Scared of going to the gym

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  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    Thanks for all the advice. I just wish it could be as easy as 'just go and do it' for me. I'm certainly not lazy or making excuses; I do cardio and bodyweight strength training at home regularly.

    When you've had remarks made about your body from such a young age, you honestly believe they're true. One of the most disgusting ones I still remember to this day was: "if I was as fat as her, I'd never go outside". So I start to believe maybe I am too fat to go outside. I may have lost a lot of weight (20lbs may not seem that much but it makes a huge difference on my small frame) but I still feel like that fat girl who doesn't deserve to do anything she enjoys. That fat girl who should just lock herself away so people don't have to see her.

    Hey I've been there. Instead of internally punishing myself, I punished the people making the statements physically. Listen, these are words and mean nothing. The damage has been done and you can either allow it to keep hurting you, or you can choose to heal.

    It is ultimately, your choice. Want to be 36 and overweight, weak, and still afraid to take control of your future, or do you want to take the plunge and do it now, to protect and invest in your future now?
  • chriscolh
    chriscolh Posts: 127 Member
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    When I first started going to the gym, I went with a friend. It made the biggest difference in the world to me. Knowing that there was someone there to turn to when I was pretty embarrassed with myself, who taught me how to do things correctly, and having someone waiting for me in my driveway in the morning kept me going. Now I feel confident enough to go on my own. I find myself reaching out to those with the "deer in the headlights" look, because I've been there. I'm still somewhat "fluffy," but I feel so much stronger now!
    If you can go with a friend, I would suggest it. Or maybe join a class, just to have a place to feel comfortable before you hit the weight floor. Or maybe get a trainer to help you a few times. That was another thing that helped me feel more comfortable. Once I knew what I was doing, and knew that I was doing it correctly, I lost a lot of fear.
    I understand the issues with being judged. But the hardest part is doing it for the first time. You've got this. Just walk in and start. You'll be amazed at how fast you will get over the fear. Good luck!
  • IllustratedxGirl
    IllustratedxGirl Posts: 240 Member
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    No one gets bullied or judged at my gym! People are focused on themselves, and I think in general, people are pretty understanding of where others are in their weight loss journey. Plus, you'll learn a lot from watching others.

    Jillian Michaels has good workout videos you can use at home. I really like Burn Fat Boost Metabolism.
  • bazarn
    bazarn Posts: 80 Member
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    Honestly, I felt the same way until I started going to the gym. Then, while I did find that yes, there were tons of people more fit than me who went to the gym, there were also tons of people my size or even much bigger (and people much, much older than me too) who went. I'd like to point out that I'm pretty sure I started out bigger than you are right now, judging from your profile picture.
    We're all trying to better ourselves. If anything, I've run into people I know or seen people repeatedly, particularly trainers/staff who work at the gym, who smile and say hi to me.
  • SmartForAGirl
    SmartForAGirl Posts: 28 Member
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    I joined a ladies only gym because I felt more comfortable with that option. I worried about looking silly in the gym but the truth is that the women there have been so encouraging and supportive. They share their tips and success stories with one another and it's inspiring. Give it a try.
  • kessler4130
    kessler4130 Posts: 150 Member
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    When I am at the gym, everyone else could be on fire and I would not notice, I am there to do what I need to do. And fact of the matter is, anyone I see there, even if they have clearly treated their body with reckless abandon, I am glad to see them there doing something to better them self. Trust me, the only people being judged, are the guys with 16" arms and 10" calves.
  • wasdaisy
    wasdaisy Posts: 6 Member
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    The gym is awesome! I liked the one at the ymca! I never felt judged just accepted.
  • fastfoodietofitcutie
    fastfoodietofitcutie Posts: 523 Member
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    I try not to take posts like this personally but I do find this a bit insulting. You are afraid to go to the gym because you are 130lbs and consider yourself so fat you are going to be made fun of? So for all of us who weigh two or three times as much as you, should we never leave the house? Maybe instead of the gym you should see a counselor to deal with your body image issues.
  • Flanda
    Flanda Posts: 4
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    Try a class! I used to be fit and strong (and a gym rat), but over the past year have gained enough weight to make me massively self-conscious. As such, I am intimidated by my gym's weight room - lots of very muscle-y "bro" type guys in there lifting very heavy amounts of weight. To ease into things, I took a Bodypump weight-training class. IT'S AMAZING. It's a great way to get into lifting, without jumping right into things. The class dynamic provides a supportive atmosphere, and it's so fast-paced there isn't time to worry about how you look. I would highly recommend something along those lines to help you learn proper form, and perhaps meet a gym buddy!

    Good luck! And CONGRATS on the weight loss!
  • wjelly
    wjelly Posts: 64 Member
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    The story of the ugly duckling springs to my mind, just imagine bumping into one of those girls 3-4 months from now after going to the gym regularly.

    They'd be

    ‘WOW is that really her!' Just do it!
  • jeanlake
    jeanlake Posts: 130 Member
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    You've been given some great advice. I agree with the posters.

    I delayed my gym experience because I thought I was too old. I discovered I really was invisible, which is good. Armed with MP3 player, water, small towel and knowledge of what I wanted to do in the gym, I slip in and out and no one cares. Just like I don't care if others slip in and out. Eventually, if you're on someone's same schedule, you'll exchange smiles. There's a brother/sisterhood in the gym. We all respect the reasons we're there. BTW -- there's only a few gorgeous people at the gym. Most everyone sweats and goes about their business, and I go to a community gym at the local college. More people get looked at for NOT wiping down their machines or for talking loudly on the phone than for any other reason.

