people commenting on weight loss in a negative way

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  • blabrecque_xo
    blabrecque_xo Posts: 65 Member
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    The way I see it, as long as you're losing weight in a healthy way, then it's really none of their business. Their negative comments are unnecessary. Don't let them stop you from doing what you want to do. This is to make yourself happy, not anybody else!
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
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    I ran into this issue the first time I lost weight. I say ignore them, and do what makes you happy. They will get used to your new fabulous size.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    just say thank you and move on.

    And if they are particularly offensive- just make an off comment about their clothing and then say "oh gee I thought it was give unsolicited opinions day"

    and then move on.

    Congrats on the positive steps forward- don't let that niggly stuff bother you- ti's just not worth the frustration.
  • bergpa
    bergpa Posts: 148 Member
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    The people in our lives all have roles. They all fit in because of qualities they have, or qualities they bring out in us. We all put people, consciously or otherwise, into zones and we selfishly want them to stay there. When something happens to challenge those relationships it can really unsettle people. Weight loss is a classic example of this, it doesn't have to even be the 'fat friend' thing, even if your weight has no bearing what-so-ever on your relationship with that person fat loss is a visual representation that your mindset has changed.

    People just don't like that, we never have and we never will, the stronger the reaction perhaps the more "needed" you are by others? That said this is their problem which they are vocalizing onto you, that's not right. You have enough to deal with with your own goals and progress, if your shape no longer fits their puzzle in the same way that it did it's up to them to re position you in that picture.

    There's a lot of truth in this.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
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    $%@&** off! is what I say. :laugh:
  • kcasey54
    kcasey54 Posts: 2
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    I am so sorry to hear that people are not supportive of you in this journey. For some of us, who like me are post-menopause and have put on way too much weight in the last 20 years, losing weight is not easy! We need and should ask for compassion as we determine the best way to take it off and create a new, happier self. I, for one, trumpet your strength and will to say to those folks MYOB!
  • peacefulsong
    peacefulsong Posts: 223 Member
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    Haven't read all the responses here, but I noticed that you said one of the worst offenders is your best friend, who lost a lot of weight and dealt with anorexia. I would think something like that might leave a person overly sensitive to seeing things like a dramatic weight loss in their friends. It may be coming from genuine, if misplaced, concern. Maybe the next time this person makes a comment, you could say how great you feel, how much your confidence has been boosted, etc. Make it about how fit and healthy you feel, etc. ETA You could also throw in something about how you appreciate their concern but you are being careful to lose weight in a healthy and sustainable way, and her comments are upsetting and unhelpful. You don't owe anyone any explanation, but clearing the air between friends is always a good thing, IMO.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    I'm starting to wonder whether I should keep on losing if this is just going to mean more comments from people around me.

    When I hear things like this, I always wonder if the person is looking for an excuse to quit.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    I have to say I do not get these comments that I know of. Maybe it happens behind my back.
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,068 Member
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    DO NOT let this be your excuse to stop. people will find anything to comment on, think about what they are really saying. theyre putting a negative twist to something that you want, something that millions of other people have wanted to do but gave up because it was too hard or too time consuming. and then they have the gall to try and put you down because of your success? *kitten* that. imagine the look on their face when you hit your goal weight, theyll see why you didnt stop then, and maybe theyll realize that their comments came from a place of jealousy, not one of truth
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I'm starting to wonder whether I should keep on losing if this is just going to mean more comments from people around me.

    When I hear things like this, I always wonder if the person is looking for an excuse to quit.
    I lost weight at a reasonable pace. My mom hadn't seen me in months and when she did (and I was still a good 20 pounds heavier than my smallest ever) she accused me of being "too thin" and anorexic. I just laughed at her. I'm 5'3" and was around 130 pounds.
  • CASteffes
    CASteffes Posts: 1 Member
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    Please do NOT let the negative comments of people who have NO IDEA how you're losing the weight affect you! If you are doing it right, and tracking your calories, who cares what other people say. Try to kill them with kindness if you can, and ask them if they are jealous and would like to join your exercise plan. This might catch them in their tracks.

    Otherwise, CONGRATULATIONS!! You are doing great :)
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,363 Member
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    Don't give people the opportunity to discuss your weight loss with you. Stop talking about it to them. If you do talk about it to them you are inviting them to discuss it with you and with that comes their personal opinion.
  • AnnofB
    AnnofB Posts: 3,584 Member
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    People hate change. It makes them insecure. Will you stop being their friend when you reach goal? Will you find a new husband and leave me? Will you make me look worse in family photo's cause you look so good now? You can almost see the little cogs in their head rolling around these thoughts. These same people will let you know the second you have gained 1/2 an ounce. It's THEIR problem... not yours. Do what you need to do to get healthy. That's what's matters.

    I agree with tiptoethruthe who said don't talk to people about your weight loss. Change the subject. Never tell anyone you are on a diet. That's an open invitation for them to "advise" you. If someone sees you eating a salad and says are you on a diet, just say, "I felt like having a salad today." Or if they say, you didn't eat very much. Say," I wasn't that hungry today." That keeps most of the food police off your back.

    If they persist, tell them you are within a range your doctor advices, or about to reach that range. Let "the doctor" take the heat, haha. Most people can't argue with that.

    This will pass once they get used to the knew you. So let it roll off your shoulder and stand tall and be proud of what you have accomplished. You are doing great! Just keep going. Get to your goal and show us a picture WE will know what to say! :flowerforyou:

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