How not to tell myself white lies in weak moments
Lauramh31
Posts: 95 Member
I'm looking for advice from people that have had success avoiding trigger foods and/or weak moments where you could easily deviate from your plans (healthy eating or exercise). How do you get past those moments and stick to your larger plan? I'm hoping for some actual advice, not just "willpower" because it's larger than that as I convince myself in the moment that it's excusable and ok...and I really believe myself and mean what I'm telling myself. Here is an explanation of what I mean:
I want/need to cut out a lot of the candy and baked goods (my trigger foods, big time) and exercise more. However, I'm struggling with lying to myself when I get into those weak moments. For example, I'm going to have a healthy breakfast - I'll eat that yogurt and banana w/ almond butter I have at work. And I mean it. ...but then I go to dunkin donuts to get my typical morning coffee and in the moment I drive away w/ a muffin and a donut. :noway: How the heck did that happen? Well, the same thing that happens a lot - I tell myself little lies in the moment to excuse my deviation from my good intentions/pan. BUT the problem is that I really mean it when I tell myself those "lies" and THAT's the problem. I tell myself things like, "this is the last time" or "I'll work out extra tonight" or "I'll have a healthy lunch and dinner", etc. etc. I know many of you struggle w/ the same thing. I have great intentions, but then act impulsively in the moment and even worse I give myself a pep talk about why it is ok to do so....then later i regret it, vow not to do it again, etc. I don't keep my trigger foods in the house (this is a new big step), but that doesn't help w/ the weak/impulsive moments outside of the house.
Oh, and it's compounded by the fact that sometimes I go to dunkin and get only my coffee - no junk. So I don't think I have to stop going there for my coffee...just need some tips/advice for those bad days. Besides, dunkin isn't the only issue - it's a larger issue that happens other places/times as many of you know having experienced it yourself. dunkin is just a good example since that incident happened this morning.
I know I'm not the only one that does this kind of thing, so I'm asking for advice/tips on what you guys have done to get through those weak/impulsive moments.
I want/need to cut out a lot of the candy and baked goods (my trigger foods, big time) and exercise more. However, I'm struggling with lying to myself when I get into those weak moments. For example, I'm going to have a healthy breakfast - I'll eat that yogurt and banana w/ almond butter I have at work. And I mean it. ...but then I go to dunkin donuts to get my typical morning coffee and in the moment I drive away w/ a muffin and a donut. :noway: How the heck did that happen? Well, the same thing that happens a lot - I tell myself little lies in the moment to excuse my deviation from my good intentions/pan. BUT the problem is that I really mean it when I tell myself those "lies" and THAT's the problem. I tell myself things like, "this is the last time" or "I'll work out extra tonight" or "I'll have a healthy lunch and dinner", etc. etc. I know many of you struggle w/ the same thing. I have great intentions, but then act impulsively in the moment and even worse I give myself a pep talk about why it is ok to do so....then later i regret it, vow not to do it again, etc. I don't keep my trigger foods in the house (this is a new big step), but that doesn't help w/ the weak/impulsive moments outside of the house.
Oh, and it's compounded by the fact that sometimes I go to dunkin and get only my coffee - no junk. So I don't think I have to stop going there for my coffee...just need some tips/advice for those bad days. Besides, dunkin isn't the only issue - it's a larger issue that happens other places/times as many of you know having experienced it yourself. dunkin is just a good example since that incident happened this morning.
I know I'm not the only one that does this kind of thing, so I'm asking for advice/tips on what you guys have done to get through those weak/impulsive moments.
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Replies
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Log it-seeing that 400 or 500 calorie sandwich or muffin taking a huge chunk of your daily calories should be a good enough deterrent. Or, if you think it's worth it, then eat one and just fit it in to your daily allowance! No food is really bad, but if it's causing you to overeat then you have to have self control.
If it's a trigger food, you may have to just stay away. You are an adult and have to be able to say no if it's not going to help you with your goals. Also, you can lie to yourself or not log the calories, but the scale and measurements will show it if you are overeating. Your body knows, even if you don't write it down.
