On Taking Offense

"I ate all da' foodz bc yolo."

Such phrasal grotesquery. I speak of no one in particular; my concern is with the general debasement of language.

It is a mystery why educated people write in such fashion. Surely these phrases are overused, and a cliche cannot be a good means of conveying personality--unless, of course, a good proportion of the population has the same personality, and are as walking cliches. A scary thought.

Right now I imagine some of you are probably having an emotional reaction and will begin typing something hasty in reply. Please read further, so your thoughts may not be ill-conceived, and to appreciate the flow of my ideas.

I can anticipate some replies. Such as, "It's America. I can write what I want!" Or "Cocteau can choke on tripe." You are correct on the former; the latter sentiment is only correct in a hypothetical way as tripe requires careful cooking and I have been known on occasion to indulge--yet only at fine restaurants. But ask yourself this, in the name of free expression: Have U.S. soldiers endured so many wars in the 20th and 21st centuries so you can reduce your coherency to that of Honey Boo Boo? Nobody enlists under such convictions.

Right now it is late and I am drinking wine. In defense of habit, I cite Baudelaire: "So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

Ahh, virtue. I have heard that morphing an 's' into a 'z' and a 'th' into a 'd' is considered a fun thing to do. Some are too easily amused. They should go see a puppet show, and not write.

Yet truly my concerns extend further than orthographic atrocities. I am talking of philosophy. Let us consider "yolo" for instance. It covers everything, doesn't it? Let us bang, pass, ignore, marry, and observe naked the universe--because "yolo, y'know"?

Here's a thought: If you only live once, why not learn a proper language? Such as English.

Oh, but you say, it is offensive to point out hackneyed prose? Everything is offensive in the USA these days. Not a day passes without some new Internet outrage; or some small slight at Starbucks or the office becoming cause celebre for vengeance.

But what is really offensive? Are thought and language the only things left that we can assail without fear of correction? Rather, I would suggest, in the words of the great American poet Dylan Thomas, to "rage, rage, against the dying of the light." The light of your mind, friends.

There now, I am finished. I stand now ready for faux outrage, snark, copy-and-paste memes, and the usual effluvia to be directed at this essay, intended as a piece de resistance. Google that if you must.

This weekend there will be apple festivals and such. I shall read in the shade of vineyards and groves, for the autumn equinox approaches, and we must dispel the hobgoblins of the mind.

I bid you good night, -G.E Cocteau
"Should you rush to quell my diction, I shall riposte with lucid conviction."
«1345

Replies

  • dMonster01
    dMonster01 Posts: 214 Member
    Dat da truth! Propz 2 u for being so smart!
  • Strange_magic
    Strange_magic Posts: 370 Member
    I don't care what anybody says, I like you.
  • DBoone85
    DBoone85 Posts: 916 Member
    I dodat all da time. My bad, yo!
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    Swag...you gotz it.
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    "I ate all da' foodz bc yolo."

    Such phrasal grotesquery. I speak of no one in particular; my concern is with the general debasement of language.

    It is a mystery why educated people write in such fashion. Surely these phrases are overused, and a cliche cannot be a good means of conveying personality--unless, of course, a good proportion of the population has the same personality, and are as walking cliches. A scary thought.

    Right now I imagine some of you are probably having an emotional reaction and will begin typing something hasty in reply. Please read further, so your thoughts may not be ill-conceived, and to appreciate the flow of my ideas.

    I can anticipate some replies. Such as, "It's America. I can write what I want!" Or "Cocteau can choke on tripe." You are correct on the former; the latter sentiment is only correct in a hypothetical way as tripe requires careful cooking and I have been known on occasion to indulge--yet only at fine restaurants. But ask yourself this, in the name of free expression: Have U.S. soldiers endured so many wars in the 20th and 21st centuries so you can reduce your coherency to that of Honey Boo Boo? Nobody enlists under such convictions.

    Right now it is late and I am drinking wine. In defense of habit, I cite Baudelaire: "So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

    Ahh, virtue. I have heard that morphing an 's' into a 'z' and a 'th' into a 'd' is considered a fun thing to do. Some are too easily amused. They should go see a puppet show, and not write.

