does anyone NOT weigh themselves at all

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24

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  • sarahsmiles2013
    sarahsmiles2013 Posts: 42 Member
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    My husband thought my weighing was getting out of hand so he hid my scale. Yes, I could buy another and hide it...but I don't want to be lying to him or have this issue be a point of argument between us. I no longer have a gym membership, so I can't weigh there. I guess I will have to go by how my clothes fit and/or tape measurer. He thinks this will make me less obsessed with weight...but I think it will make me more obsessed. He doesn't understand.

    I weigh myself ever so often to see my progress, but I've learned that the number on the scale is least important in the grand scheme of things. Yes, it's good to drop the pounds; however, I have really toned friends that would be considered obese according to BMI charts because they are all muscle. Two people weighing 150 pounds can look completely different depending on what they have done to lose the weight. If you're just eating right and doing cardio exercises (or even solely limiting your calories with no exercises), you're not going to get that "toned" look that most people desire. That's why it's good to eat right, do cardio, and do some resistance training.

    So all in all, yes, the scale does play a role, but it should not be the only means used to determine your progress. I would rather lose inches and tone than see a number on the scale. It's all in how you feel and your energy level! Weigh yourself once a week or even every other week. You do not need to weigh yourself every day because it will fluctuate depending on how much water you're holding. If you're up in weight, look at factors that could play into that.......like how much sodium you have had, that time of the month (for girls) :), your calories, activity level, etc.......

    I used to weigh myself all the time and got frustrated and obsessed with the numbers. Now that I don't focus so much on it, I'm happier and actually losing a lot more and toning up! Going by how I feel and how my clothes fit has been much more rewarding for me!

    Best of luck to you with your fitness journey! :)
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
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    I'm sorry, is this your husband or your father? See if daddy...I mean, your husband...will allow you access to the scale once a week in an attempt to teach you how to have a healthy relationship with it, and then he can hide it again until the next week. In the meantime, focus on how you look in the mirror, how your clothes fit, and body measurements. It's not the end of the world if you can't weigh yourself. There are other ways to track progress.

    My guess is that, if your husband is treating you like an infant, you probably do have an "obsession" with the scale, whatever that means. How often were you weighing yourself? Daily? Multiple times a day? It's unnecessary and he's probably just annoyed by how much you talk about your weight. He could be a little more mature about it, but I have no clue what he's putting up with, so who's to say this isn't an appropriate response?
  • GretaGirl8
    GretaGirl8 Posts: 274 Member
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    [/quote]

    I'm sorry to tell you this, hun...but I would have a very serious problem with my husband if he ever hid my scales/food scales or anything that's aiding my journey to a better lifestyle. Trust and Support does not come from trying to prohibit or manipulate people's habits, especially in a marriage. You might want to take sit down with him and have a talk. Blessings~
    [/quote]

    quoted from above...not sure why the quotes didn't show up.

    I definitely see this point of view (as expressed by other posters as well). I also agree with the poster who talked about having concern for his wife. It is complicated because he does believe he is helping me and allowing me to have a better life. The scale was maddening and I did become obsessed with the number. The number on the scale really set the tone for my day. However, I believe it should still be my decision when and if I will weigh myself.
  • Docbanana2002
    Docbanana2002 Posts: 357 Member
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    Wow, that very controlling.

    But since your are tolerating this control, I agree with the suggestion that you work out an arrangement by which your prison warden... I mean husband... allows you access to the scale at intervals that he deems suitable, if you've been good. Like a weekly weigh-in time.
  • lacewitch
    lacewitch Posts: 766 Member
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    i weigh probably onece a quarter ( when i go to the docs)
    I go on clothes - and just reently the scale seems to be going up even though size is still dropping
    I did weigh earlier in life but it varied so much with hydration TOM, ad time of day i gave up.

    Josie
  • stacyjh1979
    stacyjh1979 Posts: 188 Member
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    I personally don't think it's his place to decide for you whether you can/should weigh yourself. It's ok to voice his opinion but he isn't your boss, that's just ridiculous. At any rate if you are ok with him treating you like a child my suggestion would be to see if you can make an agreement that he will get your scale out of it's hiding place once a week or at least once a month so you know where you are at in your efforts. If he won't do that I guess you can always go with a scale at a truck stop or a friend's house but he really doesn't have the right to say no. Best of luck to you.

    I'm just taking a shot in the dark but I don't think you are married.