One thing that might be helpful is if you cave and buy a pastry or something, maybe you can keep lower calorie things in your car, like individual dark chocolates, or protein or granola bars that are just a bit sweet, so that you can have one instead of buying that huge pastry at Dunkin.0 -
I think you just have to be really specific in your plans. Instead of me telling you "Here's what I do when I feel tempted" I'm going to suggest you come up with SPECIFIC things you can do when SPECIFIC instances pop up.
For instance, breakfast. If you have breakfast waiting for you at work, why do you need to stop at DD on the way? If it's just for coffee, make a DIFFERENT plan for getting coffee. Make it yourself at home and pack it in a travel mug. Stop at 7-Eleven or a deli instead of DD. Use the coffeemaker at work. Etc.
I need to figure this out for myself for a specific time of day: after work but before dinner. My husband usually cooks and if it's not ready when I get home then I often need a snack to get through, even though I never pre-log a late afternoon snack like I do the rest of my day. Yesterday I broke down and ate several handfuls of BBQ potato chips (which were not in the house when I left for work that morning, grr!). Logged 'em and still stayed in my calorie goal, but I would have preferred to save the calories for a snack before bed. Any ideas what I can do to avoid the pre-dinner munchies?
So basically, figure out what circumstances generally cause you to deviate from your plan and make a specific guideline for how you will handle that situation...either avoid it or work it in.0 -
Next time you order a donut, order a dozen. Eat as many as you can until you are physically sick and never want one again. Worked for Peeps, Gardettos, and Doritos. Just don't do it in front of people.0
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Stop depriving yourself. There is no reason to cut out foods, unless you are sure that you can't handle them in moderation. Even with this, the cut is only temporary until you learn how to moderate.
I cut out all the foods I love at first under the assumption that it was those "fattening" foods that was causing me to gain weight. That didn't last long because I started reading here how people were eating all the foods they love in moderation and still losing weight. So, I got a food scale, started weighing everything i eat, got a heart rate monitor and logged my exercise calories, and I've lost most of my 44 pounds this way (the first ten or so were by the seat of my pants with inaccurate logging).
I lost weight eating the foods I love but learning how to moderate. I don't need to have ten cookies, I can have the serving on the package, sometimes a little less and sometimes a little more, and I am satisfied. Sometimes when I think it's a sweet I want, it's really some water because I'm thirsty instead of hungry. Other days I eat few sweets and sometimes I want something sweet at every meal Sometimes I eat over my calorie goal for a day, and under it for a day, and mix up calorie counts, and work hard to stay at goal by the end of the week. It's okay too if I'm a bit above or below goal.
Get rid of the rigidity, make sure you are eating enough calories, and that your logging is accurate. In this journey, there are no weak moments, just learning ones.
Oh, about those donuts/muffins you are buying with your coffee? You have a choice--either buy it and log it and adjust your calorie goals to allow it, or walk away.
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I used to love donuts, but about ten years ago I stopped liking them. Ask me why and I couldn't tell you. I'm glad I don't like them!Next time you order a donut, order a dozen. Eat as many as you can until you are physically sick and never want one again. Worked for Peeps, Gardettos, and Doritos. Just don't do it in front of people.0 -
For me it's a diversion trick. When I feel something like a craving coming, or my habit to want to buy a giant bag of dorito's and down the whole thing I do something else. I play a video game. I read a book. I start a fight with my room mate. I go outside! Diversion seems to be working so far. And sometimes I get a little exercise while I'm doing it.0
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Log your food for the day in the morning. Then you will see how many calories you have left over for treats.0
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I'd also say, Just don't go, but if you need to do the Dunkin' run for whatever reason, cut the food in half and throw out the rest or see if you are able to save it for later. I'd also say use it as the reward, not the motivation for going to work out extra hard.
This would mean that you work out extra hard first, then take a half of a donut for the reward. DEFINITELY get it to fit into your calorie alotment for the day though. Otherwise, you need to say, you have to work harder for the donut.
