Scared of going to the gym
Replies
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Awesome advice in this thread so far. My humble addition is to suggest that you do some research about a few different gyms and see what kind of comments are out there. Once you've narrowed it down to two or three then take the time to tour them and see which one feels right for you. I have had experiences with both women-only and unisex gyms and there's something to be said for both types. Some have a more intense atmosphere, and others have a more fun, laidback vibe. Pick whatever appeals to you.
Some gyms also enforce dress codes which I find makes me feel more comfortable, and might make you feel more at ease as well. In an environment where everyone's wearing t-****s and regular shorts I feel more at home and less pressured to suck my stomach in while jogging, lol. If you have ever seen the movie Dodgeball, I am the person who would rather work out at Average Joe's gym.
And straight-up, there might be the odd person who will say something rude. *kitten* them. There will be a hundred people who will smile at you, know exactly how you're feeling when you're struggling with something and will offer to help. Don't give that one rude person the right to determine how you feel and whether you will go back to that gym and ENJOY your time there.
It also sounds like you very much need to work through your body image issues because you are beautiful and the fact that you are still allowing other negative voices to dictate how you think about yourself is worrisome. I know where you're coming from, I've been there too. This is your body and it is healthy and perfect. Don't ever allow the past to take that away from you. The people who spewed negativity at you when you were younger pulled those words out of their own deep wells of self-hatred. Forgive them and start focusing your body image on the positive and not the negative. Love yourself and go enjoy that gym membership!0 -
Thanks for all the advice. I just wish it could be as easy as 'just go and do it' for me. I'm certainly not lazy or making excuses; I do cardio and bodyweight strength training at home regularly.
When you've had remarks made about your body from such a young age, you honestly believe they're true. One of the most disgusting ones I still remember to this day was: "if I was as fat as her, I'd never go outside". So I start to believe maybe I am too fat to go outside. I may have lost a lot of weight (20lbs may not seem that much but it makes a huge difference on my small frame) but I still feel like that fat girl who doesn't deserve to do anything she enjoys. That fat girl who should just lock herself away so people don't have to see her.
When I was about 16 I had a boy say to me 'you're the ugliest person I've seen'. I'm definitely not ugly now, but it is hard to remember stuff like that.
You know what, I'm a secondary school teacher now. Kids are horrible to each other. I honestly don't think they realise how much their remarks can affect people.
You're not fat now, and even if you were, no-one at the gym will care. There are all sorts of people at my gym. They run a stroke rehabilitation programme, so there are people who can't even walk properly. I figure if they can go to the gym, then so can anyone else! There's one guy, must be younger than I am, and he hits the weights area and he limps and shakes.0 -
Awesome advice in this thread so far. My humble addition is to suggest that you do some research about a few different gyms and see what kind of comments are out there. Once you've narrowed it down to two or three then take the time to tour them and see which one feels right for you. I have had experiences with both women-only and unisex gyms and there's something to be said for both types. Some have a more intense atmosphere, and others have a more fun, laidback vibe. Pick whatever appeals to you.
Some gyms also enforce dress codes which I find makes me feel more comfortable, and might make you feel more at ease as well. In an environment where everyone's wearing t-****s and regular shorts I feel more at home and less pressured to suck my stomach in while jogging, lol. If you have ever seen the movie Dodgeball, I am the person who would rather work out at Average Joe's gym.
And straight-up, there might be the odd person who will say something rude. *kitten* them. There will be a hundred people who will smile at you, know exactly how you're feeling when you're struggling with something and will offer to help. Don't give that one rude person the right to determine how you feel and whether you will go back to that gym and ENJOY your time there.
It also sounds like you very much need to work through your body image issues because you are beautiful and the fact that you are still allowing other negative voices to dictate how you think about yourself is worrisome. I know where you're coming from, I've been there too. This is your body and it is healthy and perfect. Don't ever allow the past to take that away from you. The people who spewed negativity at you when you were younger pulled those words out of their own deep wells of self-hatred. Forgive them and start focusing your body image on the positive and not the negative. Love yourself and go enjoy that gym membership!
I'd definitely feel better in an Average Joe gym too :P I also understand what you mean about dress codes, if everyone's dressed modestly I'd certainly feel better about myself. Thanks so much for your advice, every little compliment means the world to me so I really appreciate it! I've decided I'm gonna go and take a look at a local gym this weekend.
