A girl on my team called me fat...

bluecat145
bluecat145 Posts: 144 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm on a volleyball team. We were spiking today (I'm a setter, this is my weak spot). After my third time not making it over, I overheard an offhand comment about being fat. Am I?
I've been rather upbeat recently. Her comment crushed me. I'm 19, weigh 110lbs with measurements of 32-26-34 at 5'4. I used to be 140ish. I know I've got to tone, but do you think I'm big? I've got pictures on my profile.
I'm not the biggest on the team, but not the smallest. Almost everyone on the team wears a size 1 or 0. The best spiker is a 00.
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Replies

  • Smatiak
    Smatiak Posts: 14 Member
    Not at all. Your BMI is perfect, if not a little under. Sometimes girls at that age are jealous and will say hurtful things that are not even true. Don't listen to them at all :) Keep doing your thing, you look gr8!
  • missdibs1
    missdibs1 Posts: 1,092 Member
    Don't ever let someone else make you feel bad. Bleep her. She's a you know what. Chin up and play on!!!
  • shellypaints
    shellypaints Posts: 49 Member
    I'm on a volleyball team. We were spiking today (I'm a setter, this is my weak spot). After my third time not making it over, I overheard an offhand comment about being fat. Am I?
    I've been rather upbeat recently. Her comment crushed me. I'm 19, weigh 110lbs with measurements of 32-26-34 at 5'4. I used to be 140ish. I know I've got to tone, but do you think I'm big? I've got pictures on my profile.
    I'm not the biggest on the team, but not the smallest. Almost everyone on the team wears a size 1 or 0. The best spiker is a 00.

    You're not fat and don't let that jealous twit have any power over you. Hold your head high and ignore her - she's not much of a team mate. Being toned or not has nothing to do with being fat. Your weight and measurements are great.

    When I was your age I weighed 115lbs and I am 5'2" and I was called fat as well. I recently found some pictures of me at that age and my daughter exclaimed at how tiny I was. I didn't think so at the time that I was tiny, but looking at that picture of myself 30 years ago I realize that I let others define me and how I saw myself. Don't give others the power to define you only you can define you.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Are you fat at 5'4" and 110 lbs? No. Do you need to work on your muscle to body fat ratio and gain strength to excel at your sport? Possibly. Do some strength training and you'll see the changes you want.

    As for your teammate, if it really bothers you, confront her or talk to your coach about it. That kind of mentality and behavior isn't good for the team. And remember that size has nothing to do with athletic ability and skill. So what if the best spiker is a size 00? If she takes a volleyball to the face from an opposing spiker who is a size 8, is the size of her uniform going to make her nose bleed any less?
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    Jesus, girls are terrible. This might be why I tend to get along a bit better with guys.

    No, you're not fat. You may have a higher body fat % than some of them, or you may even have a lower or equal %. At 5'4, you'd probably even do very well with an added 10lbs on you.

    I am surprised that everyone on your team is so tiny, unless they are also pretty short. Or just have absolutely no muscle on them. It's like other women my height being 130lbs at a veyr low body fat... My goal is 160, which will hopefully put me at around 130lbs of lean body mass. Muscle and strength is very important to me though, I will never be a size 0 because I'd rather be very muscular, which I'm fine with.
  • dashxox
    dashxox Posts: 11 Member
    She's pathetic. She's only saying it because to her thats the most offensive comment she can make which is ultimately only a reflection of her own insecurities. Your weight is fine, she's the pig.
  • farmerpam1
    farmerpam1 Posts: 402 Member
    She's pathetic. She's only saying it because to her thats the most offensive comment she can make which is ultimately only a reflection of her own insecurities. Your weight is fine, she's the pig.


    ^^^^^This. Some people are just mean, be glad you're not one of 'em.:flowerforyou:
  • vhuber
    vhuber Posts: 8,779 Member
    Repeat as to the poster above!!
  • scorpiophoenix
    scorpiophoenix Posts: 222 Member
    So what if the best spiker is a size 00? If she takes a volleyball to the face from an opposing spiker who is a size 8, is the size of her uniform going to make her nose bleed any less?

    QFT When I was in HS most of the girls on our volleyball team were HUGE! Like, tall and broad. Not fat, but by no means skinny, and they almost went to state, so... being a skinny volleyball player is irrelevant. As long as you can play your position, who cares?
  • hearthwood
    hearthwood Posts: 794 Member
    More than likely a little jealous of you.
  • zamphir66
    zamphir66 Posts: 582 Member

    QFT When I was in HS most of the girls on our volleyball team were HUGE! Like, tall and broad. Not fat, but by no means skinny, and they almost went to state, so... being a skinny volleyball player is irrelevant. As long as you can play your position, who cares?

    That's what I was thinking. I ... um ... watch a lot of women's volleyball, and these are <i>atheletes</i> in every sense of the word. I can't see how being fashion model skinny is a competitive advantage at all.

    [so, no html... how do we do italics and such?]
  • CariJean64
    CariJean64 Posts: 297 Member


    That's what I was thinking. I ... um ... watch a lot of women's volleyball, and these are athletes in every sense of the word. I can't see how being fashion model skinny is a competitive advantage at all.

    [so, no html... how do we do italics and such?]

    With brackets.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member

    QFT When I was in HS most of the girls on our volleyball team were HUGE! Like, tall and broad. Not fat, but by no means skinny, and they almost went to state, so... being a skinny volleyball player is irrelevant. As long as you can play your position, who cares?

    That's what I was thinking. I ... um ... watch a lot of women's volleyball, and these are <i>atheletes</i> in every sense of the word. I can't see how being fashion model skinny is a competitive advantage at all.

