Feel like giving up and quitting.

Rangerfied · September 2014

Well I've logged calories on here for quite some time now. In fact i think I have about 265 days in a row. My problem is I see my calorie intake goal for the day, but usually end up going over most days. To me 2200 calories a day seems a little low and I'm even happy with hitting 2500 calories a day, but I still go over. There are days that I have been under but most likely a larger percentage of days I'm over.
I sometimes think what is the sense in tracking these calories if I'm just going to go over any way. The goal is to stay under and I just fail at it.Being thin is something I've never known and after all these years I feel it never will be.I just can't seem to get my mind focused right and stay on track.
My wife bought me a gym membership last year at Christmas and I've been going about 2 times a week, then I missed over a month. Now I'm trying to get back at it again. She bought a smaller pair of pants as a goal for me to get into by May of this year. Yesterday she gave them to my brother as I'm still not in them. No matter how many times I've set deadlines to lose weight, or goals, I just continue to lose at them.
There are nights when I'm bored or even feeling depressed that I will just grab food and snack. I'm not hungry but that doesn't seem to matter. It's after I'm done I regret having done it. I need to learn how to train my brain differently I think before I am ever able to lose the weight.
Sorry, Just my long rant on here.

yopeeps025 · September 2014

I need to learn how to train my brain differently I think before I am ever able to lose the weight.

It can be done man.

IvyLuci · September 2014

Before you quit, think about this. A year will pass whether you change your ways or not. By the end of those 365 days, you might end up heavier than before, or you might end up with a lower weight and healthier habits.
Change is difficult if there is no intrinsic motivation. Your wife can do a lot of things but not one will work if you are not the one that wants to change.
So start from the beginning. Pick a number, any number :-) For one week (and you can adhere to anything for one week) plan your meals to hit that number. And eat only what is in your diary.
Then, for the week after that, lower the number by 100 and try again. Pre-log, pre-plan, prepackage, and stick to it.

Do not focus on the weight you need to lose, focus on the smaller tasks. So, task no.1 is sticking to whatever is logged. Task no.2 is decrease the number until you are in a calorie deficit. Task no.3 is starting an activity you like, anything that will get you moving. If you stick to doing something enough it will become a habit, and then you will have less problems losing.

And I know how you feel about never being thin. I wasn't even a thin child. I have no idea what I'm "supposed" to look like at goal weight. You just do it one day at a time and let your brain catch up to the new image in the mirror.

ladyzakis · September 2014

Logging for 200+ days means you have a lot of data to work with. Browse back through and really look at which things are high calories for the amount you get. Maybe there are one or two things that you spot that you think 'I really don't even enjoy that food that much'. That could be your place to start. For example, a lot of people on here say fizzy drinks/soda were the first thing they cut back on as they are just empty calories. Also, maybe try lower calorie replacements for some 'big buck' items like oil, butter etc or see if you can use a fraction less of them for the same result. Pasta was a moment of horror for me as I can eat 200g and want more, but I've cut it back gradually and now I eat 60-80g (and my cravings have neither increased or decreased).

It's OK to keep going over your calories- I go over more often than not. But I make sure I figure out why and learn from it. What did I eat that was unnecessary? What did I shove in my face without thinking that I didn't even enjoy all that much?

Don't give yourself a hard time. Keep plugging the numbers in and looking at your choices. Find something active to do if you feel bored to try and keep your mind off food. Make some small changes, see how you feel over a week or two, then make some more. Before you know it you'll have become a 'healthy' person without even realising.

Good luck and just keep trying

VelveteenArabian · September 2014

Things won't change unless you change them. Other people cannot motivate you to do it.

Can you honestly say you've really tried? You're talking about quitting but it doesn't sound like you ever started. Logging is great but it's just a record-keeping tool. In itself it will not solve your problems.

Ask yourself why you're not trying and why you don't feel like you deserve to be healthier and why you don't want to be.

Rangerfied · September 2014

Things won't change unless you change them. Other people cannot motivate you to do it.

Can you honestly say you've really tried? You're talking about quitting but it doesn't sound like you ever started. Logging is great but it's just a record-keeping tool. In itself it will not solve your problems.

