Partner struggles to gain weight

jimmmer · August 2014

my son eats like a pig but cant gain an once . so not always that they are not eating enough .

He's probably young and active. That means his metabolism is probably going a hundred miles an hour. It just means that his TDEE is higher and consequently he needs to eat an inordinate amount of food to gain weight.

Again, it's not magic. You body requires so much energy to run based on a whole host of factors including, genetics, gender, age, current activity level, muscle mass, etc. Eat more than this amount you gain weight. Eat less: you lose. Eat the same: you stay the same.

myrtille87 · August 2014

Hey!

So I've tried researching a bit, but thought I'd ask here as well.

My partner is:
- 27 years old
- 8 st 7 lbs (roughly, maybe little less) (121 lbs)
- 5 ft 7 in (173 cm)

He's been to see the doctor a few times, and they referred him to a nutritionist - who wasn't all that helpful - they only tip that he came away with was to 'eat more pulses'. Which is kind of difficult to keep up with, especially when they give me a bad stomach so its difficult to eat separate meals. We were hoping he'd come away from the nutritionist with some kind of meal plan but to no avail.

He occasionally buys 9bars (bars that have around 1000kcal) - which are really handy because it's easier and convenient for him to eat, but they are quite costly.

We're considering buying some nuts in bulk when we can afford it so he can snack on them throughout the day.
We have decided he will switch to full fat milk and butter, but we aren't really sure where else to go from here.

The problem we face is that I'm a bit overweight and he is underweight - so when meal times comes...it's pretty difficult to attend to our problems.

This sounds very familiar! I'm slightly overweight and trying to lose weight, my partner is just under 10 stone but he's 6 foot 2!

He doesn't struggle to eat a basic, normal amount of food (eg: cereal for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch, some kind of snack in the afternoon, a normal dinner in the evening) but if I give him larger portions he ends up leaving some (despite the fact that for me, those would be normal portions if I wasn't trying to lose weight!). He just always opts for small portion sizes - I bought chocolate milk as that's fattening, but he has a tiny glass of about 150ml when I'd happily drink twice as much.

He's also quite active because he likes to go for walks and sometimes cycles to work too. And he doesn't like some fatty foods like cheese or avocados.

I shall continue reading this thread with interest for more ideas!

RachelaT90 · August 2014

Hey, my husband and I had/have a similar situation of opposite problems- I want to lose weight and gain it easily- he wants to put on weight but finds it quite hard. He did eat a lot- half a big pizza as a snack before dinner, huge portions etc but his family is just very slim and finds it hard to gain weight.

It took me a long time to accept we had to eat separate meals, annoying but it works. Sometimes we eat the same thing but with alterations e.g. I won't have sauce and we will add extra food to his meal.

Also does your boyfriend go to the gym? One thing that helped my OH was lifting weights and drinking protein shakes afterwards. It took time but he is slowly gaining weight and is so much healthier.

Sorry I can't give advice on which foods are good as this is something we need to learn more about!

MinimalistShoeAddict · August 2014

Honestly, I think you should let him deal with it on his own.

If he truly wants to gain weight, he will by increasing intake. What he eats is less important than how much (in terms of gaining weight).

Absent any medical need/eating disorder I don't think "helping him" will be good for your relationship. He needs to do it on is own. Yes he is very thin, but at a BMI of 18.9 his weight is still technically in the healthy range:
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm

Many guys that thin already get teased about their weight. Having his girlfriend trying to help him gain weight is probably not going to make him feel better.

If you really think he wants advice, tell him about MFP and let him open an account.

fsfooty2 · August 2014

lol, the same as me

this is a typical ectomorph scenario

you gotta do 2 things:
eat more- protein in the morning is important( i read he doesn't eat in the morning, really bad) i usually make an oatmeal shake with whey protein and milk as soon as i wake up. also focus more on carbs and less on fat, so more bread, rice pasta, cake, throughout the day

perfect ratio should be 4Carbs:1.3 protein:0.7fat its healthy

excercise- there will be no point in eating all the protein and not excercising, i don't mean running and cardio. Crunches and pushups and start with smaller weights

if you are worried he will get buff, well he won't. thats the good the good thing about ectomorphs, always stay lean and slim

important to stay consistent and you will see slow changes

RodaRose · August 2014

Hey!

So I've tried researching a bit, but thought I'd ask here as well.

