WWYD if your kid didn't want to go
to a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese? It's in a couple of hours so I need to make a decision.
Half of me wants to jump for joy at avoiding the party.
The other half feels obligated to be there and thinks he'd have a great time once we get there anyway.
My son is 4. The little birthday girl is turning 4. They have been best buds in daycare for years. I have no idea why he doesn't want to go. The girl's mom and I are friendly but not close friends. He was the first kid she invited. I told her we were going to go.
I've never even been to a Chuck E Cheese but I've heard they are loud and annoying (well duh, full of screaming kids lol)
So...to go or not to go?
Half of me wants to jump for joy at avoiding the party.
The other half feels obligated to be there and thinks he'd have a great time once we get there anyway.
My son is 4. The little birthday girl is turning 4. They have been best buds in daycare for years. I have no idea why he doesn't want to go. The girl's mom and I are friendly but not close friends. He was the first kid she invited. I told her we were going to go.
I've never even been to a Chuck E Cheese but I've heard they are loud and annoying (well duh, full of screaming kids lol)
So...to go or not to go?
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Replies
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I don't have any kids, but I know, if my kid said they didn't want to go, and you don't feel comfortable/up to it, then don't go. You don't even really need a reason to give the Girls mom.0
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You don't know why he doesn't want to go? Really?0
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I wouldn't make my kid go. Age 4 sounds a little young to get the full experience at Chuck E Cheese's anyway. There will be more opportunities. If the other mom has a cow about it, just say you got sick right before the party. Give them the present later.0
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I'd get him to go. otherwise he will think he can get every demand he makes, and you already said you will go. Need to stick to commitments!0
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If I tell someone I will be there, I go even if I don't feel like it when the time comes. I may not stay as long as I would have if I felt like going, but I would at least show up.0
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You can tell him you need to go to drop off the gift and say happy birthday. If he wants to stay, great. But if he kicks up a fuss then you have a good reason to leave. Birthdays tend to be a couple hours long and you can always go home early if need be.0
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Find out why he doesn't want to go and if you think it's reasonable don't go. I wouldn't force my child to do something if he doesn't truly want to do something. You don't want him to be cranky and irritated and creating a difficult time at the party. He's four....making him go when he doesn't want to won't end well. He's not old enough to understand the whole....I made a commitment thing.....all he's going to know is that he doesn't want to be there and he'll have a fit. And again, he's four....not a big deal....it's a birthday party, not the end of the world if you don't go. If you don't go then tell the mother that he was in a bad mood and you didn't want to spoil the party......it's the truth.0
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You can tell him you need to go to drop off the gift and say happy birthday. If he wants to stay, great.
Agree totally. Plus you need to teach kids that they can't just back out of commitments because you don't feel like doing it anymore..0 -
Interesting responses.
I laughed out loud at the comment about making him go when he doesn't want to won't end well and he'll have a fit.
That is simply not an option, I don't allow that behavior at any time for any reason. I am the parent and he will be well behaved in any situation whether he is excited to be there or not.
And I agree with the advice that this is a teaching moment. We committed to attending the party and it is now an obligation.
As an adult he will be faced with that situation a lot and will need to know how to handle it.
Looks like I was the one looking for a way out. Shame on me for almost messing up a teaching by example moment.
We are going.
Have a great day all. :flowerforyou:
And as far as him not wanting to go, I've been asking him all week. I haven't gotten a real response from him. He is sometimes unsure of new situations though he has been to Chuck E Cheese before. He knows all of the kids who will be there and plays with them at school every day. Since he hasn't given me a real reason, I suspect he will have a good time once he gets there.0 -
Oh, and "tell the mother he was in a bad mood" lol. Also, not acceptable.
ETA: I follow this line of thinking if he was a baby and maybe not feeling well. My son is old enough to control his behavior.
I wonder from some of these responses if it's been quite a while since you had a 4 year old. I say that because he is plenty old enough to behave and not throw tantrums.0 -
YAY for making your 4 year old do things he doesn't want to do/feels uncomfortable doing....0
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Cooties. :laugh:0
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Sounds more like you want to go, not the kid.
I personally hate Chuck E. Cheesy so if my kid didn't wanna go I'd be jumping for joy.0 -
As an adult, I have the ability to choose if I want to go to a function or party that I don't want to go to. Why force a kid to do something that they don't want to endure, because of some nebulous feeling of obligation. He can visit her at a later time and give her a birthday gift.
