Bashed for gaining weight?

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Owlibee
Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?

Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)

I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.
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Replies

  • SpicesOfLife
    SpicesOfLife Posts: 290 Member
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    well, when you post here you are inviting other peoples opinions - thats all they are. i personally dont think you look underweight either but you know your body best. if you want to gain weight, that is completely up to you and it seems you have your reasons.
  • ACanadian22
    ACanadian22 Posts: 377 Member
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    I have been on both sides Owlibee and I can say that it is WAY harder to gain then to lose. And yes, you should get help just the same. Load the carbs :wink:
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?

    Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)

    I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.

    People are well-meaning, but you have to admit, your previous posts asking if you're too thin, saying you want to be fat with cellulite etc. and talking about your BD & ED issues etc. confuses people.

    It depends on the day and what you've got going on & the things you say.
    People often reflect what you put out. Shrug.
  • mbbseb
    mbbseb Posts: 124 Member
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    You are young you will gain weight as you get older. I have a niece that was bone skinny growing up she hated people telling her how skinny she was now she is average weight. She started gaining in her 30's. So I can understand about not wanting to be skinny. If your family is small than you will probably stay small but you will gain weight in time.
  • shartran
    shartran Posts: 304 Member
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    I guess what I experience, is when I log in my weight and I've lost some MFP automatically 'congratulates' me and shows to all my 'friends' on this site.

    Then I get all these 'I like' status' or WTG! from others that don't really understand what my goals are...

    I too am trying to gain weight I currently weigh 78 lbs. and am 5"4-5(not quite sure!).
  • Owlibee
    Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
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    Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?

    Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)

    I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.

    People are well-meaning, but you have to admit, your previous posts asking if you're too thin, saying you want to be fat with cellulite etc. and talking about your BD & ED issues etc. confuses people.

    It depends on the day and what you've got going on & the things you say.
    People often reflect what you put out. Shrug.
    [/quote

    I feel like I can not ask a single question on here now without someone bringing up all my other posts and mention all my disorders ect.

    can we keep this on topic please?

    Thanks
  • xcalygrl
    xcalygrl Posts: 1,897 Member
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    I guess what I experience, is when I log in my weight and I've lost some MFP automatically 'congratulates' me and shows to all my 'friends' on this site.

    Then I get all these 'I like' status' or WTG! from others that don't really understand what my goals are...

    I too am trying to gain weight I currently weigh 78 lbs. and am 5"4-5(not quite sure!).

    You can turn off those posts so they won't automatically post anymore.

    When on the full website, go to "my home," click "Settings," "Automatic News Feed Update Settings," and uncheck "I have lost weight."
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?

    Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)

    I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.
    People are well-meaning, but you have to admit, your previous posts asking if you're too thin, saying you want to be fat with cellulite etc. and talking about your BD & ED issues etc. confuses people.

    It depends on the day and what you've got going on & the things you say.
    People often reflect what you put out. Shrug.
    I feel like I can not ask a single question on here now without someone bringing up all my other posts and mention all my disorders ect.

    can we keep this on topic please?
    Thanks

    My post *is* on topic.
    Sorry it's not what you want to hear.
    Shrug.

    edited: quotes misbehaving
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    So, this isn't the first time you've mentioned "people saying"

    if you think you are too thin- and you want to put on weight-and you are communication wtih the appropriate parties (doctor/nutritionist/therapist/people you trust implicitly) why o- why are you listening to people who are giving you grief for gaining?

    Don't pay them any mind.

    You've received some advice- we've given you some good stuff- and you're starting to move along- why give them the time of day?

    Just say thanks for your input and delete the message.

    Have to take a balanced approach.
    > Get some wisdom/advice from people you trust/know
    > Pick a goal
    > Make a plan
    > do the plan
    > Ignore the haters/people who don't' get long term plans and stick to the goal
    >
    >
    >
    HUGE PROFITS
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    I've gotten one or two messages like that (more in my real life than on MFP). It's usually people who have heard women express so much insecurity about their bodies, so their knee-jerk reaction is to say "you're fine the way you are" and they would say that in any case. That's why MFP has functions like delete/ignore/block/etc. Their opinions don't matter, so if they don't fall in line with your goals, just disregard their input.

