I can't do it...I dont have it in me

I have tried so hard. I tried to cut out soda and snacks...and it only gets worse/...I crave it and want it... I am almost 30 pounds higher than when I started a year ago....do..Do I just accept the fact that I am going to be fat... that I am not going to be attractive to people... that I am going to feel like this forever.
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Replies

  • You CAN do it! I know that it is hard. I have major sugar cravings myself. One thing that has really worked for me is Advocare. It helps with my cravings and I get results Crazy fast!! I quit using it for 2 years (went through my drinking phase) and gained almost all of it back. I have been doing this for two days and the results are encouraging me to quit eating the junk! :) Other thing that helps (IDK if you do this already) preparing food for the week and making sure there is no junk food in the house!!
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    Replace soda with sparkling water or diet soda, and increase your calories a little bit to fit in snacks if they're absolutely necessary. Losing more slowly is better than not losing at all.
  • 365andstillalive
    365andstillalive Posts: 663 Member
    No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.

    What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.

    You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.

    You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.

    Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.

    Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.


    You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.
  • Cheekies_
    Cheekies_ Posts: 319 Member
    No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.

    What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.

    You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.

    You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.

    Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.

    Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.


    You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.


    Love! :flowerforyou:
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
    No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.

    What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.

    You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.

    You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.

    Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.

    Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.


    You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.

    OP. Please read and re-read the above.

    Then put it to work.

    Too massive a calorie restriction will lead to a lack of self-control and binging.

    A moderate calorie deficit, varied diet (yes, you can have soda, or whatever, if it fits your calorie budget) and plenty of protein will keep you satiated whilst you consistently lose weight and avoid counter productive snack-attacks.
  • Azurite27
    Azurite27 Posts: 554 Member
    In addition to the other posts (which have some great advice)....

    There's no need to cut out snacking all together. Learn to incorporate healthy snacks with the occasional unhealthy one in moderation.

    I personally cut out soda because I would rather use the calories on solid food and it was nothing but a caffeine delivery system to me, I replaced it with black coffee and zero calorie water enhancers. But I didn't do it over night, it was a gradual process. If you like soda because it's soda, maybe you can replace it with carbonated flavored water. Or just learn to fit it in your calories in moderation.
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
    No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.

    What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.

    You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.

    You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.

    Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.

    Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.


    You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.

    :drinker:
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

    ― Henry Ford
  • You can lose many battles...but still win the war in the end.

    I know that sounds kind of goofy, but it's true. Just do the best you can everyday. That's all you can do.
  • swat1948
    swat1948 Posts: 302 Member
    Reach down inside yourself and find the winner you can be! If I found it, anyone can! You can do it!
  • Jaywalker_7
    Jaywalker_7 Posts: 68 Member
    You can lose many battles...but still win the war in the end.

    I know that sounds kind of goofy, but it's true. Just do the best you can everyday. That's all you can do.


    Love this. This mentality has gotten me through many, many days. I am learning but feel like I'm constantly screwing up. But, I'm still losing! Slowly, but that's better than gaining!
  • There is no need to eliminate anything from your diet.

    Weigh/measure it. Log it. And move on. You can fit most things into your calorie goals.

    When I first started I knew what my "triggers" were. One being that I LOVE to have a snack at night after my kid goes to bed and I'm relaxing. So I left calories for that snack. I have ate before bed pretty much every night for 3 years and I've been successful (71+lbs and over 40" sooooo.....).

    I drink Diet Coke daily.

    I have not eliminated any food from my diet. I do, however, make the best nutritional choices I can make, although to be honest that has more to do with my fitness goals and how it makes me feel vs weight loss.

    Being active also helps a great deal.

    "Do or do no, there is no try" - Yoda
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    all of us feel that way but you can do it, it takes discipline and be willing to do the work. Log your calories. That is basically it.

    It is like spending too much money and you will be broke, same goes with food, eat too much and you get fat. Believe that you can learn to live a different way and treat yourself good, take care of yourself not do all the destructive overeating. I don't have it in me, who does? It is hard but worth it. Start now while you are young with good habits, say I have had enough and stop and fill up with some filling foods. People on here will help support you, that says a lot.
  • willdob3
    willdob3 Posts: 640 Member
    You can lose many battles...but still win the war in the end.