Ask yourself why you're not trying and why you don't feel like you deserve to be healthier and why you don't want to be.

Well ever since I was young I'd get on track for exercising and trying to lose weight. Of course when I was younger there was never all this talk of tracking calories or exercising. But I use to work out with weights and ride my bike a lot. I'd even get to the point where I was starting to enjoy it. Then something would come up and cause me to miss my workouts. Before I knew it I was no longer working out. This would continuously happen throughout my life. It just makes me feel like I keep going in circles.

One of my biggest problems I'd say is emotional eating and over eating. If something tastes really good, I go back for more before I realize it.

Thanks for some of the ideas people have provided to help. It's always good to hear other peoples views and tricks that have worked for them. I guess I need to dig really deep and see what is causing me to not stay dedicated. But that's a difficult step sometimes to find in yourself.

marinabreeze · September 2014

It's important to look into why you eat too much, because if you don't address that, you'll keep going in the same direction. Support groups like OA or counseling can help. Even talking through it with a supportive friend, or taking some time for introspection can help. As someone who has been overweight for just about all of my life and having a lot to lose, I get it, I really do. I had to deal with the emotional baggage behind my disordered eating to get restarted this time. Also, like another poster said, time passes regardless, and I got tired of each year passing and being further away from where I wanted to be. You can do this. I wish you well.

LinCharpentier · September 2014

This journey is not an easy task. Probably the worst addiction in the world. Ask and over weight smoker that gave up smoking which was the hardest and they will tell you it's the food addiction. An alcoholic or drug abuser. They don't need that in the house. But it's hard not to have food in the house. And if you want to eat it don't matter if it's a slice of bread with peanut butter your going to go for it. Then often 2 or three times. Control is what we need and lots of it.

We can do this but we must set our minds to it.
So good luck to you and myself included.
No matter how many times we start over at least we picked up and started over.

See you lighter
Linda in Northern Ontario

daydreams_of_pretty · September 2014

Why don't you try not setting a deadline. Review your previous logs and look for foods you can switch out for healthier options. Start moving more. You don't have to do a set workout. Just get up and walk around your house. Put on some music and clean. Go outside and do some yard work. Find something active to do everyday and build on it. Find a hobby that keeps you from eating when you're bored. In the meantime, find a low calorie food that you can munch on instead.

This doesn't have to be an all-at-once change. Start slow and move forward. If you're really worried about the fact that you go over a little everyday, then imagine what would happen if you weren't counting at all. Do you really want to start packing on several pounds every year?

verptwerp · September 2014

Well, if you keep on doing the same thing over & over again, expecting a different outcome ...... you are only kidding yourself.

Make some REAL changes ...... and stick to them !

Then get back to us :drinker:

DannehBoyy · September 2014

Don't give up. Just logging your calories and going to the gym is helping a lot. Just keep at it and eventually someone or something will give you that motivation that you want. Also try taking small steps like eating a hundred less calories a week or something like that. Eventually you will get into a routine. It will only get easier for you.

Ms_Effie · September 2014

For dealing with the night snacking, which you've self-identified as a problem, you could try picking up a hobby that keeps your hands busy. I find myself watching tv or on the computer at night, and it's easy to snack without thinking too hard about it. But when I do those same things while knitting/sewing/etc, I snack much less. I have to keep my hands clean to work on my various projects, so mindless snacking is curtailed.

Mexicanbigfoot · September 2014

One of the biggest things that has helped me is setting small goals for myself.

I set a monthly goal of I will walk x miles, or I will walk x minutes, or I will work out for x minutes. This month, my goal is to walk at least 16 days (35 minutes) and elliptical (20 minutes) and kettlebell (15 minutes) for 8 days.

I also set long term goals outside of hitting my "goal weight". Right now, I log the mileage I accumulate when I walk and subtract it from a goal destination. I got this idea from a friend. I picked somewhere I've never been (the Statue of Liberty) and per Google maps, it's 790 miles from my front door to the monument. So everyday, I get a little closer.