Give yourself a goal of the week and then treat yourself to that, again, HALF of a donut. Maybe this will help moderate your indulgence. Try and share the donut with someone else (this way no food waste)?
You have to reevaluate the priorities in your weak moments and motivation overall to do this. Hopefully, you're not depriving yourself to the point where you feel that need to cheat constantly, but earn your reward (promise yourself half or even whole donut if you've got that deficit showing on MFP that you can fit it into the weekly calorie count. If you didn't make it, shoot for it next week.). Ultimately, you are in the driver's seat and only you can decide to affect change in yourself. Hope these are ideas for you that you can use! :flowerforyou:0 -
HA! This sounds painful, but delicious!Next time you order a donut, order a dozen. Eat as many as you can until you are physically sick and never want one again. Worked for Peeps, Gardettos, and Doritos. Just don't do it in front of people.
But seriously, you need to be accountable and willing to make a change. Until then, there's no switch to turn it on or off.0 -
As far as I can tell, it isn't will-power at all. Instead, it is making a conscious choice.
OP, you said something like "and suddenly, I've got a muffin. Where did that come from?". What if during the process of buying a coffee, you say to yourself consciously, "I'm getting a coffee and only a coffee. That donut looks nice, but I choose not to have it." That's not to say you always have to choose NOT to have it, but knowing that you made the specific choice one way or the other is a great step.
The other day, I drove by Wendy's. I wanted me some Wendy's! Instead, I made the conscious choice to go home, do a little workout and then have a healthier meal. But it was MY choice, no Wendy's!0 -
Get coffee elsewhere! Like you, baked goods are my trigger. I have a hard time resisting them. They aren't banned from my life, but there are times in moments of weakness when they end up eaten outside of special occasions. The best way to avoid a trigger...stay away from the source! Alcoholics don't purposely go into bars for a glass of water. Dieters shouldn't go to Dunkin Donuts JUST for coffee. Their coffee isn't even that good! Plus they sell their coffee grounds at the grocery store, so you could have that same flavor at home!0
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You just have to stop doing it. Before you go pick up your coffee, look at your food diary - do you have room left in your calories for a muffin? No, then don't get one. Yes, then go ahead and get one. It's really that simple.
Or as someone else suggested, try to avoid DD altogether for a while.0 -
I discovered that, sometimes, what I eat for breakfast influences my appetite for the entire day. If I have oatmeal and honey for breakfast (or, I suppose, anything sweet) I am more likely to overeat or binge on sweets or junk food during the day. On the other hand, I noticed that when I eat a hard-boiled egg, tomatoes, a red pepper and ham, for example I control my appetite way better.
I'm not saying it has to work for you, but I figure it has something to do with my sugar levels. Maybe it's the case.0 -
If getting your coffee from Dunkin Donuts is something you completely refuse to give up then I would start by setting a plan of action for the days you do go. Depriving yourself is not the solution but moderation is the key. Pick one day of the week and challenge yourself to only get one donut on that day and try sticking to that.
For the other days, you said you convince yourself that in the moment that it's excusable and ok. How about next time your about to place your order you try convincing yourself of reasons why you don't need that donut. "That donut won't help me on the scale" or "I really want extra calories today for that x after dinner", or "This won't help me get down to the next jean size".
I have walked away from numerous candy bars doing this lol0 -
Next time you order a donut, order a dozen. Eat as many as you can until you are physically sick and never want one again. Worked for Peeps, Gardettos, and Doritos. Just don't do it in front of people.
I didn't work for Homer
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If you're eating breakfast before going to DD to get your coffee, this sounds like habit or emotional eating. No way to know for sure from your post, but you can figure that one out on your own probably.
I used to work there for many summers and years after high school, and we had lots of DD coffee addicts. One of the ladies that came in every single day for coffee told me in the beginning not to allow her to buy any baked goods because she was in the military and needed to keep her eating under control to "make weight". She admitted that donuts and pastries were her weakness and she had no control. I'm sure that took a lot of courage to say to a complete stranger.