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Trust me.
Most everyone at the gym is focused on themselves.
You should do the same.
The idea that the gym will be like school as far as bullying & disapproving looks etc. is irrational :flowerforyou:
Get your playlist ready with some crankin' music & do your thing like no one's watching
Yup, we're all at the gym doing the same thing, trying to improve ourselves. No one will go out of their way to give you problems, unless you find an all chav gym. Seriously, go in, do your work. Someone gives you problems, go to the gym management and get it resolved. You're an adult now, you don't have time for any of that to get in your way.0 -
Not taking a piss at you here, but can you explain what about the gym is intimidating?I agree with hookilau. I am totally intimidated by the gym too...
The actual work it represents?
The paraphrenalia there?
The userbase?0 -
Another vote for 'nobody cares'.
Everyone will be doing their own thing, listening to their own tunes and freaking about everyone watching them.
Just go, and have fun
Good luck0 -
I don't want to single you out - but could we just stop with this type of mind reading!Is there any way I can bring the gym to me so I don't have to go and be judged by all the slim, lean, fit people? I don't earn much money at the moment so I can't buy any expensive equipment.
Seriously, if you want to workout at a gym, don't begin on the premise of judging other people!0 -
Honestly, if anything when I first started, someone your size would have intimidated me. I started going to the gym in the wee hours of the morning to avoid people. I eventually learned more about lifting and gained confidence. I started going in the evenings, and guess what? No one gave one tiny *kitten* about what I was doing. It was liberating. The most attention I got was one guy that came over to ask if I was a powerlifter. We always believe people are thinking the worst of us, when sometimes they are thinking the best, or just not caring at all. Do your thing and remember that they are all there for the same reason: to be healthy and work on themselves. I agree that getting a gym partner is also a great idea! I found a lifting partner and it really keeps me motivated!0
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After reading so many threads and posts on MFP how us "in shape" people are allegedly judging all the "not in shape" people makes me not want to go the gym anymore so I am not judged as a shallow, hater.0
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re-reading some of this... OP, why do you NEED a gym? you're doing cardio and body weight exercises at home, so why do you need to spend extra money?
want variations for cardio? chose a different running path. want a different cardio machine? buy a bike. or a jump rope. or play tennis.
want some variation in your body weight exercises? next time you go for a run, stop at a local park. do some box jumps on to a bench, do some one legged squats, hanging leg raises, whatever. you don't have to spend money on a gym.0 -
Thanks for all the advice. I just wish it could be as easy as 'just go and do it' for me. I'm certainly not lazy or making excuses; I do cardio and bodyweight strength training at home regularly.
When you've had remarks made about your body from such a young age, you honestly believe they're true. One of the most disgusting ones I still remember to this day was: "if I was as fat as her, I'd never go outside". So I start to believe maybe I am too fat to go outside. I may have lost a lot of weight (20lbs may not seem that much but it makes a huge difference on my small frame) but I still feel like that fat girl who doesn't deserve to do anything she enjoys. That fat girl who should just lock herself away so people don't have to see her.
Hey I've been there. Instead of internally punishing myself, I punished the people making the statements physically. Listen, these are words and mean nothing. The damage has been done and you can either allow it to keep hurting you, or you can choose to heal.
It is ultimately, your choice. Want to be 36 and overweight, weak, and still afraid to take control of your future, or do you want to take the plunge and do it now, to protect and invest in your future now?0 -
When I first started going to the gym, I went with a friend. It made the biggest difference in the world to me. Knowing that there was someone there to turn to when I was pretty embarrassed with myself, who taught me how to do things correctly, and having someone waiting for me in my driveway in the morning kept me going. Now I feel confident enough to go on my own. I find myself reaching out to those with the "deer in the headlights" look, because I've been there. I'm still somewhat "fluffy," but I feel so much stronger now!
If you can go with a friend, I would suggest it. Or maybe join a class, just to have a place to feel comfortable before you hit the weight floor. Or maybe get a trainer to help you a few times. That was another thing that helped me feel more comfortable. Once I knew what I was doing, and knew that I was doing it correctly, I lost a lot of fear.
