Would you date someone that has no job

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Replies

  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Unemployed, actively looking, with prospects of getting a job in the short term? Yeah, probably.

    Willfully and ongoing unemployed? Nope.

    I dated a guy for a short time who was unemployed. I broke it off when I found out he was so determined to remain unemployed that he had researched and then faked a mental illness in order to obtain a disability pension so that he wouldn't have to look for work. Deliberate drain on society. The arrogance that requires is immense.

    That's why I am unsure to start a relationship with someone that's jobless .If I was already in a relationship and they lose their job and they are actively looking then that's a different story

    so, are you in a long term relationship with someone without a job or starting a new relationship with someone without a job?
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    Unemployed, actively looking, with prospects of getting a job in the short term? Yeah, probably.

    Willfully and ongoing unemployed? Nope.

    I dated a guy for a short time who was unemployed. I broke it off when I found out he was so determined to remain unemployed that he had researched and then faked a mental illness in order to obtain a disability pension so that he wouldn't have to look for work. Deliberate drain on society. The arrogance that requires is immense.

    That's why I am unsure to start a relationship with someone that's jobless .If I was already in a relationship and they lose their job and they are actively looking then that's a different story

    so, are you in a long term relationship with someone without a job or starting a new relationship with someone without a job?

    I am in longterm relationship with someone who recently lost his job but actively looking for another one.Its not an issue since I know that he is looking and I see him sending out resumes everyday busting his butt.The reason why I woudn`t want to start out a relationship with someone in that situation is they might say they are looking when they are not.They should prioritize looking for job than dating
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    Unemployed, actively looking, with prospects of getting a job in the short term? Yeah, probably.

    Willfully and ongoing unemployed? Nope.

    I dated a guy for a short time who was unemployed. I broke it off when I found out he was so determined to remain unemployed that he had researched and then faked a mental illness in order to obtain a disability pension so that he wouldn't have to look for work. Deliberate drain on society. The arrogance that requires is immense.

    That's why I am unsure to start a relationship with someone that's jobless .If I was already in a relationship and they lose their job and they are actively looking then that's a different story

    so, are you in a long term relationship with someone without a job or starting a new relationship with someone without a job?

    I am in longterm relationship with someone who recently lost his job but actively looking for another one.Its not an issue since I know that he is looking and I see him sending out resumes everyday busting his butt.The reason why I woudn`t want to start out a relationship with someone in that situation is they might say they are looking when they are not.They should prioritize looking for job than dating

    I only asked based on what you said in what I quoted, but am right there with you. Well, not that they might be lying about looking, because I wouldn't assume that, but that they should probably make finding a job more of a priority than finding a girlfriend.
  • bugaboo_sue
    bugaboo_sue Posts: 552 Member
    1) Are they just sitting on their butt collecting unemployment because they get paid more that way than any job could pay?
    2) Did they just lose their job?
    3) Are they actively looking for a job, sending out their resume and going on job interviews?

    If it's the latter two then I don't have a problem with it. The first one though? No freaking way. Also if it's the latter two I would give a time frame -- three months max -- for them to get another job. If by that time they haven't found a job yet then it's time to say good-bye.
  • Canwehugnow
    Canwehugnow Posts: 218 Member
    Who cares?
  • americangirlok
    americangirlok Posts: 228 Member
    Are they like between jobs? Like got laid off and currently looking? Or are they someone who thinks working is optional? I don't know that it'd be a deal breaker, but it'd be something I'd keep my eye one, like is he trying to find one and just not having any luck or is he a moocher? B/c this girl does not work to support a man to sit on his rear and play video games and eat my food while I'm at work all day, and then come home to a filthy house, not me!
  • bugaboo_sue
    bugaboo_sue Posts: 552 Member
    Who cares?

    You will when you're the one supporting him because he doesn't feel the need to work!
  • mopqqq
    mopqqq Posts: 5 Member
    I have, and he never once asked me for money or anything else the entire time (more than a year).