    I know that sounds kind of goofy, but it's true. Just do the best you can everyday. That's all you can do.

    Very true. I remind myself of this often. I've lost many battles but I am winning the war. Over 125 lbs gone despite being human & thus not perfect or even close to it. I keep working toward my goals.
  • derrickyoung
    derrickyoung Posts: 136 Member
    The only reason you can not do it is because you are choosing not to. It is a choice you make everyday as you reach for a soda or or sweets or over eat. When you decide you are willing to put in the effort you will be able to do it. The cravings for sweets or high calorie foods gets better and easier to manage. Start by figuring out what your triggers are. Stress, Sleep (lack of), Certain foods, emotions and then put in place plans to deal with the root cause of your over eating or not willingness to stick to it.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    If you want it bad enough, you'll find a way. You don't have to cut out anything from your diet, just learn moderation
  • It's tough. Our bodies get hard wired to crave sugars, sodas, and carbs. It can feel like an addiction when coming off those foods. I found that the Mio water additives help with the soda and sweets addiction. So did the 16 day liquid diet my doctor put me on preop that consisted entirely of protein shakes (I used chocolate flavor "premier protein") and sugar free jello. After 2 weeks of nothing but sweet stuff I was done with sweets and found that even chicken broth tasted divine.

    You can do it, you do have it in you, you just have to set realistic goals. Don't try to lose 2 pounds a week. Try to lose .5 pounds a week. You'll find it's a lot easier to stick with the daily caloric intake that MFP recommends, you won't feel as deprived, and you can see where your weak points are and devise a strategy to work around them.

    Best of luck!
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.
  • Grammie4VT
    Grammie4VT Posts: 35 Member
    “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

    ― Henry Ford

    True statement! It isn't easy, but you have to have confidence in yourself.

    Another quote I like is: If it is to be, it is up to me!
  • samthepanda
    samthepanda Posts: 569 Member
    Lots of very good advice on here. Please read, and re-read and then stick to your fridge!

    I felt like this for many years, but finally something clicked and I lost 70lbs and I have maintained for over 2 years. For me, in the beginning it was about working out what I could do without, and what I really wanted to have, but finding ways that weren't too bad, eg buying funsize chocolate bars (and just one pack of ones I liked - I bought coconut ones for the boys as I don't like it so there was never too much chocolate I would eat in the house). We used to have a lot of convenience food so I looked for healthier quick easy meals to make better use of those calories! I started exercising at home, behind curtains, with a Wii fit, and eventually discovered I quite liked it.

    Your are amazing, beautiful person whatever your size or shape, and you need to start to believe that before you expect others too xxx
  • BekaBooluvsu
    BekaBooluvsu Posts: 470 Member
    I said the same thing 9 months and today I'm down 86#. I learned really quick to tell myself positive lies such as "You CAN do this, I love this food (even as I was throwing it up), I can walk comfortably (even though I was crying from my broken back & couldn't last long)"

    Now, I love healthy food, am down some weight and I am finally starting to love myself as I am for the first time in my life. It's a beautiful feeling. I don't lose weight every week and I do have bad days. The point is not to let it get you down.

    Also, have you had your blood tested for diabetes or thyroid problems?
    I have both and when there out of whack I did it harder to lose.

