My dietician keeps body shaming me :(

13

Replies

  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I just want to tell you that I went through this also. When I was 16. Same stats as you. When I recovered I ate pie and brownies. I gained fine and regained my health. I also had liver problems and fully recovered. You don't need the pressure being put on you. You can recover from this and be healthy again and lead a healthy life. Even some "helping professionals" can have their own issues and not be helpful. Therapy is also important and will help you through all of this to deal with your stress, get guidance, heal the mental/emotional stuff while your body heals.

    Neda is a good resource. Mfp has added a resource page for eating disorders.
  • DiabolicalColossus
    DiabolicalColossus Posts: 219 Member
    Hey, OP. Just a few things...


    1) If your dietician is giving you conflicting information and changing her tune every time you see her, drop her. You need reliable information that only changes when medically necessary and appropriate. (i.e., if your numbers change after blood work or if your physician makes that determination), and it doesn't appear that she's giving you that. Find someone who has experience treating people who are in recovery and is interested in working in conjunction with your physician.

    2) Consider therapy to help with your feelings during the recovery process, and to help you deal with the additional stress/unhappiness that this woman has caused you, whether inadvertent or not. You need a safe place where your feelings are valid and worth exploring. You can also work on coping mechanisms should something extremely stressful happen again. As you learn to cope with recovery and with things in general, you'll become mentally stronger. People like your soon-to-be former dietician will be little more than a blip on your radar screen.

    3) Consider the 10 pound gain a personal victory, because that's what it is. Remember that your liver has improved. The other stuff about body composition and whatnot can be discussed with your physician and your future dietician. Every time you feel badly, think about those things. Think about how far you've already come and how much further you have to go. I know that last part seems overwhelming at first, but you clearly want to get better. You simply wanting to get better, going to appointments, dealing with your emotions and eating as advised by medical professionals will ensure that.

    You will get better. It'll take a lot of hard work. There will be stress, there will be tears and there will be days where you don't do everything "perfectly". I only say that to be realistic, not harsh or non-supportive. Through therapy or counseling you'll learn how to forgive yourself for not doing things "perfectly".

    You know you're worth it. That's why you sought medical intervention in the first place. Don't let someone else change that.

    Good luck, OP. Try to be a bit gentler with yourself until this particular bout of sadness lessens.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    Wow - luckily I had already blocked the douche in a previous post, so I am not as exposed to idiotic remarks.

    Remember this - you ALWAYS have the right to care and compassion when it comes to health care providers. If you are not receiving what you expect, move on to a different dietician, counsellor, doctor, surgeon, WHATEVER. They will not take it personally, as sometimes two people just do not mesh.

    Remove what your nutritionist told you, speak with your doctor about getting a referral to someone different. DO NOT let this worker defeat you, or the d-bags on MFP for that matter.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member


    OOOh and its "chocolatediet" lady - not surprised at all! I would have thought natural selection would have taken its course and that user would have been hit by a bus already. Ill continue to keep my fingers crossed.

    My God!
    Hoping someone gets hit by a bus? For posting a "looking around" gif??

    I'm so glad that OP got some real, solid advice amid this foolishness.
  • I just want to tell you that I went through this also. When I was 16. Same stats as you. When I recovered I ate pie and brownies. I gained fine and regained my health. I also had liver problems and fully recovered. You don't need the pressure being put on you. You can recover from this and be healthy again and lead a healthy life. Even some "helping professionals" can have their own issues and not be helpful. Therapy is also important and will help you through all of this to deal with your stress, get guidance, heal the mental/emotional stuff while your body heals.

    Neda is a good resource. Mfp has added a resource page for eating disorders.

    Would you mind if I PMd you and asked a few more questions since you were in the exact same boat as me? I am really curious to know more about how it all can turn out positively. Also thank you to everyone else who keeps on answering! You are giving hope to me.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I just want to tell you that I went through this also. When I was 16. Same stats as you. When I recovered I ate pie and brownies. I gained fine and regained my health. I also had liver problems and fully recovered. You don't need the pressure being put on you. You can recover from this and be healthy again and lead a healthy life. Even some "helping professionals" can have their own issues and not be helpful. Therapy is also important and will help you through all of this to deal with your stress, get guidance, heal the mental/emotional stuff while your body heals.