Besides, Chuck E Cheese is like one of the nether regions of hell. The kid has good taste.0 -
Interesting responses.
I laughed out loud at the comment about making him go when he doesn't want to won't end well and he'll have a fit.
That is simply not an option, I don't allow that behavior at any time for any reason. I am the parent and he will be well behaved in any situation whether he is excited to be there or not.
And I agree with the advice that this is a teaching moment. We committed to attending the party and it is now an obligation.
As an adult he will be faced with that situation a lot and will need to know how to handle it.
Looks like I was the one looking for a way out. Shame on me for almost messing up a teaching by example moment.
We are going.
Have a great day all. :flowerforyou:
And as far as him not wanting to go, I've been asking him all week. I haven't gotten a real response from him. He is sometimes unsure of new situations though he has been to Chuck E Cheese before. He knows all of the kids who will be there and plays with them at school every day. Since he hasn't given me a real reason, I suspect he will have a good time once he gets there.
Teachable moment for both of you. Beautiful. Sometimes, we don't know why these questions come up until we figure out the answer. And that's when we realize why.
Damn, life is beautiful
Fsunami0 -
Interesting responses.
I laughed out loud at the comment about making him go when he doesn't want to won't end well and he'll have a fit.
That is simply not an option, I don't allow that behavior at any time for any reason. I am the parent and he will be well behaved in any situation whether he is excited to be there or not.
And I agree with the advice that this is a teaching moment. We committed to attending the party and it is now an obligation.
As an adult he will be faced with that situation a lot and will need to know how to handle it.
Looks like I was the one looking for a way out. Shame on me for almost messing up a teaching by example moment.
We are going.
Have a great day all. :flowerforyou:
And as far as him not wanting to go, I've been asking him all week. I haven't gotten a real response from him. He is sometimes unsure of new situations though he has been to Chuck E Cheese before. He knows all of the kids who will be there and plays with them at school every day. Since he hasn't given me a real reason, I suspect he will have a good time once he gets there.
Interesting response to the responses OP... If not going was not an option wtf was the point of your post?!0 -
YAY for making your 4 year old do things he doesn't want to do/feels uncomfortable doing....
It's called parenting. If your mom let you make all of your own decisions at 4 years old you probably wouldn't be alive today.0 -
Interesting responses.
I laughed out loud at the comment about making him go when he doesn't want to won't end well and he'll have a fit.
That is simply not an option, I don't allow that behavior at any time for any reason. I am the parent and he will be well behaved in any situation whether he is excited to be there or not.
And I agree with the advice that this is a teaching moment. We committed to attending the party and it is now an obligation.
As an adult he will be faced with that situation a lot and will need to know how to handle it.
Looks like I was the one looking for a way out. Shame on me for almost messing up a teaching by example moment.
We are going.
Have a great day all. :flowerforyou:
And as far as him not wanting to go, I've been asking him all week. I haven't gotten a real response from him. He is sometimes unsure of new situations though he has been to Chuck E Cheese before. He knows all of the kids who will be there and plays with them at school every day. Since he hasn't given me a real reason, I suspect he will have a good time once he gets there.
Interesting response to the responses OP... If not going was not an option wtf was the point of your post?!
Not going was an option. Letting my kid be a little terror is not.0 -
He will probably cry at 9 pm and be like "But I wanted to goooooo".
I'd take him, assuming it's nearby, and then if he hates it leave early.
ETA: I see you made your decision OP :-)0 -
I'm curious also, as to why a 4 year old wouldn't want to go to Chuck E Cheese's...I mean...that surprises me. Then again, 4 year olds are a lot more intelligent than people give them credit for, and they absorb information and comments like a sponge.
Any chance your 4 year old is aware you're dropping weight...do you talk about it frequently while he's around? Do you get upset about certain "lapses" in weight loss or slow weeks/months around him? How do you react around pizza when you're at home? Do you pick at it..say "I shouldn't be eating this..." etc?
I might be totally off base, but there are some really sensitive 4 yr olds out there...maybe he wants to avoid the party location for your sake rather than his own? ...I dunno =/0 -
I'm curious also, as to why a 4 year old wouldn't want to go to Chuck E Cheese's...I mean...that surprises me. Then again, 4 year olds are a lot more intelligent than people give them credit for, and they absorb information and comments like a sponge.
