Husbands! Need your advice!
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I would not be offended at all. That would tell me that she is interested in my well-being.
As men, we tend to be very results-oriented. If something isn't working, we look for another approach, sometimes to the point of not giving the current approach enough time to yield results.
This is exactly him!0 -
Especially if I was already trying to lose weight, I would certainly not be offended by the show of support! You sound like you really care about him. If you think it will help; why not get it for him...0
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YES! I have noticed his body changing some. he cut out soda also! and so many other bad foods. we did that over the course of 3 months.
I think I will also start taking his measurements! that's a fab idea! I keep trying to tell him the scale isn't important! he is working out and muscle is heavier than fat! he might not be loosing because he is replacing with muscle!
thank you!
^^THIS
Tape measure. Tape measure. Tape measure. It's the best monitoring tool you can buy. It also happens to be the cheapest and easiest to use.0 -
If it were me? No, I would love it as I love fitness gadgets. Only you can know how your husband will react though.
That said I think a better present may be a digital food scale...
we have a good scale. I prep all the food. He logs everything he eats here. he just doesn't agree that he uses up as many calories as the apps say or that I tell him he is
He is usually a really techie gadgety guy. he used to have the nike + fuelband.. but that doesn't hep me, we know we move lol.
Sounds like you guys are doing the right things but I think it will be a waste of money however.
You appear to want to convince him to eat more based on a more individualised reading that presumably a lifestyle tracker will give over and above the generic recommendations of MFP. I personally don't think that will convince him because in reality they are all just "ballpark" figures and if you guys have a general idea of your activity levels you are probably have a reasonable estimate to work off anyway. He sounds quite savvy and I expect he understands that.
In all honesty I think just your undivided support may be a better gift
he gets that! We are doing this life style change together. The results are happening faster for me BUT I am doing exactly what all the tools on MFP are telling me! I try and keep my calories up even when i'm not hungry! I'll force myself to eat enough ( almonds or cheese or fruits ) to get close to my cal goal for the day.
he wont.
if he eats only 1100 cals in a day, he wont try and eat more. He was feeling sick over the weekend ( which I wasn't surprsided about ). 
I just want him to success and be happy and healthy. 0 -
Depending on his height yes he may be under eating which has a direct impact on weightloss. His body may be going into starvation mode to preserve the calories he is eating. I am all about the fitness gadgets just can't always afford them though.
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My husband has cut out soda and has lost 4 inches around his waist without the scale changing. I think the bodymedia band is a great idea IF it is sensible for your current budget and if you are able to make somewhat large purchases without consulting the other. Otherwise I would suggest taking measurements so that he can see the inches coming off even if the scale isn't moving.
YES! I have noticed his body changing some. he cut out soda also! and so many other bad foods. we did that over the course of 3 months.
I think I will also start taking his measurements! that's a fab idea! I keep trying to tell him the scale isn't important! he is working out and muscle is heavier than fat! he might not be loosing because he is replacing with muscle!
thank you!oh.. and there is no cheating on his diet where I wouldn't know about. No foods I don't know about because i've been home from work for 5 weeks with him on holidays (and he works from home).
He is getting almost scared of food
1. The "bad" foods thing and the "almost getting scared of food" thing is a little troubling
2. You can't be 100% certain he isn't sneaking food, unless you monitor his every movement. I went through 6 weeks of basic training and we snuck food around the dormitories right in front of the training instructors who supposedly knew everything. Just sayin'0 -
YES! I have noticed his body changing some. he cut out soda also! and so many other bad foods. we did that over the course of 3 months.
I think I will also start taking his measurements! that's a fab idea! I keep trying to tell him the scale isn't important! he is working out and muscle is heavier than fat! he might not be loosing because he is replacing with muscle!
thank you!
^^THIS
Tape measure. Tape measure. Tape measure. It's the best monitoring tool you can buy. It also happens to be the cheapest and easiest to use.
yes!
I think I'm going to do both.
If he gets offended and doesn't want it, i'll get the smaller band and keep it for myself :P , but I have a feeling he will like it. he is my handsome geek and loves anything gadgety. I'm just worried he might be offended that I would purchase something for him to help him like this. I doubt he would, but i'm not a guy... i'm a girl... I know many girls would get offended.
I will be breaking out my tape measurement and telling him we are both doing our measurements from here on in.
Again... I know I say it a lot..
But you people on MFP are so awesome! Ty so much!!0 -
Depending on his height yes he may be under eating which has a direct impact on weightloss. His body may be going into starvation mode to preserve the calories he is eating. I am all about the fitness gadgets just can't always afford them though.
No, no, no0 -
My question for you guys:
Would you feel offended if your lovely wife bought you a Bodymedia band or something similar? Something the would more accurately calculate his heart rate and his calories burned in a day? ( or a similar product )
Would you be upset that your wife took it upon herself to do this?
Would *I* be offended? No.