    He was out of work, but he wouldn't just accept anything that came along. He waited for the right position to come along and made do with various piecemeal work until it happened. He refused to apply for any social services because then he would lack incentive.

    It drove me nuts at the time; I come from a family that's always valued long-term employment and job security. But it was the right thing for him to do, in terms of how he manages HIS life.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
    Who cares?

    You will when you're the one supporting him because he doesn't feel the need to work!

    this
  • jenifr818
    jenifr818 Posts: 805 Member
    Sure. Married to one now for quite a few years. It's cool though, because I come home to a hot meal every night, laundry done and folded. *most* of the cleaning is all set. Trash is on the curb ready for pickup on Wednesday nights. Coupons clipped for shopping day. I make the ends meet, my partner keeps them tied.
  • Slacker16
    Slacker16 Posts: 1,184 Member
    Date, yes.
    Support, no.

    Non-debatable, at least not at this point in my life.
  • shankasaurus
    shankasaurus Posts: 116 Member
    Of course. I'm married to one and my career affords us that luxury.

    I'm surprised though no one has compared this question to the ones of "would you date someone overweight" and how the answers to these two questions break down along gender lines.

    This is a fascinating look at gender roles in our current social structure. Not to mention the way that money and power impact relationships. Last year I got an enormous promotion/raise, I make enough to support a family now. I don't care if the guy has any himself, if he is willing to be a SAHD and keep house I would so be down with it. The problem is that I have tried dating with this mindset and it's hard to find men who are on the same page.

    And then on the flip side, dating men who are financially secure is always tough because their expectations can be very difficult to meet. (example, me being overweight is quite clearly a dealbreaker for a LOT of men)
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member

    (example, me being overweight is quite clearly a dealbreaker for a LOT of men)

    Is it??
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    If they were rich, NOPE. Also if the intention is NOT to work, then it's a deal breaker.

    A.C.E. Certified Group Fitness and Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • shankasaurus
    shankasaurus Posts: 116 Member

    (example, me being overweight is quite clearly a dealbreaker for a LOT of men)

    Is it??

    Wellllll, there are always those that have a preference for larger women. But I'm not interested in being fetishized.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    Unemployed, unmotivated and living with their parents? No. Unemployed because they were laid off and are currently living on their savings and perhaps attending classes to pursue a better, stable career? Maybe. Rich playboy without a care in the world? Maybe for a couple weeks, but not long term.
  • Go_Mizzou99
    Go_Mizzou99 Posts: 2,628 Member
    In addition to what was mentioned above:

    1. Is that person independently wealthy? Ok
    2. Is that person currently working towards becoming gainfully employed? Ok
    3. Is that person a leach? HELLZ NOOOOO!!!!

    +1
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    When I first met my BF- he was on partial unemployment and continuing to working his part time job. after we started hanging out more- he started working full time at that job- not a long term plan. 3 years in I finally had enough and said you're not moving fast enough- and I don't see life improvement. I'm done- I loved him and it was a really difficult descion and time.... 3 months of fighting (him fighting for me)- I finally agreed to work some things out with him and give it a second shot (this is REALLY not my usual- when I break up- I'm like- I'm done- no contact no nothing it's over) and we agreed to meet in the middle on some things- and improve- he got a new job and has since done some work- and me too- but there is no way- not long term- you have to have self improvement.

    I'm surprised though no one has compared this question to the ones of "would you date someone overweight" and how the answers to these two questions break down along gender lines.

    it comes up occasionally- I am always amused and crucified- I personally am a no.

    I'm just not attracted to over weight people. And my circles that I travel in have mostly active people who are pretty busy and workout- or are dancers. I just am not attracted to it. I feel like 50 pounds of over weight I'd probably draw the line- and I would have to consider leaving my partner. Life is a journey- *kitten* happens I get it- but I'm specifically talking about people who are constantly not making an effort to improve themselves- I cant' live with someone like that- and that goes for work and weight- or fitness- pretty much anything.
  • SugarBabyGirl
    SugarBabyGirl Posts: 7,026 Member
    Not likely, but it depends why and for how long. Long term goals etc.

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