School Dress Codes
bamagrits15
Posts: 131 Member
in Chit-Chat
https://www.yahoo.com/style/tottenville-high-school-dress-code-97658961343.html
Saw this article on Yahoo. Wanted to share and ask thoughts, especially on the tweets from the "protestors".
Saw this article on Yahoo. Wanted to share and ask thoughts, especially on the tweets from the "protestors".
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Replies
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I think dress codes that keep girls or guys from wearing revealing clothing are appropriate in a school setting. Call me old school but there are already plenty of distractions going on in school, the kids don't need more. Now, if you're asking what is the line between appropriate and not appropriate then I'll have to refer to Justice Scalia of the Supreme Court who said, I don't know how to define pornography but I know it when I see it. That about sums it up.0
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I guess I don't understand the backlash. Those sound like the same rules I had in school in the late 90s. It's not like everyone always followed them and I think there was one time that a teacher made me put on a different shirt, but I knew I was breaking the rules. I didn't expect them to change them for me or not to enforce them. As far as the dress code being sexist, I suppose if more guys were wearing short shorts and cropped tops there would be more guys in detention for violating the dress code. These kids need parents that are willing to put their foot down. I don't care if mommy says it's okay outside of school. Inside of school you follow the schools rules.0
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I guess I don't understand the backlash. Those sound like the same rules I had in school in the late 90s. It's not like everyone always followed them and I think there was one time that a teacher made me put on a different shirt, but I knew I was breaking the rules. I didn't expect them to change them for me or not to enforce them. As far as the dress code being sexist, I suppose if more guys were wearing short shorts and cropped tops there would be more guys in detention for violating the dress code. These kids need parents that are willing to put their foot down. I don't care if mommy says it's okay outside of school. Inside of school you follow the schools rules.
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It is the rules we had in school and what my kids have now, except for the skinny jeans and tights. We have a problem here and it isn't the dress code. It is kids who don't respect authority, girls who don't know modesty, and boys who don't know how to respect and value young women. I have sons. My oldest is to dating age. If he wants to talk to a girl outside of school I check her social media sites. If she is dress poorly I tell him to move on. I tell my son don't seek or encourage behavior from a girl you like that you wouldn't want your sister doing as well.0
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I think if they want to enforce a dress code they should just move to uniforms altogether.0
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So many good replies here. Wish all of you were parents at the school where I work! We have parents coming in fighting to get their kids allowed to wear the smuttiest clothes!
That is why so many schools are going to uniforms.0 -
I think it sounds like they are putting WAY too much focus on the clothes. Why not switch it to focusing on behavior...if someone's causing disruption or creating problems at school then of course that should be dealt with.
I think the school should look at choosing their battles a bit more -- the type of student who is all upset about not being able to wear their cropped top and skinny jeans is probably not a student who is going to cause more serious problems in any REAL way. So why create an issue where there is truly little to none? And why waste time policing it?
I live in a smallish Midwestern city and even here, administrators have way bigger issues to deal with like falling test scores, drugs, gang activity, teen pregnancy, hunger, etc... A teenager who shows up to school every morning and does their work is a good teenager for the most part. Why freak out about their clothing, hairstyle, piercings, etc? I think it's a big focus on a relatively small problem that should be a secondary concern if that...just my opinion, though.0 -
It is the rules we had in school and what my kids have now, except for the skinny jeans and tights. We have a problem here and it isn't the dress code. It is kids who don't respect authority, girls who don't know modesty, and boys who don't know how to respect and value young women. I have sons. My oldest is to dating age. If he wants to talk to a girl outside of school I check her social media sites. If she is dress poorly I tell him to move on. I tell my son don't seek or encourage behavior from a girl you like that you wouldn't want your sister doing as well.
Good mom!0 -
It is the rules we had in school and what my kids have now, except for the skinny jeans and tights. We have a problem here and it isn't the dress code. It is kids who don't respect authority, girls who don't know modesty, and boys who don't know how to respect and value young women. I have sons. My oldest is to dating age. If he wants to talk to a girl outside of school I check her social media sites. If she is dress poorly I tell him to move on. I tell my son don't seek or encourage behavior from a girl you like that you wouldn't want your sister doing as well.
