How do you stop "self-sabotaging" weight loss?
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Stop believing that weight loss is an emotional endeavor.
Love this!0 -
I wouldn't call what I've been doing self-sabotaging, but I'm not letting myself buy into my success yet. I won't let myself throw out the clothes that are too big "just in case" I fall off the wagon. I won't let myself buy too many of the smaller sizes "just in case." I won't buy a new swimsuit "just in case" I'm not really looking that much better.
I think to go on from here, it will really help me to FORCE myself to appreciate my success and not leave any room in my life for the "just in case"s. I need to get rid of my crutches and tell myself I don't NEED things for "just in case" because I'm not letting myself get that way again!
Last weekend, I bought a GREAT dress that is just a little too tight. I know I can get to a point where it fits and I look DAMN good- and that's my goal. It was a little expensive-- which is helping motivate me not to let it go to waste!
Show yourself some confidence by investing in your change! I know it's hard (because I'm a cheapskate and don't have much money) but it really does help me so far!0 -
Just stopping by to say I know how you feel! I started at over 300 lbs and have been at a very comfortable 250 pounds since December. Somehow I just got lazy and let myself believe that 250 pounds is a good maintenance weight...but it's not. I still need to lose around 100 lbs. I went through my diary from when I was consistently losing weight. I am going to try to take some advice from myself and see where it takes me. Best of luck! :flowerforyou:0
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On my first go-round with MFP, I lost about 60 pounds! Then I started "sneaking" junk food without logging it. Sometimes a lot of it. It didn't show too much on the scale because I was exercising a lot. When a knee injury meant I couldn't even power walk any more (much less run), the bad eating plus lack of exercise over time led to putting 40 of those pounds back on. So I just started on MFP again a few weeks ago. What did I learn from my first experience? Two things, and they're both things others here have said. First, log log log. No matter what, log. Second, don't give up the foods you love, find a way to incorporate them. For me (and this might sound silly), it's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When I told someone at work that I was starting to eat right and exercise again, he said, "Oh, no more PB&J's for lunch!" And I said, "Oh, no, I'm still having that for lunch. I just factor that in and make sure I have room for those calories." So far it's working, I'm 5 pounds down.0
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Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..
I'm sad that at 53lbs. down, you havent figured out how to push past the 'I can't do it' barrier yet.
You can because you did it before. That's all it takes for me, at least.
Such a good idea. You can do it.0 -
I think my past regains or failures to do as well as I could boiled down to me not believing I deserved it.
A lack of self esteem basically.
That and not tracking, just eating ridiculously low and over exercising.
I think health starts in the mind, if you can get this sorted it makes life easier.
Yeh, calories in/out and all that but that means squat if you are still unsure of who you are and where and what kind of person you want to be.
:sad:
:ohwell: :frown: :sick: :blushing:
THIS.0 -
I am struggling with the same issue, I actually searched for this topic because I don't know how to fix it, but you've all got such good advise, thank you!
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I self-sabotage. There are so many reasons we do it. Figure out why you do it and change it to your advantage.
The main reason I self sabotage is I am scared of being attractive to guys. I had a bad experience in the past and I just am scared of the attention. I don't want to re-live that experience. I've decided to use that to my advantage. Instead of having a bubble of fat protecting me from guys, I am working on having some kick *kitten* muscle. Being strong and able to defend myself will accomplish the same ends. I still have those issues I need to work on, but now they are working to my benefit as I deal with them.
I also was not ready to lose weight for many years. I wanted to so much. There's nothing I worked at harder or wanted more than to lose weight. My conscious self was all in. Subconsciously I was scared to death of losing weigh and if I saw the scale drop more than 10 lbs or so I just couldn't take it. I would stand on the scale and see 260 and immediately feel this insatiable hunger because I really was petrified of the scale dropping any further.
I've hit another plateau (at 257) and I'm struggling some with self sabotage. I don't think those feelings ever really go away, or if they do it takes a lot of effort and work. They're just something you have to push through. Don't give up. Keep working at it. I often tell myself this is a lifestyle change to live life the way I want to. Even if the scale doesn't change, I will continue.0 -
(I think) she means that you lose weight by persistently and accurately logging. If you keep doing that, you will reach your goal.
That means to keep it up for a long time - which is what it takes to lose a lot of weight - you don't 'reward' yourself as you get closer to goal. You incorporate healthy, enjoyable, pleasurable eating into your life and fit it into your calories. This is your life. Once you hit your goal you' will then have to maintain it. And that means always keeping in mind both portion control, monitoring what you're putting in your mouth, and finding things you love to eat and a way to fit that into the calories you CAN eat without gaining weight.
This is the rest of your life. Enjoy it.
Awesome!!!0 -
Lot and log consistently. I did the same as you. Finally got under 100kg and hit a block. I've ended up putting 12kg back on (dropped 2kg since I started logging again) It's so easy to tell yourself that you're doing everything right but if you're not logging you don't know. I kept crying I was putting weight on despite logging, once I did start logging again realized I was eating more than I thought. Viola, weight loss kick started again!0
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Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..