    Good luck, no matter what you do! :flowerforyou:
  • "I don't know what I SHOULD do. All I know is what I CAN do." ~ James T. Kirk
  • sheepysaccount
    sheepysaccount Posts: 608 Member
    Just don't cut out soda and snacks? Instead go for smaller portions? I have something chocolate or ice cream pretty much every day and my scale numbers are going down.
  • fitasacello
    fitasacello Posts: 34 Member
    On behalf of the 30-somethings (and older) who didn't make it until our age, you're starting with a leg up on us! You got this one. Start today.
  • Fatandfifty3
    Fatandfifty3 Posts: 419 Member
    You don't have to get bigger and bigger. You don't have to be a 'perfect 10' either. What we all need is to have a better relationship with ourselves and our bodies. What does eating do for you (apart from keeping body and soul together!)? Are you comfort eating? Bored? Try to find your trigger and address that. I've been a lifelong fatty and couldn't stick to a diet for longer than 5 weeks. i topped the scale last year at 244lbs. At 5' 6" that wasn't pretty. I have tried, with varying degrees of success, every diet going. Last year I discovered the 5:2 or Fast or Alternate Day diet. After a fit and start I am here, 49lbs lighter and 15 weeks of continuous diet. This diet works for me. I think its a case of finding what diet works for you and one you can live with. For me this is not about denial (I don't do denial) and I've changed my whole relationship with food and with that I've got a better relationship with me.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    OP, I know you need more than motivational one-liners, so I just gonna leave this right here. These few threads are key (IMHO) to successful, sustainable weight loss without all the unnecessary misery.

    Read these:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1217573-so-you-want-to-start-running

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13

    TL:DR the link right above this one then ->http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet

    Excuses??? http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2014/06/02/the-no-excuses-play-like-a-champion-challenge/

    If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal

    Want to lift heavy things?
    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

    Stronglifts Summary
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary

    Stronglifts Womens Group
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/4601-stronglifts-5x5-for-women
  • moonbeams896
    moonbeams896 Posts: 191 Member
    I was like this up until very recently. I lost about 20 pounds on nutrisystem and as soon as I stopped, I put all the weight back on and then some. A few months ago, one day I decided I wanted to start a food journal. I found MFP and began my journey. Then I started exercising. Now I'm steadily losing weight and have no desire to go back to the large portions I was eating.

    It's all a matter of getting into the right mindset. If you're not ready to accept that this is a lifelong change, then you will fail. You have to embrace turning things around and making some compromises (ie flavored water instead of soda). There will be things you have to give up (at least somewhat), so you have to decide what's most important to you.

    Good luck! Feel free to friend me and we'll help motivate each other along the way. I couldn't do this without a little help from my friends.
  • AnnofB
    AnnofB Posts: 3,589 Member
    No -- instead, accept the fact that this is going to take effort and time.

    What you're going to do, is make a commitment to yourself and those important to you to get healthy.

    You're going to calculate your BMR and your TDEE, and create a weight loss plan that has you eating at least to your BMR if not slightly higher.

    You're going to weigh/measure your food as accurately as you can (for most, this means a scale) and record it every single day, and work hard to stay within your calories/macros, while allowing yourself to eat foods you love. This literally means anything, including the odd soda.


    Weight loss really, barring a significant medical condition, is about calories in and calories out. If you've put on weight, it's because you've been eating/drinking more calories that your body needs. It's time to be conscious of that.

    Want to eat more? Then you'll have to exercise.


    You can do this and will do this if you want to. The onus is on you. You can continue to eat more than you need, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food. It's your choice.

    Excellent advice. ^^
  • AnnofB
    AnnofB Posts: 3,589 Member
    You can lose many battles...but still win the war in the end.

    I know that sounds kind of goofy, but it's true. Just do the best you can everyday. That's all you can do.

    So true. You don't have to be perfect everyday. One bad choice or setback is not the end. Just get back right back to your plan and keep going. Don't beat yourself up over it. Remember the times when you stuck with it and gain power from that. Best of luck to you. :flowerforyou:
  • AnnofB
    AnnofB Posts: 3,589 Member
    OP, I know you need more than motivational one-liners, so I just gonna leave this right here. These few threads are key (IMHO) to successful, sustainable weight loss without all the unnecessary misery.

    Read these:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here?hl=so+you're+new+here

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1217573-so-you-want-to-start-running

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13

    TL:DR the link right above this one then ->http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet

    Excuses??? http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2014/06/02/the-no-excuses-play-like-a-champion-challenge/

    If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal
    If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal

    Want to lift heavy things?
    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

    Stronglifts Summary
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary

    Stronglifts Womens Group
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/4601-stronglifts-5x5-for-women

    Calliope, awesome list!