Of course, she drank her medium coffee with 16 shots of cream, so she was consuming a fair amount of calories with her "white" coffee. But there you go...she asked for help, and we gladly gave it to her. As employees, and even when I was the manager, there was no sense in trying to up-sell to someone that made it clear she didn't want us to do so, and we kept that customer long term. And it always feels good to help someone, doesn't it?0 -
I know you said not to tell you to just stop and mind over the matter, etc, etc, etc... but truth is that's the only tips we can give you.
I used to order in about 5 times a week for diner. The menu was laying there, i was tired, didn't feel like cooking... and I ended up eating 1k and more of pizza and burgers everyday, my level of hungriness was not even considered at the time. Unfortunately, you just have to be stronger than the little voice in your head telling you you want the donuts. You don't want it for real, you just like getting it because it's comforting and easier.
You can try small tips like giving yourself a pep talking going in, try the drive through instead of walk in so you don't see the donuts, put a picture of you you don't like or a picture of the body you want in your wallet so you see it every time you order... but at the end of the day if you lie to yourself and believe it no amount of tips will work if you don't actually want to see the truth. You have to stop saying i'll be healthy tonight, do it now. Better yet, if you want the donuts so bad, get it, it's not bad in itself for you, just work it in your daily intake.0 -
Willpower is a limited resource and overrated too. This is what I do: Create a support system, something along the line of the emergency exits in tunnels.
-Make sure I'm nourished, and as rested and relaxed as possible. I eat five solid meals every day, three hours apart, and meet my macro and micro goals.
-Plot when and where I will meet temptations, and avoid going anywhere near those, at least until I feel stronger. If I have to, I'll go as quickly as possible and pretend I'm blind and deaf.
-Only eat yummy food, food that is so good that I in 99 out of 100 instances will prefer that to any junk, and food that makes me satisfied, not more hungry.
-Allow myself to eat a little junk, when I really, really, want to, and have room for it, and preferably when I'm with friends. Knowing that someone else can watch how much I eat, makes me slow down, and I learn to associate party food with actual party, not something to stuff in my face when I'm alone and in a quagmire of self-pity.
Adam Gilbert has some really good articles on this:
http://www.mybodytutor.com/blog/2014/02/why-trusting-ourselves-in-the-future-is-hurting-us/
http://www.mybodytutor.com/blog/2014/07/how-to-delay-gratification-a-mindset-to-get-over-cravings/0 -
For me it's a diversion trick. When I feel something like a craving coming, or my habit to want to buy a giant bag of dorito's and down the whole thing I do something else. I play a video game. I read a book. I start a fight with my room mate. I go outside! Diversion seems to be working so far. And sometimes I get a little exercise while I'm doing it.
^ this. diversion for the win. and it sounds like you are setting yourself up for failure by going to dd for your coffee. yeah sometimes you win but other times you give in. take out that factor. get your coffee elsewhere that doesn't foster those smells.
the other thing I've done is ask myself WHY I want it. What would I get out of it? Is it WORTH it? REALLY WORTH IT...0 -
I just log EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. Last night I logged one chick-fil-a chicken nugget and one waffle fry, even though I was well under my calories (I'm sick and my appetite sucked yestetday). That is how I have lost 70lbs in 20 weeks.
Just being mindful has gradually led me into better choices. I seldom want cake, cookies, ice cream or salty/gready snacks anymore, but if I really want it, I pay attention and make room in my calories for it. No mindless eating, period.
ETA: I eat dark chocolate daily, and I still get Starbucks 2-4 times a week. I just get a tall plain latte instead of a venti caramel machiatto.0 -
This may not be the answer you want to hear, but this was the truth for me at least.
You just have to stop. It's as hard and as simple as that. You have the ability to not get donuts after having breakfast, to not snack on chips before dinner, to not have 2 pieces of cake and a pint of ice cream. It's not as simple as flipping a switch on or off, but eventually something will "click" and you'll get it.