Pick a fitness goal instead of a weight loss goal. Do you want to run a marathon or perfect your high-dive or climb a mountain? Whatever it is, pick a goal and then start working toward that goal. The weight will come off as a result of your efforts.
I've seen this said a few times - the problem is, I have no desire to do anything of the sort - and I'm sure I'm not alone in this. I exercise solely because it's the only thing that seems to make a difference to my body shape (and because it means I have enough calories available not to feel hideously deprived and hungry). Exercise is not something I ever have, or am ever likely to, enjoy - it's a necessary chore, never a pleasure or a desirable activity. I find most forms of exercise so utterly mindless and repetitive that they are very, very boring, and the 'active pursuits' I do enjoy - dancing, skiing, ice-skating, countryside walks - aren't the sorts of things I can participate in every day. That doesn't mean I'm short of goals in my life - far from it! - just that none of them are exercise-related. I can think of very few things that interest me less than to run a marathon or climb a mountain.
Re. the 'I can't' question... I know what you mean, and it is difficult to get around. The only thing that has worked for me is breaking down the thing I'm stuck on into smaller, more-achievable-seeming units, and working up from there. For example, I use the rowing machine for gym-based cardio. I kept on getting 'stuck' after about 12 minutes of fairly vigorous effort, and couldn't see how I could increase my rowing time and/or stroke rate. So, I changed to an interval programme, and now do 15 minutes of actual rowing time in 500m bursts, with 1 minute rest in between sections. That's 15 minutes I 'can' do. That programme is starting to feel less difficult, so my plan is to go to 750m stretches next and do the same number of intervals, which will increase my actual rowing time again. After a few sessions of that I'll cut the rest periods by 'say 10-15 seconds, until my body is used to me putting that level of demand on it. Gradually, I'll increase the distance and decrease the rest periods, so that I will eventually be able to row solidly for 15-20 minutes without feeling like I'm about to die. Huh - I guess I do have an exercise goal, but it's rather smaller than a marathon or mountain - and I'd hardly say I enjoy it, but...! Hope that helps.0 -
I am in the same boat. I have lost 100 pounds, gained back 30, lost 20, gained 10....on and on. I am totally an emotional person and it rings true what one person said about not letting this be an emotional thing.
You can do this!!0 -
I always get that mental block when doing cardio. I guess it's because I find it so ridiculously boring. I find the best way to counter it is to set tiny goals on the treadmill, such as 'I am going to sprint for this 1 minute!!' and when you achieve it, you feel really good about yourself, and give yourself an internal pat on the back
Good luck0 -
I've been at the same weight for 2 months. The same 3 pounds up and down. I've read a lot about plateaus, and there are some interesting ideas out there.
Something I read and liked was this; a plateau is necessary on your journey to get you used to your new set point. There are things to learn at each plateau, that once learned, will nudge you off that plateau. The longer you stay at a plateau feeling sorry for yourself and floundering, the longer you'll be there. Plateaus are necessary in order to maintain as a smaller person. Figure out what your body needs and do it and you will break through.
This is someone's theory, and I don't want to argue if people don't agree. I'm sharing it with you because it's another way to look at this and it may give you some empowerment and encouragement. It has helped me because it gives you something to work on, instead of focusing on the emotional stuff all the time.
Never give up, you can do this.0 -
I have a very horrible "**** it" attitude when I'm self sabotaging myself. For instance I use to be 230, last year finally got down to 149 (took me since 2004 mind you). I have hypothyroidism and always yoyo'd back between 160-190 except until last year. However, I was so stressed w work, my meds weren't working so I wasn't feeling myself. My old self took control and I shot back up to 215 last month.
It's hard but you just need to keep at it. I'm back down under 200 (198 to be exact) and I'm happy. Slow and steady wins the race! I haven't started working out but working on my eating.
If you feel like you can't mentally do it, find someone that can help you. Like a friend or something who is into fitness. Even a really good gym trainer or something.
My friend bought me training sessions back in 2007 and that's when I started losing weight but back then my trainer never told me about healthy eating. Just cutting calories which I don't do anymore. I eat my maintenance calories. If i want something not healthy, I'll just eat a small portion and leave it at that. If you dont think you can control yourself, dont do it.
Maybe start finding some healthier recipe to some processed foods you like and make them. It'll keep you busy that's for sure lol. I know I have been in the kitchen a lot the last few weeks just excited about trying different recipe.0 -
I've been losing weight for the past year. I'm currently at 196. I started at 269 last year so I'm super proud of my progress. Sadly, I've been stuck in the 190s since January. I was totally excited when I got to 199 but I never exactly..got out of it. The lowest I got was 191 and then I shot back up to 207 the down again. I have a habit of "Self-sabotage." By that I mean, when I see myself getting closer to a goal, I over-indulge (I guess due to new found confidence) and gain back what I lost and then some. It's not really a conscious thing, it just kind of happens in the moment then I feel guilty of it and freak out about how it will affect my weight loss. Also, when I'm doing cardio (never happens when I'm lifting), the little voice telling you to quit is always there. I never know how to push past my limits and I think that is also a form of "self-sabotage." Why don't I want to see myself succeed? I acknowledge that I do this, but how can I deal with or stop this behavior? From people who have been in my shoes, what do you do?