I bet that goes over well. So you approve/dictate who your son can *talk* to, not just date?
Do you need a pilot's license to be a helicopter parent?0 -
We had the same dress code when I was in school, and it wasn't an issue. If they want to serve detention for the right to wear midriff tops, so be it, but I think the phrase "pick your battles wisely" comes to mind. I'm sure they can find other causes to spend their time and energy on.0
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It is the rules we had in school and what my kids have now, except for the skinny jeans and tights. We have a problem here and it isn't the dress code. It is kids who don't respect authority, girls who don't know modesty, and boys who don't know how to respect and value young women. I have sons. My oldest is to dating age. If he wants to talk to a girl outside of school I check her social media sites. If she is dress poorly I tell him to move on. I tell my son don't seek or encourage behavior from a girl you like that you wouldn't want your sister doing as well.
Don't the boys have a problem with "knowing modesty"? What does that mean, anyway?
Do the boys hold such low value of women that it is effected by their clothing that day? Are women who dress modestly more deserving of respect than those who don't?
You police the girls your sons ^talk^ to? Are they allowed to thank a female who holds the door for them but you judge to be dressed immodestly?
Women are only to be respected if they remind you of your sister?0 -
"I don't know how to define X but I will take legally binding decisions about it" has to be among the worst legal philosophies I have ever heard of.
That being said, it is accepted that youths do not have the same rights as adults and that schools can act in lieu of parents for youths under their care, so I don't see the problem with dress codes for underage teenagers.
If an adult was legally forced to attend a school that enforces a dress code... that might be trickier.0 -
FROM THE LINKED ARTICLE
Some students have shared their frustrations with the fashion police on social media. “I didn’t go to public school to be told how ‘I’m allowed’ to express myself … I can respect myself 150% and still wear shorts and a tank top,” Katelyn wrote on Twitter. “Maybe instead of worrying about what I’m wearing, you should worry about the fact that I’m going to graduate high school with next to no life skills whatsoever.” Others have shared photos of their rule-breaking outfits that have led to detention.
Maybe Katelyn should be protesting her lack of adequate high school education instead of her frustrations with the "fashion police".0 -
Having no children of my own and being past school age, my opinions are not very well formed on this subject.
However, I think certain clothes are inappropriate for children. And let's face it, high schoolers are children. Short shorts and take tops, in my opinion, can sometimes be..questionable. However, once you start saying that, then where should the line be? How short is too short, etc. Which I think is exactly the issue.
Overall I think there's too much focus on it. They're just clothes, chill out. How about we focus on the academics more?0 -
I think the issue people have with dress codes today are more about the sexism behind them rather than the actual code. The idea that it is the girl's responsibility to dress "modestly" and not wear yoga pants so as not to distract the boys. By punishing a girl for wearing something that is so called inappropriate, you are putting all the fault on her and taking all blame off the boy (or whoever is being distracted in this case).0
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I guess I don't understand the backlash. Those sound like the same rules I had in school in the late 90s. It's not like everyone always followed them and I think there was one time that a teacher made me put on a different shirt, but I knew I was breaking the rules. I didn't expect them to change them for me or not to enforce them. As far as the dress code being sexist, I suppose if more guys were wearing short shorts and cropped tops there would be more guys in detention for violating the dress code. These kids need parents that are willing to put their foot down. I don't care if mommy says it's okay outside of school. Inside of school you follow the schools rules.
I agree with this.
Plus I find the whole protest and outrage funny when in the article it says the parents had to sign off on the new dress code before the year started.0 -
I think the issue people have with dress codes today are more about the sexism behind them rather than the actual code. The idea that it is the girl's responsibility to dress "modestly" and not wear yoga pants so as not to distract the boys. By punishing a girl for wearing something that is so called inappropriate, you are putting all the fault on her and taking all blame off the boy (or whoever is being distracted in this case).