    Neda is a good resource. Mfp has added a resource page for eating disorders.

    Would you mind if I PMd you and asked a few more questions since you were in the exact same boat as me? I am really curious to know more about how it all can turn out positively. Also thank you to everyone else who keeps on answering! You are giving hope to me.

    Sure. You can message me.
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
    I am not 100% certain, but from your post, it doesn't sound like you received mental health treatment. It's extremely tough to long-term beat an eating disorder without some form of therapy (from a counselor, psychologist, social worker, etc). As you have learned from this thread, there are far more unkind and thoughtless people out there than your RD. Therapy will help you learn how to deal with the asshats of the world. DBT is a great form of treatment for people suffering from eating disorders.

    Agree with this 100%. Recovery from ED is not just a medical/nutrition issue. It is a mental health issue and you would greatly benefit from seeing a psychologist trained in treating ED's.

    GREAT JOB working on getting healthy! That is great progress. If your nutritionist isn't communicating with you effectively, find someone else who can work with you more productively. There are many wonderful RD's out there with great compassion and insight.

    Hugs to you!
  • mkfoster9
    mkfoster9 Posts: 15 Member
    So I was underweight and unhealthy. I was 85 lbs and 5'2, female, 19. I took it upon myself to grow up and get some damn help. So I scouted out my own doctor and nutritionist and left the pediatrician I had as a kid. Now I go see my nutritionist (RD, LDN) once a week, but as of late we are conflicting.

    ...

    My worst issue with her is she keeps body shaming me, more or less, making me feel bad about having ice cream when I was physically emaciated and now telling me against my doctor's word that I am somehow damaging my liver by eating ice cream. God, what did I do wrong? Do you think I truly messed my liver up? I mean, it IMPROVED with the 10 lbs, not declined! I feel so ashamed because of this woman and I am more and more depressed every day, but only because of HER.

    When I told her she was stressing me out, she told me to go see a therapist.

    Well no therapy is going to help me figure out what is wrong with my stupid liver, so what gives?

    You would probably benefit from a therapist not because this person says you need one, but as a general "quarterback" for the team that's helping you and a touchstone for yourself. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater because someone snarkily suggested it.

    Your nutritionist (not to defend her manner) is probably not used to people with your particular set of goals and background,. I doubt she's shaming you on purpose, but rather she's working in a realm where she isn't specialized. Scientifically speaking, I would not like to be "in a corner" where obviously the gains you saw need re-enforced, but doing that re-enforcement means praising a diet that's 2/3s desert. A classically trained nutritionist would (and for many OTHER PATIENTS, should) find it difficult. She's dealing with the instinct to tell you "ten pounds is good...but...

    Where something technically, pedantically correct about how it could have been more normative food choices follows the "but."

    In her mind, she's likely turned the ship (you) to the north, generally, and now wants to turn it a bit to the east, because North is good, North is the right general direction, but the rudder could use a tap to conform with her textbook, which says "North and a little east"

    She likely doesn't understand that you are in a position where "North" and "North East" feel very different and "I know last week I said north, you made progress with north, but now I'm thinking Northeast" feels like a wishy-washy reversal, and jerking the rudder around too much endangers the whole voyage.

    Like many mainstream medical professionals, she's trained to give you accurate scientific advice, but probably not trained at all on HOW to deliver, modify, or qualify it - thus, it's not always going to be compassionate or productive. If you're lost in the clouds and ask me where you are and I yell up "in a hot air balloon" I haven't "technically" done anything wrong, but I'm not being useful to YOU in YOUR situation.

    You are "the customer" and always have the right to change out any member of your medical team for any reason (right down to not liking their aftershave), and you probably should seek a new start with a new nutritionist,...that said, I'd like to re-iterate that a therapeutic professional in the ED realm may actually be able to help you interact with medical professionals whose training is mainly clinical and not relational. He or she would be able to hear out your concerns in full and not try give you cookie cutter, one-size-fits-all (badly) advice.

