Would you date someone that has no job

13

Replies

  • idontcarroll
    idontcarroll Posts: 216 Member
    Of course. I'm married to one and my career affords us that luxury.

    I'm surprised though no one has compared this question to the ones of "would you date someone overweight" and how the answers to these two questions break down along gender lines.

    Being unemployed and overweight are different things.The answers would however be the same as some of us woudnt date someone who is overweight or obese.So the question would still get different answers

    This response reminds me that I should have added the discussion of how men and women may put difference emphasis on the importance of intelligence in mate.

    200.gif
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • bkthandler
    bkthandler Posts: 247 Member
    For me, yes it's a deal breaker. I have enough people to take care of.

    Even if you're loaded and have money coming outta your ears, do SOMETHING.

    This+++++
  • DBoone85
    DBoone85 Posts: 916 Member
    IDK.....a few questions:

    1. Are they hot?

    2. Do they smell funny?

    3. Can they make a great sammich?

    4. Will they share their bacon?

    5. Is their name Brett?

    If the answers are yes, no, yes, yes, no......I'm in.
  • bkthandler
    bkthandler Posts: 247 Member
    Of course. I'm married to one and my career affords us that luxury.

    I'm surprised though no one has compared this question to the ones of "would you date someone overweight" and how the answers to these two questions break down along gender lines.

    Is your spouse unemployed or a "homemaker"? Huge difference regardless of gender, especially if there are children involved.
  • Kaelakcr
    Kaelakcr Posts: 505 Member
    Of course. I'm married to one and my career affords us that luxury.

    I'm surprised though no one has compared this question to the ones of "would you date someone overweight" and how the answers to these two questions break down along gender lines.

    Being unemployed and overweight are different things.The answers would however be the same as some of us woudnt date someone who is overweight or obese.So the question would still get different answers

    This response reminds me that I should have added the discussion of how men and women may put difference emphasis on the importance of intelligence in mate.

    I would never date a man who didn't value intelligence in his partner. I find that honestly gross.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    If they just got laid off or their job was "downsized", I wouldn't consider it a factor. If that person had a history of unemployment, I might consider it.

    However, most of these determining factors don't come out until you've dated for a while.

    Truth is, though, I've never dated a gal that was unemployed. I want, and found, a person that doesn't need me. She chose me. It's not a matter of picking someone out of financial need.
  • Return_of_the_Big_Mac
    Return_of_the_Big_Mac Posts: 474 Member
    Having a job doesn't matter to me because I make enough money. However, I could never date someone who didn't have ambition or goals that mattered.
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    Never. A man out of work for any reason is almost always depressed. If he is "independently wealthy" and feels no need to work, he lacks purpose or passion.

    This is BS... It's all context relevant. Being lazy and not seeking employment or being laid off due to circumstances out of my control are two VERY different scenarios. I work on the office side of construction, so being awarded a constant flow of work is not always the case. We have slow times where we have to lay off jobsite staff. It's not their fault and they understand that. They are almost NEVER depressed. They know that there's a good chance they'll get called back to work once things pick back up. It's almost never as black and white as you make it out to be.
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    Of course. I'm married to one and my career affords us that luxury.

    I'm surprised though no one has compared this question to the ones of "would you date someone overweight" and how the answers to these two questions break down along gender lines.

    Being unemployed and overweight are different things.The answers would however be the same as some of us woudnt date someone who is overweight or obese.So the question would still get different answers

    This response reminds me that I should have added the discussion of how men and women may put difference emphasis on the importance of intelligence in mate.

    I would never date a man who didn't value intelligence in his partner. I find that honestly gross.

    This.
  • sw33tp3a11
    sw33tp3a11 Posts: 4,646 Member
    I have. He was unemployed for about 2 months but he never gave up looking for a job. He had the motivation to work. Otherwise I would have never dated him.
  • Cryptonomnomicon
    Cryptonomnomicon Posts: 848 Member
    IDK.....a few questions:

    1. Are they hot?

    2. Do they smell funny?

    3. Can they make a great sammich?

    4. Will they share their bacon?

    5. Is their name Brett?

    If the answers are yes, no, yes, yes, no......I'm in.
    aC1qrDN.gif
  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
    No.

    I have dated independently wealthy. That gets old fast. Getting up and going to bed while they lounge around all day, go to the gym, fiddle faddle, then are ready to go and do when you are ready to go to the gym, eat dinner and maybe relax a little before having to get to bed to get up at 6 to do it again. I started to feel resentful.

    I have dating the later in life student... yeah, I am just not really at the place in life were I want to wait and see on "potential". I want steady and stable. Just not my thing.
  • mave34
    mave34 Posts: 109 Member
    Depends on the situation, because lets face it, there are people with jobs who still don't seem to have any money......it would be based on the individual and the current situation and their history. I am a very independent type and raised my two kids on my own with little to no help from their father so I would take all things into consideration considering I can take care of my own. They just wouldn't be moving into my house ;) LOL
  • Elsie_Brownraisin
    Elsie_Brownraisin Posts: 786 Member
    Unless they're independently wealthy, yes. HUGE dealbreaker.

    ETA that I've dated people who were unemployed before. It may seem antiquated, but in my experience it really does something bad to a man who has to depend on a woman for money.

    My husband is a stay at home Dad and I go to work.

    His testicles shrivelled up and fell off after the 3 months, so yeah, it does pretty bad stuff to a man.
  • bennettinfinity
    bennettinfinity Posts: 865 Member
    Of course. I'm married to one and my career affords us that luxury.