    As a matter of fact I am. I'm not sure why you would say that? Because I expect respect and someone to not tell me what I can and can't do? If you want to let your husband make decisions for you more power to you (well less actually) but a partnership is about compromise and communication neither of which is happening in this scenario.
  • velocityc6
    velocityc6 Posts: 2,137 Member
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    Wow, sorry you husband is so controlling. As others have stated the scale can be a friend one day and an enemy :devil: the next. I gave up the scales about 2 months ago and now weigh only at the Dr. My clothes fit and people tell me I'm looking great that is all I need. Good luck to you.
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
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    Excuse me? He hid the scale on you? I would have a huge problem with that (and, yes, I am married).

    It's one thing for him to voice his concern about your use of the scale if he sees it harming your mental/emotional health. But you are not a child. You are the one who should be making decisions about how often you weigh yourself. If you are overly obsessing, then maybe its time to step away for a while. But to hide the scale? That's ridiculous.
  • violasmith85
    violasmith85 Posts: 274 Member
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    Before everyone jumps down her husbands throat lets remember 1. some people can develop serious issues with their weight and develop very serious issues and it sounds like he's worried and 2. Relationships are complicated and for all we know she may have shown controlling traits over other things. For example: it's common for a woman to control what her husband eats, even if he's against it, if the doctor tells him he has high cholesterol.
  • Chain_Ring
    Chain_Ring Posts: 753 Member
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    So he seriously hid your scale, not as a joke but to actually prevent you from using it? Lame.
  • Keeta83
    Keeta83 Posts: 427 Member
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    I haven't in quite some time now...I hit a plateau and was getting quite frustrated so I've stopped checking. I have been monitoring my measurements however and have noticed them dropping so for now that's good enough for me!
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
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    I'm guessing you're not overweight and that's part of his concern.

    A lot of people who tend to obsess ditch the scale. I think it's a great idea, if it impedes your health and marriage.
  • Chain_Ring
    Chain_Ring Posts: 753 Member
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    I weigh myself every morning. Keeps my assss in check.
  • llUndecidedll
    llUndecidedll Posts: 724 Member
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    I weight myself almost every day, but I'm not *obsessed* with the number on the scale. I honestly look at it more to see my body fat percentage. I'm kind of mad that it's pretty much the same. I've been strength training for the past two weeks, so I don't know if it's helping or not.
  • stacyjh1979
    stacyjh1979 Posts: 188 Member
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    I definitely see this point of view (as expressed by other posters as well). I also agree with the poster who talked about having concern for his wife. It is complicated because he does believe he is helping me and allowing me to have a better life. The scale was maddening and I did become obsessed with the number. The number on the scale really set the tone for my day. However, I believe it should still be my decision when and if I will weigh myself.

    I think it is admirable that you can be honest with yourself if you were starting to get obsessed. I have no doubt he is probably trying to do this out of love for you however it's still not his place to take it away from you. You are a big girl and if you choose to be obsessed and let a number on a scale ruin your day it's your choice to do so. It sounds like you understand where he is coming from so perhaps you can have a conversation with him and address what his and your concerns are in regards to the scale. Find a healthy medium that both of you can live with and start doing some work on how you view yourself in terms of your weight defining who you are and how you feel. This is about a lot more than the scale and not addressing the issues are only going to make them worse. Over time you are likely to build up resentment for being treated like a child who just got their xbox taken away for bad grades. You are a grown woman and you are responsible for yourself period.
  • Decsaw
    Decsaw Posts: 20
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    This is a particularly important topic for me as it is the basis of my PhD thesis as well as my current research. I never weigh myself, I encourage all those around me to not weigh themselves. Weight is a terrible indication of anything at an individual level. it does not tell you how healthy you are, it doesn't even tell you how well you are doing in your "diet or exercise program". Saying "oh I lost 5 lbs since I last weighed myself" provides no good evidence of anything. Weight is a useless number. period.

    I understand that some people are motivated by seeing the downward progression of the scale and that is great, if it is going to motivate you to keep up your healthy lifestyle, I am happy for you, but what about when it doesn't, What happens when you run for miles and work out in the gym and you eat as healthy as you can happily eat, and god forbid the weight stays the same? or goes up, Are you a failure? absolutely not, are you doing something wrong? maybe not, Are you less healthy? Nope. But when people give a dame about a silly meaningless number like weight, when they don't see the downward progression they feel like they failed and that sucks, a lot of people give up when faced with such failure that is going to happen.