    Yet truly my concerns extend further than orthographic atrocities. I am talking of philosophy. Let us consider "yolo" for instance. It covers everything, doesn't it? Let us bang, pass, ignore, marry, and observe naked the universe--because "yolo, y'know"?

    Here's a thought: If you only live once, why not learn a proper language? Such as English.

    Oh, but you say, it is offensive to point out hackneyed prose? Everything is offensive in the USA these days. Not a day passes without some new Internet outrage; or some small slight at Starbucks or the office becoming cause celebre for vengeance.

    But what is really offensive? Are thought and language the only things left that we can assail without fear of correction? Rather, I would suggest, in the words of the great American poet Dylan Thomas, to "rage, rage, against the dying of the light." The light of your mind, friends.

    There now, I am finished. I stand now ready for faux outrage, snark, copy-and-paste memes, and the usual effluvia to be directed at this essay, intended as a piece de resistance. Google that if you must.

    This weekend there will be apple festivals and such. I shall read in the shade of vineyards and groves, for the autumn equinox approaches, and we must dispel the hobgoblins of the mind.

    I bid you good night, -G.E Cocteau
    "Should you rush to quell my diction, I shall riposte with lucid conviction."

    TL;DR

    Mad props thou, yo!
  • cosmiqrust
    cosmiqrust Posts: 214 Member
    bruh
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    "I ate all da' foodz bc yolo."

    Such phrasal grotesquery. I speak of no one in particular; my concern is with the general debasement of language.

    It is a mystery why educated people write in such fashion. Surely these phrases are overused, and a cliche cannot be a good means of conveying personality--unless, of course, a good proportion of the population has the same personality, and are as walking cliches. A scary thought.

    Right now I imagine some of you are probably having an emotional reaction and will begin typing something hasty in reply. Please read further, so your thoughts may not be ill-conceived, and to appreciate the flow of my ideas.

    I can anticipate some replies. Such as, "It's America. I can write what I want!" Or "Cocteau can choke on tripe." You are correct on the former; the latter sentiment is only correct in a hypothetical way as tripe requires careful cooking and I have been known on occasion to indulge--yet only at fine restaurants. But ask yourself this, in the name of free expression: Have U.S. soldiers endured so many wars in the 20th and 21st centuries so you can reduce your coherency to that of Honey Boo Boo? Nobody enlists under such convictions.

    Right now it is late and I am drinking wine. In defense of habit, I cite Baudelaire: "So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

    Ahh, virtue. I have heard that morphing an 's' into a 'z' and a 'th' into a 'd' is considered a fun thing to do. Some are too easily amused. They should go see a puppet show, and not write.

    Yet truly my concerns extend further than orthographic atrocities. I am talking of philosophy. Let us consider "yolo" for instance. It covers everything, doesn't it? Let us bang, pass, ignore, marry, and observe naked the universe--because "yolo, y'know"?

    Here's a thought: If you only live once, why not learn a proper language? Such as English.

    Oh, but you say, it is offensive to point out hackneyed prose? Everything is offensive in the USA these days. Not a day passes without some new Internet outrage; or some small slight at Starbucks or the office becoming cause celebre for vengeance.

    But what is really offensive? Are thought and language the only things left that we can assail without fear of correction? Rather, I would suggest, in the words of the great American poet Dylan Thomas, to "rage, rage, against the dying of the light." The light of your mind, friends.

    There now, I am finished. I stand now ready for faux outrage, snark, copy-and-paste memes, and the usual effluvia to be directed at this essay, intended as a piece de resistance. Google that if you must.

    This weekend there will be apple festivals and such. I shall read in the shade of vineyards and groves, for the autumn equinox approaches, and we must dispel the hobgoblins of the mind.

    I bid you good night, -G.E Cocteau
    "Should you rush to quell my diction, I shall riposte with lucid conviction."