    My family doctor is very good, generally, but his advice on weight to my (overweight) self was always "Just lose weight"

    He's a friend of my family and I see him outside of work and understand that it frustrates and scares him that people won't do what seems simple to him, but even having that understanding of him as a person prevented me from codeswitching and utilizing his terribly phrased and inaccessible advice.

    But in my case, it took talking with a therapeutic professional to let go of some of the stress, anger, and coping mechanisms that were driving my diet into the "red zone" (along with some other maladaptive behavior beyond the scope of MFP generally)
  • So I was underweight and unhealthy. I was 85 lbs and 5'2, female, 19. I took it upon myself to grow up and get some damn help. So I scouted out my own doctor and nutritionist and left the pediatrician I had as a kid. Now I go see my nutritionist (RD, LDN) once a week, but as of late we are conflicting.

    ...

    My worst issue with her is she keeps body shaming me, more or less, making me feel bad about having ice cream when I was physically emaciated and now telling me against my doctor's word that I am somehow damaging my liver by eating ice cream. God, what did I do wrong? Do you think I truly messed my liver up? I mean, it IMPROVED with the 10 lbs, not declined! I feel so ashamed because of this woman and I am more and more depressed every day, but only because of HER.

    When I told her she was stressing me out, she told me to go see a therapist.

    Well no therapy is going to help me figure out what is wrong with my stupid liver, so what gives?

    You would probably benefit from a therapist not because this person says you need one, but as a general "quarterback" for the team that's helping you and a touchstone for yourself. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater because someone snarkily suggested it.

    Your nutritionist (not to defend her manner) is probably not used to people with your particular set of goals and background,. I doubt she's shaming you on purpose, but rather she's working in a realm where she isn't specialized. Scientifically speaking, I would not like to be "in a corner" where obviously the gains you saw need re-enforced, but doing that re-enforcement means praising a diet that's 2/3s desert. A classically trained nutritionist would (and for many OTHER PATIENTS, should) find it difficult. She's dealing with the instinct to tell you "ten pounds is good...but...

    Where something technically, pedantically correct about how it could have been more normative food choices follows the "but."

    In her mind, she's likely turned the ship (you) to the north, generally, and now wants to turn it a bit to the east, because North is good, North is the right general direction, but the rudder could use a tap to conform with her textbook, which says "North and a little east"

    She likely doesn't understand that you are in a position where "North" and "North East" feel very different and "I know last week I said north, you made progress with north, but now I'm thinking Northeast" feels like a wishy-washy reversal, and jerking the rudder around too much endangers the whole voyage.

    Like many mainstream medical professionals, she's trained to give you accurate scientific advice, but probably not trained at all on HOW to deliver, modify, or qualify it - thus, it's not always going to be compassionate or productive. If you're lost in the clouds and ask me where you are and I yell up "in a hot air balloon" I haven't "technically" done anything wrong, but I'm not being useful to YOU in YOUR situation.

    You are "the customer" and always have the right to change out any member of your medical team for any reason (right down to not liking their aftershave), and you probably should seek a new start with a new nutritionist,...that said, I'd like to re-iterate that a therapeutic professional in the ED realm may actually be able to help you interact with medical professionals whose training is mainly clinical and not relational. He or she would be able to hear out your concerns in full and not try give you cookie cutter, one-size-fits-all (badly) advice.

    My family doctor is very good, generally, but his advice on weight to my (overweight) self was always "Just lose weight"

    He's a friend of my family and I see him outside of work and understand that it frustrates and scares him that people won't do what seems simple to him, but even having that understanding of him as a person prevented me from codeswitching and utilizing his terribly phrased and inaccessible advice.

    But in my case, it took talking with a therapeutic professional to let go of some of the stress, anger, and coping mechanisms that were driving my diet into the "red zone" (along with some other maladaptive behavior beyond the scope of MFP generally)

    Woah haha lots of analogies here...but I get what you're saying. I know in retrospect I should probably have laid off the desserts...but you know what she told me? A calorie is a calorie and 'you desperately need to gain weight.' What else would I do? Why should I regret it?