In all honesty, anyone can justify eating anything if they think about it long enough. You have to make a conscious effort to tell yourself "I'm not going to have this, I will wait for lunch." or "I will have this other thing instead." It's much harder to tell yourself no than it is to give in, but it's worth it. You have to keep your end goal in mind and just do it.0 -
LOL, that was a brilliant idea SonicDeathMon to cure the desire for a unhealthy food!!: :happy:0
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I think you just have to start making good choices until those become your new routine/habit. It starts with saying no once, then the next time, etc. It's a hard cycle to stop, but you can.
When I'm craving something, I tell myself I'll skip it today but I can have it tomorrow. Usually, when tomorrow comes, I'm over the craving so I skip it! It helps me a lot - maybe it will help you? I also think about how I've had the food I'm wanting so many times, I know what it tastes like, it's not that special.
When I'm exercising, I do the same thing. I aim for 45 mins of whatever, and I'm usually ready to give up around 5 minutes in. So I tell myself, "okay, I'll just go for another minute and then I'm done" and then the minutes up and I realize I still have enough energy, I can do this!
Good luck! You can do it, just one day (meal) at a time.0 -
-Only eat yummy food, food that is so good that I in 99 out of 100 instances will prefer that to any junk, and food that makes me satisfied, not more hungry.
All really good tips, but ^^this^^ is the key for me. When it's that 1 in 100th time, it's always a let down and then I remember why I genuinely enjoy the good stuff more.0 -
I just log EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. Last night I logged one chick-fil-a chicken nugget and one waffle fry, even though I was well under my calories (I'm sick and my appetite sucked yestetday). That is how I have lost 70lbs in 20 weeks.
Just being mindful has gradually led me into better choices. I seldom want cake, cookies, ice cream or salty/gready snacks anymore, but if I really want it, I pay attention and make room in my calories for it. No mindless eating, period.
ETA: I eat dark chocolate daily, and I still get Starbucks 2-4 times a week. I just get a tall plain latte instead of a venti caramel machiatto.
I'm the same way, I log EVERYthing. It's become a little obsession/game for me. My first time on here I lost 65 pounds that way. (Gained it back from pregnancy and a wonked up thyroid.) But I'm 10 pounds down now. I hardly ever crave anything bad because I log it, see how screwy my day would become and realize it's not worth it. Also maybe try bringing your food at work home then eat breakfast at home and it might help with the cravings but if you are absolutely going to have that muffin then try to change to a healthier type of muffin. Bran or Corn something like that.0 -
I just log EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. Last night I logged one chick-fil-a chicken nugget and one waffle fry, even though I was well under my calories (I'm sick and my appetite sucked yestetday). That is how I have lost 70lbs in 20 weeks.
Just being mindful has gradually led me into better choices. I seldom want cake, cookies, ice cream or salty/gready snacks anymore, but if I really want it, I pay attention and make room in my calories for it. No mindless eating, period.
ETA: I eat dark chocolate daily, and I still get Starbucks 2-4 times a week. I just get a tall plain latte instead of a venti caramel machiatto.
Wow- you lost 70 pounds in 20 weeks?!? We all need to pause for a moment of silence to honor you. Was that your goal when you started? That is the most amazing thing I have read on here.
I too want that sort of success. You log every single bite? Is that the only key to rapid/consistent fat melt? Kuddos to you!!0 -
I just log EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. Last night I logged one chick-fil-a chicken nugget and one waffle fry, even though I was well under my calories (I'm sick and my appetite sucked yestetday). That is how I have lost 70lbs in 20 weeks.
Just being mindful has gradually led me into better choices. I seldom want cake, cookies, ice cream or salty/gready snacks anymore, but if I really want it, I pay attention and make room in my calories for it. No mindless eating, period.
ETA: I eat dark chocolate daily, and I still get Starbucks 2-4 times a week. I just get a tall plain latte instead of a venti caramel machiatto.