Any chance your 4 year old is aware you're dropping weight...do you talk about it frequently while he's around? Do you get upset about certain "lapses" in weight loss or slow weeks/months around him? How do you react around pizza when you're at home? Do you pick at it..say "I shouldn't be eating this..." etc?
I might be totally off base, but there are some really sensitive 4 yr olds out there...maybe he wants to avoid the party location for your sake rather than his own? ...I dunno =/
lol...no offense, but I think this is the hugest stretch of the imagination I have seen on MFP forums...just sayin'0 -
You don't know why he doesn't want to go? Really?
this.
if he's old enough to articulate that he doesnt want to go, then he's old enough to articulate why he doesnt want to go. .
sorry but just putting it down to my 4 year old doesnt want to go, i dont know why so we're not going to go really makes me question who's the adult in this situation.0 -
YAY for making your 4 year old do things he doesn't want to do/feels uncomfortable doing....
It's called parenting. If your mom let you make all of your own decisions at 4 years old you probably wouldn't be alive today.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :drinker: Probably wouldn't be literate enough to type that either.0 -
well if he doesn't want to go , then say he is sick and move on. Life is too short for doing stuff you don't like or your kids don't like. That's what I would do0
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I'm curious also, as to why a 4 year old wouldn't want to go to Chuck E Cheese's...I mean...that surprises me. Then again, 4 year olds are a lot more intelligent than people give them credit for, and they absorb information and comments like a sponge.
Any chance your 4 year old is aware you're dropping weight...do you talk about it frequently while he's around? Do you get upset about certain "lapses" in weight loss or slow weeks/months around him? How do you react around pizza when you're at home? Do you pick at it..say "I shouldn't be eating this..." etc?
I might be totally off base, but there are some really sensitive 4 yr olds out there...maybe he wants to avoid the party location for your sake rather than his own? ...I dunno =/
lol...no offense, but I think this is the hugest stretch of the imagination I have seen on MFP forums...just sayin'
Yay! I get to blacklist someone very early on in my MFP journey.
In any case...don't say "no offense" and then say something very offensive, it just makes you look condescending.
I *have* had very similar experiences with a child, actually...she was 5 at the time, so no, it's not a stretch. I stopped talking about my diet around her, and that Dairy Queen trip was very much wanted on her part the next time around.0 -
What is "very offensive" has changed a lot in the recent past, apparently.
Too funny!0 -
With my kids, I always ask them to try it out. We go to whatever it is they are nervous about, and if they still aren't into it after a bit, we leave or hang back to ourselves and watch the other kids. Usually they decide to join but occasionally we end up going home early. It's the same thing with not liking veggies or trying a new food for the first time. How do they really know they don't like it unless they try it?0
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You can tell him you need to go to drop off the gift and say happy birthday. If he wants to stay, great.
Agree totally. Plus you need to teach kids that they can't just back out of commitments because you don't feel like doing it anymore..
^^^ This! I have done this with my kids. The fact that you RSVP'd deserves this.0 -
Are you old?I'm curious also, as to why a 4 year old wouldn't want to go to Chuck E Cheese's...I mean...that surprises me. Then again, 4 year olds are a lot more intelligent than people give them credit for, and they absorb information and comments like a sponge.
Any chance your 4 year old is aware you're dropping weight...do you talk about it frequently while he's around? Do you get upset about certain "lapses" in weight loss or slow weeks/months around him? How do you react around pizza when you're at home? Do you pick at it..say "I shouldn't be eating this..." etc?
I might be totally off base, but there are some really sensitive 4 yr olds out there...maybe he wants to avoid the party location for your sake rather than his own? ...I dunno =/
lol...no offense, but I think this is the hugest stretch of the imagination I have seen on MFP forums...just sayin'
Yay! I get to blacklist someone very early on in my MFP journey.
In any case...don't say "no offense" and then say something very offensive, it just makes you look condescending.
I *have* had very similar experiences with my niece, actually...she was 5 at the time, so no, it's not a stretch. I stopped talking about my diet around her, and that Dairy Queen trip was very much wanted on her part the next time around.0
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