Open Relationships

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Replies

  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    i met my husband. I can't fathom having another man touch me, or another woman touch him.

    As far as friends and family, I would much rather stay home and do" nothing" with my husband than go out and do anything else with anyone else. There is a different bond with him then there is with anyone else, he is by far (along with our children) the most important thing in my life. And it's not just a sexual bond, If I'm happy about something, it's not the same if I can't share it with him, If I'm upset about something, he does what he can to fix that, and yes, he is the only one that can do that so completely. He can fix an unfixable situation. He's deceased and I feel like part of me is missing... because it is.

    I'm not judging, and I get it, to each their own and I'm happy for anyone that finds happiness, doesn't matter where you find it as long as it's not in a pipe or a bottle. But I did want to defend those of us that do think that one person can satisfy us completely for the rest of our lives.

    I've edited your post to make it my own, but I strongly agree with so much here.

    I was the same way about my husband. Being with him was all I wanted. We spent every minute not working, together. We enjoyed each other's company. I didn't go out with the girls, he didn't go out with the boys. We were everything to each other.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I personally find the idea repulsive.
  • Ump78
    Ump78 Posts: 342 Member
    I have a hard time understanding this situation in general. If you want to be with other people why be in a committed relationship to begin with? I see it as wanting your cake & eat it to.

    Who the hell wants cake they can't eat??

    Especially with whipped cream ome top...

    I just want the icing. I'll eat the icing, you can have the cake.

    Do you like it straight from the container or applied?

    Hmmmm.....it depends.


    What flavor is it?

    Not sure ..rumor is it is a little salty

    Is there a separate forum for disgusting and desperate online sex chats perchance?

    Desperate, maybe, but I don't see what's disgusting about it. We're all adults here.

    Some adults don't want to hear about your bukkake
    that you know the word is indicative. That you spelled it correctly speaks volumes.
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
    To each their own. It's not for me. I won't share my treasure. With ANYONE. Male OR female. If I'm not enough for her, she can move it on down the road. And, if she doesn't fulfill me 100%, then I'M moving on. Not judging others by my own standards. Just living by them.

    tumblr_m1rkzphj1n1r6aoq4o1_500.gif
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,482 Member
    Thank GAWD I don't care what any of you do in your relationships...


    Are-We-Having-Fun-Yet-Party-Down.gif
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
    Some people try an open relationship as a band-aid to a crumbling relationship. That's a bad idea. It's not going to fix what's broken in the relationship. It's hard enough with one person. Being open and honest with a third person seems like a recipe for trouble.

    I can't imagine sharing my husband. I'd probably go postal on anyone who touched him inappropriately. :laugh:
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    Personally, and this is my personal opinion...I feel that open relationships and polyamorous ones are code for 'I don't want to grow up or be in a committed relationship because I'm chicken'....

    Again, this is my personal opinion and I mean no offense by it.

    Actually, wouldn't being in two+ committed relationships (polyamory) describe a person who -very much- enjoys commitment?

    And wouldn't taking care of two+ significant others imply that you are grown up? As you would have to double up on many adult situations such as bills and emotions and potentially children.

    I'm not saying that everyone has to do it or be okay with it, or that your opinion is invalid, I am just making an argument for the fact that maybe you just don't care to have that type of relationship and it's not a reflection of the maturity level of the people involved in that type of relationship. I don't assume that people in monogamous relationships are jealous and insecure, they just like being monogamous, and that's that.

    I see your point and I should have re-read my statement because I actually thought I had taken the grow up part out.

    The commitment thing though - the ones I have encountered stated they only wanted to be in a committed relationship with one, but they were polyamorous. Of course these were all coming from people on dating sites. One was a married couple who had kids and they both dated other people. I guess that's a completely foreign concept to me, especially when kids are in the picture. i guess personally, I feel being in a committed relationship with 1 person can be hard enough. Add a 2nd, 3rd, etc...If you get mad at one do you leave to go see 2 or 3? Do you make a schedule for who is with who and when? What happens if someone gets jealous. I guess I feel that 2 people trying to make things work can be a lot harder because you don't have an 'out'.

