I think my mother is trying to stop me from losing weight
Phill2488
Posts: 97 Member
Whenever I start watching what I'm eating my mother always ends up buying tons of junk food for me. Things like Cake, Doughnuts, Tons of chocolate etc. She says she buys them because I like them, but I find it suspicious that she does it whenever I want to start losing weight. When I tell her to stop, she tells me to stop being ridiculous, and that I don't need to lose weight
I know that I can refuse what she buys, but then I'd feel bad for not eating any of it because she went to the trouble to buy it for me.
I know that I can refuse what she buys, but then I'd feel bad for not eating any of it because she went to the trouble to buy it for me.
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Replies
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If you stop eating them she'll stop buying them. There's nothing wrong with having some of this if it fits in your calorie budget but don't eat it if you don't want to or it's making you go over on calories.0
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You could be ornery and take them, pretend to eat them, and throw them away instead. She will wonder how you are losing weight eating so much junk food!!! Haha.
Seriously though, you don't have to discuss it with her and make a "thing". Just don't eat them. If she asks, you aren't hungry.0 -
Passive agressive. Tell her to stop and tell her you are not going to eat them so she is wasting money. She's your mom, she's not going to fire you because you stand your ground.0
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As a 25 year old man you need to take responsibility. Your mother is not force feeding you. You have the power to say no and explain to her why. Rather than blame your mother you make the choice do you want to lose weight? If the answer is yes you know what to do. If though you don't carry on but it's not your mother's fault.0
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Whenever I start watching what I'm eating my mother always ends up buying tons of junk food for me. Things like Cake, Doughnuts, Tons of chocolate etc. She says she buys them because I like them, but I find it suspicious that she does it whenever I want to start losing weight. When I tell her to stop, she tells me to stop being ridiculous, and that I don't need to lose weight
I know that I can refuse what she buys, but then I'd feel bad for not eating any of it because she went to the trouble to buy it for me.
In another thread you say you are 5' 10" and 150lbs. Why are you trying to lose weight?0 -
Whenever I start watching what I'm eating my mother always ends up buying tons of junk food for me. Things like Cake, Doughnuts, Tons of chocolate etc. She says she buys them because I like them, but I find it suspicious that she does it whenever I want to start losing weight. When I tell her to stop, she tells me to stop being ridiculous, and that I don't need to lose weight
I know that I can refuse what she buys, but then I'd feel bad for not eating any of it because she went to the trouble to buy it for me.
In another thread you say you are 5' 10" and 150lbs. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Cause I'm not happy at this weight.0 -
25 years old why not move out and stop depending on your mom to buy you anything? Isn't it about time to grow up and start standing on your own as adult??? Also accept the personal responsibility on what you choose to eat.0
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My mother is doing the same thing. I now take her shopping and show her what the "approved" snacks that I'm allowing near me and my son. It's helping and now she is starting to eat these "approved" snacks also. I like to call it a bait and switch. lol. But in all seriousness.....buy your own food and turn down what she's buying. If you want to get healthy and you got to have "junk food" there are healthy choices out there. Stay strong, my friend, I believe in you!0
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Whenever I start watching what I'm eating my mother always ends up buying tons of junk food for me. Things like Cake, Doughnuts, Tons of chocolate etc. She says she buys them because I like them, but I find it suspicious that she does it whenever I want to start losing weight. When I tell her to stop, she tells me to stop being ridiculous, and that I don't need to lose weight
I know that I can refuse what she buys, but then I'd feel bad for not eating any of it because she went to the trouble to buy it for me.
In another thread you say you are 5' 10" and 150lbs. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Cause I'm not happy at this weight.
Listen to your mother. If you're 25 and can't see that what you're doing is the wrong solution, you need help getting on the right track.