I understand the issues with being judged. But the hardest part is doing it for the first time. You've got this. Just walk in and start. You'll be amazed at how fast you will get over the fear. Good luck!0 -
No one gets bullied or judged at my gym! People are focused on themselves, and I think in general, people are pretty understanding of where others are in their weight loss journey. Plus, you'll learn a lot from watching others.
Jillian Michaels has good workout videos you can use at home. I really like Burn Fat Boost Metabolism.0 -
Honestly, I felt the same way until I started going to the gym. Then, while I did find that yes, there were tons of people more fit than me who went to the gym, there were also tons of people my size or even much bigger (and people much, much older than me too) who went. I'd like to point out that I'm pretty sure I started out bigger than you are right now, judging from your profile picture.
We're all trying to better ourselves. If anything, I've run into people I know or seen people repeatedly, particularly trainers/staff who work at the gym, who smile and say hi to me.0 -
I joined a ladies only gym because I felt more comfortable with that option. I worried about looking silly in the gym but the truth is that the women there have been so encouraging and supportive. They share their tips and success stories with one another and it's inspiring. Give it a try.0
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When I am at the gym, everyone else could be on fire and I would not notice, I am there to do what I need to do. And fact of the matter is, anyone I see there, even if they have clearly treated their body with reckless abandon, I am glad to see them there doing something to better them self. Trust me, the only people being judged, are the guys with 16" arms and 10" calves.0
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The gym is awesome! I liked the one at the ymca! I never felt judged just accepted.0
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I try not to take posts like this personally but I do find this a bit insulting. You are afraid to go to the gym because you are 130lbs and consider yourself so fat you are going to be made fun of? So for all of us who weigh two or three times as much as you, should we never leave the house? Maybe instead of the gym you should see a counselor to deal with your body image issues.0
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Try a class! I used to be fit and strong (and a gym rat), but over the past year have gained enough weight to make me massively self-conscious. As such, I am intimidated by my gym's weight room - lots of very muscle-y "bro" type guys in there lifting very heavy amounts of weight. To ease into things, I took a Bodypump weight-training class. IT'S AMAZING. It's a great way to get into lifting, without jumping right into things. The class dynamic provides a supportive atmosphere, and it's so fast-paced there isn't time to worry about how you look. I would highly recommend something along those lines to help you learn proper form, and perhaps meet a gym buddy!
Good luck! And CONGRATS on the weight loss!0 -
The story of the ugly duckling springs to my mind, just imagine bumping into one of those girls 3-4 months from now after going to the gym regularly.
They'd be
‘WOW is that really her!' Just do it!0 -
You've been given some great advice. I agree with the posters.
I delayed my gym experience because I thought I was too old. I discovered I really was invisible, which is good. Armed with MP3 player, water, small towel and knowledge of what I wanted to do in the gym, I slip in and out and no one cares. Just like I don't care if others slip in and out. Eventually, if you're on someone's same schedule, you'll exchange smiles. There's a brother/sisterhood in the gym. We all respect the reasons we're there. BTW -- there's only a few gorgeous people at the gym. Most everyone sweats and goes about their business, and I go to a community gym at the local college. More people get looked at for NOT wiping down their machines or for talking loudly on the phone than for any other reason.
So good luck - get a trainer if that's important to you and get out of your own head. I'm sorry for the past and the neglect from those who took care of you, but it's time to let go of the blame game. From this point on -- it's all on you! And you'll do well.0 -
Try a class! I used to be fit and strong (and a gym rat), but over the past year have gained enough weight to make me massively self-conscious. As such, I am intimidated by my gym's weight room - lots of very muscle-y "bro" type guys in there lifting very heavy amounts of weight. To ease into things, I took a Bodypump weight-training class. IT'S AMAZING. It's a great way to get into lifting, without jumping right into things. The class dynamic provides a supportive atmosphere, and it's so fast-paced there isn't time to worry about how you look. I would highly recommend something along those lines to help you learn proper form, and perhaps meet a gym buddy!
