My dietician keeps body shaming me :(

Gentle yoga is probably the best first step.

But, here is a good article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hunger-artist/201101/what-weight-lifting-can-do-former-anorexic

All of her articles are good and worth reading.

Another article to help people understand: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hunger-artist/201110/the-physical-effects-weight-gain-after-starvation

Ok, so first let me say Suicide is NEVER and I mean never the answer. There is no reason one should do it. I understand the feeling that all hope is lost, being miserable etc as much as the next person but there is always hope. It is just a matter of taking a step back and seeing a different perspective(either in the form of a distraction or close friend or professional). If you truly are feeling like that, speak with someone. This is not me shaming you just know that. I just have a big thing against suicide. Had friends do it plus been in really dark places in my own life.

ANyways I digress. If for any reason what so ever a health professional or a professional that is supposed to help you is making you feel ashamed, uncomfortable, telling you things that are unhealthy or wrong then you, for your own sake and health, must find a different person. To me, judging base on what you have said she sounds like an idiot and if she wont listen to you nor your doctor, change to a new one. However, from a different perspective, she may have said go ahead and eat all of the stuff you want, just because she wanted you to get in more calories. However, she messed up by not clarifying this well actually by saying it in general. Her point was, i think, to just get you to eat since she may have felt you werent gaining enough or she was concerned. Some people just suck at explaining or just let things slip. THere are many times I will be explaining something then 20 minutes later I remember i forgot to tell them something important.

What I would say to do is first, stop thinking of it as adding weight(or getting fat) because that makes it sound a bit negative to your subconscious because all we hear about as a society is that weight gain = getting fat. This is not the case though, especially for you. So rather, try to think of it as getting healthy.

Next, change Nutritionists. Ask your doctor if there is a different one. One that might be a bit more understanding of your situation. Some tend to be better at helping people maintain or lose or gain. So you might just not have the right one.

Finally, as long as you are healthy and within the recommended calories(from you physician/nutritionist) you are fine until you are at a healthy weight(or goal) Once closer to that goal, then worry about the details. Though, you dont need to calorie count necessarily either. Just set X number of meals(5+ might allow you to get more in without being really full) and portion out the food. Then each day add a bit more to that portion to help get more in.

This is a stressful period regardless. So do what you need to to eliminate other stresses that might pop up with this. If that means change, change. If that means find a therapist then do that. Just make sure you are happy with the route that is what matters.

Edit: If you need to talk when you are stressed, feel free to message me.

You're dietician may not mean to come across in a negative way like that. However, I understand how important it is to have a person you trust as a care provider. It took me a long time to find a doctor I felt comfortable with. If your dietician is not a good fit, then by all means, I would switch.

By the way, gaining 10 pounds when you are underweight is a HUGE accomplishment! So what if its all fat??? Its not like you can't excercise after the fact and regain some muscle. I think you've taken a step towards a healthier body by gaining that weight, and you should acknowledge that accomplishment and celebrate it! Its really important to stay positive and recognize your victories for what they are. Otherwise, you may get depressed, and discouraged and slide back into old habits.

I can tell this is an ED voice and it is not your fault that I react this way, but unfortunately this comment is really triggering to me . All the more reason to see that new therapist I called today. I'm waiting for her to return my call. In the meantime though, I'd like to point out that it isn't really a healthy idea in my opinion to just gain a bunch of fat and then fix it afterwards...that is like relapse or yo yo dieting to me...but I get where you're coming from. However, it is worth mentioning that my stupid dietician said "you won't gain JUST fat no matter what you eat, including cake and ice cream" so that is what I thought was true. I just trusted her and I feel so stupid it truly can't be all fat though, I mean I have a little muscle in my calves and arms.

I am VERY, VERY thankful that you contacted a therapist today. This is a even bigger step in the right direction. I won't lie, I don't have any experience with eating disorders, but I do know about addiction, and an ED is just as strong and compulsive as any addiction. You have triggers, just like many other mental illnesses, and finding the right coping skills to help you when you are triggered is crucial to recovery. I'll be glad to be of support if you need a person. I've struggled with mental illness for a great number of years, and to this day, I still have to use my coping skills when/if I am triggered. You can do this, it's not easy, but it's worth it.

I took it upon myself to grow up and get some damn help

Good for you!!!

I am seeking out a more sensitive, relaxed dietician. I am calling the new one tomorrow! She is also a therapist

Good!

I think you probably have a miscommunication issue going on with your dietician as on the face of it the advice sounds generally sensible.

No, the advice was not sensible.
Sensible, medically sound advice would have been to increase calories (gradually, so the mental problem wasn't too hard to deal with) while maintaining an overall nutritionally sound diet.
Yes, having pie & ice cream can be part of that, and I realize that when someone is almost dead from starvation it's important for them to get ANY calories, but telling her it's OK to eat just junk food isn't responsible.
I'd consider contacting the licensing board with your experiences, both with the unsound advice and the lack of respect and the way she made you feel.

If your dietician is giving you conflicting information and changing her tune every time you see her, drop her. You need reliable information that only changes when medically necessary and appropriate. (i.e., if your numbers change after blood work or if your physician makes that determination), and it doesn't appear that she's giving you that. Find someone who has experience treating people who are in recovery and is interested in working in conjunction with your physician.

Yes.

If for any reason whatsoever a health professional or a professional that is supposed to help you is making you feel ashamed, uncomfortable, telling you things that are unhealthy or wrong then you, for your own sake and health, must find a different person.

Yes.

update...GOT A NEW DIETICIAN! WHOOT WHOOT! She is actually on the NEDA and MSEDA association website...aka registered with the national eating disorders association AND works as an ED specialist AND therapist in the best hospital in the USA. Not kidding. This is the best hospital in the USA, Mass General Boston. I am THRILLED. Gonna go eat peanut butter to celebrate.

Excellent!

Also, peanut butter is the best thing ever invented ever.

update...GOT A NEW DIETICIAN! WHOOT WHOOT! She is actually on the NEDA and MSEDA association website...aka registered with the national eating disorders association AND works as an ED specialist AND therapist in the best hospital in the USA. Not kidding. This is the best hospital in the USA, Mass General Boston. I am THRILLED. Gonna go eat peanut butter to celebrate.

Yay!

Get a new nutritionist AND get a therapist ASAP. Talk wilt someone about your suicidal thoughts. Get help. You are not alone and things will get better.

Yay!!! This is WONDERFUL news! You're on the right track! Please keep us updated on how things go! So very proud of you for taking such positive steps for yourself! You're gonna do great! Best wishes with both the new therapist and nutritionist! :happy:

update...GOT A NEW DIETICIAN! WHOOT WHOOT! She is actually on the NEDA and MSEDA association website...aka registered with the national eating disorders association AND works as an ED specialist AND therapist in the best hospital in the USA. Not kidding. This is the best hospital in the USA, Mass General Boston. I am THRILLED. Gonna go eat peanut butter to celebrate.

Great news! Keep us posted (maybe on another thread). We're rooting for you!!!!

In my experience with training people wanting to gain or lose weight (usually wanting to gain muscle and lose body fat), I have witness a lot of "quackery" from dietitians ... one went so far as to tell a diabetic to eat whatever she wanted and to just let her pump do the job . . . which almost ended her life!

I would 1) seek an eating disorder counselor and 2) consider a wellness coach through IIN (Institute of Integrative Nutrition). Look IIN up on the internet and search for a wellness coach in your area... they treat the person as a whole and don't just throw a meal plan at you; OR, expect you to just figure it out on your own.

Best of luck.