I almost beat someone over a banana at Kroger yesterday!

Sal has had the stomach virus for the past 3 days, so after work yesterday I dressed Lilliana and we went to Kroger to get him some crackers, gatorade and to grab some groceries (They have their white seedless grapes for .97 per lb right now BTW).

It was getting close to dinner time so Lilliana started to get hungry. We walked by the bananas and she loves bananas so she asked if she could have one. I felt really bad that she was hungry, so I grabbed one bunch of bananas. When I grabbed the bunch, Lilliana said "Mamma, at one" which means she wants one. This lady next to me looks at me like I just stuck a box of cookies in my purse and says "You can not do that, you know you have to pay for the bananas by the weight?". I looked at her and said "Yes, I realize this, and I will tell the lady at the register that my daughter ate a banana from the bunch, and I will pay for it".

Dude, I realize that bananas are charged by weight and I wasn't trying to scam Kroger, but I knew Lilliana was hungry and I 100% planned on letting the cashier know that I had fed her one banana and she needed to charge me somehow for it. I really didn't feel like walking up to the register and paying for the bunch of bananas on their own and then going back to continue shopping. The other option would have been to tell Lilliana no and make her wait until dinner to eat, but I knew she was hungry and I didn't think one freakin' banana was a big *kitten* deal. So technically she was right, but seriously fluck off woman.

Anyways, when I said that I would pay for it she says "Yeah, but they have to weigh the bananas and that is how they charge you" in this panic of a voice. Well, I got pissy, it's like lady mind your own damnn business, i'm not trying to be sneaky about stealing a flippin' banana, *kitten*. I said "Seriously, how about you worry about the groceries in your cart and I will worry about the banana my daughter is eating and how I will pay for it." I walked away.

Lilliana ate the banana, I put the peel back in the bag with the bunch of bananas and we moved on with our shopping.

When I got to the cash register, the psycho banana lady happened to be behind me (was she trying to see if I was really going to pay for the banana or not so she could call 911 on grand theft charges if I happened to not mention to the cashier that my daughter ate a banana from the bunch?). I said to the cashier "My daughter ate a banana from this bunch, please be sure to charge me for the banana". The cashier who happened to have the manager next to her getting cash or something said "Oh, don't worry about it, it's just a banana" and the manager looked at Lilliana and said "did you eat all of your banana? Was it good?" and then looked at me and said "The bananas are what .59 a pound? Please don't worry about the 10 cents".

I sure as hell did look behind me and gave the psycho banana lady a smile and walked off.

B!tch, i'll b!tch slap you with a banana.