Seriously...HOW???

You just do it. If you want it bad enough you make it happen.

This is true for me. And on those days when I don't want it enough, I focus on TRYING to do the right thing each time I have a meal. It's a lot of trial and error. I never had a weight issue growing up, but, long story made very short.....an accident (hit from behind in the car) got me off of exercise for a few yrs. I finally got sick of feeling like crap and puttered around here and there until 2 1/2 yrs ago I started lifting. The weight started to drop almost seamlessly and the better I felt (because I just wasn't really trying to do anything specific), the more I wanted to do the right things with my nutrition. The cold, hard major fact though.....is that nutrition is close to everything. I thought I could exercise ANYTHING off. Lots of justifications and lots of hard work - and it does work - but only to a point. I finally hit my point where I want to be healthy and to do that I need to eat right and exercise. Period. Lots of shortcuts were tried....but nothing works like nutrition and exercise.

It's a different process for everyone. Just don't give up! That feels worse, emotionally, than sticking with healthy eating!

Major Congrats!!!!

You don't want it bad enough yet. Think about the olympics. They train like maniacs and have one goal, to get the gold medal. Nothing gets in their way by trying to achieve this. Strong mind is what it takes and where many people struggle with.

Yeah, I don't want to win the Olympics. I want to find a way to make this PART of my life but not make it my life if that makes sense. Finding balance is always a problem with me. Wanting to give 100% to my job, my family, and my health but there's not enough time, energy, and focus to give each the attention it deserves.

You've gotten a lot of good advice already as I haven't read through all the responses yet.

Are you a perfectionist?

If so, you are like me. Here's what I've learned about trying to be a perfectionist: is you spend so much time trying to do everything perfect that what you end up doing is everything half-*kitten*. This is what I've experienced in life, not meant to be mean in any way. My riding instructor said something yesterday when I told her my knees were so sore from running that I couldn't do more than walk my horse during my ride. Here's what she said: "Then it's time to stop running and just walk more. Do you want to ride an upper level horse in two years or do you want to run? You need to figure out your priorities." Now my riding instructor is very blunt, and usually right. She's already got my next horse picked out for me because she sees a talent in me that I don't see yet. Her point was that I need to slow down and figure out what I want more. At age 40, I still need to learn how to ride and jump because in two years I'm investing a lot of money in a horse. So I need to be able to ride that horse. My point is I can't give 100% to both riding and running right now, I have to make a difficult choice because I love both. So running is going to take a backseat.

I'm not saying to put your family, work, etc. on hold so you can log and exercise. But you do need to re-prioritize some things. Maybe you start with just logging food and don't worry about exercising for now. Make logging food accurately a part of your daily routine until it is a habit. Do you plan your meals ahead of time? Log the food then. Do you have a smartphone? Download the app and log while you are eating (that's what I do most of the time). If that is too much focus on substituting water for other drinks right now, do that for a month and then start logging food. Or don't worry about losing weight right now, just get in the habit of logging.

The reason that pushed me to get serious was chronic migraines. I just got tired of being laid up on the couch most of the time getting fatter and fatter and decided it was time for a change. The best thing you can do for your family is to get and stay healthy, they deserve that so think of it as a gift to them. However you need to think of it when you get tired of logging and exercising. Or like many have said, take baby steps.

Good luck

How do you do this every day?

Does it become the most important thing in your life? Do you put tracking your calories and finding healthy food and making time to exercise above everything else in your life?

I can do it for a week. Sometimes I can do it for a month. But I've never been able to continue for longer than that without putting the weight back on.

I cringe every time I look in the mirror. I say negative things to myself every time I try to put on a pair of jeans and find out they are too tight. I feel guilty when I eat anything I shouldn't. But no matter how bad I feel I can't make myself stay on track with this.

Do I have some kind of hormone problem that makes me incapable of dealing with stress? I don't think so, in fact I think I'm pretty normal. So how the heck do I make myself keep going when I'm having a bad day or I'm on my period or I just don't feel like it?
I'm fairly intelligent. I understand the mechanics of losing weight. Am I just lazy?

HOW????

How can I stay on track for more than a week at a time? How can I fit it into my life so I don't feel like I am taking away from my family?

I can see the responses now telling me "you're not a special snowflake, just do it"

cringing and talking negatively about yourself is probably not going to make you stick with this. it is more likely a contributor to your inability to stick with it. I've been there: "why do you even try? it's not like it's going to make a difference. You are going to be fat forever...." and so on.

it's hard to get rid of those thoughts, and, they haven't completely gone away for me. but it has lessened.