I celebrate every non scale victory. Getting into a smaller pair of pants. Someone noticing my weight loss. Getting in the car and my seatbelt fitting around me without squeezing me. Skinny elbows. Walking up a flight of stairs and not being winded.

I blog and journal. I, too, am an emotional eater. It's how I got to over 350 pounds. I went to a lot of therapy. I started to learn my triggers and when I felt one coming on, I learned how to deal in another way.

Whatever you do, don't give up. I've had a few false starts (I think I joined around the same time as you) but I'm here and I'm doing it now. I put motivational quotes all over the place where I can see them. On my mirrors, in my car, my work space, and the room where my treadmill is.

I will tell you I wasted a lot of time looking for someone to motivate me to make changes and it never came. I finally stepped back and took a very long look at myself and it clicked. I had to find the motivation to change in myself, for myself. It wasn't easy, but it's been worth it.

Today is my 108th day since restarting and I'm down 42 pounds. If I can do it, anyone can. Feel free to friend me for extra support and good luck on your journey! :flowerforyou:

SingRunTing · September 2014

Are you weighing your food?

I'm not spouting this off as the usual advice of "if you're not weighing, you don't really know how much you are eating" (which is true). You said that when you have something that tastes good, you eat seconds without realizing it. I have a hard time believing that you can go back for seconds of the really yummy food, weigh it out, log it into MFP, and still not realize that you did that.

Try being strict about weighing and logging everything before it goes into your mouth. If nothing else, it makes you stop and think for a second "do I really want to eat this? Is it worth going over my calories for a moments worth of pleasure? Do I really want to change? Am I really hungry or just bored, tired, scared, sad, depressed, etc?"

I do think your issue is a mental/emotional one instead of a physical one. Weighing/logging can give you enough of a pause to rethink if you really want to eat that. For some people its enough, but you don't know until you try. Give it a go. You don't have to be perfect every day, but try to hit your goals most days.

If you are still self sabotaging even though you are fully aware of what you are doing (weighing/logging and knowing that you are going well over your calories every single day), then I would seek out extra help. Counseling or OA or something else to reach down to the root of your issues.

It could also just be a motivation thing. Last year, I would never have done this. I wasn't in the right mind set. I knew that I needed to lose weight, but until I woke up one morning with the drive to do so, any attempts would have failed miserably.

Rangerfied · February 2016

Just reveiwing some of these old posts. Starting to get discouraged again. But looking back at my weight logs I probably am down some in weight since I originally posted. Guess I've hit a plateau and now have to try and get over it.
I thought I'd check what people told me before to see what I may respark in me.

hoyalawya2003 · February 2016

I recommend the book The Beck Diet Solution. It isn't a crazy diet, it is a way to change the way you think about food and identify why you overeat. I struggle with boredom eating and emotional eating (especially at night), and it really helped me. There is a group here too, but it wasn't very active last time I checked in.

elaineamj · February 2016

Glad you are still hanging around! Hang in there

What worked for me (well, only been 4 weeks so far) has been easy wins so I can give myself gigantic pats on the back. I also pre-log. The other day I wanted to try making this "low cal" dessert, I built the recipe and when I saw the calorie count - I said "no way".

Yesterday I ate a sugar cookie without prelogging because I knew I had extra cals to play with. But when I logged it, I groaned a bit - half that cookie would have been fine but the whole cookie just wasn't yummy enough to be worth the calories. If I had pre-logged, I could have made the decision then. That said, the small handful of caramel popcorn last week was pre-logged AND worth the calories!

Chaagy · February 2016

Hey man. Don't get discouraged. You've been logging in for a long while now. What is it that keeps you here? You need to think on that. Is the reason your here, worth it to you? If so, then make the changes you need.

What is stopping you from making real changes? Old habits (they die hard, but they can die). Peer pressure (I get the razzing from my friends for eating salad and a diet coke... meh). Cravings (learn when a craving is just a craving vs. something you really desire). All of that can be overcome.