    Its a lot different for someone to look at it from my starving perspective. I mean do you know what it is like to not be able to even LOOK at pie for two years and then suddenly someone promises and REASSURES you that you can eat as much pie as you want and gain the same amount as if you ate the same weight in spinach and chicken breast? Cause that is what she told me, so you know what I did! I ate the pie.

    Long story short, I appreciate the advice, and see where she is likely coming from with her nutrition in mind, but I do NOT appreciate the way she told me one thing (eat what you want, you're dying of starvation) and then when I came back 10 lbs heavier she said something which translated to ME as "Wow! Way to screw up your body!" I know it might and likely is my perception, but that is still how she communicates to ME. So I am seeking out a more sensitive, relaxed dietician. I am calling the new one tomorrow! She is also a therapist.
  • Maitria
    Maitria Posts: 439 Member
    I am calling the new one tomorrow! She is also a therapist.

    This is excellent. :flowerforyou:
  • corgicake
    corgicake Posts: 846 Member
    Follow through on her suggestion of rounding up a therapist... and have the therapist pick your dietician's replacement.
  • PixieGoddess
    PixieGoddess Posts: 1,833 Member
    I am calling the new one tomorrow! She is also a therapist.

    This is excellent. :flowerforyou:

    Agreed! Way to take a difficult situation and let it motivate you to do even better! That's the best attitude! Good luck on your journey! :drinker:
  • Follow through on her suggestion of rounding up a therapist... and have the therapist pick your dietician's replacement.

    good idea!!
  • A couple things stand out about this post...

    Based on the outrage in your post, the length of your post and the fact that you are crying over a 10 pound gain on a body that very much needs it, I think you are being oversensitive. This is totally normal for people who have, or are recovering from, eating disorders. We are not in the room with you when she is saying this to you but, to me, it doesn't sound like she is intentionally trying to body shame you.

    Think about why you feel the way that you do. Think about why you are getting so upset. What is the root cause of the issue?

    If you are unhappy with your dietitian, find a new one. Life is too short. Just know that any dietitian is going to frankly discuss what you are eating and how it is impacting your body. Criticism is not shaming.

    THIS ^^
  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
    Tell your doc about what the nutritionist is doing and get a referral to a different one. The doc needs to know the one you have is no good for anorexics.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    Who was the person that made those awful comments?

    OP, I'm so happy you are finding a new professional. I wish you the best of luck and know that you can totally beat this!!:flowerforyou:
  • ksy1969
    ksy1969 Posts: 700 Member
    I really suggest everyone stop engaging the asshats among and actually use the report button. For the sake of the OP who doesn't need the MFing trash on her post.

    LOL, I was trying to figure out who the "asshat" was because all i am seeing is quotes of someone talking when they shouldn't be and others responding to that person. Then I realized, I must have them blocked. Still don't know who it is because I have a few people blocked. :laugh:
  • PixieGoddess
    PixieGoddess Posts: 1,833 Member
    I really suggest everyone stop engaging the asshats among and actually use the report button. For the sake of the OP who doesn't need the MFing trash on her post.

    LOL, I was trying to figure out who the "asshat" was because all i am seeing is quotes of someone talking when they shouldn't be and others responding to that person. Then I realized, I must have them blocked. Still don't know who it is because I have a few people blocked. :laugh:

    Actually, their posts have been removed b/c we were all reporting them. :happy:
  • ksy1969
    ksy1969 Posts: 700 Member
    I really suggest everyone stop engaging the asshats among and actually use the report button. For the sake of the OP who doesn't need the MFing trash on her post.

    LOL, I was trying to figure out who the "asshat" was because all i am seeing is quotes of someone talking when they shouldn't be and others responding to that person. Then I realized, I must have them blocked. Still don't know who it is because I have a few people blocked. :laugh:

    Actually, their posts have been removed b/c we were all reporting them. :happy:

    Ahh, that makes sense now. I thought I should be able to see that a blocked user was posting, just not see what they are posting. Thanks,
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
    Don't bother with the Report button; just use the Ignore function.

    Under everyone's avatar there is a small down arrow. Click it. Choose "Ignore User."

    Use this liberally for a few days and you'll almost never see trolls (and then you won't have to feed them).