Are you unhappy with your weight (the number on the scale) or the way you look and feel? If the number on the scale means the most to you, you're well on your way to getting a big problem so get help for it. If it's the way you look and feel, stop worrying about the scale, start lifting weights and adjust your caloric I take accordingly.0 -
Lets switch mothers, my doesn't buy me anything :-)
I do know the feeling, every other time that I decided I would go on a "diet" it would coincide with my father making something that I absolutely adore. And I would eat way too much of it and the diet would stop right there.
This time though I'm buying my own food, ignoring whatever they prepare. They stopped suggesting I eat their food, they started cooking in smaller quantities, and there aren't as many sweets lying around the house any more (they still eat them, they just don't leave them everywhere). It took some time but we got used to it. It just takes a bit of willpower.0 -
Im 5'10" 150# female. Are you unhappy withy the weight (which is slim for a female) or your body composition?Whenever I start watching what I'm eating my mother always ends up buying tons of junk food for me. Things like Cake, Doughnuts, Tons of chocolate etc. She says she buys them because I like them, but I find it suspicious that she does it whenever I want to start losing weight. When I tell her to stop, she tells me to stop being ridiculous, and that I don't need to lose weight
I know that I can refuse what she buys, but then I'd feel bad for not eating any of it because she went to the trouble to buy it for me.
In another thread you say you are 5' 10" and 150lbs. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Cause I'm not happy at this weight.0 -
QFT!!!Whenever I start watching what I'm eating my mother always ends up buying tons of junk food for me. Things like Cake, Doughnuts, Tons of chocolate etc. She says she buys them because I like them, but I find it suspicious that she does it whenever I want to start losing weight. When I tell her to stop, she tells me to stop being ridiculous, and that I don't need to lose weight
I know that I can refuse what she buys, but then I'd feel bad for not eating any of it because she went to the trouble to buy it for me.
In another thread you say you are 5' 10" and 150lbs. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Cause I'm not happy at this weight.
Listen to your mother. If you're 25 and can't see that what you're doing is the wrong solution, you need help getting on the right track.
Are you unhappy with your weight (the number on the scale) or the way you look and feel? If the number on the scale means the most to you, you're well on your way to getting a big problem so get help for it. If it's the way you look and feel, stop worrying about the scale, start lifting weights and adjust your caloric I take accordingly.0 -
you are 25.
you could move out and buy your own groceries.
just a thought
I had a mom, she tried to run my life, I didn't like it. I moved out and grew some balls.
it worked.0 -
You are 25.... Man up...take responsibility for yourself. You control what you put in your mouth.0
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M.T.F.U0
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It sounds like she's pretty good at her sick little game. You need to be coy and outsmart her. Your best strategy could be to lose weight covertly. Don't talk about weight, food, fitness, exercise, etc. Just go about your business. If anyone comments on your food choices, appearance, or exercise habits, play dumb or say "I like salad" or "Oh really?"
EDIT: Ignore everything above, I just read the post where you said you're 5'10" and 150 lbs. You don't need to lose weight. However, the above advice is good for people who do need to lose weight.0 -
You're 25 years old! Just because it's in the house doesn't mean you have to eat it!0
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This. In another post you state that you are eating 1300 calories a day and on your splurge days you're eating about 1700 calories. You are going to need far more than that. You are not overweight, and if you are unhappy with how your body looks, you likely need to gain muscle mass not lose more weight. You need to look into a progressive resistance program. Your other post says you lift weights, so look into starting strength or strong lifts. Lift heavier weights, and eat more food.Whenever I start watching what I'm eating my mother always ends up buying tons of junk food for me. Things like Cake, Doughnuts, Tons of chocolate etc. She says she buys them because I like them, but I find it suspicious that she does it whenever I want to start losing weight. When I tell her to stop, she tells me to stop being ridiculous, and that I don't need to lose weight
I know that I can refuse what she buys, but then I'd feel bad for not eating any of it because she went to the trouble to buy it for me.
In another thread you say you are 5' 10" and 150lbs. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Cause I'm not happy at this weight.
Listen to your mother. If you're 25 and can't see that what you're doing is the wrong solution, you need help getting on the right track.