    [so, no html... how do we do italics and such?]

    Assuming BB coding. Let's see....

    I am italicizing.

    if it works: [ i ] words [ / i ]
  • zamphir66
    zamphir66 Posts: 582 Member
    Don't listen to your "teammate" is the moral of the story.
  • stephanieluvspb
    stephanieluvspb Posts: 997 Member
    I can promise you that there will always be someone you know who enjoys putting others down to make themself feel better bc they are insecure. It sucks, I know, but keep your head up and don't let it get you down. Remember, your the only one who can allow somebody to make you feel inferior
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    You are NOT fat! She's a horrible immature and mean little girl who isn't a very good team player. You keep your chin up honey and keep doing your best.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    Girls say these things to each other because they know it works.

    Trust me, you're not fat.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Jesus, girls are f*cking terrible. This might be why I tend to get along a bit better with guys...


    I guess that depends on the kind of people you're hanging around. My experience has not been the same. I tend to gravitate towards positive, confident people, so I've known tons of really awesome girls and women in my lifetime. Sure, I've met some nasty females as well, but there's no shortage of jerks among BOTH genders. Yours is a sad point of view. :cry:
  • Missfit35
    Missfit35 Posts: 75
    You are perfectly built! Never allow anyone to make you feel any less. Here's what you do for the next few weeks you buy small pieces of chocolates and tasty treats and you bring them to this gal. Be extremely sweet and obnoxiously nice as if she's your bestie let her eat all of these yummy treats and pack on a few pounds. I would not normally give this sort of advice but this subject really hits a nerve with me. Kids these day's are MEAN.. Keep your head up kiddo and good luck with the volleyball!
  • lishie_rebooted
    lishie_rebooted Posts: 2,973 Member
    You seem to have body issues

    This is the 3rd post I've seen by you touting your weight, height, and measurements and asking if youre fat or some variation of that.

    Stop seeking validation from others and learn to love yourself
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  • jrodri0105
    jrodri0105 Posts: 91 Member
    You seem to have body issues

    This is the 3rd post I've seen by you touting your weight, height, and measurements and asking if youre fat or some variation of that.

    Stop seeking validation from others and learn to love yourself

    agreed
  • Brandolin11
    Brandolin11 Posts: 492 Member
    ....do you think I'm big?...

    What do YOU think? That's the important question.

    If *you* didn't already think you were fat, at least to a certain extent, you wouldn't even be asking this question.

    If you had a correct image of yourself, you would already *know* that you're not fat. You would've told that girl to suck eggs, if only in your mind. Instead, now you're worried about it.

    I would work on that worry instead of dwelling on what another girl said about you (out of anger and rudeness, as others here have said). Because that will fester and it won't take a jerk like that girl to make you feel bad about yourself. You'll be doing it on your own. Just a suggestion.
  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
    Ignore that crap. Some people always have something negative to say about someone else. Love yourself. That's what matters.
  • nicsflyingcircus
    nicsflyingcircus Posts: 2,855 Member
    So what if the best spiker is a size 00? If she takes a volleyball to the face from an opposing spiker who is a size 8, is the size of her uniform going to make her nose bleed any less?

    QFT When I was in HS most of the girls on our volleyball team were HUGE! Like, tall and broad. Not fat, but by no means skinny, and they almost went to state, so... being a skinny volleyball player is irrelevant. As long as you can play your position, who cares?

    My 14yo daughter is 5'9 and 1/2" tall and weighs somwhere around 125. She plays JV volleyball (outside hitter) and could stand to put on muscle. Most of the varsity girls are definitely not what I'd term overly thin, more strong and athletic.

    Ignore her.
  • Mygsds
    Mygsds Posts: 1,564 Member
    Jealousy can do horrible things to people. Don't give her a second more of your time... You look perfect... You could always spike it off her head..... Lol
  • logg1e
    logg1e Posts: 1,208 Member
    I am constantly surprised at the underlying sexist tone of these forums. I don't know any other forums like it. If the people involved are 19, they are are women, not girls. Try to be aware how often people use "girls" rather than women and think why that might be.

    Comments such as "women can be such *****es" - substitute in "black" or "gay" and see if you still think such sweeping statements are ok.
  • spectralmoon
    spectralmoon Posts: 1,179 Member
    I am constantly surprised at the underlying sexist tone of these forums. I don't know any other forums like it. If the people involved are 19, they are are women, not girls. Try to be aware how often people use "girls" rather than women and think why that might be.

    Off topic, and I wasn't the one being called out, but I grew up relating "girls to women" in the same sense of "miss to ma'am." I hear "girls" used a lot more in SoCal, and out of the mouths of females. Sometimes it's just a mental age thing... doesn't always have to be oppressive.


    Back to the original post.

    It smells of wanting validation, but if this really did happen... if you know that you are healthy and of a healthy size, don't sweat what some butthurt player says in a moment of frustration.
  • pabstvortex
    pabstvortex Posts: 6 Member
    Maybe you misheard her. It seems really unlikely that anyone would call a woman your size fat. It just wouldn't make sense. You are thin, which is probably your aesthetic preference, and apparently athletic (seeing as you play volleyball), so you ought to feel great about your body.
  • Stella_Mayfair
    Stella_Mayfair Posts: 226 Member
    people are cruel hun. They will accuse you of being something you are not and than laugh harder when you believe it. It is a proven study the more you hear things that aren't true the more you will believe it. Messed up right?

    Plus for that chick, it is a easy, pathetic way to make herself feel superior.

    You are not fat. And by her call you this she will not be any thinner

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