Those have to change to something more positive: "you can do this. it's just entering info on a website. you go to facebook every day, why not this too? this will help you make yourself better. you are finally taking ownership...." and so on.

Making something a part of your daily routine does not necessitate that it be the most important part of your life. I make coffee every morning- doesn't mean that I worship the Keurig. (Okay, maybe a little...)
Eating healthy doesn't take anymore time than eating crap. It's just a choice you make. Like anything else, when it becomes routine, it's easy. Especially if you give up the negativity and excuses- it's amazing what a time suck those are.
And the best thing for stress in exercise. If it wasn't for my treadmill, I would spend a portion of every day throwing small objects at my husband's head.

Love this.

I started slow, and the logging is just another thing I do each day, like checking email.

I don't have time to join a gym, so I do what I can to increase my normal daily activities, like parking further away from the building at work, taking walk breaks, take the stairs instead of the elevator, got a standing desk. Do leg lifts while drying my hair. Walk laps around the kitchen island while watching the dinner cook.....it all adds up.

"you're not a special snowflake, just do it"

^^^ This! you said it! :flowerforyou:

Now, my words...

when you're ready, you'll do it & you'll do it consistently. it's quite obvious you're not really ready. doesn't mean you have to be perfect every day, just means you're signing in every day, making an attempt. logging, the good the bad the ugly. like you said: just do it

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In the past I viewed "eating healthy" in a very black/white way and felt that one splurge kind of negated all my progress. That is not helpful at all. If you eat ten Oreos and a mug of milk, log it and move on. Have fish & veggies for dinner the next 2 days. It all works out.
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Yes, this. One little slip up doesn't derail you forever. And perfection ISN'T possible during this journey, you'll burn out fast trying to hold yourself to those standards.

A few things:

First of all THANK YOU! I am going to enjoy reading your motivation and stories of success over and over and getting ideas and inspiration from them.

Yes I'm negative and grumpy in my OP. I'm not ALWAYS that negative, I am frustrated and angry at myself.

I don't only have 20 pounds to lose. I'm 5'9" 191 pounds. 20 pounds is a starting point 140-150 would be my ultimate goal weight. I've never accomplished losing that much before. I usually lose 10, gain 10-15 back, lose 10 again.

I'm not just starting this. It's a cycle I've been stuck in for the last 6-8 years. Who knows, I've lost track. It's not my first time on MFP, I had an account last year and the year before that. I had lovely supportive friends. I lost weight..I gained it back, REPEAT.

I know none of you can tell me the key for making it work for me. But I appreciate your thoughtful comments and sharing your personal stories.

I know logging and measuring my food doesn't take much time at all. Somehow it gives me anxiety of failure and sometimes I can't overcome the stress it causes me, which leads to me not logging at all.

I know my struggles are mental/emotional. I don't know how to overcome them. Thanks to a few of you who mentioned you spoke to someone professionally about your emotions and saw that it helped. I may consider this as there may be a need.

I'm not looking for a perfect body, I just want one I can be content with. I want to feel comfortable and my weight not to be an issue in any decision I make, (like should I wear my bikini to the water park or will everyone be looking at me because I'm too big to be wearing that).

I just changed my goal from 1 pound a week to 1/2 pound a week as per some of your suggestions. I do agree that something is better than nothing. That gives me 1800 calories a day to work with and I know I can do that without being hungry at all. I didn't think 1 pound a week was too restrictive but I haven't been able to stick with it so maybe taking things slower will work better for me.

Thanks again!

Oh, and exercise. I have been trying for a cpl years to become a runner. Because it's convenient, free, and I think I could enjoy it. At this point I'm still mostly a walker but I can jog for 1/2 mile or more sometimes now when I stick with it for a while :happy:

Hi

The fact you are reaching out and being honest about your struggle is a sign of grwoth and progress. Take comfort in that.

The past is done. The future will be here soon enough. Try and focus on today & today only. Its all we have to work with.

I woulda been dead in 5 years if I hadn't made this commitment. All signs were pointing that way.

Just a few things the MFP tribe and common sense has taught me:

1) This is a thing you DO, not a definition of who you ARE. Just like laundry. Take the emotion out of it wherever possible. I cannot stress this enough.

