WWYD if your kid didn't want to go

to a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese? It's in a couple of hours so I need to make a decision.

Half of me wants to jump for joy at avoiding the party.

The other half feels obligated to be there and thinks he'd have a great time once we get there anyway.

My son is 4. The little birthday girl is turning 4. They have been best buds in daycare for years. I have no idea why he doesn't want to go. The girl's mom and I are friendly but not close friends. He was the first kid she invited. I told her we were going to go.

I've never even been to a Chuck E Cheese but I've heard they are loud and annoying (well duh, full of screaming kids lol)

So...to go or not to go?
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Replies

  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member
    I don't have any kids, but I know, if my kid said they didn't want to go, and you don't feel comfortable/up to it, then don't go. You don't even really need a reason to give the Girls mom.
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  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,741 Member
    You don't know why he doesn't want to go? Really?
  • Jenni129
    Jenni129 Posts: 692 Member
    I wouldn't make my kid go. Age 4 sounds a little young to get the full experience at Chuck E Cheese's anyway. There will be more opportunities. If the other mom has a cow about it, just say you got sick right before the party. Give them the present later.
  • emilyisbonkers
    emilyisbonkers Posts: 373 Member
    I'd get him to go. otherwise he will think he can get every demand he makes, and you already said you will go. Need to stick to commitments!
  • breesie11
    breesie11 Posts: 3,478 Member
    If I tell someone I will be there, I go even if I don't feel like it when the time comes. I may not stay as long as I would have if I felt like going, but I would at least show up.
  • Oi_Sunshine
    Oi_Sunshine Posts: 819 Member
    You can tell him you need to go to drop off the gift and say happy birthday. If he wants to stay, great. But if he kicks up a fuss then you have a good reason to leave. Birthdays tend to be a couple hours long and you can always go home early if need be.
  • wibutterflymagic
    wibutterflymagic Posts: 788 Member
    Find out why he doesn't want to go and if you think it's reasonable don't go. I wouldn't force my child to do something if he doesn't truly want to do something. You don't want him to be cranky and irritated and creating a difficult time at the party. He's four....making him go when he doesn't want to won't end well. He's not old enough to understand the whole....I made a commitment thing.....all he's going to know is that he doesn't want to be there and he'll have a fit. And again, he's four....not a big deal....it's a birthday party, not the end of the world if you don't go. If you don't go then tell the mother that he was in a bad mood and you didn't want to spoil the party......it's the truth.
  • amy_lynn_522
    amy_lynn_522 Posts: 55 Member
    You can tell him you need to go to drop off the gift and say happy birthday. If he wants to stay, great.

    Agree totally. Plus you need to teach kids that they can't just back out of commitments because you don't feel like doing it anymore..
  • PMA140
    PMA140 Posts: 60
    Interesting responses.

    I laughed out loud at the comment about making him go when he doesn't want to won't end well and he'll have a fit.

    That is simply not an option, I don't allow that behavior at any time for any reason. I am the parent and he will be well behaved in any situation whether he is excited to be there or not.

    And I agree with the advice that this is a teaching moment. We committed to attending the party and it is now an obligation.
    As an adult he will be faced with that situation a lot and will need to know how to handle it.
    Looks like I was the one looking for a way out. Shame on me for almost messing up a teaching by example moment.

    We are going.

    Have a great day all. :flowerforyou:

    And as far as him not wanting to go, I've been asking him all week. I haven't gotten a real response from him. He is sometimes unsure of new situations though he has been to Chuck E Cheese before. He knows all of the kids who will be there and plays with them at school every day. Since he hasn't given me a real reason, I suspect he will have a good time once he gets there.
  • PMA140
    PMA140 Posts: 60
    Oh, and "tell the mother he was in a bad mood" lol. Also, not acceptable.

    ETA: I follow this line of thinking if he was a baby and maybe not feeling well. My son is old enough to control his behavior.