    I'm surprised though no one has compared this question to the ones of "would you date someone overweight" and how the answers to these two questions break down along gender lines.

    ^^^^ This! My wife is unemployed and we go on dates all the time :-). She and I worked extremely hard to get at the point we are now. She no longer works and my income allows us to be very comfortable. It allows us to be able to concentrate in having quality time together. Unlike Sunofabeach, we no longer have little ones at home. We do have a grandson and my wife just returned from a weeks vacation visiting him. There is very little stress in our life. So would I date someone who is unemployed? HECK YES!

    But would you tell your wife? :wink:
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    it all depends on why they're unemployed

    This. What are they doing instead of being employed. Student?
  • cosmiqrust
    cosmiqrust Posts: 214 Member
    it was fine when i was in college, but i wouldn't do it now. and that's not coming without understanding, either. i spent the last three years unemployed and searching every day (thanks, california!), but i've found that dating is much more exciting when one or more of you can afford a car.
  • BeingHealthyMe
    BeingHealthyMe Posts: 3
    As long as he works hard to get a job again...no prob!:happy:
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    total dealbreaker, UNLESS he can somehow manage to pay his own bills, because I am not paying them for some guy I start to date.
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    I would. I like people for who they are, not what they do, or what they can do for me. I can pay my own bills, so as long as he didn't expect me to support him, I wouldn't care if he was employed or not.
  • harribeau2012
    harribeau2012 Posts: 644 Member
    Ain't nothin goin on but the rent
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    Of course. I'm married to one and my career affords us that luxury.

    I'm surprised though no one has compared this question to the ones of "would you date someone overweight" and how the answers to these two questions break down along gender lines.

    Is your spouse unemployed or a "homemaker"? Huge difference regardless of gender, especially if there are children involved.

    This,i am in longterm relationship with someone who lost his job but he is actively looking for another one so its all good.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I agree, it totally depends on the situation. In the early years with Hubs, he was working a seasonal job and in the winter he'd file for unemployment and also signed up with a temp agency. There was some lazing about but I appreciated that he worked hard (12-14 hour days, manual labor) during the season so I didn't mind as long as he could pay the bills. If he'd just sat around playing video games the whole time and tried to mooch off me, that would've been a deal breaker.

    Even if he was independently weathy, I couldn't respect him if he didn't do something with his time - volunteer, take classes, etc.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Ain't nothin goin on but the rent

    Got to have a j-o-b if ya wanna be with me...

    No romance without finance.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Of course. I'm married to one and my career affords us that luxury.

    I'm surprised though no one has compared this question to the ones of "would you date someone overweight" and how the answers to these two questions break down along gender lines.

    Is your spouse unemployed or a "homemaker"? Huge difference regardless of gender, especially if there are children involved.

    This,i am in longterm relationship with someone who lost his job but he is actively looking for another one so its all good.

    see, long term and/or married is different to me than initially starting out to date. Starting out, I don't want to take that on. If I were unemployed, I wouldn't be looking to date, I'd be looking to get a job, because I'm not looking for a guy to take care of me, nor am I looking to take care of him. Not financially, anyway.

    Now, if we had been together a while and he got say, laid off and was actively seeking a job, that is different and understandable.
  • smallerchelle
    smallerchelle Posts: 1
    Yes, I believe everyone deserves a chance. With our economy, no job is secure, people are being laid off for no reason at all.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    SO many factors would go into my "decision" on that.

    Is this guy recently laid off? Is he looking for work? Does he have savings to sustain him for awhile? Is he generally responsible and independent? Depending on his age, what does the last 5, 10, or 20 years of his life look like? Not just professionally, but financially, psychologically, etc... All of that makes a huge difference.

    Or is he someone with a sketchy work history, criminal record, tons of debt, bad credit, and/or four children he is supposed to be paying child support on? In those cases that's a NO.

    I know I may sound like a jerk to some people, and that's okay. We all get to make our own decisions in this area. When I met my husband, he was living with his parents at 31. That was not a dealbreaker at all for me...he was a freelance writer and primary caregiver for his mother (who has since passed away), he was/is very responsible and had zero debt and two degrees. The idea of me not dating him because of his living situation is laughable to me.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Of course. I'm married to one and my career affords us that luxury.

    I'm surprised though no one has compared this question to the ones of "would you date someone overweight" and how the answers to these two questions break down along gender lines.

    I've dated a guy that is 330 pounds. I see no problem with the overweight thing. I fell in love with him for him.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    Of course. I'm married to one and my career affords us that luxury.

    I'm surprised though no one has compared this question to the ones of "would you date someone overweight" and how the answers to these two questions break down along gender lines.

    Is your spouse unemployed or a "homemaker"? Huge difference regardless of gender, especially if there are children involved.

    This,i am in longterm relationship with someone who lost his job but he is actively looking for another one so its all good.

    see, long term and/or married is different to me than initially starting out to date. Starting out, I don't want to take that on. If I were unemployed, I wouldn't be looking to date, I'd be looking to get a job, because I'm not looking for a guy to take care of me, nor am I looking to take care of him. Not financially, anyway.

    Now, if we had been together a while and he got say, laid off and was actively seeking a job, that is different and understandable.

    I agree with you,i woudnt start a relationship with someone that's unemployed either.I have in the past but then I realized that they had no intention of finding work even though they said they where looking.Paying for everything got old fast and it was a turn off.It somehow demusculate a man if I have to support him. Its major turn off to me

Categories