    Edit: Also, if you feel you MUST reply to a troll, don't copy their text. These negative comments would be gone had all those people not quoted them in full, making THOSE people the trolls.
  • missdibs1
    missdibs1 Posts: 1,092 Member
    So I was underweight and unhealthy. I was 85 lbs and 5'2, female, 19. I took it upon myself to grow up and get some damn help. So I scouted out my own doctor and nutritionist and left the pediatrician I had as a kid. Now I go see my nutritionist (RD, LDN) once a week, but as of late we are conflicting.

    At first, about two months ago, I was, as I said, underweight. Now I am 96 lbs and 20 y.o.! Good, right? Progress! In two months I gained all this weight and it was emotionally horrifying, and I feel like she (the nutritionist) is not giving me due credit, as she says triggering things to me that generally make me go home and cry in my bedroom for hours on end. This is the first time in my life I have actually felt genuinely suicidal.

    For instance, starting out, she told me to STOP counting calories and restrict NOTHING. So I did, and this led to me eating (at what I estimate) 3500 calories a day, 2,000 of those coming from desserts like frozen yogurt and banana cream pie (hey, that is SOME nutrition). Anyways, she reassured me that this was ok because all foods had macros in them (some protein in frozen yogurt, some healthy fat in ice cream) and since I was underweight, I would not gain all fat because my body was DIFFERENT that a normal body. Thus, the 500 calorie a day surplus to gain 'healthy weight and muscle' was not applicable to a starving person. Ok. So I did this and gained 10 lbs eating ice cream.

    After the 10 lbs, I returned to go see her again. I was shocked at how much she made me feel guilty. She told me I had not 'screwed anything up' however I probably gained more fat than I would have if I didn't chow down on cookies and pies. WHAT!? SHE LITERALLY TOLD ME THE OPPOSITE BEFORE! And now she is telling me I messed up my body composition by not paying attention to macros. Please, she told me NEVER to count macros! I am at a loss for words! So I have just been crying.

    I have another issue. My liver is irritated. It improved since I gained the 10 lbs, went down from a high number to almost normal! But my nutritionist insists it is because I 'ate too much ice cream' and made my diet 'like a roller coaster.' She is not listening to me or my physician, who says this is likely a 'passing virus,' as I had the issue even when underweight before and it has actually IMPROVED.

    So, my question is, HOW THE HELL would my liver IMPROVING mean I screwed it up by eating a lot of desserts which she told me were actually ok to eat in recovery! Now I want to maintain my weight and see where I can go from here. I have a hard time listening to her now cause she keeps going back on her word, and I am so stressed out I don't know where to go from here.

    My worst issue with her is she keeps body shaming me, more or less, making me feel bad about having ice cream when I was physically emaciated and now telling me against my doctor's word that I am somehow damaging my liver by eating ice cream. God, what did I do wrong? Do you think I truly messed my liver up? I mean, it IMPROVED with the 10 lbs, not declined! I feel so ashamed because of this woman and I am more and more depressed every day, but only because of HER.

    When I told her she was stressing me out, she told me to go see a therapist.

    Well no therapy is going to help me figure out what is wrong with my stupid liver, so what gives?

    If you are not gettin galong with her or do not like her methods get a new nutritionist ITS THAT SIMPLE

    also gain weight at a rate that is ok with you (so no relapse)
  • srd_23
    srd_23 Posts: 43 Member
    You're dietician may not mean to come across in a negative way like that. However, I understand how important it is to have a person you trust as a care provider. It took me a long time to find a doctor I felt comfortable with. If your dietician is not a good fit, then by all means, I would switch.

    By the way, gaining 10 pounds when you are underweight is a HUGE accomplishment! So what if its all fat??? Its not like you can't excercise after the fact and regain some muscle. I think you've taken a step towards a healthier body by gaining that weight, and you should acknowledge that accomplishment and celebrate it! Its really important to stay positive and recognize your victories for what they are. Otherwise, you may get depressed, and discouraged and slide back into old habits.
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    Find a new nutritionist and observe healthier food options?
  • You're dietician may not mean to come across in a negative way like that. However, I understand how important it is to have a person you trust as a care provider. It took me a long time to find a doctor I felt comfortable with. If your dietician is not a good fit, then by all means, I would switch.