I know for me (I think I'm about your age), I just got used to eating the way I did. I also like to go out with friends and family, and I'm a pretty happy go-lucky guy. Food and drink are part of that way of life for me. BUT... I started feeling achy, I had high blood pressure, I had Type 2 Diabetes, and I started realizing, I can't keep living that way. It's hard changing your life when for 40 years, that's the way you've been living it.

When my friends want to go out for wings, sometimes I order a salad with chicken on top (sometimes I have wings, but I always keep it reasonable) and instead of a beer, I get a diet coke. I get a bit of razzing, but so what? I really need to do what's good for me. Those guys are my friends, but they also are not living my life. I'm the one living it, and I'm gonna live it my way.

There are so many things I had to do differently, and all required not just doing, but thinking about things in a different way:
- Pre-planning my meals and making food to have on hand
- Pre-portioning my food at restaurants (I would move food off of my plate before I start, and move it to a 'garbage' dish). Even a burger and fries would lose a bun, and then I'd take a small bunch of fries and the rest would move to the garbage plate. Sometimes, I would literally mash a napkin into that food so that it was clearly garbage.
- Learning when I really want something and indulge in it, and when I just have a craving. And learning to resist it. I usually know if by the next day, I no longer crave it. But if it's a few days, and I'm still thinking about it, then I know that I need to plan to do something (ie. if I can't just get cheeseburger off my mind, then so be it, I will go have the best cheeseburger I can think of!)

In the end, you do need a good mindset. You need to be clear about the reasons why you are doing this. And you need to decide if it's worth doing. If it is, then just do it. Keep up the fight!

Rangerfied · February 2016

hoyalawya2003 wrote: »

I recommend the book The Beck Diet Solution. It isn't a crazy diet, it is a way to change the way you think about food and identify why you overeat. I struggle with boredom eating and emotional eating (especially at night), and it really helped me. There is a group here too, but it wasn't very active last time I checked in.

Thanks for the recommendation. I may need to check that out. I need to change the way I think about food for sure. Just been all my life, one way of thinking and it's extremely hard for me to change it. Often when I've watched The Biggest Loser shows and see the trainers sitting and talking with the contestants about what makes them eat like they do and what brought them there, makes me think I need that type of person to talk to. One that can help be dig deep and identify the problem. I have ideas, but may not be the full reason.

Rangerfied · February 2016

Chaagy wrote: »

Hey man. Don't get discouraged. You've been logging in for a long while now. What is it that keeps you here? You need to think on that. Is the reason your here, worth it to you? If so, then make the changes you need.

What is stopping you from making real changes? Old habits (they die hard, but they can die). Peer pressure (I get the razzing from my friends for eating salad and a diet coke... meh). Cravings (learn when a craving is just a craving vs. something you really desire). All of that can be overcome.

I know for me (I think I'm about your age), I just got used to eating the way I did. I also like to go out with friends and family, and I'm a pretty happy go-lucky guy. Food and drink are part of that way of life for me. BUT... I started feeling achy, I had high blood pressure, I had Type 2 Diabetes, and I started realizing, I can't keep living that way. It's hard changing your life when for 40 years, that's the way you've been living it.

When my friends want to go out for wings, sometimes I order a salad with chicken on top (sometimes I have wings, but I always keep it reasonable) and instead of a beer, I get a diet coke. I get a bit of razzing, but so what? I really need to do what's good for me. Those guys are my friends, but they also are not living my life. I'm the one living it, and I'm gonna live it my way.

There are so many things I had to do differently, and all required not just doing, but thinking about things in a different way:
- Pre-planning my meals and making food to have on hand
- Pre-portioning my food at restaurants (I would move food off of my plate before I start, and move it to a 'garbage' dish). Even a burger and fries would lose a bun, and then I'd take a small bunch of fries and the rest would move to the garbage plate. Sometimes, I would literally mash a napkin into that food so that it was clearly garbage.
- Learning when I really want something and indulge in it, and when I just have a craving. And learning to resist it. I usually know if by the next day, I no longer crave it. But if it's a few days, and I'm still thinking about it, then I know that I need to plan to do something (ie. if I can't just get cheeseburger off my mind, then so be it, I will go have the best cheeseburger I can think of!)