Would your husband be offended? No idea, I've never met him.0 -
Depending on his height yes he may be under eating which has a direct impact on weightloss. His body may be going into starvation mode to preserve the calories he is eating. I am all about the fitness gadgets just can't always afford them though.
this is exaclty what i'm thinking! he is 5'11" and 200 lbs.. he is eating the same amount as his wife who is under 5 feet and not even close to his weight.0 -
My husband has cut out soda and has lost 4 inches around his waist without the scale changing. I think the bodymedia band is a great idea IF it is sensible for your current budget and if you are able to make somewhat large purchases without consulting the other. Otherwise I would suggest taking measurements so that he can see the inches coming off even if the scale isn't moving.
YES! I have noticed his body changing some. he cut out soda also! and so many other bad foods. we did that over the course of 3 months.
I think I will also start taking his measurements! that's a fab idea! I keep trying to tell him the scale isn't important! he is working out and muscle is heavier than fat! he might not be loosing because he is replacing with muscle!
thank you!oh.. and there is no cheating on his diet where I wouldn't know about. No foods I don't know about because i've been home from work for 5 weeks with him on holidays (and he works from home).
He is getting almost scared of food
1. The "bad" foods thing and the "almost getting scared of food" thing is a little troubling
2. You can't be 100% certain he isn't sneaking food, unless you monitor his every movement. I went through 6 weeks of basic training and we snuck food around the dormitories right in front of the training instructors who supposedly knew everything. Just sayin'
He tells me what he eats that isn't here. He isn't a sneak lol and yes the scared of calories is very troubling! He thinks he is only using up 1500-1700 cals a day, so he has to sutract 300-500 from that! which is where I AM! not him!
He has gone out once or twice this month and had 2 beers ( so 4 beers in a month ). He tells me. and he logs it. He is meticulous about logging it! Even butter he logs! everything! lol0 -
Depending on his height yes he may be under eating which has a direct impact on weightloss. His body may be going into starvation mode to preserve the calories he is eating. I am all about the fitness gadgets just can't always afford them though.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Thanks, I needed that on a Monday morning.0 -
he gets that! We are doing this life style change together. The results are happening faster for me BUT I am doing exactly what all the tools on MFP are telling me! I try and keep my calories up even when i'm not hungry! I'll force myself to eat enough ( almonds or cheese or fruits ) to get close to my cal goal for the day.
he wont.
if he eats only 1100 cals in a day, he wont try and eat more. He was feeling sick over the weekend ( which I wasn't surprsided about ). I just want him to success and be happy and healthy.
There's not much you can do about that in my view. His emotions seem to be driving his thought processes at present. Trying to persuade someone who is emotionally invested in a certain way of thinking is very difficult unless they come to a different way of thinking for themselves. The lifestyle tracker is a sticking plaster on a wound in this scenario.
I think a chat along the lines of "I love you. I support you. I would prefer if you followed the MFP guidelines with me but I respect your decisions" may go far further in convincing him in the long term than a purchased gift.
However, close scrutiny at calorie intake through diet must be the first port of call along with an unconscious eating which is taking place (this is remarkably easy to do and forget about). Measurements, photos, tracking fitness improvements as measures of success are also good ideas.0 -
Soapbox alert - Muscle is not heavier than fat. 1 pound is 1 pound. Muscle is denser than fat, but not heavier. So if I take a pound of feathers it is 16 ounces and a pound of lead is 16 ounces. One fills several, several pillow cases and one fills the palm of ones hand.
Get a sixteen ounce steak (muscle) and sixteen ounces of lard (fat) and look at the difference in space taken up. But a pound is a pound, density is another matter. (Sorry, soapbox over.)
As to the fitness tracker, if he would use it then get it. I would, but I struggle with the same issue he does, it's almost as if my body does not want to change. I have lost an inch around the middle, but the scale is the same (that density thing, muscle takes up less space for the same weight) This is why your average NFL linebacker weighs the same as your Arnold Schwarzenegger in his bodybuilding heyday, but they look way different.
The idea you seem to have grasped onto about measuring (neck, chest, biceps, stomach, waist, thigh) is a good one. Measure and record on a weekly or bi-weekly schedule, along with weight.
I hope this helps. Also, someone mentioned men tend to be results driven, this is so true. Hugs are huge and while they don't change results, my pain at not losing is lessened because I know my wife cares and my efforts, while they may not be producing tangible results, are noticed and appreciated.0 -
He isn't going into starvation mode, he isn't building muscle in a month to offset any weight loss. He's most likely eating more than he thinks or he would be losing.
I said earlier I wouldn't be offended about the gadget and I wouldn't, but I might be offended that my SO is trying to be responsible for me. He's an adult if he wants help he can post a topic, or look around for information.0 -
My very amazing husband is currently struggling with loosing weight. He is eating right and working out. But the scale isn't changing. *I* see the changes! It has only been a month, but he is getting frustrated. I hate seeing him like this.
