Can we talk about S-E-X? eek!

You're over-thinking this. If you go into it enthusiastically, confidently, and possibly creatively your husband is going to think only one thing: Yippeee, I get sex!

This.

Though I'll admit I have had similar feelings myself. Just try to let it go.
Plus, you're on MFP, so you're already taking a step to make a positive change.
You got this, girl! Head up!

I realize this isn't a popular opinion, but someone has to be honest ...

You're over-thinking this. If you go into it enthusiastically, confidently, and possibly creatively your husband is going to think only one thing: Yippeee, I get sex!

I wouldn't. Sex is easy. It can be had at any time with any number of different partners. Not all men are dying to have sex with anyone at any time. Some of us choose our partners based on a number of (potentially stringent) criteria, including fitness.

Personally, I have no interest in having sex with someone overweight, whether she's my wife or not. I'm a fit guy. I date fit women because I respect fit women, and like having sex with fit women.

Similarly, I wouldn't expect my gf to want to have sex with me if I became overweight. I owe it to her to be as desirable as I can be, and to remain as close to the person I was when she started dating me as possible.

There are times when slippage is forgivable: preganancy, sickness, accidents. "I chose nightly pizza instead of remaining desirable to you" is not one of those times.

You're right, but I was assuming that as her husband, he is faithful. If he's not he isn't worth her bother anyway, though of course it's never that simple. I'm not saying however that spouses should let themselves go to wreck and ruin. It's better not to test the outer boundaries, but anyone asking this question on MFP is already dialed into that aspect.

Edit: And I can't think of a faster way to drive a man into the arms of another woman than to be reluctant about sexy time due to weight or anything else!

I realize this isn't a popular opinion, but someone has to be honest ...

You're over-thinking this. If you go into it enthusiastically, confidently, and possibly creatively your husband is going to think only one thing: Yippeee, I get sex!

I wouldn't. Sex is easy. It can be had at any time with any number of different partners. Not all men are dying to have sex with anyone at any time. Some of us choose our partners based on a number of (potentially stringent) criteria, including fitness.

Personally, I have no interest in having sex with someone overweight, whether she's my wife or not. I'm a fit guy. I date fit women because I respect fit women, and like having sex with fit women.

Similarly, I wouldn't expect my gf to want to have sex with me if I became overweight. I owe it to her to be as desirable as I can be, and to remain as close to the person I was when she started dating me as possible.

There are times when slippage is forgivable: preganancy, sickness, accidents. "I chose nightly pizza instead of remaining desirable to you" is not one of those times.

Can I make a suggestion to you. Don't ever get married. There's this part in those vows that you take "For better or for worse", and honestly, if you're going to base a relationship on something *that* shallow, you're not really going to have anything for very long, anyway. There are very few who are fortunate to be drop dead gorgeous until they're in their golden years, and you'd sure better hope you've got something to talk about when Mr. Happy can't get happy anymore. God forbid one of you has a terrible accident or injury where you're unable to walk, or exercise, and the other has to step up and become a strong supporter, possibly a care giver. "For better or worse", it means something, you're in it for the long haul, not just for desirability, but because you love the person, regardless.

^ 100% Agree. She gets it.

If he's still wanting sex why aren't you? What more can you do to make yourself feel attractive that you aren't already? I mean if he wants you jump on that! Figuratively and literally. Lol. Put on some sexy music, pamper yourself, and spend a day just to remember how sexy you are simply by being a woman!

I've had problems 'getting in the mood', for various reasons over the past year, that I am only just getting over. I'm realising that the mood comes from ME. I can't sit around waiting for something to put me in the mood - I'd be waiting forever. You are in charge of how horny you are gonna get that day. Take your husband's word for it that he still wants to have sex with you, and jump him!

You can work around your body stuff - turn off the lights, make out under the covers, etc., especially if you know it's only temporary (we're all on this site for a reason after all). The important thing, like your fitness plan, is to set a goal, and figure out what's gonna get you there! Get your hubby involved with flirting or dirty talk, or get yourself revved up by reading erotica, focus on the pleasure instead of on negative thoughts about yourself.

I know it can be done - I am living proof. Good luck!

I have to be honest and yeah call me a jerk i don't care but i do see woman who are very very pretty but if they did lose weight they would be hot! I even mentioned couple of time to my hubby like wow she would be cute if she lost that weight.
Mine isn't in shape but mine is like yours like he loves me but its still not the same as when your at your best. AND you should strive for your best. I am struggling b/c my back was unaligned and went out so i have been away from working out and vaca got me idk even since i haven't been checking the scale but i am feeling better and going to go back to my routine as hard as it will be..we went to smokey bones today and had a 1000 calorie burger- I NEVER eat their burgers -NEVER. Now I can't say that lol but we got to take care of ourselves because no one will love our bodies as much as we should on our own. to looks kinny and sexy yea those are major perks but do it to not get diabetes. Do it so you don't get clogged arteries, do it for the energy, for the ability to love stairs, for the feeling of power and strength you get because you can kick *kitten* now that you busted out 3 sets of pushups under 3 minutes do it for the oh yea…etc and etc:) I am not trying to be mean and OP i know you know what i mean but i support your goals to get back on the right track

Nope I say that all the time too.... "If he/she was to lose all that weight they would be smokin'!" If my friend and I put a dollar a side for each time we said that we would be rich lmao.