In the end, you do need a good mindset. You need to be clear about the reasons why you are doing this. And you need to decide if it's worth doing. If it is, then just do it. Keep up the fight!

You've been logging in for a long while now. What is it that keeps you here? I've been actually logging for quite some time. I use to have a program on my computer called Fit Fare (Believe that's the name). I came across this site and liked how I could sync it with my app on my phone. I've just kept it up and it's hard to believe that I've logged in so many days. I need to find a way to take that same dedication to logging and apply it to exercising and eating healthier. That's what I've found difficult. There's always too much good food around me and I find it hard to say no a lot of the times. A history of eating to much is the bad habit that needs to die. Goes back to my childhood and always over eating. Back to the days when people weren't tracking what they eat or counting calories.

What is stopping you from making real changes? To me what's hard is the food that does come in the house. It's nothing for us to have potato chips, have desserts (Something I do enjoy) and other food that's not the healthiest. I've brought it up to my wife in the past, but I believe she feels it's me needing to have the self control not to eat it as they all still enjoy it. My self control is week at the best of times when it comes to food. I say food is like my addiction. I don't drink, smoke or do any form of drugs. Mine is food. I love it and always have. From being born (10lb baby) to being a child and now an adult I've never known anything different. I've never known what it's like to be thin. I mean I am able to give myself some credit in the fact I have dropped from 318lbs in approximately 2006 to around 271lbs that I am now. So I guess I know it can be done, but I think these plateaus are hard to get pass.

But I agree that I need to find something to change my mindset when I'm bored or feeling my nerves bothering me. That's when I kick in and eat more too. Eat what I shouldn't.

ClosetBayesian · February 2016

Rangerfied wrote: »

To me what's hard is the food that does come in the house. It's nothing for us to have potato chips, have desserts (Something I do enjoy) and other food that's not the healthiest. I've brought it up to my wife in the past, but I believe she feels it's me needing to have the self control not to eat it as they all still enjoy it. My self control is week at the best of times when it comes to food. I say food is like my addiction. I don't drink, smoke or do any form of drugs. Mine is food. I love it and always have. From being born (10lb baby) to being a child and now an adult I've never known anything different. I've never known what it's like to be thin. I mean I am able to give myself some credit in the fact I have dropped from 318lbs in approximately 2006 to around 271lbs that I am now. So I guess I know it can be done, but I think these plateaus are hard to get pass.

But I agree that I need to find something to change my mindset when I'm bored or feeling my nerves bothering me. That's when I kick in and eat more too. Eat what I shouldn't.

If you cannot eat chips or ice cream in moderation (kudos to the people here who can do that; I sure as heck can't), the easiest way to solve this is for those items to not come into the house in the first place. In my house, this meant asking my husband to stop buying ice cream when he went shopping. Dessert is now for special occasions (holidays, birthdays, etc.), and we've replaced the more calorie dense snacks in the house with fruits and vegetables. Maybe your wife would agree to something similar?

Wicked_Seraph · February 2016

For what it's worth, I understand your feelings on food. I don't know if I could appropriately call it an addiction, but it took me a long, long time to realize that I've used it as a coping mechanism, stress relief, source of pleasure, and sustenance all at once. I think part of what helps is also working on yourself. For this year, I've determined that I'd learn how to deal with stress and unpleasant feelings head-on, rather than stuffing my face and pushing those feelings down to deal with later. School, in particular, is a great source of anxiety and stress for me - and this semester is no different. Normally, I would eat garbage at school and come home and eat even more garbage. I force myself to log whatever I eat at school, and focus instead of what I can do to actually solve the issue.

Don't think of food in terms of "should" or "should not". Try to think of it more as, "is this worth the calories?" I'm a total fiend for pizza. I don't tell myself I WILL NEVER HAVE PIZZA AGAIN - I've tried saying "I will never have (insert trigger food here) again until I learn self-control". It doesn't work - because I was thinking about it wrong. I simply tell myself, "how much would be worthwhile for the calories?" Ordinarily, I can EASILY scarf down an entire pizza. Rethinking it in terms of how many calories I consider pizza to be worth makes it difficult to justify more than a slice or two. Tracking and rethinking my food choices provides a measure of control - which, for someone who has often felt powerless over what I've perceived as a shameful lack of self-control, is very empowering.