    So good luck - get a trainer if that's important to you and get out of your own head. I'm sorry for the past and the neglect from those who took care of you, but it's time to let go of the blame game. From this point on -- it's all on you! And you'll do well.
  • rmdaly
    rmdaly Posts: 250 Member
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    Try a class! I used to be fit and strong (and a gym rat), but over the past year have gained enough weight to make me massively self-conscious. As such, I am intimidated by my gym's weight room - lots of very muscle-y "bro" type guys in there lifting very heavy amounts of weight. To ease into things, I took a Bodypump weight-training class. IT'S AMAZING. It's a great way to get into lifting, without jumping right into things. The class dynamic provides a supportive atmosphere, and it's so fast-paced there isn't time to worry about how you look. I would highly recommend something along those lines to help you learn proper form, and perhaps meet a gym buddy!

    I was going to say something like this. Join a class (pump classes are my favorite), stay in the back at first, but keep going. There will be regulars there that you can make friends with and it makes it so much easier to go. Generally aerobics rooms have lots of mirrors, but you can ease into looking at yourself and your form.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I joined a ladies only gym because I felt more comfortable with that option. I worried about looking silly in the gym but the truth is that the women there have been so encouraging and supportive. They share their tips and success stories with one another and it's inspiring. Give it a try.

    hysterically- women are way more judgey about other women at the gym- just check out the hundreds of "did you see that girl wearing the cute clothes and make up- I clearly work harder because I'm in sweats with a sloppy pony tail and I'm sweating like a pig!"

    women can be so cruel.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Dunno why but I git the feeling you are from the UK.
    You can do pretty good resistance training at home if you had to have a look at the body doctor.

    However you have recognised its a real challenge to go to a gym.
    The best advice tops ive seen so far are:

    1. Nobody is looking at you.
    2. Go with a friend.
    3. Find the right gym. That means go round several within your locality and see which ones suit you. There are some great community gyms. to and have a look round and you will find they are full of pensioners and people who couldnt care less what you look like or the weights you are lifting. Ive recently found several weaknesses in my trength training, but you have to start somewhere.
    4. Not an ideal solution but go off peak that nornmally means aboid 4-8pm and then there tend to be very few pees around.
    5. Only join a gym were they have good staff and then they can set you up with a programme and show you what machines to use. Take a pen and paper and write it down. Once you know which machines and what weight note it down and then when you get there you know which machines you need to use.
    6.Pick a weight where you can manage a set of 15 repeitions and the final few should be challenging. When they arent add a bit of weight. Keep picking the brains of the nice gym staff.

    Theres also plenty of good sites on the net which show you how to use the equipment.

    Keep focused on the importance to you and why you are doing it. These reasons are infinitely more importnat than worrying about people who will be more worried about themselves. Lots of good advice on this thread for you.
  • Leenda62
    Leenda62 Posts: 96 Member
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    FEAR has 2 ways to look at it.

    Forget everything and run
    Face everything and rise.


    That is AWESOME.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    Thanks for all the advice. I just wish it could be as easy as 'just go and do it' for me. I'm certainly not lazy or making excuses; I do cardio and bodyweight strength training at home regularly.

    When you've had remarks made about your body from such a young age, you honestly believe they're true. One of the most disgusting ones I still remember to this day was: "if I was as fat as her, I'd never go outside". So I start to believe maybe I am too fat to go outside. I may have lost a lot of weight (20lbs may not seem that much but it makes a huge difference on my small frame) but I still feel like that fat girl who doesn't deserve to do anything she enjoys. That fat girl who should just lock herself away so people don't have to see her.


    You should go BECAUSE you're scared to. You should go BECAUSE no matter what's on the scale, you're a great girl who deserves to do anything she enjoys. Taking the steps is what will change your thoughts and feelings - if you wait until you feel okay about it will never happen. It's totally normal to feel scared and anxious and nervous, just put one foot in front of the other anyway. Do it BECAUSE it will quiet down those old nasty voices.
  • EmiLouize
    EmiLouize Posts: 29
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    I try not to take posts like this personally but I do find this a bit insulting. You are afraid to go to the gym because you are 130lbs and consider yourself so fat you are going to be made fun of? So for all of us who weigh two or three times as much as you, should we never leave the house? Maybe instead of the gym you should see a counselor to deal with your body image issues.

    I wasn't trying to offend anyone or belittle anyone else's struggles. I'm sure I explained in my post that the way I feel about myself is directly related to bullying. Of course I don't think that anyone who is overweight should never leave the house; I just feel like other people think like that due to what I've experienced in the past.
  • whelwhel
    whelwhel Posts: 4
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    BODY WEIGHT EXERCISES! :)
    CALISTHENICS

    Search YouTube for workout videos.
    I like AthleanX. You don't have weights, but he gives lots of good info.
  • azamlynn2000
    azamlynn2000 Posts: 24 Member
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    Maybe check P90X3 , and also look at the results people have gotten on youtube. It is an At-home workout that incorporates weights and cardio
  • raysputin
    raysputin Posts: 142 Member
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    The mirrors in the gym are not there for you to look at your body but to enable you to check that you are doing the exercises in the right way (good form). Don't look at your body per se - look at your limbs, your back, your posture. Are your elbows high enough, is your back in its natural curve, is your head back?

    The other people there are not interested in looking at you, they have their own selves to deal with.

    If you go to the gym with a pleasant personality and a ready smile, you will find out just how nice and helpful people can be.

    But most importantly; don't let the bullies win! If you don't go to the gym, the ba****rds have won. Get your head up, your feet into gear, march into that gym and show the world that you are not a victim but a strong, empowered woman who knows what she wants and how to go and get it!

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