My partner is:
- 27 years old
- 8 st 7 lbs (roughly, maybe little less) (121 lbs)
- 5 ft 7 in (173 cm)

He's been to see the doctor a few times, and they referred him to a nutritionist - who wasn't all that helpful - they only tip that he came away with was to 'eat more pulses'. Which is kind of difficult to keep up with, especially when they give me a bad stomach so its difficult to eat separate meals. We were hoping he'd come away from the nutritionist with some kind of meal plan but to no avail.

He occasionally buys 9bars (bars that have around 1000kcal) - which are really handy because it's easier and convenient for him to eat, but they are quite costly.

We're considering buying some nuts in bulk when we can afford it so he can snack on them throughout the day.
We have decided he will switch to full fat milk and butter, but we aren't really sure where else to go from here.

The problem we face is that I'm a bit overweight and he is underweight - so when meal times comes...it's pretty difficult to attend to our problems.

He struggles to eat breakfast, he usually feels a bit ill or not hungry in the mornings. He has tried some breakfast shakes, but again, they are costly.

We're both really worried about him because his head looks quite a lot bigger in comparison to the rest of his body, and it's making him self-concious about it.

I guess what I'm wondering is if anyone has any tips, as yes, he can be lazy with food so anything that requires preparation or 'effort' he will just not stick to, so needs to be things that are easily incorporated into his lifestyle as well as not too costly.

I am also a little lost with protein powders/shakes, seems they require exercise too? Or could he just drink them without having to weight train as he doesn't really want to do that.

Thanks in advance

Sorry to ask this. Did the doctors check to see if he has Diabetes 1?
Did they check for anything else beyond basic stuff?

The guy does not have to eat breakfast to gain weight. If someone made me eat breakfast I would have to kill them -- that is how much I hate breakfast.
By any chance can he eat ice cream and can you manage to stay away from it if it is in your house?
Feed him a gallon of ice cream a day. There you go. Ice cream has lots of carbs and fats.

Other foods to keep around that he can eat on his own by keeping available: cooked rice, pasta, potatoes, and honey, jam, bread, mayo, cheese, butter.
One package of Ramen noodles has 388 calories and you can make big pots with several packages.

Hell_Flower · August 2014

You split your meals 50/50?

Just dish up 1/4 for you and 3/4 for him.

Peanut butter, oil and cream based sauces, stuff like that if he has a difficult time with large volumes of food.

He has to want to eat it though.

Making a mass gaining shake can be an easy way to get calories: protein powder, peanut butter, banana, whole milk - blend it, drink it.

Also drink whole milk through the day. Easy calories.

All of this.

My husband is the same - apart from he loves food, but his metabolism is crazy fast and he has to eat around 3500 cals a day to maintain.

So I cook in bulk and I'll have one portion and he can go back for 3rd or 4th helpings. Usually things that we can serve with rice, noodles or potatoes and bulk out with tomatoes and mushrooms. So for me, a portion is around 400calories, but if he eats 3 portions its right up to 1200. Usually curries, stews, pastas, cottage pie etc.

Just eat more of everything! Pies, pastys, whole milk, stuffed pasta.... sounds like you're in the UK, so I heartily recommend Asda for buying things on the cheap.

Greyeer · September 2014

My husband has struggled his whole life to put on weight and has had to put up with so many people telling him he is too skinny and has to eat more. (Small rant: If it's considered rude to tell a heavy person they are fat and need to eat less why is it ok to do the same thing to underweight people?!) He has a very physical job, trains taekwondo 2 nights a week and is gluten intolerant so if he isn't careful it's very easy for him to fall into a diet that is too low carb or not enough calories.

Recently, he has managed to go up from 60kgs to 65kgs, though it has been a torturous process. One of the things that he found really helped is a high calorie breakfast of 200mls full fat greek yogurt with 50mls whipping cream, 1 scoop gainer powder, 1tbsp shredded, dried coconut, 1tbsp pumpkin seeds, 1 tbsp raisins and a little drizzle of honey. He has this every day without fail.

His typical packed lunch is a sauce of bacon, mushrooms, onions, chicken stock, herbs and spices and finished with whipping cream, which he has over rice noodles.

For dinner he eats whatever the rest of us is eating, just a much larger portion. In the evenings he will have a little bowl of plain tortilla chips with tzatziki or a shake of gainer powder and full milk.

One thing we have learned is that it is a long, slow process for him, and often it requires far more effort than he wants to put in, but taekwondo is important to him and he knows if he wants to carry on he has to make sure he is eating enough to survive each session!

Partner struggles to gain weight

Replies

Categories