Don't set time limits on yourself. Your body didn't get to where it's at overnight - the weight won't either. I've always self-sabotaged after I didn't see results as quickly as I wanted. Trying to reset your thinking, and change your life rather than merely your waist, helps provide the perspective and patience needed to stick with things.

edival · February 2016

I'm going to give some unusual advice as you seem stuck and frustrated. I highly suggest reading two books: The Big Fat Surprise and Keto Clarity. These two books look at the science of how we evolved as humans and may resonate with you. Why is this unusual? Because it's not how we've been taught to eat.
Why does this matter? Why would you go against what was told to you? Because it's just not working? You're hungry all the time, you're not seeing results, even when you're actively trying to do what's right and what's supposed to work.

If you want to evoke change, you need to do what you haven't tried before. I've seen these 2 books change lives for the better, and for the long term.

I hope this advice comes across as helpful.

tmorton03 · February 2016

If your wife wants you to lose also, see if she'll log her foods on here also. My husband and I did this together and we have almost 750 days logged in. I have lost 85 pounds and my husband has lost over 75 pounds. Find motivation in one another. For us, we eat more protein, veggies, and fruit than carbs and we stay inside our calorie range. I eat between 1500-1600 and my husband eats between 2000-2100. Enjoy one "cheat" meal together once a week! You can do it!

Rangerfied · February 2016

Wicked_Seraph wrote: »

For what it's worth, I understand your feelings on food. I don't know if I could appropriately call it an addiction, but it took me a long, long time to realize that I've used it as a coping mechanism, stress relief, source of pleasure, and sustenance all at once. I think part of what helps is also working on yourself. For this year, I've determined that I'd learn how to deal with stress and unpleasant feelings head-on, rather than stuffing my face and pushing those feelings down to deal with later. School, in particular, is a great source of anxiety and stress for me - and this semester is no different. Normally, I would eat garbage at school and come home and eat even more garbage. I force myself to log whatever I eat at school, and focus instead of what I can do to actually solve the issue.

Don't think of food in terms of "should" or "should not". Try to think of it more as, "is this worth the calories?" I'm a total fiend for pizza. I don't tell myself I WILL NEVER HAVE PIZZA AGAIN - I've tried saying "I will never have (insert trigger food here) again until I learn self-control". It doesn't work - because I was thinking about it wrong. I simply tell myself, "how much would be worthwhile for the calories?" Ordinarily, I can EASILY scarf down an entire pizza. Rethinking it in terms of how many calories I consider pizza to be worth makes it difficult to justify more than a slice or two. Tracking and rethinking my food choices provides a measure of control - which, for someone who has often felt powerless over what I've perceived as a shameful lack of self-control, is very empowering.

Don't set time limits on yourself. Your body didn't get to where it's at overnight - the weight won't either. I've always self-sabotaged after I didn't see results as quickly as I wanted. Trying to reset your thinking, and change your life rather than merely your waist, helps provide the perspective and patience needed to stick with things.

I think for me I'd have to insert Pizza too. Maybe even lasagna. Love it all. But pizza is definitely a hard one for me too.
Plus I do find it hard, say when my work is having a potluck or even family. There is so much good food around and you want to try it all. It's hard to hold back and just say no when it's all right there for the grabbing.
Same as my work when we have a work through your lunch day. This is typically for days we know it'll be real busy. They'll bring in food for us and I do my best to order what's healthy, but it's hard. When they do order pizza I've been trying to order the vegetarian instead of the pepperoni. At least knowing it's a little less in calories than the meat pizza. It is all a mind set. Just learning how to change your mind and think differently about it.