I looked at your profile. You're very young with an attractive face... maybe you're afraid to lose the rest of the weight, I don't know. Maybe being heavy seems safer. You might talk with a counselor about it, see if you have fears, and face them. Sometimes people can be frightened of success, or feel pressured by it. Believe me, you can absolutely lose the rest of the weight and move past this phase in your life. You will still be you, the same person, just a normal size. Go for it 0 -
This video always inspires me when I need a spark. Incredible true story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448 0 -
I think "self-sabotaging" is a misused and/or overused expression that gets blamed for other, more obvious issues such as losing focus on why we want to lose weight, sliding back in to old, unhealthy habits, impulse control issues, and or simply being lazy. Think about it...would you really want to be unhealthy? I've seen people ruin relationships and careers due to addictions (drug/sex/you-name-it), but it's the addiction for something else that causes problematic outcomes. Nope, don't believe it's sabotage (which infers an INTENTIONAL desire to undo or destroy something - in this case, your health).
What would you get out of sabotaging your health? You may be UN-intentionally demonstrating all kinds of unhealthy behavior - that's called mindless behavior, but sabotage? If you really believe you're sabotaging yourself (in any way), that's akin to "cutting" and I'd suggest some serious therapy.0 -
I can totally relate to this! I have been yo-yoing for a while now. I started out doing so well. Then here in these last couple of months I have been back and forth every week. I usually do really good throughout the week, eating right and working out everyday, then the weekend comes... I start out by telling myself I can indulge in ONE not-so-good-for-me meal during the weekend. Well this seems to ALWAYS end up turning into me overeating every meal, all weekend. Then the week starts again and I feel completely horrible about gaining weight back over the weekend. So I get "back on track" and TRY to lose what I gained over the weekend plus more to continue with my goal. Well I just keep staying in the same 5 pound range. It is a vicious cycle I have gotten into, and I completely hate it! I don't know why I find it so hard to control myself during the weekends. I have been doing some research on self-sabotaging, and am trying to find a way to reverse this cycle. I do not have a lot of weight to lose, about 5-10 more pounds and I will be at my "ideal" weight. I don't know why I can't just stay focused. If I wouldn't do this to myself I would have hit my goal a long time ago!
Very Frustrated!0 -
It means you don't have to "feel" something to do it.
Simply do it.
It's not about guilt or motivation or self-rewards. I mean, we're humans and humans deal with those things from time to time. Sure.
But success is not that involved. It's about educating yourself, making a plan, and doing it.
I freaking LOVE this. Thank you for putting it this way!0 -
I heard an expression from someone in a twelve-step group: "We make many resolutions, but never a decision."
That was so true for me! I said I was "in transition" to a healthier diet for seven or eight months, but I would keep buying the foods I didn't want to eat because I hadn't made a decision yet. Just a few weeks ago, my dietitian invited me to make a firm decision as to what habit I was going to create, and I did. So, in the last few weeks, I've had a mantra to stick to. It has really changed my attitude and I have stuck to my eating plan 100%.
So try making yourself a mantra. Get an index card and write on it in a big bold marker: "After carefully considering what I want my future life to be like, I have made a firm decision to [engage in this healthy habit]." Be sure it's about what you DO want instead of what you DON'T want. Hang it up where you can see it, make as many copies as you need to, memorize it, and repeat it as many times as necessary.
Decide what to do, and then do it. It may not be easy, but it's simple.0 -
Congratulations! You have done well. When we lose a lot of weight and are feeling good, our confidence is where it should be. You are learning to maintain at that weight (within a few pounds) and that is good. Recommit and set a new goal. What is your next weight loss goal? Maybe you need a smaller weight loss goal. When we commit, have the plan in place, and work it, we are successful. And remember maintenance needs a plan too. There are times when we go up and down (a few pounds) during maintenance and that is okay too. Try not to beat yourself up and get back on the program that has worked so well for you. You can do it and you can keep going. Best wishes, Laura0
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Many times people fail till they succeed. And some accept that failure is going to always happen regardless of how well they are doing. So you really just have to "re learn" that you deserve success. Commit to your goal. That means come hell or high water, hard times or formidable obstacles, you will find a way to get there.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition1 -
I am obviously a late addition to this topic.
Self sabotage is an emotional block - you see it in many areas - like financial success etc. It generally comes down to some type of subconscious thought that you don't deserve it or are afraid of being successful in some way. If this is true for you - you need to actively change your mindset in order to make it easier.
On the exercise thing - do stuff you like ( or at least don't hate) and do it for enough time - walking is nearly as good as running, if you really don't like to walk - find someone you really like to talk to while you walk - you won't even notice you walked, but you will love the talk.0 -
your calories are too low, that's why you're binging0
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