Quite. If men can't control themselves around women because of what the women are wearing the solution would appear to be some kind of burqa. These would slow the men down as they tend to be pretty heavy garments, keep their hands under control and prevent them seeing the women so clearly as vision is pretty limited through that little window.0 -
We had a similar dress code when I was in high school, and it really wasn't that big of a deal (12 years ago)! The rules for girls shorts were that nothing could "show" if bent over. All of mine fit into the dress code, until we got a new principal during the school year that said they had to be fingertip length. I have what I refer to as gorilla arms which would have put my shorts a few inches above my knees. This may not have been a problem if our school hadn't just had a huge gang fight and baggy & athletic clothing weren't allowed except in PE. I was pulled to the side by her and was told my shorts were inappropriate. My response was but I'm also not supposed to wear athletic type clothes bc I will be labeled as a gang member and its over 100 outside so what should I wear, since the handbook says my shorts are approved? She didn't have a response so I walked off and she never pulled me aside again.
I don't think kids should be allowed to wear some of the things that I have seen recently. Saw a girl walking from the high school yesterday with a shirt that was barely below her boobs, high waisted shorts about 1/2" from major camel toe & her cheeks hanging out of the back....THAT to me is inappropriate! I'm 30 and my mom (and husband) would ask me where the hell I was going if I went out of the house like that!0 -
Having no children of my own and being past school age, my opinions are not very well formed on this subject.
However, I think certain clothes are inappropriate for children. And let's face it, high schoolers are children. Short shorts and take tops, in my opinion, can sometimes be..questionable. However, once you start saying that, then where should the line be? How short is too short, etc. Which I think is exactly the issue.
Overall I think there's too much focus on it. They're just clothes, chill out. How about we focus on the academics more?
shadowofender, it sounds like you and I feel pretty much the same about this overall! But you mentioned "high schoolers are children" and for me that struck a chord somehow. Not that I disagree (unless we're talking about 18 year olds who are in their senior year home stretch), but I think that schools should be focusing more on getting high school students to that point where they are NOT children, and letting them effectively dress themselves is one way to do that, in my opinion.
I dunno. I might regret this post because it's not THAT well thought-out. I'm not saying there's one way that everyone "should dress" in life beyond high school...there's room for all kinds in the world. But I think sometimes, teens who have been held back a lot in expressing themselves tend to be less independent in other ways and for a longer period of time. Every student and family is different, and at the end of the day I'd say it's more for parents to decide if their teenage children are going to wear this or that, than the school administrators and teachers. But for me personally, being allowed to wear some things that were considered "bad" or punk/weird/etc was a part of creating my self-identity and by the time I was in college I felt like I was over that and ready for whatever came next. Not that someone with dreads and spiked clothes isn't an adult...some certainly are, and responsible at that...but I think there's just a lot of complicated stuff going on for most teens and being told they have to wear a polo and khakis could send some over the edge (I don't mean suicide/murder, I just mean like, extra angst and crazy).0 -
Holy.
ETA, that was to Melissay's post.0 -
Kids NEED guidance at that age. Dress codes are appropriate.
Dress appropriately. School is for learning. This might be a good reason to adopt school uniforms.
I had three daughters. We only had one incident as they went through school. They knew better.0 -
It is the rules we had in school and what my kids have now, except for the skinny jeans and tights. We have a problem here and it isn't the dress code. It is kids who don't respect authority, girls who don't know modesty, and boys who don't know how to respect and value young women. I have sons. My oldest is to dating age. If he wants to talk to a girl outside of school I check her social media sites. If she is dress poorly I tell him to move on. I tell my son don't seek or encourage behavior from a girl you like that you wouldn't want your sister doing as well.
I bet that goes over well. So you approve/dictate who your son can *talk* to, not just date?
Do you need a pilot's license to be a helicopter parent?
Few things to implement values go over well with kids at first. He lives in my home and I pay his bills. So yep, I get to be dictator to the degree I see fit. He isn't allowed to "talk to" (jr high version of dating) girls who I find don't behave as young ladies.
I not only have my license, I'm an instructor. This term is so played out...0 -
Ah, implied violence over how women dress. Where have I heard that before? Tali-something...0
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Same here! I knew better than to bring a note home, or god forbid they called my mom at work, my *kitten* would have been grass!