I was going to say something like this. Join a class (pump classes are my favorite), stay in the back at first, but keep going. There will be regulars there that you can make friends with and it makes it so much easier to go. Generally aerobics rooms have lots of mirrors, but you can ease into looking at yourself and your form.0 -
I joined a ladies only gym because I felt more comfortable with that option. I worried about looking silly in the gym but the truth is that the women there have been so encouraging and supportive. They share their tips and success stories with one another and it's inspiring. Give it a try.
hysterically- women are way more judgey about other women at the gym- just check out the hundreds of "did you see that girl wearing the cute clothes and make up- I clearly work harder because I'm in sweats with a sloppy pony tail and I'm sweating like a pig!"
women can be so cruel.0 -
Dunno why but I git the feeling you are from the UK.
You can do pretty good resistance training at home if you had to have a look at the body doctor.
However you have recognised its a real challenge to go to a gym.
The best advice tops ive seen so far are:
1. Nobody is looking at you.
2. Go with a friend.
3. Find the right gym. That means go round several within your locality and see which ones suit you. There are some great community gyms. to and have a look round and you will find they are full of pensioners and people who couldnt care less what you look like or the weights you are lifting. Ive recently found several weaknesses in my trength training, but you have to start somewhere.
4. Not an ideal solution but go off peak that nornmally means aboid 4-8pm and then there tend to be very few pees around.
5. Only join a gym were they have good staff and then they can set you up with a programme and show you what machines to use. Take a pen and paper and write it down. Once you know which machines and what weight note it down and then when you get there you know which machines you need to use.
6.Pick a weight where you can manage a set of 15 repeitions and the final few should be challenging. When they arent add a bit of weight. Keep picking the brains of the nice gym staff.
Theres also plenty of good sites on the net which show you how to use the equipment.
Keep focused on the importance to you and why you are doing it. These reasons are infinitely more importnat than worrying about people who will be more worried about themselves. Lots of good advice on this thread for you.0 -
FEAR has 2 ways to look at it.
Forget everything and run
Face everything and rise.
That is AWESOME.0 -
Thanks for all the advice. I just wish it could be as easy as 'just go and do it' for me. I'm certainly not lazy or making excuses; I do cardio and bodyweight strength training at home regularly.
When you've had remarks made about your body from such a young age, you honestly believe they're true. One of the most disgusting ones I still remember to this day was: "if I was as fat as her, I'd never go outside". So I start to believe maybe I am too fat to go outside. I may have lost a lot of weight (20lbs may not seem that much but it makes a huge difference on my small frame) but I still feel like that fat girl who doesn't deserve to do anything she enjoys. That fat girl who should just lock herself away so people don't have to see her.
You should go BECAUSE you're scared to. You should go BECAUSE no matter what's on the scale, you're a great girl who deserves to do anything she enjoys. Taking the steps is what will change your thoughts and feelings - if you wait until you feel okay about it will never happen. It's totally normal to feel scared and anxious and nervous, just put one foot in front of the other anyway. Do it BECAUSE it will quiet down those old nasty voices.0 -
I try not to take posts like this personally but I do find this a bit insulting. You are afraid to go to the gym because you are 130lbs and consider yourself so fat you are going to be made fun of? So for all of us who weigh two or three times as much as you, should we never leave the house? Maybe instead of the gym you should see a counselor to deal with your body image issues.
I wasn't trying to offend anyone or belittle anyone else's struggles. I'm sure I explained in my post that the way I feel about myself is directly related to bullying. Of course I don't think that anyone who is overweight should never leave the house; I just feel like other people think like that due to what I've experienced in the past.0 -
BODY WEIGHT EXERCISES!
CALISTHENICS
Search YouTube for workout videos.
I like AthleanX. You don't have weights, but he gives lots of good info.0 -
Maybe check P90X3 , and also look at the results people have gotten on youtube. It is an At-home workout that incorporates weights and cardio0
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The mirrors in the gym are not there for you to look at your body but to enable you to check that you are doing the exercises in the right way (good form). Don't look at your body per se - look at your limbs, your back, your posture. Are your elbows high enough, is your back in its natural curve, is your head back?
The other people there are not interested in looking at you, they have their own selves to deal with.
If you go to the gym with a pleasant personality and a ready smile, you will find out just how nice and helpful people can be.
But most importantly; don't let the bullies win! If you don't go to the gym, the ba****rds have won. Get your head up, your feet into gear, march into that gym and show the world that you are not a victim but a strong, empowered woman who knows what she wants and how to go and get it!0
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