    I'm also one though that to each their own. Do what you want, just leave me out of it. :flowerforyou:

    Honestly, I have a hard enough time just dating one, let alone two. I realize not everyone is like that.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,051 Member
    Just to answer the OP.
    It's not for me....to each his/her own.
  • Erin_goBrahScience
    Erin_goBrahScience Posts: 1,215 Member
    What goes on between two consulting adults is of nobody else's business as far as I'm concerned. I doesn't affect my life in any form way or function. So if it makes them happy...cheers.:drinker:

    This obsession our society places on knowing the intimate details of other people's sex lives is bizarre. Mind your own and don't worry about your neighbor.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,960 Member
    What goes on between two consulting adults is of nobody else's business as far as I'm concerned. I doesn't affect my life in any form way or function. So if it makes them happy...cheers.:drinker:

    This obsession our society places on knowing the intimate details of other people's sex lives is bizarre. Mind your own and don't worry about your neighbor.

    :love:


    Srsly - THIS!
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,952 Member
    Hm, I didn't realize I was on sparkteens.com
  • suremeansyes
    suremeansyes Posts: 962 Member
    The commitment thing though - the ones I have encountered stated they only wanted to be in a committed relationship with one, but they were polyamorous. Of course these were all coming from people on dating sites. One was a married couple who had kids and they both dated other people. I guess that's a completely foreign concept to me, especially when kids are in the picture. i guess personally, I feel being in a committed relationship with 1 person can be hard enough. Add a 2nd, 3rd, etc...If you get mad at one do you leave to go see 2 or 3? Do you make a schedule for who is with who and when? What happens if someone gets jealous. I guess I feel that 2 people trying to make things work can be a lot harder because you don't have an 'out'.

    There are as many different poly relationships as there as monogamous, so everyone does things their own way. Some people are in committed relationships with two different people and yes, they have somewhat of a schedule going on. People fix things in their own way, so when couples are mad at each other some need space and some don't, so I suppose how they handled it would depend on their own personal parameters. It's not for the faint of heart, and yes emotionally it can be difficult.

    I personally feel that even as a monogamous couple, you have an out. :) If I get mad, I can just leave. I'm a grown up, I don't need another person to run to, I can just get in my car and drive away.

    Personally, I am much better at monogamy than polyamory. I was in a sexually open relationship for years and honestly, it got very boring. I rather enjoy having one person to get nude in front of and to drive crazy.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,245 Member
    Look... all relationships have boundaries. Open relationships have different boundaries than monogamous ones.

    That's all. That's all there is to it. If someone wants an open relationship, then they are looking for an unconventional relationship in which they establish their own boundaries instead of allowing society to do it for them.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,938 Member
    About this whole thing about what happens when you are mad at your partner. Just personally I have known my husband for 18 years, and been in relationship for 16. And we don't get "mad" at each other over anything other than small things such as not doing the cleaning or working late (because I miss him and want to be with him, so that's a different kind of "mad"). Whatever we get mad about, I always see my part in it, and never think he is the one that caused the issue. I know that I have my own issues. Most of the time even when I feel mad, I also am sort of internally laughing at myself, and usually we end up making jokes and laughing about it. I never turn to any other person to talk about my feelings about my husband (except for good things that I want to talk about). We work things out together. Also, we are not in an open relationship, though we have been together a long time, since we were young, so we did have some experiences when we were younger, and the option to talk about whatever may interest us is always open.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    I think my Battery Operated Boyfriend is having a fling with the TV remote. I don't care. Does that make our relationship an open one?
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Makes sense from an evolutionary perspective.
  • RinnyLush
    RinnyLush Posts: 389 Member
    What goes on between two consulting adults is of nobody else's business as far as I'm concerned. I doesn't affect my life in any form way or function. So if it makes them happy...cheers.:drinker:

    This obsession our society places on knowing the intimate details of other people's sex lives is bizarre. Mind your own and don't worry about your neighbor.

    :love:


    Srsly - THIS!


    Such truth! :drinker:
  • Tomm88
    Tomm88 Posts: 733 Member
    I'v done it in the past, towards the end of a 5 year relationship. It's not as fun as it sounds, i mean i was out on a trampage meeting girls etc... but then she had sex with another dude and he made the mistake of running into my fist, alot of pain, anger, broken faces. Not worth the trouble, lesson learned.
  • AtlantaBob
    AtlantaBob Posts: 129 Member
    My wife asked me to go to the store and buy some pills
    the kind that would help me get an erection

    Now I'm homeless.

    How was I supposed to know she didn't mean diet pills for her?
  • AtlantaBob
    AtlantaBob Posts: 129 Member
    I think my Battery Operated Boyfriend is having a fling with the TV remote. I don't care. Does that make our relationship an open one?


    it depends....does Bob watch porn late at night with the remote?