2) My approach? This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. So there is no finite number of days that I am trying to get to. I will be logging in and logging food for the rest of my life, because:

a) This program works
b) I don't want to die young and I was headed that direction

3) Try to remember - We are the results of the choices we make every day, whether those choices are good or bad. Make as many good choices as you can, and the ship will stay steady. At the end of the day, we are the man in the mirror. We are accountable to ourselves and no one else. We can help you with getting there, but the doing is up to you. Leave rationalizing at the door, and sontinue to be honest with yourself. Its the only path to long term success

Cal tracking is considered a good choice (whether boring or not) because it tells you where you really are (just like your check register tells you your balance) - remember to be honest with yourself all the time. Ultimately, you will achieve that which you are seeking much sooner.

If you will stay committed to this, your MFP tribe will commit to helping. Why? Because that's what we do. And we have ALL been there.

Three months ago? I couldn't move. Saturday? I burned 2100 calories exercising. Because? I wanted to.

You got this.. ...and we got YOUR back

FR headed your way

Fsunami

You don't want it bad enough yet. Think about the olympics. They train like maniacs and have one goal, to get the gold medal. Nothing gets in their way by trying to achieve this. Strong mind is what it takes and where many people struggle with.

Yeah, I don't want to win the Olympics. I want to find a way to make this PART of my life but not make it my life if that makes sense. Finding balance is always a problem with me. Wanting to give 100% to my job, my family, and my health but there's not enough time, energy, and focus to give each the attention it deserves.

You need to give 100% to yourself, and the rest will fall into place. I work full time, and then some (as a high school teacher), I have two kids (think sports and activities) and a husband, and I belong to a plethora of committees. But what I have found is that in order for me to take care of everyone else, I MUST take care of myself first.

When I don't eat right or exercise, I become exhausted, irritable, impatient, and less-effective both at home and at my job. My own children suffer, my students suffer, and my husband hides.

When I exercise, eat right, get enough sleep, and yes, sometimes leave work on time (even though all those essays are ungraded), I am a better human being. My children comment on how much more relaxed I am, and my students comment on how I seem less stressed and "in a good mood".

I get up at 4:45 in the morning to get in a 3.5 mile walk. I make sure I'm in bed, and ready for sleep by 9:30 at the latest. I personally believe that when you make yourself a priority, you have more to give to other people. My health is important - why should I sacrifice that? What kind of a lesson am I teaching my children if I don't exercise and don't eat right?

Well done! This is the answer. OP, you say you want it to be a "part" of your life and not your whole life. I get that, I work, I have kids, husband, animals, etc. But I also think you need to ask yourself how much of your life is spent hating the way you look, the way you feel? How much of your life is spent making excuses of why you can't do something because you don't have the energy? As your kids get older and want to be even more active, do you want to be able to join in with them, or sit on the sidelines? Your family feeds off how you feel about yourself as well as how much you love them!

You can set yourself log-in reminders on the app if you need extra motivation.

You make showering a major priority, correct?

Same concept.

You don't have to be perfect; you only need continuous effort, a conscientious desire to improve your health.

You'll have days where you get off track. No biggie. Don't use a few days wandering off the path as an excuse to STAY off the path.

I felt the same way you did. I started this over and over and never got past a few days. I Kept wondering how ppl log everyday..how do they not get bored of it? How do they remember? Then I ate, felt guilty, spent time crying trying on clothes, and complaining how fat I was. I had time to fb, write emails, chat with friends. I have a son and I know that my weight was not helping to take care of him. I felt sluggish.

For the past 30 days I have logged everyday. I just did. I stopped asking how and just did it. It takes me 2 seconds as I sit down to eat to log. Sometimes when I have spare time instead of watching tv or facebook I log in my next meal (considering I know what it will be). Im doing it with my husband so we motivate each other. I have to say that helps too. Find someone that will help you. There is also a notification on the app that reminds me at night if I missed any of my logs that day. I must say I haven't had to use it yet.

Seriously I find it easier to diet eating more or less the same foods. I don't eat out anymore and all my foods are saved so I just check them off. Easy!

It took time to get in here, to write your story, to reply. That time you could have planned your whole days meals and then just stick to it.

Im not a pro only 30 days today! But im proud of them and my 14 lbs down! You can do it!

If you want it bad enough you make it happen, I get up at 1:30 am to do HIIT and eat breakfast before going to the gym at 4 am every day, not because I want to be up when everyone else is leaving the bar, because it is my lifestyle at this point.