Wow- you lost 70 pounds in 20 weeks?!? We all need to pause for a moment of silence to honor you. Was that your goal when you started? That is the most amazing thing I have read on here.
I too want that sort of success. You log every single bite? Is that the only key to rapid/consistent fat melt? Kuddos to you!!
Starting at 375lbs, I can drop weight alot faster than people who were not so heavy. It will slow down as my weight decreases, but for now I will cherish my 3.5lbs per week. It really is as simple as self-discipline and making conscious decisions vs mindless ones. I have thought about getting something, realized the 600+ calories in my diary were not worth it, and just passed. Many times. It also helps that as the time has passed I have become conscious of my macros. I feel alot more satisfied on a balanced diet (105g carbs, 50g fat and 120g protein are my macros), than I do if I eat carb heavy.
Now sometimes, like last week, I decide that the arctic cod sandwich with steak fries, on a real bun, with tartar sauce, is worth it. I went over my calorie goal that day, but only in a limited fashion, and I stayed within my calories for the week as a whole. It is important not to treat every slip like a big deal: log it, own it, move on.
You -can- do this.0 -
I totally feel you. If I'm heading to the coffee shop in the morning it's *so hard* to not also grab a pastry to eat... that was my morning breakfast routine for years, and there's something so delicious about the coffee with the sweetness of the pastry. I know I can tell myself that I just don't need it/shouldn't have it, but yes, I also have those moments of self-sabotage where I will justify *anything* for what I'm craving that very moment.
So, now when I'm running into the coffee shop in the morning on my way to work, I extract $2 from my wallet and then leave my wallet in the car. I have enough to pay for my coffee, and nothing else. If I walk in with my wallet in hand, I may walk out with something more than just coffee once I see that delicious bakery display. But I never walk in with my $2, see something I want, then walk back out to my car just to get more money. Not once. I just pay for my coffee and leave.
I also have enough of a grasp on how much pastries "cost," calorie-wise, that I'll often think of all the other things I could be having *more* for the same cost as that one pastry, like "that one muffin is at least 3 Skinny Cow ice cream bars!" That helps too. 0 -
What helps me is to know my temptations and then avoiding them. Also, to help myself be mindful about these things by writing them down (journaling or adding it to my logging). To take your examples:For example, I'm going to have a healthy breakfast - I'll eat that yogurt and banana w/ almond butter I have at work. And I mean it. ...but then I go to dunkin donuts to get my typical morning coffee and in the moment I drive away w/ a muffin and a donut.
You know this happens, so you can plan for it. One thought is to eat before you go to DD, and another is not to go to DD. Make coffee at home or get it where you won't be tempted until you are stronger in the face of it. For me, just eating at home prevents me from wanting to get my old breakfast at the place downstairs from work, and now that I'm in the habit I couldn't imagine changing back, because I prefer my current breakfast. Here, your breakfast sounds like one you could have easily at home.
Worst case, when you do this force yourself to toss the DD purchase and eat your breakfast. The wasted money would bum me out such that I'd stop it.I know I'm not the only one that does this kind of thing, so I'm asking for advice/tips on what you guys have done to get through those weak/impulsive moments.
Realize that putting yourself into temptations that are hard to withstand is basically asking for failure in that eventually you will cave. It's not an always thing, but try to make it easier for yourself by knowing where you have trouble (write it down--in the evening set out what worked and didn't) and avoiding those situations. If you do badly when you get too hungry, add a snack or make sure you have food available so won't have to skip a meal. If it's certain places, avoid them, or avoid them at certain times. There are strong associations if you've always done something, so you have to get yourself out of that.
At least, these are the kinds of things that worked for me.0 -
Next time you order a donut, order a dozen. Eat as many as you can until you are physically sick and never want one again. Worked for Peeps, Gardettos, and Doritos. Just don't do it in front of people.
I didn't work for Homer
And it won't work for chronic compulsive overeaters either (raising hand). In fact, eating in secret and eating things like donuts until I was physically sick were things I did every day for about 10 years. So no...it doesn't work.0
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