compliment or insult?

Today another gym member approached me once I had finished my workout and told me they were glad to see someone overweight working out so hard. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult?


  • BraveNewdGirl
    BraveNewdGirl Posts: 937 Member
    Sounds like a misguided compliment to me. People often don't realize that their approval isn't necessarily wanted. It's a safe bet that they were attempting to be encouraging, but their comment fell a little flat. No matter how they meant it, though, you're kicking *kitten* just by hitting the gym and working out. Keep that ish up!
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,296 Member
    I would take it as a compliment. I'm a total fat girl who is trying to improve. It's no secret.
  • GatorDeb1
    GatorDeb1 Posts: 245 Member
    I have a friend I met through the gym who told me after the fact that she first became drawn to me because I was the fat person who kept coming back and working hard and that wasn't the norm, but I was already skinny by then.
  • aethre
    aethre Posts: 150 Member
    Take it as a compliment!

    If she meant it as a compliment, and you take it as an insult, you'll feel hurt for no reason.

    If she meant it as an insult, and you take it as a compliment, then her attempt to bring you down has been FOILED! :wink:

    Keep smiling & working hard
  • I'd take it as a compliment :-)
  • Iri_2
    Iri_2 Posts: 349 Member
    Take it as a compliment.
  • ninyagwa
    ninyagwa Posts: 328 Member
    Tact is not something everyone has. Sounds like they were trying to compliment you, but people have a hard time not defining us by our physical being "blonde", "fat", "the chick with the boobs."

    Rest assured I think you're that AWESOME person at the gym, nice work.
  • sharonnj398
    sharonnj398 Posts: 189 Member
    I think the intent was compliment.

    Usually people are blunter when they are tendering an insult.

    I had a similar situation. I gained 40 pounds in the last year. Someone who hadn't seen me mentioned it didn't look like I gained anything. I'm sure she meant it as a compliment, but I was also thought if I lost 40 pounds - no one would notice.
  • BowHunter1967
    BowHunter1967 Posts: 56 Member
    Probably meant as a compliment. But WTF, unless the person was a health professional they shouldn't be offering opinions about a somebody being overweight. There would have been better ways to handle that and still be motivating.
  • heatherlee33
    heatherlee33 Posts: 113 Member
    Compliment. The complimentor is a bit of an idiot. But totally compliment. And right the hell on for working so hard that people are like, Damn!
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    I think it was meant as a compliment, but it wasn't thought through, and would definitely rub me the wrong way. I would have thanked her and taken the opportunity to politely educate her on the many fat athletes out there, and how "fat" and "fit" are not mutually exclusive.
  • sengalissa
    sengalissa Posts: 253 Member

    When I ran my first half marathon (as a thin person!), there was this middle aged, overweight man who beat me in the race! Man, he was fighting! During the race I thought about complimenting him because it must have been so much harder for him than for me since I weighed in maybe at 60% of his weight, if not 50%.

    I was just impressed thinking about that and how I was struggling - this just to give you an idea of where this might have been coming from.

    Edit: I did NOT say anything, just for the records, because I have a filter :) Some people don't have one but nonetheless might be well-intended.
  • willettamie
    willettamie Posts: 9 Member
    Always remember that this is YOUR GOAL...THIS IS YOUR PASSION! External comments, compliments, encouragements or even "back-handed" ones should not contribute what you feel about you and what you're doing for self. Stay focused so you can ward off distractions such as "compliment or insult?".
  • Take it as a compliment. Just not very tactful.
  • stackhsc
    stackhsc Posts: 439 Member
    An attempt at a compliment. Some people, well pretty well everyone, st some time or another try to give a compliment with out thinking about how the words could be perceived.
    Heck, ever tell someone their kid looks soon much like them or like their partner, it's easy to see where they get their looks, wow dad they have your eyes? Well intentioned, well meaning, we get it all the time, ours are adopted, nope,not my eyes lol. I'd say this is the same idea, well meaning with out thinking about what they are saying.
  • tomcornhole
    tomcornhole Posts: 1,084 Member
    Compliment, just not well stated. This is my favorite compliment I have ever read and I want to say it to all the overweight folks working hard:

  • thanks for all posting this information is very important for my and help full
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,330 Member
    i'd take it as an insult, it's like those people who say stuff like you're so well travelled for a black person :laugh: :explode:

    anyway, i've had people say that to me and i've usually replied "athletes come in all shapes and sizes so why are you assuming i'm not an athlete?" only once when the person was exceptionally condescending did i reply with a " **** you"
  • jeanlake
    jeanlake Posts: 130 Member
    compliment - and hopefully a motivator -- some people don't have filters
  • deluxmary2000
    deluxmary2000 Posts: 981 Member
    I'm going to disagree with most people and day it was an insult. I'd be pissed.