School Dress Codes

I think it sounds like they are putting WAY too much focus on the clothes. Why not switch it to focusing on behavior...if someone's causing disruption or creating problems at school then of course that should be dealt with.

I think the school should look at choosing their battles a bit more -- the type of student who is all upset about not being able to wear their cropped top and skinny jeans is probably not a student who is going to cause more serious problems in any REAL way. So why create an issue where there is truly little to none? And why waste time policing it?

I live in a smallish Midwestern city and even here, administrators have way bigger issues to deal with like falling test scores, drugs, gang activity, teen pregnancy, hunger, etc... A teenager who shows up to school every morning and does their work is a good teenager for the most part. Why freak out about their clothing, hairstyle, piercings, etc? I think it's a big focus on a relatively small problem that should be a secondary concern if that...just my opinion, though.

I think that the thought is that dressing in a not modest way is a gateway to the other problems you mentioned. Hormones are crazy in teens - now put the girls in clothes that don't cover and maybe you end up with a few more teen pregnancies. I see the point on both sides... but if I were a mom... well I guess it doesn't matter what the school policy is because my kids aren't leaving the house until they're dressed properly (the real issue is parents, no?).

That dress code sounds an awful lot like the dress code for my office.

But I guess we should let them do whatever they want now because the "real world" doesn't have dress codes, ever.

I didn't go to school. Problem solved.


Seriously though, most of my friends when I was younger went to public school with uniforms, and they all said they liked having uniforms, that they didn't have to worry about what to wear to school every day, or who had more money to spend on fashion, etc. Part of me winces a little bit at the idea of uniforms because it starts tending toward an image of homogenized programming of the youth, but I think actually wardrobe is just such a huge distraction and superficial concern, that I think a policy of uniforms at school is probably a good idea. Outside of school, wear whatever you want.

Better yet would be a smaller, more localized system for schooling where everyone knows and respects each other and dresses accordingly, but that requires a whole educational overhaul!

To your point, uniforms are a great sigh of relief for families who do not have the income to compete with the fashion of the day. It puts everyone on a more equal socio-economic playing ground.

Seltzer - My kids do dress themselves, and have been for some time. They pick their clothes out at the store, and if they chose something I know is against dress code I let them know it can't be worn to school... spaghetti strap tank tops have to have something over them, halter dresses are not permitted, and they must remain very aware of how they are sitting and playing when wearing a dress and opting out of tights or leggings/shorts underneath. I explain to them that they have to abide by rules, and that not doing so as an adult can have consequences that are far more serious.

That's cool and all (I mean that sincerely)...but just to be clear, in my post I was talking about teens who are in high school and moving toward college, career, and adult life, not 7 and 9 year olds.

Also about the "helicopter parent" thing...I'm definitely not judging parents for however they wanna raise their children regardless of age...and I know you weren't referencing my post, but I just wanted to say that when I think of helicopter parents I'm thinking more of the moms and dads who request a copy of their COLLEGE AGE kid's syllabus and get the professor's email. Not. Okay. hehe

Yeah the helicopter parent portion wasn't aimed at you.

But the fact that I do put my foot down about things with my kids has been called out by other parents TO MY FACE. That lady got a mouthful from me, and then another parent sitting nearby chimed in agreeing with me. Lets just say I knew the mouthy mother's child and she had no room to be telling me how to parent. :grumble:

By the same token I've also lost a friend online because she felt I was expecting too much of my kids because I typically have them make and pack their own lunches. I remind them they need to pack a fruit and a veggie, and that just 2 slices of cheese and a flour tortilla does not constitute a lunch.

Can't win for losing. *shrug*

I might still tell my kids they are not leaving the house dressed inappropriately when they are teens, but I'm hoping that by being consistent with them now when they are older (the teen years are only 3 year and 2 months away) they will make good choices. We're fairly open in our home, so we explain modesty and that no one else gets to see certain body parts... and then my youngest recently asked why I see daddy naked, and I had to explain further (keeping it age appropriate, obviously). :laugh:

Most of us have dress codes at our jobs. One responsibility of schools is preparing students to be a part of the work force. Enforcing dress codes in school teaches students that there are consequences for refusing to follow rules and guidelines. They can wear whatever they like outside of school, just like I can wear what I like when I'm not at work. That being said, I do agree that sometimes the reasoning behind some of the rules can be sexist.

Given that the majority of them will hopefully graduate and move into the work force where they will most likely have to abide by some sort of dress code or uniform, I'd say it's much ado about nothing. Isn't school supposed to prepare them for life in general, as well as to cram them full of knowledge?

It is the rules we had in school and what my kids have now, except for the skinny jeans and tights. We have a problem here and it isn't the dress code. It is kids who don't respect authority, girls who don't know modesty, and boys who don't know how to respect and value young women. I have sons. My oldest is to dating age. If he wants to talk to a girl outside of school I check her social media sites. If she is dress poorly I tell him to move on. I tell my son don't seek or encourage behavior from a girl you like that you wouldn't want your sister doing as well.

So basically to teach your son that what a woman wears determines her worth as a human...

Wow! That's exactly what I said! How were you able to read between the lines so well?!

Um, seriously, if you can't see that telling your sons a woman is appropriate/inappropriate to date based on how she's dressed in photos on social media sites reduces her to her appearance and not at all respecting her as fully human....

I think a lot of good points have been made here about office/workplace dress codes being similar to school dress codes. I never really saw it that way, but I see your point(s)!

When I was a teen I always thought of school as a more laid back place to be, and I started working at a drugstore as a cashier during my sophomore year and I knew that I could NOT have visible tattoos or facial piercings at work, or wear jeans or open-toed shoes...that was so much easier for me to swallow, for whatever reason, than if I'd been told I couldn't wear something at school. I guess because of that big ol' hundred dollar paycheck I was bringing home ;-) But in all seriousness it was a growing experience for me, when friends would shave the side of their head and dye some of their hair blue all I could think was "wow it's gonna be hard to get a job with that" which probably makes me sound like a huge goody-goody, haha...but yeah. For me it was a lesson that my budding independence (which in great part came from those paychecks) was worth more to me than looking "cool".

I remember a kid in my 3rd grade class had a martini glass shaved into the back of his head!

A couple of years ago, I was dropping my daughter off at her elementary school. There was this kid, probably 1st or 2nd grade, cutest little guy! You could tell things were NOT right at home.

First off the shirt he was wearing was for an adult, NOT a child.

2nd, the shirt had pot leaves & guns printed on the front. =\ Srsly - wtf?!

The security guard (this VERY nice lady) took him aside and told him he couldn't wear that into school. The kid started CRYING. Apparently this wasn't the first time that week the egg donor had sent her child to school wearing something inappropriate. She did take him into the office, and they found him a different shirt to wear, but seriously? WTF?! Who sends their child to school in a pot leaf shirt? ugh....

Yes, I think dress codes are appropriate. Although with all the BS bullying - I WISH they'd go to uniforms. It would make my life as a parent MUCH easier to buy beige pants and navy blue shirts.

I also think if you send your child to school in something completely inappropriate you should be charged with being a total *kitten*. And the punishment? I should get to slap the *kitten* outta them!