Un-supportive family?

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  • MstarsElizabeth
    MstarsElizabeth Posts: 36 Member
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    He's most likely insecure. We all are with change. I wouldn't ignore it, I assume it'll just get worse. Maybe he needs some reassuring. I know, that sounds backwards, he's being the meanie and you reassure him. But lashing out or getting angry usually means there's a healthy dose of fear in there somewhere.

    On the flip side, make sure you take care of you. Don't let him sabotage your success!
  • Happy_JoJo
    Happy_JoJo Posts: 49 Member
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    My husband is supportive of me (thankfully) tho at times has no problem speaking his mind about anything. He is by far the biggest binge eater I know ....so when he is devouring 2 sleeves of Oreo cookies at one sitting, I just eat my greek yogurt or healthy pop popcorn and think to myself how much healthier I am being. I am not and will never be a nagging wife, because that's not communication its just passive aggressive. He is a big boy and can make his own decisions health wise be they good or bad. Often times his "binges" lead me to be more motivated!!!!!! Hang in there, you can do this we will be your support. Sounds like hubby is just dealing with his own insecurities around your weight loss :)
  • AndriaLL
    AndriaLL Posts: 162
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    ignore this post, wasn't what I meant to do:laugh: and I can't delete :smile:
  • AndriaLL
    AndriaLL Posts: 162
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    I bet he's the one who buys the ice cream, too? That's how it is in my family. My husband thinks the rest of the family shouldn't have to "suffer" because I (and one of my daughters) don't have self control around food. So he buys chips, ice cream, and orders pizza a lot. I buy alot of fruit and veggies and eat a frozen Weight Watchers pizza as they eat Papa John's. Our younger daughter is now starting to have a weight problem and he still insists that overeating is our issue, he's always been lean and he'll encourage her to exercise, but there's no way he'll stop buying what he likes to eat. He has agreed to hide his "goodies" at least, but doesn't always remember. Honestly, that is part of the reason I am on MFP. There is support here when there's none at home.

    Good luck to you!

    Also sending friend request...

    Personally (and please don't take this wrong) I believe in everything (mostly) in moderation. However if something is a 'trigger' food then it should be avoided until control is easier and its inconsiderate of him to consistantly bring it infront of you and your daughter who are trying hard to do things right. May also suggest that if diet isn't the total issue you and your daughter may want to have the dr do a thyroid test. My mom and I have hypothyroid which makes it significantly harder to lose weight, even with healthy diet and exercise. I wish you both good luck :)

    I actually do have an underactive thyroid...which is why I try extra hard to watch what I eat. I just recently got up to what appears to be a good dosage of levothyroxine, but I still have weight to lose. I should check on my daughter, too--she's only 9 and it seemed like it's something adults get, but that may not be true. Thanks for mentioning it!
  • polo571
    polo571 Posts: 708 Member
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    How much does your husband weigh? Dump him and add the pounds to your totals.
  • tater8589
    tater8589 Posts: 616
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    How much does your husband weigh? Dump him and add the pounds to your totals.

    Lol, thats awesome. With all that weight gone, who will keep us women warm :laugh: :blushing:
  • kerriBB37
    kerriBB37 Posts: 967 Member
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    I was once married to a guy like that BUT NOT ANYMORE!

    That is so rude. Sounds like he is jealous of what you might become. It's a recipe for disaster.
  • feetypajamas
    feetypajamas Posts: 104 Member
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    How much does your husband weigh? Dump him and add the pounds to your totals.

    Love it!!

    My husband isn't much help either.

    Hmmm... Imagine all the calories I'd burn while hauling him off, and digging a hole to bury him in.... *evil cackle*
  • rhodes2b
    rhodes2b Posts: 304 Member
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    I had this issue with my husband too. I had to lose weight for a health reason so I kept explaini.g that to him. He finally I think is getting it. But he appears to be bitter about it. You have to do what is good for you.
  • Warmbloodwear
    Warmbloodwear Posts: 387 Member
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    Punch him on the nose :devil:

    I agree!!! LMAO But, seriously I have one too who just doesn't understand and of course when he goes to lose weight its like poof!! I just want to kick him sometimes. He tells me I look fine and that its doesn't matter what do I need to look good for?? Umm hello ME!!! I want to be healthy and see the person inside me in the mirror. Cause I know that when I look in the mirror im not that person. I want it changed!!! You go girl!!!
  • Lacey9693
    Lacey9693 Posts: 35 Member
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    Sometimes I think husbands are unsupportive because you are getting thinner and he may feel a little threatend and maybe in the back of his head that you may leave him. My sister lost some weight and her husband was like this two , he didn't want her to lose any weight because he thought she was going to leave him, the problem is that he is almost 400lbs and wants to keep her fat like him. One time a guy asked him how much weight has your wife loss and he got very jealous. Just let your husband know that you are doing this for your health and your children.
  • ♥Violette♥4Ever♥
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    How much does your husband weigh? Dump him and add the pounds to your totals.

