Bashed for gaining weight?
Owlibee
Posts: 138 Member
Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?
Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)
I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.
Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)
I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.
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Replies
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well, when you post here you are inviting other peoples opinions - thats all they are. i personally dont think you look underweight either but you know your body best. if you want to gain weight, that is completely up to you and it seems you have your reasons.0
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I have been on both sides Owlibee and I can say that it is WAY harder to gain then to lose. And yes, you should get help just the same. Load the carbs
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Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?
Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)
I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.
People are well-meaning, but you have to admit, your previous posts asking if you're too thin, saying you want to be fat with cellulite etc. and talking about your BD & ED issues etc. confuses people.
It depends on the day and what you've got going on & the things you say.
People often reflect what you put out. Shrug.0 -
You are young you will gain weight as you get older. I have a niece that was bone skinny growing up she hated people telling her how skinny she was now she is average weight. She started gaining in her 30's. So I can understand about not wanting to be skinny. If your family is small than you will probably stay small but you will gain weight in time.0
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I guess what I experience, is when I log in my weight and I've lost some MFP automatically 'congratulates' me and shows to all my 'friends' on this site.
Then I get all these 'I like' status' or WTG! from others that don't really understand what my goals are...
I too am trying to gain weight I currently weigh 78 lbs. and am 5"4-5(not quite sure!).0 -
Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?
Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)
I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.
People are well-meaning, but you have to admit, your previous posts asking if you're too thin, saying you want to be fat with cellulite etc. and talking about your BD & ED issues etc. confuses people.
It depends on the day and what you've got going on & the things you say.
People often reflect what you put out. Shrug.
[/quote
I feel like I can not ask a single question on here now without someone bringing up all my other posts and mention all my disorders ect.
can we keep this on topic please?
Thanks0 -
I guess what I experience, is when I log in my weight and I've lost some MFP automatically 'congratulates' me and shows to all my 'friends' on this site.
Then I get all these 'I like' status' or WTG! from others that don't really understand what my goals are...
I too am trying to gain weight I currently weigh 78 lbs. and am 5"4-5(not quite sure!).
You can turn off those posts so they won't automatically post anymore.
When on the full website, go to "my home," click "Settings," "Automatic News Feed Update Settings," and uncheck "I have lost weight."0 -
Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?
Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)
I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.People are well-meaning, but you have to admit, your previous posts asking if you're too thin, saying you want to be fat with cellulite etc. and talking about your BD & ED issues etc. confuses people.
It depends on the day and what you've got going on & the things you say.
People often reflect what you put out. Shrug.
ThanksI feel like I can not ask a single question on here now without someone bringing up all my other posts and mention all my disorders ect.
can we keep this on topic please?
My post *is* on topic.
Sorry it's not what you want to hear.
Shrug.
edited: quotes misbehaving0 -
So, this isn't the first time you've mentioned "people saying"
if you think you are too thin- and you want to put on weight-and you are communication wtih the appropriate parties (doctor/nutritionist/therapist/people you trust implicitly) why o- why are you listening to people who are giving you grief for gaining?
Don't pay them any mind.
You've received some advice- we've given you some good stuff- and you're starting to move along- why give them the time of day?
Just say thanks for your input and delete the message.
Have to take a balanced approach.
> Get some wisdom/advice from people you trust/know
> Pick a goal
> Make a plan
> do the plan
> Ignore the haters/people who don't' get long term plans and stick to the goal
>
>
>
HUGE PROFITS0 -
I've gotten one or two messages like that (more in my real life than on MFP). It's usually people who have heard women express so much insecurity about their bodies, so their knee-jerk reaction is to say "you're fine the way you are" and they would say that in any case. That's why MFP has functions like delete/ignore/block/etc. Their opinions don't matter, so if they don't fall in line with your goals, just disregard their input.
The thing that helped the most was making friends with a few women who were also trying to gain. Now my FL is full of women who eat, and lift, and aren't chasing skinny. You can make this a gain-friendly space if you try.0 -
In an attempt to improve moral, my company started offering different perks. One of them was to hire a fitness guru and dietician to do an optional 12 week seminar. (One hour, one day a week presentation.)
About half of the people signed up for it, and one of them is my brother, who is underweight. It was crazy how many comments he got about it! (To his face as well as behind his back.) Everyone else who signed up, including me, wanted to loose weight. Some of them clearly seemed to think he didn't need to bother learning about eating healthy since he wasn't overweight. Ridiculous in my opinion! I applaud anyone who wants to improve their health and diet- period. Doesn't matter if they are underweight, overweight or at a healthy weight.
And yes, gaining weight is hard, I can see that watching him. He puts in lots of effort for every pound he gains.0 -
how much do you weigh and how much do you want to gain?Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?
Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)
I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.0 -
Very true0
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how much do you weigh and how much do you want to gain?Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?
Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)
I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.
I weigh 8 stone.
I need to gain at least a stone but would be more happy to be around 10 stone (I felt the best health wise when I was that weight in the past)0 -
Don't live your life based on what other people want, live your life based on what you want. It's ok to repel some people who don't necessarily agree with you, in doing so you're making room for people who DO support and agree with you :flowerforyou:
Make yourself happy first, always. It's not selfish, it's healthy.
