is it ok to be a chubby chaser?

I am so hoping this is a troll post, because it really is not making any sense.

A married couple who both want to lose weight, but that are attracted to each as they are and they would not be attracted to each other if the other one fit.

What?

There's nothing inherently wrong with liking what you like. However, when what you like is something that is extremely unhealthy, and the person decides they want to actually get healthy, and you don't want that, you should really evaluate what it is about yourself that makes you want that in someone.

If he doesn't do cardiovascular workouts and just weight lifts he would actually get bigger. No such thing as turning fat into muscle that's why men who are looking to get fit, cut then bulk for their muscle. All it would do is cause muscle to build under the fat, it would do him no good not to run, walk or even diet. I think if he is your husband you should be past the physical phase and focus more on him as a person and his health. Looks don't last and even before they go, it still isn't enough to sustain a happy relationship. I think if he really wants this, what you want as it doesn't sound like it's about him at all but about you only, that should be put on the back burner and support him as much as you want the support for your journey.

Um no. The only way to lose weight is to burn more calories than you consume. It doesn't matter what kind of exercise you do, or if you do any exercise at all.

You're taking a completely different aspect of what I am saying here. I wasn't saying that at all, I said he would lose but he would build muscle under fat, that you can't turn fat into muscle, you have to burn the fat, whether that be by running, walking OR DIET. Eventually, he wouldn't lose anymore without cardio and DIET. Aside from that statement, you need both cardio and strength training, you cant just do strength training and expect to lose, initially any type of workout will make someone who is normally sedentary lose weight but you will hit a plateau. You can only go down in your calories so much and burn so much from strength training alone. A well rounded exercise regimen is needed to get the best results possible and cardio is excellent for cardiovascular health, stamina and neuro function as well as longevity, losing weight isn't the only goal here.

No, you did not say he would lose, you said he would build muscle under his fat. You don't need cardio, or weight lifting for that matter, for weight loss. All that matters for weight loss is burning more calories than you consume.

If he doesn't do cardiovascular workouts and just weight lifts he would actually get bigger. No such thing as turning fat into muscle that's why men who are looking to get fit, cut then bulk for their muscle. All it would do is cause muscle to build under the fat, it would do him no good not to run, walk or even diet. I think if he is your husband you should be past the physical phase and focus more on him as a person and his health. Looks don't last and even before they go, it still isn't enough to sustain a happy relationship. I think if he really wants this, what you want as it doesn't sound like it's about him at all but about you only, that should be put on the back burner and support him as much as you want the support for your journey.

Um no. The only way to lose weight is to burn more calories than you consume. It doesn't matter what kind of exercise you do, or if you do any exercise at all.

You're taking a completely different aspect of what I am saying here. I wasn't saying that at all, I said he would lose but he would build muscle under fat, that you can't turn fat into muscle, you have to burn the fat, whether that be by running, walking OR DIET. Eventually, he wouldn't lose anymore without cardio and DIET. Aside from that statement, you need both cardio and strength training, you cant just do strength training and expect to lose, initially any type of workout will make someone who is normally sedentary lose weight but you will hit a plateau. You can only go down in your calories so much and burn so much from strength training alone. A well rounded exercise regimen is needed to get the best results possible and cardio is excellent for cardiovascular health, stamina and neuro function as well as longevity, losing weight isn't the only goal here.

No, you did not say he would lose, you said he would build muscle under his fat. You don't need cardio, or weight lifting for that matter, for weight loss. All that matters for weight loss is burning more calories than you consume.

I think you are nit picking and one of those "experts" of mfp. My discussion with the OP wasn't about weight loss it was about building muscle and how building muscle isn't fat turning into muscle. smh Yes, it would cause him to build muscle under fat, yes he could lose weight without cardio but it's not the best idea and yes he will end up with a plateau and YES it can cause him to become bigger. Refer to many nutritionists, personal trainers, etc. She also mentioned that he use to starve himself to lose weight, if he burned more than he consumed without cardio or weight lifting he would only be consuming a very very small amount of calories that is nearly impossible to do for life, what happens when he goes back to a diet that is more sustainable? I have taken nutrition and diet courses as per my degree so I don't need the deficit talk thanks. I was talking about cutting then bulking too never said he wouldn't lose weight, I said he would get larger NEVER once did I say he wouldn't lose weight! SO thanks for putting words in my mouth, bravo expert.

Chubby chaser=Awesome
I love me some thick men

My fiance is chubby and I love it. There's no problem with preferring that your man has a good amount of meat on his bones!
However, even tho I've never been able to find a skinny man attractive, I'd still love him all the same if he was skinny! He feels the same way, he prefers chubby women, but he is supporting my weight loss because he loves me to death.

Support his health and Desires! If being lean is what makes him happy than you'll just have to deal with it. However I think you'll find that everything will be alright. Honestly as he gradually loses weight I'm sure you won't even really notice any change in your attraction. If you love him and you're beside him every step of the way when it comes to his weight loss, you'll be too familiar with his looks to be surprised by his changes.

Thanks for the advice your the only one that gave me good advice without bashing or thought I was a complete quack! Lol... I see what your saying maybe the whole thought of him not chubby is scary like he would be a complete different person but like you said it will be gradual and my perseption of attraction towards him will change...

I thought my advice was good. :kicksrock:

I'd much rather have a healthy husband, but that's just me. Also, doing cardio isn't going to magically make him skinny, but it WILL help him have a healthier heart.

Sorry, OP, but you're just being selfish.

My thoughts exactly.

If anything, Im thinking that maybe there is a fear of him becoming fit and more attractive to more ladies.

I'm going to reply to the actual *question* then to the problem. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone who is thicker, or plus sized. You can't control who or what you're attracted to any more than you can control the weather, and that's a good thing! People of all shapes and sizes need love and adoration. Now, with that said, when you marry someone, you marry them for better or worse. When I married my husband, we were BOTH pushing 400lbs. He was a big man at 6'6 and nearly 400lbs. He wanted to lose weight so that he would be around for me, and our daughter. It wasn't a looks thing- it was a health thing. He chose to have RNY gastric by-pass in September of 2011, and has since lost roughly 180lbs. At 6'6 and around 220lbs, to me, he's painfully thin, but I love him just as much today, as the day I married him. I think he's a handsome man heavy or thin. He's the same man I married. I, too, have lost roughly 170lbs due to lifestyle changes, and a diagnosis/treatment of PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). I look dramatically different at 5'8 and 225lbs than I did at 5'8 and 400lbs. He still loves me just as much now, than he did then, even though, I personally think my body looks worse due to the horrible sagging, deflated skin. If looks are an issue for you in your marriage, you need to evaluate why? What is lacking? If all that is there is looks, they're going to fade, you'd better have something to talk about, and hope that the person you chose to spend your life with, will stand by you, if you become ill, there's a death, loss of job, tragedy, or otherwise. Marriage is so much more than just looks and sex.

This post is so weird.

There is nothing wrong with liking a specific body type if that's what you find attractive. There is something wrong with telling someone else they shouldn't change their body type if they want to.

If you husband wants to get fit or lose some weight, then by all means he should. Healthily. If you don't find him attractive anymore after that, then you're allowed to feel that way, but you relationship should probably be based on something more concrete than your respective weights anyway.

Just bumping for night-time confusion.