    Unless you are speaking in a mathematical sense, you most likely mean portion.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    tumblr_lt8sdxktG31r2hr0go1_500.jpg
  • polarsjewel
    polarsjewel Posts: 1,725 Member
    *raises a glass* applause
  • dMonster01
    dMonster01 Posts: 214 Member
    "I ate all da' foodz bc yolo."

    Such phrasal grotesquery. I speak of no one in particular; my concern is with the general debasement of language.

    It is a mystery why educated people write in such fashion. Surely these phrases are overused, and a cliche cannot be a good means of conveying personality--unless, of course, a good proportion of the population has the same personality, and are as walking cliches. A scary thought.

    Right now I imagine some of you are probably having an emotional reaction and will begin typing something hasty in reply. Please read further, so your thoughts may not be ill-conceived, and to appreciate the flow of my ideas.

    I can anticipate some replies. Such as, "It's America. I can write what I want!" Or "Cocteau can choke on tripe." You are correct on the former; the latter sentiment is only correct in a hypothetical way as tripe requires careful cooking and I have been known on occasion to indulge--yet only at fine restaurants. But ask yourself this, in the name of free expression: Have U.S. soldiers endured so many wars in the 20th and 21st centuries so you can reduce your coherency to that of Honey Boo Boo? Nobody enlists under such convictions.

    Right now it is late and I am drinking wine. In defense of habit, I cite Baudelaire: "So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

    Ahh, virtue. I have heard that morphing an 's' into a 'z' and a 'th' into a 'd' is considered a fun thing to do. Some are too easily amused. They should go see a puppet show, and not write.

    Yet truly my concerns extend further than orthographic atrocities. I am talking of philosophy. Let us consider "yolo" for instance. It covers everything, doesn't it? Let us bang, pass, ignore, marry, and observe naked the universe--because "yolo, y'know"?

    Here's a thought: If you only live once, why not learn a proper language? Such as English.

    Oh, but you say, it is offensive to point out hackneyed prose? Everything is offensive in the USA these days. Not a day passes without some new Internet outrage; or some small slight at Starbucks or the office becoming cause celebre for vengeance.

    But what is really offensive? Are thought and language the only things left that we can assail without fear of correction? Rather, I would suggest, in the words of the great American poet Dylan Thomas, to "rage, rage, against the dying of the light." The light of your mind, friends.

    There now, I am finished. I stand now ready for faux outrage, snark, copy-and-paste memes, and the usual effluvia to be directed at this essay, intended as a piece de resistance. Google that if you must.

    This weekend there will be apple festivals and such. I shall read in the shade of vineyards and groves, for the autumn equinox approaches, and we must dispel the hobgoblins of the mind.

    I bid you good night, -G.E Cocteau
    "Should you rush to quell my diction, I shall riposte with lucid conviction."

    Unless you are speaking in a mathematical sense, you most likely mean portion.

    He was speaking in a statistical sense. He used it correctly.

    Hez 2 smart to make errorz.
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
    Thank you.
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
    I'll keep my effluvia to myself.:embarassed:
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    "I ate all da' foodz bc yolo."

    Such phrasal grotesquery. I speak of no one in particular; my concern is with the general debasement of language.

    It is a mystery why educated people write in such fashion. Surely these phrases are overused, and a cliche cannot be a good means of conveying personality--unless, of course, a good proportion of the population has the same personality, and are as walking cliches. A scary thought.

    Right now I imagine some of you are probably having an emotional reaction and will begin typing something hasty in reply. Please read further, so your thoughts may not be ill-conceived, and to appreciate the flow of my ideas.

    I can anticipate some replies. Such as, "It's America. I can write what I want!" Or "Cocteau can choke on tripe." You are correct on the former; the latter sentiment is only correct in a hypothetical way as tripe requires careful cooking and I have been known on occasion to indulge--yet only at fine restaurants. But ask yourself this, in the name of free expression: Have U.S. soldiers endured so many wars in the 20th and 21st centuries so you can reduce your coherency to that of Honey Boo Boo? Nobody enlists under such convictions.

    Right now it is late and I am drinking wine. In defense of habit, I cite Baudelaire: "So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

    Ahh, virtue. I have heard that morphing an 's' into a 'z' and a 'th' into a 'd' is considered a fun thing to do. Some are too easily amused. They should go see a puppet show, and not write.