    I wish everyone would realize that your scale is lying to you, he is an evil *kitten* spouting misinformation, I would focus more on the things that matter, track how you feel when your being healthy (and not so healthy), track how well you are sleeping, set goals around being active and healthy eating, get motivated by personal accomplishments in these areas and forget about weight, if you can.
  • Chain_Ring
    Chain_Ring Posts: 753 Member
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    This is a particularly important topic for me as it is the basis of my PhD thesis as well as my current research. I never weigh myself, I encourage all those around me to not weigh themselves. Weight is a terrible indication of anything at an individual level. it does not tell you how healthy you are, it doesn't even tell you how well you are doing in your "diet or exercise program". Saying "oh I lost 5 lbs since I last weighed myself" provides no good evidence of anything. Weight is a useless number. period.

    I understand that some people are motivated by seeing the downward progression of the scale and that is great, if it is going to motivate you to keep up your healthy lifestyle, I am happy for you, but what about when it doesn't, What happens when you run for miles and work out in the gym and you eat as healthy as you can happily eat, and god forbid the weight stays the same? or goes up, Are you a failure? absolutely not, are you doing something wrong? maybe not, Are you less healthy? Nope. But when people give a dame about a silly meaningless number like weight, when they don't see the downward progression they feel like they failed and that sucks, a lot of people give up when faced with such failure that is going to happen.

    I wish everyone would realize that your scale is lying to you, he is an evil *kitten* spouting misinformation, I would focus more on the things that matter, track how you feel when your being healthy (and not so healthy), track how well you are sleeping, set goals around being active and healthy eating, get motivated by personal accomplishments in these areas and forget about weight, if you can.

    So whether somebody should weigh themselves or not is the basis of your Ph.D thesis? Seriously?
  • bookyeti
    bookyeti Posts: 544 Member
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    Only at the doctor do I step on a scale. I go by how I feel and how my clothes feel...

    THIS!

    I know everyone is different. But for me, weight really isn't important. What means more is my body's composition, my strength/endurance, how I feel, how I look in my clothes --> taking care of myself, in every way possible. That means so much more than a number on a scale!

    Most of the women in the 1900-1950s didn't have scales. They went by how their clothing fit and their health in general; they also seemed to have a better self image, overall. I think our modern generation's obsession with weight is unhealthy and, in my opinion - in addition to inactivity, unhealthy eating habits, and the media - probably contributes to low feelings of self-worth and discouragement, especially in women.

    For example, the "holy morning routine" for most women consists of stepping on the scale. They either pat themselves on the back if the number has gone down... or get down on themselves due to a gain, vowing to be more strict on themselves in the days to come. Some feel they "need" to weight themselves frequently to "keep themselves accountable" or motivated. What happened to being accountable to your body because you're worth it? Because your health is worth it? ...NOT because the scale says so?

    And what about how many times we have heard/read about people saying that they are "giving up" because they've been eating healthy and exercising and yet not losing much, if anything, on the scale? That is sad as it denotes a skewed mindset and a goal that is based merely on a smaller number on the scale. When did we stop cherishing ourselves (eating healthful foods and exercising) simply because it was GOOD for us? What if you never stepped on a scale again? Or even more sobering, what if you remained the same weight forever? Would you continue to eat healthy and workout, even if you never saw the number on the scale go down? It's good to remind yourself what you are doing this for!

    I try to remember and reflect on WHY I'm doing this! Try setting non-scale goals, such as lower body fat %, inches lost, clothing size, how you FEEL, better blood panels, etc. Reaching these types of goals is a lot more telling about your fitness/health than a number on the scale. Also, take progress photos and measurements so you can rely less on your weight as a gauge of your success.
  • MargaretWalks
    MargaretWalks Posts: 38 Member
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    I'll admit that I would be very angry if my husband did this.
  • MzTanya77
    MzTanya77 Posts: 79 Member
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    I weigh once or twice a week. Weighing yourself can become obsessive especially if your whole perspective on your weight loss success is based on what the scale reads. I think your husband is doing you a favor and saving you from yourself! What the scale reads only proves a very small part of your fitness journey. There are many other areas that are overlooked simply because we obsess of the scale. i.e. clothes fitting better, more energy, better sleep, more stamina, etc.

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