    By the way, gaining 10 pounds when you are underweight is a HUGE accomplishment! So what if its all fat??? Its not like you can't excercise after the fact and regain some muscle. I think you've taken a step towards a healthier body by gaining that weight, and you should acknowledge that accomplishment and celebrate it! Its really important to stay positive and recognize your victories for what they are. Otherwise, you may get depressed, and discouraged and slide back into old habits.

    I can tell this is an ED voice and it is not your fault that I react this way, but unfortunately this comment is really triggering to me :(. All the more reason to see that new therapist I called today. I'm waiting for her to return my call. In the meantime though, I'd like to point out that it isn't really a healthy idea in my opinion to just gain a bunch of fat and then fix it afterwards...that is like relapse or yo yo dieting to me...but I get where you're coming from. However, it is worth mentioning that my stupid dietician said "you won't gain JUST fat no matter what you eat, including cake and ice cream" so that is what I thought was true. I just trusted her and I feel so stupid :( it truly can't be all fat though, I mean I have a little muscle in my calves and arms.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Instead of going to see a therapist (which may help), you should find a new nutritionist.
    This!

    Please do. She should be more aware of the underlying issues, and it doesn't seem she is.
  • srd_23
    srd_23 Posts: 43 Member
    You're dietician may not mean to come across in a negative way like that. However, I understand how important it is to have a person you trust as a care provider. It took me a long time to find a doctor I felt comfortable with. If your dietician is not a good fit, then by all means, I would switch.

    By the way, gaining 10 pounds when you are underweight is a HUGE accomplishment! So what if its all fat??? Its not like you can't excercise after the fact and regain some muscle. I think you've taken a step towards a healthier body by gaining that weight, and you should acknowledge that accomplishment and celebrate it! Its really important to stay positive and recognize your victories for what they are. Otherwise, you may get depressed, and discouraged and slide back into old habits.

    I can tell this is an ED voice and it is not your fault that I react this way, but unfortunately this comment is really triggering to me :(. All the more reason to see that new therapist I called today. I'm waiting for her to return my call. In the meantime though, I'd like to point out that it isn't really a healthy idea in my opinion to just gain a bunch of fat and then fix it afterwards...that is like relapse or yo yo dieting to me...but I get where you're coming from. However, it is worth mentioning that my stupid dietician said "you won't gain JUST fat no matter what you eat, including cake and ice cream" so that is what I thought was true. I just trusted her and I feel so stupid :( it truly can't be all fat though, I mean I have a little muscle in my calves and arms.

    Look, I am not suggesting that you yo yo diet. I am suggesting that you need both fat and muscle to be healthy. You gained some fat. Thats good! It is an accomplishment that you should look on positively! And your next step is to gain muscle. You are not correcting a mistake, you are continuing on the path to a healthy body. This is not a yo yo diet. I agree that eating only ice cream and pie probably isn't the most nutritious way to gain weight, but gaining the fat isn't the problem, its lacking a balanced nutrition that is. I just think that you need to take the good with the bad. Give yourself credit, focus on your accomplishments, or your negativity will hold you back.

    I am also not defending the skills of your dietician. She did give some questionable and conflicting advice. I was just pointing out that it may not have been her intention to make you feel attacked and ashamed. Or maybe it was, I have no way of knowing. I just know that a lot of health professionals do what they do out of a desire to help people. Granted, not all of them. But I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. She isn't working out as your dietician, so let go of all of her advice and comments and move forward with a new dietician.

    I am sorry that my comment "triggered" you. It did come from a desire to help, and I truly wish you well. I do suggest however, that if you are sensitive (and there is nothing at all wrong with this) then the internet may not be the best place to ask for advice. You will hear a lot of different things from different people, and many will be direct. If you are struggling with self esteem issues (which lots of us do) you may want to confide in that therapist that hopefully will be calling you back shortly. They are trained to help you rebuild yourself emotionally. I am not trained. I do hope that I haven't hurt your feelings with any of this.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    You're dietician may not mean to come across in a negative way like that. However, I understand how important it is to have a person you trust as a care provider. It took me a long time to find a doctor I felt comfortable with. If your dietician is not a good fit, then by all means, I would switch.

