Ex wife issues/questions

I still text with my ex.. I am remarried and he is still single with an on again off again psycho girlfriend. We have kids so it is important we can talk. I miss him at times, but mainly It is about trying to make him smile. I wish him to be happy so most of my texts ( and his) are very supportive and bantering... eh everyone is different.. I just want to be able to be friends. So far, it is working although we aren't close friends.

My ex husband did the exact same thing. After speaking with my personal therapist about it, he said I should politely explain to him (and set that dreaded boundary) that unless his conversation is releated to our children, then I'm not interested in conversation with him.

I had this same thing. Then I watched a chick flick called The Holiday and it changed my view. Some people just like knowing they still have the power. Like they can contact you whenever they want to, and you'll respond. Kinda like having their pie and eating it too. This is where the friendly or not so friendly ultimatum needs to come into play. Hope it gets better for you. Take it easy!

This. It's a control thing.

My husband told me the same thing. "I'm not happy". Ugh. Were not divorced yet, but I sure hope he doesn't pull that crap me with me. I don't text him or call and he doesn't either. We were married for 7 years. He left me while I was in the hospital recovering from a knee surgery. How sad is that!

My parents divorced in 2001 after being married for 25 years. I can't imagine what it's like to go through losing your partner, but I can tell you what it's like to see your parents split up. My mom filed for divorce and the separation was more or less amicable. However she does still contact my dad after all this time. It's not everyday or even every month, but she does call when it's his birthday or around the holidays. Of course she also gets in touch with him if there is a medical issue going on or if there is some sort of big news about me or my sister. If I were you, I would ask your ex to limit her communication to issues like these. There is no reason to talk on a daily basis after a divorce unless you have very small children that are constantly reaching milestones.

On the other hand, don't let communication dwindle to the point that you go years without speaking. It's important for your kids to know that when push comes to shove your parents can at least be friendly to each other. Otherwise one of you will become the bad guy in their eyes. One day your kids will be old enough to graduate from high school, graduate from college, get married and have babies. They will want both of you there for those big events.

My parents divorced in 2001 after being married for 25 years. I can't imagine what it's like to go through losing your partner, but I can tell you what it's like to see your parents split up. My mom filed for divorce and the separation was more or less amicable. However she does still contact my dad after all this time. It's not everyday or even every month, but she does call when it's his birthday or around the holidays. Of course she also gets in touch with him if there is a medical issue going on or if there is some sort of big news about me or my sister. If I were you, I would ask your ex to limit her communication to issues like these. There is no reason to talk on a daily basis after a divorce unless you have very small children that are constantly reaching milestones.

On the other hand, don't let communication dwindle to the point that you go years without speaking. It's important for your kids to know that when push comes to shove your parents can at least be friendly to each other. Otherwise one of you will become the bad guy in their eyes. One day your kids will be old enough to graduate from high school, graduate from college, get married and have babies. They will want both of you there for those big events.

I can add to this a lil bit. My parents divorced when I was 8. It was hard on me. My parents separated on poor terms (my dad is a jerk-- long story short) and don't have much if anything to do with eachother. When I finaly graduated basic training I wanted both there to see me. I had to tell both of them " I am the child here, you are both adults and its been 15 year, Grow up and act nice. If you don't want to, then sit at opposite ends of the table and don't talk to eachother," It was hard talking to my mom that way, but it had to be done. We had a good dinner and I got to see both my parents before I left.