Rangerfied · February 2016

edival wrote: »

I'm going to give some unusual advice as you seem stuck and frustrated. I highly suggest reading two books: The Big Fat Surprise and Keto Clarity. These two books look at the science of how we evolved as humans and may resonate with you. Why is this unusual? Because it's not how we've been taught to eat.
Why does this matter? Why would you go against what was told to you? Because it's just not working? You're hungry all the time, you're not seeing results, even when you're actively trying to do what's right and what's supposed to work.

If you want to evoke change, you need to do what you haven't tried before. I've seen these 2 books change lives for the better, and for the long term.

I hope this advice comes across as helpful.

Thanks for the info. I'll have to check them out.

Rangerfied · February 2016

tmorton03 wrote: »

If your wife wants you to lose also, see if she'll log her foods on here also. My husband and I did this together and we have almost 750 days logged in. I have lost 85 pounds and my husband has lost over 75 pounds. Find motivation in one another. For us, we eat more protein, veggies, and fruit than carbs and we stay inside our calorie range. I eat between 1500-1600 and my husband eats between 2000-2100. Enjoy one "cheat" meal together once a week! You can do it!

It's not so much my wife wanting or forcing me to lose. I think she'd like to see me reach my goals and has tried to help before. She just got upset with me when I'd say want that extra at dinner and she's telling me No. She'd say you're not listening anyway so why do I bother. I see her point.
Although she's not really over weight herself, at least to me, I believe it's still good for her to practice trying to eat the same as well. I mean I try to get to the gym, but I'm going alone all the time. At times I thought, she should be here too. It's hard with our schedules I'll admit as I work days and she works evenings. But exercise is good for all of us, not just the over weight.

BluGnat · February 2016

Good for you for sticking around so long, and for still trying. I somewhat understand the frustration with food availability at home. Dr. Pepper is my Achilles heel with my eating, and my husband refuses to give it up. So we always have a 12 pack in the fridge. I quit for over a year, but fell back into it, grrrr. Small little suggestion - find something that keeps you active, and get really, really into it. (Win-win!) Activity can be an appetite suppressor. Once you're in love with some form of activity, you may decide your focus on food becomes to fuel the activity, versus all the other triggers. You may feel a difference in performance based on what you eat, and that could be a motivator, as well. Good luck!!!

elaineamj · February 2016

I'd recommend you leave your wife to her own journey. DH tried nagging, bugging, and asking me - and it only annoyed me. I wasn't ready to do healthy stuff or lose weight until I was ready.

That said, if I saw I want to do something active or eat less, DH is (usually) behind me all the way. I laugh because he does sabotage me sometimes by persuading me to skip a workout or whatever.

CollieFit · February 2016

Rangerfied wrote: »

Just reveiwing some of these old posts. Starting to get discouraged again. But looking back at my weight logs I probably am down some in weight since I originally posted. Guess I've hit a plateau and now have to try and get over it.
I thought I'd check what people told me before to see what I may respark in me.

I doubt it's a true plateau.
You've identified the problem... you overeat and undertrain, and it sounds as if you self-sabotage with negative attitude the moment things don't go swimmingly, which then gives you permission to give up.
I actually agree with your initial realisation that your thinking needs to change in order for you to find some true motivation and actually do the hard work that's necessary. If you really are suffering from depression (which is different to "just not feeling happy sometimes"), then maybe you need counselling rather than calorie counting at the moment.

tulips_and_tea · February 2016

You mentioned finding someone to talk to to find the source of your food issues. Is that possible for you? Can you find a local therapist that might be able to help? Or, look online for some self-help techniques that help you locate the true source of the issue.

Also, have an honest discussion with your wife. Set boundaries and ground rules for each of you, such as whether it is okay or not for her to tell you that you can't have more dinner or whether it's reasonable for you to expect her to make changes, too.

It sounds like you are a quantity eater so try little things such as @Chaagy suggested and remember that we generally eat the quantities we do out of habit, but don't really NEED that much food. Take a portion of something. Make sure it is smaller than your usual portion size. Tell yourself that if you want more that food will be there. Eat slower. Enjoy and taste each bite. Wait 10 min. or so and see if you are still truly hungry. If so, get another smaller portion. It's just a matter of creating new habits. You can do it!

Feel like giving up and quitting.

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