    Yet truly my concerns extend further than orthographic atrocities. I am talking of philosophy. Let us consider "yolo" for instance. It covers everything, doesn't it? Let us bang, pass, ignore, marry, and observe naked the universe--because "yolo, y'know"?

    Here's a thought: If you only live once, why not learn a proper language? Such as English.

    Oh, but you say, it is offensive to point out hackneyed prose? Everything is offensive in the USA these days. Not a day passes without some new Internet outrage; or some small slight at Starbucks or the office becoming cause celebre for vengeance.

    But what is really offensive? Are thought and language the only things left that we can assail without fear of correction? Rather, I would suggest, in the words of the great American poet Dylan Thomas, to "rage, rage, against the dying of the light." The light of your mind, friends.

    There now, I am finished. I stand now ready for faux outrage, snark, copy-and-paste memes, and the usual effluvia to be directed at this essay, intended as a piece de resistance. Google that if you must.

    This weekend there will be apple festivals and such. I shall read in the shade of vineyards and groves, for the autumn equinox approaches, and we must dispel the hobgoblins of the mind.

    I bid you good night, -G.E Cocteau
    "Should you rush to quell my diction, I shall riposte with lucid conviction."

    Unless you are speaking in a mathematical sense, you most likely mean portion.

    He was speaking in a statistical sense. He used it correctly.

    Hez 2 smart to make errorz.

    In that case, I will refrain from tearing apart other grammatical errors. OP, good for you. I knowed stuffz now. danks.
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    Ezra Pound like a mother effer yo!
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    tumblr_ml3u753OwJ1sng5syo1_500.gif
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    U b try'n hard 2 b smart n stuf
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    TL;DR

    But do yous gots a recipe for dem SWEET TATERZ?!?!
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    "I ate all da' foodz bc yolo."

    Such phrasal grotesquery. I speak of no one in particular; my concern is with the general debasement of language.

    It is a mystery why educated people write in such fashion. Surely these phrases are overused, and a cliche cannot be a good means of conveying personality--unless, of course, a good proportion of the population has the same personality, and are as walking cliches. A scary thought.

    Right now I imagine some of you are probably having an emotional reaction and will begin typing something hasty in reply. Please read further, so your thoughts may not be ill-conceived, and to appreciate the flow of my ideas.

    I can anticipate some replies. Such as, "It's America. I can write what I want!" Or "Cocteau can choke on tripe." You are correct on the former; the latter sentiment is only correct in a hypothetical way as tripe requires careful cooking and I have been known on occasion to indulge--yet only at fine restaurants. But ask yourself this, in the name of free expression: Have U.S. soldiers endured so many wars in the 20th and 21st centuries so you can reduce your coherency to that of Honey Boo Boo? Nobody enlists under such convictions.

    Right now it is late and I am drinking wine. In defense of habit, I cite Baudelaire: "So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

    Ahh, virtue. I have heard that morphing an 's' into a 'z' and a 'th' into a 'd' is considered a fun thing to do. Some are too easily amused. They should go see a puppet show, and not write.

    Yet truly my concerns extend further than orthographic atrocities. I am talking of philosophy. Let us consider "yolo" for instance. It covers everything, doesn't it? Let us bang, pass, ignore, marry, and observe naked the universe--because "yolo, y'know"?

    Here's a thought: If you only live once, why not learn a proper language? Such as English.

    Oh, but you say, it is offensive to point out hackneyed prose? Everything is offensive in the USA these days. Not a day passes without some new Internet outrage; or some small slight at Starbucks or the office becoming cause celebre for vengeance.

    But what is really offensive? Are thought and language the only things left that we can assail without fear of correction? Rather, I would suggest, in the words of the great American poet Dylan Thomas, to "rage, rage, against the dying of the light." The light of your mind, friends.

    There now, I am finished. I stand now ready for faux outrage, snark, copy-and-paste memes, and the usual effluvia to be directed at this essay, intended as a piece de resistance. Google that if you must.