    I wonder from some of these responses if it's been quite a while since you had a 4 year old. I say that because he is plenty old enough to behave and not throw tantrums.
  • _SantaClause
    _SantaClause Posts: 335 Member
    YAY for making your 4 year old do things he doesn't want to do/feels uncomfortable doing....
  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member
    Cooties. :laugh:
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,209 Member
    Sounds more like you want to go, not the kid.
    I personally hate Chuck E. Cheesy so if my kid didn't wanna go I'd be jumping for joy.
  • 00Allie00
    00Allie00 Posts: 243 Member
    As an adult, I have the ability to choose if I want to go to a function or party that I don't want to go to. Why force a kid to do something that they don't want to endure, because of some nebulous feeling of obligation. He can visit her at a later time and give her a birthday gift.

    Besides, Chuck E Cheese is like one of the nether regions of hell. The kid has good taste.
  • Fsunami
    Fsunami Posts: 241 Member
    Interesting responses.

    I laughed out loud at the comment about making him go when he doesn't want to won't end well and he'll have a fit.

    That is simply not an option, I don't allow that behavior at any time for any reason. I am the parent and he will be well behaved in any situation whether he is excited to be there or not.

    And I agree with the advice that this is a teaching moment. We committed to attending the party and it is now an obligation.
    As an adult he will be faced with that situation a lot and will need to know how to handle it.
    Looks like I was the one looking for a way out. Shame on me for almost messing up a teaching by example moment.

    We are going.

    Have a great day all. :flowerforyou:

    And as far as him not wanting to go, I've been asking him all week. I haven't gotten a real response from him. He is sometimes unsure of new situations though he has been to Chuck E Cheese before. He knows all of the kids who will be there and plays with them at school every day. Since he hasn't given me a real reason, I suspect he will have a good time once he gets there.

    Teachable moment for both of you. Beautiful. Sometimes, we don't know why these questions come up until we figure out the answer. And that's when we realize why.

    Damn, life is beautiful

    Fsunami
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,741 Member
    Interesting responses.

    I laughed out loud at the comment about making him go when he doesn't want to won't end well and he'll have a fit.

    That is simply not an option, I don't allow that behavior at any time for any reason. I am the parent and he will be well behaved in any situation whether he is excited to be there or not.

    And I agree with the advice that this is a teaching moment. We committed to attending the party and it is now an obligation.
    As an adult he will be faced with that situation a lot and will need to know how to handle it.
    Looks like I was the one looking for a way out. Shame on me for almost messing up a teaching by example moment.

    We are going.

    Have a great day all. :flowerforyou:

    And as far as him not wanting to go, I've been asking him all week. I haven't gotten a real response from him. He is sometimes unsure of new situations though he has been to Chuck E Cheese before. He knows all of the kids who will be there and plays with them at school every day. Since he hasn't given me a real reason, I suspect he will have a good time once he gets there.

    Interesting response to the responses OP... If not going was not an option wtf was the point of your post?!
  • PMA140
    PMA140 Posts: 60
    YAY for making your 4 year old do things he doesn't want to do/feels uncomfortable doing....

    It's called parenting. If your mom let you make all of your own decisions at 4 years old you probably wouldn't be alive today.
  • PMA140
    PMA140 Posts: 60
    Interesting responses.

    I laughed out loud at the comment about making him go when he doesn't want to won't end well and he'll have a fit.

    That is simply not an option, I don't allow that behavior at any time for any reason. I am the parent and he will be well behaved in any situation whether he is excited to be there or not.

    And I agree with the advice that this is a teaching moment. We committed to attending the party and it is now an obligation.
    As an adult he will be faced with that situation a lot and will need to know how to handle it.
    Looks like I was the one looking for a way out. Shame on me for almost messing up a teaching by example moment.

    We are going.

    Have a great day all. :flowerforyou:

    And as far as him not wanting to go, I've been asking him all week. I haven't gotten a real response from him. He is sometimes unsure of new situations though he has been to Chuck E Cheese before. He knows all of the kids who will be there and plays with them at school every day. Since he hasn't given me a real reason, I suspect he will have a good time once he gets there.

    Interesting response to the responses OP... If not going was not an option wtf was the point of your post?!

    Not going was an option. Letting my kid be a little terror is not.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,743 Member
    He will probably cry at 9 pm and be like "But I wanted to goooooo".

    I'd take him, assuming it's nearby, and then if he hates it leave early.

    ETA: I see you made your decision OP :-)