    The thing that helped the most was making friends with a few women who were also trying to gain. Now my FL is full of women who eat, and lift, and aren't chasing skinny. You can make this a gain-friendly space if you try.
  • AngelaRoberta
    AngelaRoberta Posts: 24 Member
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    In an attempt to improve moral, my company started offering different perks. One of them was to hire a fitness guru and dietician to do an optional 12 week seminar. (One hour, one day a week presentation.)

    About half of the people signed up for it, and one of them is my brother, who is underweight. It was crazy how many comments he got about it! (To his face as well as behind his back.) Everyone else who signed up, including me, wanted to loose weight. Some of them clearly seemed to think he didn't need to bother learning about eating healthy since he wasn't overweight. Ridiculous in my opinion! I applaud anyone who wants to improve their health and diet- period. Doesn't matter if they are underweight, overweight or at a healthy weight.

    And yes, gaining weight is hard, I can see that watching him. He puts in lots of effort for every pound he gains.
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
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    Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?

    Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)

    I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.
    how much do you weigh and how much do you want to gain?
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
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    Very true
  • Owlibee
    Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
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    Does anyone else on here get comments/messages telling them that they don`t need to gain weight and that they look "fine" and get questioned why their goal is to gain weight ?

    Despite the fact that I am least a stone underweight and my periods are non existent because of this.(They wont come back unless I gain weight.)

    I understand this is a fitness site and many people on here have goals of losing weight. But I feel those who want to gain weight should still be supported.
    how much do you weigh and how much do you want to gain?

    I weigh 8 stone.

    I need to gain at least a stone but would be more happy to be around 10 stone (I felt the best health wise when I was that weight in the past)
  • Megmo127
    Megmo127 Posts: 76 Member
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    Don't live your life based on what other people want, live your life based on what you want. It's ok to repel some people who don't necessarily agree with you, in doing so you're making room for people who DO support and agree with you :flowerforyou:

    Make yourself happy first, always. It's not selfish, it's healthy.

    I actually just wrote a blog post on this :happy:
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,931 Member
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    I would definitely prioritize getting my period back too if I were in your situation! So just keep up the good work! And the good eating :) mmm.
  • tabicatinthehat
    tabicatinthehat Posts: 329 Member
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    Weird. You don't look underweight... Like at all...


    ...Anyway, when you're underweight or overweight, people feel like it's their business.
  • itsbasschick
    itsbasschick Posts: 1,584 Member
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    how you look and what people think isn't as important as your health. but if you discuss your body, people will have differing opinions. when you talk

    i hope you've been seen by a doctor, as your lack of periods could be caused by many other things that could become serious issues if left undetected and untreated. and if your weight is the problem, talking to a dietician is probably a good idea.
  • giggitygoo
    giggitygoo Posts: 1,978 Member
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    You're not doing this for anyone but yourself. Just ignore them and keep on doing what you're doing.

    I don't understand the negative comments either. People bulk all the time, women included.
  • leilag82
    leilag82 Posts: 16 Member
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    Am i missing something? A few people have said that this lady doesn't look like she's too thin etc... are there photos I'm not seeing? Currently I can just see one photo of her pretty face. Are these people basing their opinion on that single photograph?

    And love, ignore people's opinions - honestly, I can't stand people who can't stop themselves from putting in their negative 2 cents. I don't care if it's a public forum or not, some people just don't know how to be decent human beings. I shake my head constantly when reading the things people say to each other on facebook etc. It's just so unnecessary.

    I've never been in a situation where I've needed to gain, as I've always struggled to lose... but everyones goals should be respected, regardless of whether others agree or not.

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