    This weekend there will be apple festivals and such. I shall read in the shade of vineyards and groves, for the autumn equinox approaches, and we must dispel the hobgoblins of the mind.

    I bid you good night, -G.E Cocteau
    "Should you rush to quell my diction, I shall riposte with lucid conviction."

    Currently, these two phrases are duking it out for the coveted position of "fav" from this post:

    "Or "Cocteau can choke on tripe." You are correct on the former; the latter sentiment is only correct in a hypothetical way as tripe requires careful cooking and I have been known on occasion to indulge--yet only at fine restaurants," and "Yet truly my concerns extend further than orthographic atrocities. I am talking of philosophy. Let us consider "yolo" for instance. It covers everything, doesn't it? Let us bang, pass, ignore, marry, and observe naked the universe--because "yolo, y'know"?".

    Iono. Yolo.
  • Desterknee
    Desterknee Posts: 1,056 Member
    You used to be Wordman44. I'm trying to remember why I deleted you.
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    Meh. Post like that are just as easy to decipher as self-aggrandizing ones.

    I du me. U du U.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    Ah, OP drinks wine and quotes Baudelaire. The difference between a well education person and a pompous individual is how many obscure/ partially well known historical figures they can cite.

    Tell me, does all your flannel and ill fitting English prose make you itch?
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Ah, OP drinks wine and quotes Baudelaire. The difference between a well education person and a pompous individual is how many obscure/ partially well known historical figures they can cite.

    Tell me, does all your flannel and ill fitting English prose make you itch?

    Don't forget the skinny jeans.
  • pixelatedsun
    pixelatedsun Posts: 165 Member
    profile_picture_by_u_wot_m8-d534u82.jpg

    You're trying too hard.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    Ah, OP drinks wine and quotes Baudelaire. The difference between a well education person and a pompous individual is how many obscure/ partially well known historical figures they can cite.

    Tell me, does all your flannel and ill fitting English prose make you itch?

    Don't forget the skinny jeans.

    Lest not we want our dangle berries to receive proper ventilation.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Ah, OP drinks wine and quotes Baudelaire. The difference between a well education person and a pompous individual is how many obscure/ partially well known historical figures they can cite.

    Tell me, does all your flannel and ill fitting English prose make you itch?

    Don't forget the skinny jeans.

    Lest not we want our dangle berries to receive proper ventilation.

    Dangle berries? Don u mn deeeez nutz?!
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    Ah, OP drinks wine and quotes Baudelaire. The difference between a well education person and a pompous individual is how many obscure/ partially well known historical figures they can cite.

    Tell me, does all your flannel and ill fitting English prose make you itch?

    Don't forget the skinny jeans.

    Lest not we want our dangle berries to receive proper ventilation.

    Dangle berries? Don u mn deeeez nutz?!

    Such barbaric language! Are you referring to a pair of tallywackers?
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Ah, OP drinks wine and quotes Baudelaire. The difference between a well education person and a pompous individual is how many obscure/ partially well known historical figures they can cite.

    Tell me, does all your flannel and ill fitting English prose make you itch?

    Don't forget the skinny jeans.

    Lest not we want our dangle berries to receive proper ventilation.

    Dangle berries? Don u mn deeeez nutz?!

    Such barbaric language! Are you referring to a pair of tallywackers?


    Testicles or testis if he only has one.
  • This content has been removed.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    I like tripe as long as it's fried with a little egg, flour and salt.

    Political correctness is the bane of our society, hence I have become a smartass.
  • U b try'n hard 2 b smart n stuf

    ^ are you referring to sentences such as this OP? If you are then I would argue that this sentence is a lovely example of a dialect common to the social media culture, and that it contains unique grammatical and phonological rules. For example, the use of the number 2 to replace the word "to" is an amusing and easily understood substitution if you are involved in the culture. Also, the phoneme 'n after 'try' infers present tense of a verb, and "U b" is grammatically understood to be equivalent to "you are" as used in the English language. I am not nearly as proficient as this poster, as I have been guilty of combining different dialects and languages in one sentence. Now, that is offensive.