    I agree with Polo. Your husband is afriad you are going to get too much attention from other men.
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
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    Food is a very emotional thing for many people. Probably why we are all here. Maybe your husband is reacting that way because of his issue with food. Maybe he feels like you are not eating his because you're mad at him or don't like his cooking. I think if you can complimetn his cooking and just state that you want to lose weight, before he says anything he won't get so upset. You might need to have a heart to heart with him. Not around the dinner table, to see where he is coming from. Maybe he is afraid of you getting skinny.
    If he is cooking you dinner and offering you desert it shows he cares, he just may be expressing it the wrong way.
  • digby765
    digby765 Posts: 163
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    Ask him what he's scared of:blushing:
  • tater8589
    tater8589 Posts: 616
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    I bet he's the one who buys the ice cream, too? That's how it is in my family. My husband thinks the rest of the family shouldn't have to "suffer" because I (and one of my daughters) don't have self control around food. So he buys chips, ice cream, and orders pizza a lot. I buy alot of fruit and veggies and eat a frozen Weight Watchers pizza as they eat Papa John's. Our younger daughter is now starting to have a weight problem and he still insists that overeating is our issue, he's always been lean and he'll encourage her to exercise, but there's no way he'll stop buying what he likes to eat. He has agreed to hide his "goodies" at least, but doesn't always remember. Honestly, that is part of the reason I am on MFP. There is support here when there's none at home.

    Good luck to you!

    Also sending friend request...

    Personally (and please don't take this wrong) I believe in everything (mostly) in moderation. However if something is a 'trigger' food then it should be avoided until control is easier and its inconsiderate of him to consistantly bring it infront of you and your daughter who are trying hard to do things right. May also suggest that if diet isn't the total issue you and your daughter may want to have the dr do a thyroid test. My mom and I have hypothyroid which makes it significantly harder to lose weight, even with healthy diet and exercise. I wish you both good luck :)

    I actually do have an underactive thyroid...which is why I try extra hard to watch what I eat. I just recently got up to what appears to be a good dosage of levothyroxine, but I still have weight to lose. I should check on my daughter, too--she's only 9 and it seemed like it's something adults get, but that may not be true. Thanks for mentioning it!

    Hey no prob, there are a few older posts on here from people discussing it here, some people I've noticed were diagnosed when they were kids. I'm still trying to get treatment, my drs are hesitant cause I'm borderline-- they only tested me because my mom came up positive. I guess gaining 20lbs+ in one month is normal in their books (ugg, military drs. some can be so lazy)
  • bekdavis
    bekdavis Posts: 290 Member
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    it sounds like he is a bit insecure. you are taking a stand and doing something positive for yourself, and clearly he is not. What better way to make him feel better than to take your positive and direct the attention towards himself.

    .... it too would punch him! ;)
  • thomasvision
    thomasvision Posts: 129 Member
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    I know a lot of people who have dealt with this. Men and women. The problem a lot of the time is the spouce or significant other thinks once the person loses the weight they will leave them, have more options, or lose interest in them. A lot of men that start to get like this when their wives want to lose weight get insecure because they feel other men will start to look at their wife.

    IF you want the relationship to work you need to ask him DIRECTLY why does he have a problem with you losing weight. Then reassure your spouce that your new lifestyle has a place for them but they HAVE to be supportive of it. You have to be firm that the new healthy you is here to stay. Its also nice for men and women to know that once you lose all the weight your not going anywhere.

    The less servere cases I've seen is that the spouce is content with their unhealthy lifestyle and don't want you being a buzzkill on their mindless eating with no conscience. Again let them know that this is the new you and if they love you and want you to be happy they MUST support you.

    Unless your spouce or significant other is abussive,controllin, or crazy they should completely understand and be onboard after you
    have this conversation with them.

    Hope this helps!
  • superwmn
    superwmn Posts: 936
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    Tell him exactly how to love and support you and how important this is to you.

    Charmagne
  • GURLEY_GIRL3
    GURLEY_GIRL3 Posts: 359 Member
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    Punch him on the nose :devil:

    LMAO!!!

    maybe if you showed him how you have to log your food he would get a better idea? if not, throat punch....:devil:


    LOL I'm down for the throat punch idea!
    Without knowing anything about you or your relationship it's hard to say. Some guys get insecure when their wife wants to lose weight in fear that she will get more attention, or seek someone else with her hot new body. I would explain to him you're trying to lose weight. Show him the website. Explain why proper portions are good, and why ice cream isn't good :-\ Then tell him he needs to be supportive of what you're trying to accomplish. If he has a problem after that, then you need to ask him, and address it. Maybe he feels if you lose weight, he will have to do the same? Again, withouth knowing you, these are some ideas. And if there don't work....kicking him square in his @$$ is a great way to start exercising :-)
  • GURLEY_GIRL3
    GURLEY_GIRL3 Posts: 359 Member
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    I AGREE W/ THIS