I personally feel he isn't eating enough calories! He thinks he needs to cut them more!!! he is a foot taller than me and eating only about 300 cals more than me a day!
My question for you guys:
Would you feel offended if your lovely wife bought you a Bodymedia band or something similar? Something the would more accurately calculate his heart rate and his calories burned in a day? ( or a similar product )
Would you be upset that your wife took it upon herself to do this?
Only you can predict how your husband will react. We cannot help you with this.
MY husband probably wouldn't like it, and may be slightly offended. I just know this based on his personality. He knows I would love it if he bought it for me. I love all things fitness. It's a hobby of mine. He doesn't share my passion for fitness though. He lifts,works out and is in great shape, but doesn't share my level of enthusiasm.
so on point.
Same for mine- (but he's not actively trying to do anything RAGE RAGE RAGE) but he would think I'm nagging him. Even though I never bring it up. It's a point of contention at this point for us- so if I bought him something like that- it would NOT be well received.
Hahaha. If I bought him a fitness gadget, it would be like him buying me a new alternator for his car. Uhhhh.... Thanks babe. It's what I've always wanted! Lol. Different hobbies, different passions.0 -
Soapbox alert - Muscle is not heavier than fat. 1 pound is 1 pound. Muscle is denser than fat, but not heavier. So if I take a pound of feathers it is 16 ounces and a pound of lead is 16 ounces. One fills several, several pillow cases and one fills the palm of ones hand.
Get a sixteen ounce steak (muscle) and sixteen ounces of lard (fat) and look at the difference in space taken up. But a pound is a pound, density is another matter. (Sorry, soapbox over.)
As to the fitness tracker, if he would use it then get it. I would, but I struggle with the same issue he does, it's almost as if my body does not want to change. I have lost an inch around the middle, but the scale is the same (that density thing, muscle takes up less space for the same weight) This is why your average NFL linebacker weighs the same as your Arnold Schwarzenegger in his bodybuilding heyday, but they look way different.
The idea you seem to have grasped onto about measuring (neck, chest, biceps, stomach, waist, thigh) is a good one. Measure and record on a weekly or bi-weekly schedule, along with weight.
I hope this helps. Also, someone mentioned men tend to be results driven, this is so true. Hugs are huge and while they don't change results, my pain at not losing is lessened because I know my wife cares and my efforts, while they may not be producing tangible results, are noticed and appreciated.
yes, you are right. but it's what I meant but said it wrong.
I see him changing. He's shirts are looser and his pants are looser.. but he is stuck on the weight. He "can't" ( maybe isn't ready to say? ) that the weight doesn't matter. that muscle will take up less room but weight the same as the fat that was taking up more space.
I just wish he saw himself the way I see him.0 -
He needs to eat higher calories than that. I know I recently checked my BMR because I had lost a lot of my energy after MFP dropped my calories to 1420. I adjusted my settings now I'm back up to 1620.
I'm a 5'7" woman. If he eats to little he's going to lose muscle.0 -
If I had a nickel for every time I've heard the phrase "Husbands! Need your advice!" I would have well, a nickel! lol
But to answer....I would love it if my wife would buy me exercise, fitness related things but, I'll let her keep getting mani's and Pedi's and the occasional kinky outfit from the lingerie shop. I'm pretty easy to please. lol0 -
My very amazing husband is currently struggling with loosing weight. He is eating right and working out. But the scale isn't changing. *I* see the changes! It has only been a month, but he is getting frustrated. I hate seeing him like this.
I personally feel he isn't eating enough calories! He thinks he needs to cut them more!!! he is a foot taller than me and eating only about 300 cals more than me a day!
My question for you guys:
Would you feel offended if your lovely wife bought you a Bodymedia band or something similar? Something the would more accurately calculate his heart rate and his calories burned in a day? ( or a similar product )
Would you be upset that your wife took it upon herself to do this?
While an activity tracker is fun, it ain't gonna do any good if we don't know what exactly is going on with him, such as age/height/weight, method(s) of calculating intake/burns, etc. On the surface it sounds like he's absolutely correct in that he needs to cut calories because it appears he's eating more than he thinks. Activity tracker is a waste of money if he's doing everything else "wrong."
He's calculates all his calories. it's about 1300-1500 a day ( some days less ) for a man of 5'11" 200 lbs.
anyone can see that is WAY TOO LITTLE !! he is working out about 4-5 times a week. He is eating SUPER clean. I make all the meals. He just isn't eating enough because he just wants to loose weight so badly! He doesn't believe me ( or the tools on here ) that he is using up WAY more calories. He thinks his body is sooo different.
I'm hoping a device like this, that will more accurately show him what he is actually using up in a day, and to subtract 300-500 cals from that, will benefit him.
Or am I way off in my thinking?
Just a word of caution based on this post... If he feels like you are trying to get him to use this so you can prove yourself right, he may not want to use it.0
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