Lol I got to say this is making me feel especially not shallow today!

I have a strong sex drive LOL I remember when I was sporting muffin tops at your weight what is it like 160? yep if I wanted it I would get it but my drive wasn't as big though because i was the one asking for it and if i didn't then it would be like once month and thats it and I didn't feel as sexy sometimes either so i didn't ask and just waited for him…. and I do agree with the bees knees it is for the long haul but he didn't have to sound like that i guess….i would give him the benefit of the doubt because my uncle was like that but i mean it can't be for shallow reasons. T o want someone fit it would have to be to stay alive longer and live a better quality life and not waste money seeing a doctor for something that health could have prevented….granted though if your family has cancer or certain sicknesses then working out won't prevent it 100% BUT it can def help in keeping it at bay (sometimes) so yeah their are shallow people out there but they know what they want and they aren't dumb. to want to stay fit is a very good thing and america needs to wake up….to be brutally honest..fit people will become the minorities if not already-thats a scary statistic if you think about it

Loving somebody and being sexually attracted to them is two very different things. I've been with my husband for 17 years. I love him and he loves me. But that doesn't mean we will always be sexually attracted to each other, especially if we were to really pack on the pounds. I have had 3 children and each time have had weight to lose after their birth. My husband loves me and supports me, but I would never expect him to be sexually attracted to me if I let myself go.

I realize this isn't a popular opinion, but someone has to be honest ...

You're over-thinking this. If you go into it enthusiastically, confidently, and possibly creatively your husband is going to think only one thing: Yippeee, I get sex!

I wouldn't. Sex is easy. It can be had at any time with any number of different partners. Not all men are dying to have sex with anyone at any time. Some of us choose our partners based on a number of (potentially stringent) criteria, including fitness.

Personally, I have no interest in having sex with someone overweight, whether she's my wife or not. I'm a fit guy. I date fit women because I respect fit women, and like having sex with fit women.

Similarly, I wouldn't expect my gf to want to have sex with me if I became overweight. I owe it to her to be as desirable as I can be, and to remain as close to the person I was when she started dating me as possible.

There are times when slippage is forgivable: preganancy, sickness, accidents. "I chose nightly pizza instead of remaining desirable to you" is not one of those times.

Can I make a suggestion to you. Don't ever get married. There's this part in those vows that you take "For better or for worse", and honestly, if you're going to base a relationship on something *that* shallow, you're not really going to have anything for very long, anyway. There are very few who are fortunate to be drop dead gorgeous until they're in their golden years, and you'd sure better hope you've got something to talk about when Mr. Happy can't get happy anymore. God forbid one of you has a terrible accident or injury where you're unable to walk, or exercise, and the other has to step up and become a strong supporter, possibly a care giver. "For better or worse", it means something, you're in it for the long haul, not just for desirability, but because you love the person, regardless.

Men like curves and something they can hold onto not bones. The sexiest females ever are the old style pinup girls from the fifties and sixties and all of them were curvy and around your size. Your size by the way is average. So the point is, its you that needs to fight your inner demons telling youself you are unattractive. Work on your body confidence issues by pointing out at least ten things each day that you like about yourself... keep trying to up that number as the days and weeks/months go by. Pretty soon you will start to see what he sees in you and more. For now when you feel bad about being slightly overweight just say "I am working on it" then shrug it off and move on with your day. I will tell you this, there is no better and freeing feeling than letting go of the self hate and criticism and replacing it with self love and praise. You will see I am right. Stay positive, all woman are beautiful.. I just wish it didn't take me 37 years to find this out but at least I know it now. Soon you will too. Love yourself sweety,. At the end of the day the only person you need to worry about impressing is that one in the mirror. :flowerforyou:

edit: can I suggest getting some sexy outfits to wear with high heels? my hubby always insists I wear these for him lately and you and I are about the same size. THey have the most rocking clothes at the adult store. Plus mood lighting/candles helps a lot to make you feel not so in the light and all exposed. Also when doing the loving part.. focus on him and don't be looking at your body flaws.. it only ruins your mood more Sorry tmi and all but I am married woman too and these things help us out.

Sexy is a state of mind. If you spend too long overthinking it you will miss out of some mind blowingly awesome sex.

Another reason, other than the more obvious ones, to have sex with your husband, is the calorie burn.

Is it possible that your hormones are out of whack or that you have some extra stress??? Both of these can have an affect on weight and sex drive. If?? you and your husband are in love and the best of friends why not talk to him about it??? Confidence is sexy!!!! Chances are that he loves you for the person that you are. BUT!!! In my opinion..... sounds to me that you are the one not happy with yourself....so do what you have to make it happen. You said your husband is a fit guy...maybe yall could exercise together.