I actually just wrote a blog post on this :happy:0 -
I would definitely prioritize getting my period back too if I were in your situation! So just keep up the good work! And the good eating
mmm. 0 -
Weird. You don't look underweight... Like at all...
...Anyway, when you're underweight or overweight, people feel like it's their business.0 -
how you look and what people think isn't as important as your health. but if you discuss your body, people will have differing opinions. when you talk
i hope you've been seen by a doctor, as your lack of periods could be caused by many other things that could become serious issues if left undetected and untreated. and if your weight is the problem, talking to a dietician is probably a good idea.0 -
You're not doing this for anyone but yourself. Just ignore them and keep on doing what you're doing.
I don't understand the negative comments either. People bulk all the time, women included.0 -
Am i missing something? A few people have said that this lady doesn't look like she's too thin etc... are there photos I'm not seeing? Currently I can just see one photo of her pretty face. Are these people basing their opinion on that single photograph?
And love, ignore people's opinions - honestly, I can't stand people who can't stop themselves from putting in their negative 2 cents. I don't care if it's a public forum or not, some people just don't know how to be decent human beings. I shake my head constantly when reading the things people say to each other on facebook etc. It's just so unnecessary.
I've never been in a situation where I've needed to gain, as I've always struggled to lose... but everyones goals should be respected, regardless of whether others agree or not.0 -
i am here for health and would think it should be both ways. weight gain and loss is an issue that is difficult and sometimes a life long struggle. i myself have battled the big girl all my life, she usualy wins but i wont give up. i had issues as a teenager with anorexia and know those struggles as well. my mother, bless her heart lol has never been above 102 lbs and it is a problem. i see her struggle. she adds sugar LOTS of sugar to coffee she eats pie for desert every night with ice cream and i have caught her eating just spoons of sugar and i see her struggle and im with you. i KNOW it is hard just as hard as the loosing of weight is for me. good luck and lets get healthy!0
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i agree you dont look underweight
based on your full body pic and lower body picture0 -
anything that is affecting your health including weight gain is something worth paying attention to. different people have different opinions and perceptions of what is the 'right weight' but everyone's ideal is different depending on your body type.
You can still eat healthy while putting on calories. For example nuts and dried fruit as snacks are high in calories but wont fill you up too much and give you energy and much needed nutrients as well
people are just more accustomed to hearing about people needing to loose instead of gain..
just do what is right for you! 0 -
People on this site are self-righteous weenies. Don't worry about them. Just don't ask for opinions. Actually, don't ask for anything, I guess. Because you'll get much more than you bargain for. It's unfortunate, actually. Send me a friend request, I'm really good at gaining weight, lol. Best of luck to you! 0
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I don't know what a stone is so can't tell if you really are underweight0
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I don't know what a stone is so can't tell if you really are underweight
A stone is 14Ibs.
Her BMI is 18.1, if she is still 5'6 and 112 Ibs.0 -
People on this site are self-righteous weenies. Don't worry about them. Just don't ask for opinions. Actually, don't ask for anything, I guess. Because you'll get much more than you bargain for. It's unfortunate, actually. Send me a friend request, I'm really good at gaining weight, lol. Best of luck to you!
Didn't your thread just get locked? Now you're in here calling people "self-righteous weenies". *face palm*0 -
People on this site are self-righteous weenies. Don't worry about them. Just don't ask for opinions. Actually, don't ask for anything, I guess. Because you'll get much more than you bargain for. It's unfortunate, actually. Send me a friend request, I'm really good at gaining weight, lol. Best of luck to you!
Didn't your thread just get locked? Now you're in here calling people "self-righteous weenies". *face palm*
Is that necessary? Really? Have I ever said one word to you? I'm offering her, what I feel, is solid advice. It has NOTHING to do with you. In fact, I'm trying to protect her from being a victim of people LIKE YOU. But you have to be snarky on her thread? Message me if you have something to say to me. Don't do it on her post. That's rude. You're a grown woman with children. Act like a grown woman.0 -
How much is a stone in weight? Sorry if this is an odd question, but I have not heard that term used before. Thanks.
Oops! I saw the post up above just now and see that the stone is 14 lbs.0 -
People on this site are self-righteous weenies. Don't worry about them. Just don't ask for opinions. Actually, don't ask for anything, I guess. Because you'll get much more than you bargain for. It's unfortunate, actually. Send me a friend request, I'm really good at gaining weight, lol. Best of luck to you!
Didn't your thread just get locked? Now you're in here calling people "self-righteous weenies". *face palm*
Is that necessary? Really? Have I ever said one word to you? I'm offering her, what I feel, is solid advice. It has NOTHING to do with you. In fact, I'm trying to protect her from being a victim of people LIKE YOU. But you have to be snarky on her thread? Message me if you have something to say to me. Don't do it on her post. That's rude. You're a grown woman with children. Act like a grown woman.
Given you are the one who decided people on this site are 'self-righteous' weenies, I think it is actually you who needs to start acting like a grown woman. You come across, thus far, as rather rude and defensive. If this site is not to your liking, maybe you should take your dissatisfied self elsewhere.
Oh, and reported.0
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