Are you unhappy with your weight (the number on the scale) or the way you look and feel? If the number on the scale means the most to you, you're well on your way to getting a big problem so get help for it. If it's the way you look and feel, stop worrying about the scale, start lifting weights and adjust your caloric I take accordingly.
And listen to your mother; it seems like in this case, she knows what she is talking about.0 -
Seriously? The 25 year old 5'10" male who weighs 150lbs needs to lose weight?It sounds like she's pretty good at her sick little game. You need to be coy and outsmart her. Your best strategy could be to lose weight covertly. Don't talk about weight, food, fitness, exercise, etc. Just go about your business. If anyone comments on your food choices, appearance, or exercise habits, play dumb or say "I like salad" or "Oh really?"0 -
Whenever I start watching what I'm eating my mother always ends up buying tons of junk food for me. Things like Cake, Doughnuts, Tons of chocolate etc. She says she buys them because I like them, but I find it suspicious that she does it whenever I want to start losing weight. When I tell her to stop, she tells me to stop being ridiculous, and that I don't need to lose weight
I know that I can refuse what she buys, but then I'd feel bad for not eating any of it because she went to the trouble to buy it for me.
In another thread you say you are 5' 10" and 150lbs. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Cause I'm not happy at this weight.
Listen to your mother. If you're 25 and can't see that what you're doing is the wrong solution, you need help getting on the right track.
Are you unhappy with your weight (the number on the scale) or the way you look and feel? If the number on the scale means the most to you, you're well on your way to getting a big problem so get help for it. If it's the way you look and feel, stop worrying about the scale, start lifting weights and adjust your caloric I take accordingly.
To play devil's advocate it's possible he's done the bolded and is trying to adjust his caloric intake. I'm 5'10.5" and hover around 150-155lb but am pretty much skinny fat, with not a lot of muscle mass and quite a lot of fat to lose still. Ideally I want to get down to ~12% bf or less before I start a slow bulk, and to do that it looks like I'll need to get down close to ~140lb. OP may ofc have a body image or eating issue but just based on the information he's supplied that's not a given.0 -
Seriously? The 25 year old 5'10" male who weighs 150lbs needs to lose weight?It sounds like she's pretty good at her sick little game. You need to be coy and outsmart her. Your best strategy could be to lose weight covertly. Don't talk about weight, food, fitness, exercise, etc. Just go about your business. If anyone comments on your food choices, appearance, or exercise habits, play dumb or say "I like salad" or "Oh really?"
I only read the first post, not the entire thread.0 -
OK this is what I was wondering even on your goal it's 15 lbs. to lose and when you post on another thread that you are 5'10" and 150lbs the ideal wt. for a male of 25 yrs. is 158 - 170 (w/o muscular build) I can see why your mom thinks you don't need to lose wt. sounds to me like she is trying to find things that will keep you from being underweight....0
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For those insisting he should move out - maybe stop to consider it might be beyond him due to circumstances, finances, etc. Sadly, in this big bad world of ours, things go wrong in life and you need to rely on others for a while. Don't be so judgmental, unless you want people to look down at your whenever you require anyone's help.
Going back to the original question, you don't have to eat what people buy you - sorry, but that excuse about politeness/obligation/etc isn't going to wash. Either turn it down or as someone else has suggested, accept it and bin it. I appreciate that when something is placed in front of you it can be a challenge to your will power. Because it's supposed to be, nice stuff is always tempting. You just have to ask yourself what do you want more, to lose weight or to eat the sickly, nice things.
I completely understand about wanting to losing weight, even when you're at a weight others think you should be happy with. I've gotten as low as 9:9 lbs and felt like I'm too heavy, when you know - you just know. You just have to go steady with weight loss and you'll know when you've reached the right number. I'm going to avoid patronising you about eating disorders and credit you with enough intelligence to know what will be a good, healthy weight for you to be going off the mirror, scales and measurements. All the best.0 -
My mom used to buy me running shoes.0
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You just have to go steady with weight loss and you'll know when you've reached the right number. I'm going to avoid patronising you about eating disorders and credit you with enough intelligence to know what will be a good, healthy weight for you to be going off the mirror, scales and measurements.