    By the way, gaining 10 pounds when you are underweight is a HUGE accomplishment! So what if its all fat??? Its not like you can't excercise after the fact and regain some muscle. I think you've taken a step towards a healthier body by gaining that weight, and you should acknowledge that accomplishment and celebrate it! Its really important to stay positive and recognize your victories for what they are. Otherwise, you may get depressed, and discouraged and slide back into old habits.

    I can tell this is an ED voice and it is not your fault that I react this way, but unfortunately this comment is really triggering to me :(. All the more reason to see that new therapist I called today. I'm waiting for her to return my call. In the meantime though, I'd like to point out that it isn't really a healthy idea in my opinion to just gain a bunch of fat and then fix it afterwards...that is like relapse or yo yo dieting to me...but I get where you're coming from. However, it is worth mentioning that my stupid dietician said "you won't gain JUST fat no matter what you eat, including cake and ice cream" so that is what I thought was true. I just trusted her and I feel so stupid :( it truly can't be all fat though, I mean I have a little muscle in my calves and arms.

    Look, I am not suggesting that you yo yo diet. I am suggesting that you need both fat and muscle to be healthy. You gained some fat. Thats good! It is an accomplishment that you should look on positively! And your next step is to gain muscle. You are not correcting a mistake, you are continuing on the path to a healthy body. This is not a yo yo diet. I agree that eating only ice cream and pie probably isn't the most nutritious way to gain weight, but gaining the fat isn't the problem, its lacking a balanced nutrition that is. I just think that you need to take the good with the bad. Give yourself credit, focus on your accomplishments, or your negativity will hold you back.

    I am also not defending the skills of your dietician. She did give some questionable and conflicting advice. I was just pointing out that it may not have been her intention to make you feel attacked and ashamed. Or maybe it was, I have no way of knowing. I just know that a lot of health professionals do what they do out of a desire to help people. Granted, not all of them. But I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. She isn't working out as your dietician, so let go of all of her advice and comments and move forward with a new dietician.

    I am sorry that my comment "triggered" you. It did come from a desire to help, and I truly wish you well. I do suggest however, that if you are sensitive (and there is nothing at all wrong with this) then the internet may not be the best place to ask for advice. You will hear a lot of different things from different people, and many will be direct. If you are struggling with self esteem issues (which lots of us do) you may want to confide in that therapist that hopefully will be calling you back shortly. They are trained to help you rebuild yourself emotionally. I am not trained. I do hope that I haven't hurt your feelings with any of this.

    Agree. I hope that you get help OP and wish you the best of luck, but the internet may not be the best place to ask for advice if you are worried about being triggered by a comment that seemed to have the best of intentions. I also quite seriously doubt that you have gained any muscle unless you have been strength training along with eating at a surplus.

    Hopefully your new Dietitian will work out for you. If not, keep going until you find one that does. After all, it's your time, your money, and your health.
  • parkscs
    parkscs Posts: 1,639 Member
    If you want to gain muscle instead of just fat, you need to be lifting. It doesn't matter if you're eating tons of protein or tons of desserts, you shouldn't expect to see any real muscle gains if you aren't exercising. There are plenty of health reasons why you probably shouldn't just eat 3500 calories worth of donuts every day, but it's not like that alone is what prevented muscle gain - it's the absence of an exercise routine aimed at building muscle. You may see some LBM gains just from eating a surplus if you were malnourished previously, but generally you need to look into exercise if you really want to put on some weight while maintaining a reasonable body composition.
  • lessbounce
    lessbounce Posts: 250 Member
    Yep luv :flowerforyou: it's definitely her and not you. Walk away with your head held high, go find a decent nutirionalist. You might have to try a few before you find one that fits you, but this one just sounds plain wrong. Incidentally I had way more damage done to my liver (through an undiagnosed medical problem), it's an amazing organ and is very good at healing itself - it might just be in shock at the change of diet.


    You sound like a very strong lady, keep going and listen to what your heart is telling you.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    When a young person loses that much weight and regains they will gain muscle along with the fat even if they are not lifting. Of course they will gain more muscle with weight bearing and strength building.