My husband and I are glad that my son has always worn uniforms. I'm not even sure that he realizes that not all kids wear uniforms. One of his schools gave the kids freedom to pick shirt colors as long as it had the school logo on it, the other two have been a strict uniform.Kids NEED guidance at that age. Dress codes are appropriate.
Dress appropriately. School is for learning. This might be a good reason to adopt school uniforms.
I had three daughters. We only had one incident as they went through school. They knew better.0 -
I think the issue people have with dress codes today are more about the sexism behind them rather than the actual code. The idea that it is the girl's responsibility to dress "modestly" and not wear yoga pants so as not to distract the boys. By punishing a girl for wearing something that is so called inappropriate, you are putting all the fault on her and taking all blame off the boy (or whoever is being distracted in this case).
This. People should know how to control themselves.0 -
If you're referring to the girls outfit I saw, that was my reaction exactly...along with WTF! It's hot where I live but it's not THAT hot!Holy ****.
ETA, that was to Melissay's post.0 -
Having no children of my own and being past school age, my opinions are not very well formed on this subject.
However, I think certain clothes are inappropriate for children. And let's face it, high schoolers are children. Short shorts and take tops, in my opinion, can sometimes be..questionable. However, once you start saying that, then where should the line be? How short is too short, etc. Which I think is exactly the issue.
Overall I think there's too much focus on it. They're just clothes, chill out. How about we focus on the academics more?
shadowofender, it sounds like you and I feel pretty much the same about this overall! But you mentioned "high schoolers are children" and for me that struck a chord somehow. Not that I disagree (unless we're talking about 18 year olds who are in their senior year home stretch), but I think that schools should be focusing more on getting high school students to that point where they are NOT children, and letting them effectively dress themselves is one way to do that, in my opinion.
I dunno. I might regret this post because it's not THAT well thought-out. I'm not saying there's one way that everyone "should dress" in life beyond high school...there's room for all kinds in the world. But I think sometimes, teens who have been held back a lot in expressing themselves tend to be less independent in other ways and for a longer period of time. Every student and family is different, and at the end of the day I'd say it's more for parents to decide if their teenage children are going to wear this or that, than the school administrators and teachers. But for me personally, being allowed to wear some things that were considered "bad" or punk/weird/etc was a part of creating my self-identity and by the time I was in college I felt like I was over that and ready for whatever came next. Not that someone with dreads and spiked clothes isn't an adult...some certainly are, and responsible at that...but I think there's just a lot of complicated stuff going on for most teens and being told they have to wear a polo and khakis could send some over the edge (I don't mean suicide/murder, I just mean like, extra angst and crazy).
See, we're friends because I think our thoughts are on the same level, just unsure how to express it in a way that makes sense. But I dtotally get what you're saying! And you're right, not all high schoolers are children. I'm going off my experiences, though. I graduated at 17 and had NO emotional maturity to speak of and school didn't help me one bit in preparing me for college or the real world. I went to a pretty conservative high school so there was a lot of focus on dress code, but the hot girls broke it all the time and no one really ever got in trouble for it. It wasn't a big deal.
Was I distracted by yoga pants and low cut shirts when I was 17? Oh god yes. Was I also distracted by the light flickering, the sunshine outside, hey it's raining, oh look a fly, hey that ceiling tile looks weird, etc., etc.,? Way more so than what other people were wearing.0 -
I think the issue people have with dress codes today are more about the sexism behind them rather than the actual code. The idea that it is the girl's responsibility to dress "modestly" and not wear yoga pants so as not to distract the boys. By punishing a girl for wearing something that is so called inappropriate, you are putting all the fault on her and taking all blame off the boy (or whoever is being distracted in this case).
This is exactly my issue with the dress codes, particularly those that forbid yoga pants. I don't believe most girls are wearing those to be "immodest" (whateer that means) or show off. In fact when I discussed that a ban on yoga pants with some of my younger college classmates they had no idea men thought they were "sexy". The students had just been wering them because they found them comfotable.
I thnk uniforms are a better solution than dress codes.0 -
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