> implying that anyone who ever suffers from an eating disorder lacks intelligence? Nice.0 -
You are 25.... Man up...take responsibility for yourself. You control what you put in your mouth.
I totally agree with this. You're an adult and you choose what to put in your mouth, not your mother. And you shouldn't feel bad about saying no to eating the junk food either. Why? Because she's an adult and she chooses what she buys, not you. Do you see how that works?0 -
Time to start building that muscle~!
( Which will make you look leaner overall, ( If that's what you're going for, it can also be used to bulk up and gain muscle definition, ooh baby lol ), but give you the strength for daily activities / emergency situations. )
http://www.reddit.com/r/ketogains
Also, I'd like to point out that saying "man up" is an engendered response, and not entirely pc.
My gay brother in law is also very skinny, and would like to put on some muscle so that he looks more fit, and telling a person to man-up is just an easy way to answer without actually putting any thought into the situation while simultaneously putting the human you are responding to into your own little box. Plus, rude yo'.
Hang in there OP~! According to your BMI ( which is very accurate except for the malnourished or extreme bodybuilders, yay science! ), you are smack dab in the middle of the healthy range. So you're off to a great start already~!
Again, it's a range, so there's nothing wrong with wanting to reach the lower end of that range.
But of course I've given you the link to Keto Gains because losing weight may make the scale drop, but gaining muscle will make you LOOK thinner, even though the numbers on the scale will rise a little.
It's all up to you and what you want to do.
As for your Mom, I've found that the best way to deal with passive aggressive people is to be very forthcoming with them.
Have a brief but serious conversation with her, and tell her that "while you appreciate that she loves you enough the way that you are, you are currently unhappy and would like to change some things about your body", also that "you would really appreciate her support" and that "you need her to know that even if she buys junk food for you because she knows you like them, that you are going to have to stop eating those things for a little while to achieve the goals you want", and that it's "not forever, so don't worry."
Also, go into that conversation with a game plan. Hopefully this will ease her mind, and she won't think that you're on some kind of crash diet or aiming for an eating disorder.
Know how long it might take you, what you need to do and eat to get there, and find a support group on Facebook that has real-time posts from users who share the same goals as you do.
You can do it, OP.
Your age doesn't matter. What matters is strengthening and repairing the type of relationship you have with your mom, opening the lines of communication, and knowing when to say "no thank you" when you really need to.
Good luck~! 0 -
Whenever I start watching what I'm eating my mother always ends up buying tons of junk food for me. Things like Cake, Doughnuts, Tons of chocolate etc. She says she buys them because I like them, but I find it suspicious that she does it whenever I want to start losing weight. When I tell her to stop, she tells me to stop being ridiculous, and that I don't need to lose weight
I know that I can refuse what she buys, but then I'd feel bad for not eating any of it because she went to the trouble to buy it for me.
In another thread you say you are 5' 10" and 150lbs. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Gasp! Busted. Yeah, I wanna know why you want to lose wieght if you are 5'10" and 150. That's perfect.0 -
No, not at all - but if that's how you read that I'd probably be wasting my time explaining it to you. And I just don't care enough to want to.You just have to go steady with weight loss and you'll know when you've reached the right number. I'm going to avoid patronising you about eating disorders and credit you with enough intelligence to know what will be a good, healthy weight for you to be going off the mirror, scales and measurements.
> implying that anyone who ever suffers from an eating disorder lacks intelligence? Nice.0 -
It is entirely possible that he is unhappy with his body composition and wants to lose body fat and gain muscle. He could try to recomp, or he could try to lose the fat first, which would also result in losing weight, and then bulk later. Not all 5'10" 150lb bodies are the same by a long shot.0
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