Motivated...but not.

I agree you can't count on long term motivation. I have slumps and self doubt what seems like every other week or every month. Times I wonder if I can really do this. To me that is fairly normal.

One thing you've said op that's a red flag to me is making healthy choices for five days and then making one unhealthy one. You may need to stop thinking of food as good or bad. If your goal is weight loss what you need is a calorie deficit, and cake can be part of that plan. Some people prefer to work it into their calorie goals in advance, others prefer to adjust things after a huge calorie meal. Personally I won't keep the cake or donuts at home, but if I have occasion to have a small piece at work or buy a single serving, no biggie you just have to figure out what it'll take for you to come out at an over all deficit

As far as exercise, it could be as simple as finding something you'll love. Are there any forms of exercise you've been curious to try?

Eating out is my weakness, too! When you eat out, share a meal with your husband, or resolve to only eat half of the meal, and take the rest home to have another day. If you share a meal, you'll both save some money, AND you'll have a guilt-free meal!

While I was working in I.T. at a hospital some years back, one of the chefs—a nutritionist—said really stuck with me. He had stopped thinking of food as a comfort, but as a tool. You have to carefully consider everything you're putting into your body. It's not just about the calories, but what kind of food one eats and how it will affect you.

You can still have whatever you want, but you have to think about what a healthy portion is For instance, I love chocolate. I know I can have one piece of Dove chocolate in the morning and I'll be okay. How I eat my food matters, too! I find that I'll take little nibbles of that piece of chocolate and savor every little bite. I used to just pop the whole thing in my mouth, and then it's gone. When I slow down to savor it, I find I don't need to reach for another piece.

I keep motivated and disciplined because I want to get and keep a better, trim body. I also have a family history of diabetes, cancer, and heart disease. I don't want to spend my twilight years feeling miserable because I didn't take care of myself now. In my later years, I'd rather not feel miserable/be in pain every day for the rest of my life. Thinking about that sure lit a fire under my own butt!

P.S. I know a lot of people operate in an M.O. of "Tough Love" around here. While I appreciate that your goal is to be helpful, try not to be too harsh (I'm already my toughest critic, as I know the only reason I'm not succeeding is myself). I'm more looking for stories of people who have turned their lives around and found that they loved the new way of life more than the old. And maybe some advice on how to get there MENTALLY.

Random people on a forum can't fix your melon. You already know the problem, and the solution.

Good luck!

:drinker:

One other thing ... It is really hot down here in Florida. I get up at 5:00 every morning to do my walking prior to taking my daughter to school. It's out of the way and I don't focus on it during the day so that I can't make excuses.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: Hey girl! Have SO 'been there, done that'......as a matter of fact, I'm back here after gaining back 30 lbs. (of a 70 lb. wt. loss!!)

I know how to lose the weight. I know how to keep it off. My problem is denial (and I DON'T mean the river)!!! When I stop tracking my weight, I start kidding myself that I'm 'naturally thin' and begin sliding back into bad eating habits. My biggest downfall is snacking at night......carbs! My biggest 'aha' since being back is that the nutrition info on the food we eat really DOESN'T lie.

You know how we laugh at the serving size on the packages? Like, how in the world is 1/4 c. of peanuts a 'serving'? I can sit down and blindly eat half the can in my snacking mode.....while watching a movie.......and denying that I'm packing on the pounds! What I've finally begun to understand is that my body will cooperate if I set small, sensible goals.

This week is my first week back, so I knew I needed to break the blind snacking cycle. I also knew from past experience that I could do it.......if I could overcome the cravings/addictions. The first hurdle was to get off gluten.....my body bloats and feels much worse when I'm eating gluten, yet when I eat it I crave more....go figure! The other hurdle was to break the 'oral fixation' of putting food in my mouth when I'm not hungry.....esp. at night.

I've been journaling everything I thought or felt regarding food, emotions, eating triggers, etc. this week. There was one night in particular that was so hard.....I wanted to snack on carbs so badly! I journaled RIGHT THEN and realized that the night before I had gone to bed early and slept through all those cravings/triggers! The difficult night I was up late, watching a movie, and my subconscious was telling me to put food in my mouth. I wasn't hungry.....just snacky!

The other thing I would suggest is to have your thyroid tested. Believe it or not, there's a huge problem with people and thyroid problems. I always laughed at that and thought that was an excuse for being overweight.....until my doctor suggested I be tested when I told him I was always tired, always thirsty. Yep.....hypothyroidism! The numbers don't lie! lol

What I've found out this week is that thyroid problems are a SYMPTOM of bigger problems, and I've ordered supplements to help balance out what's going on with my body. I haven't mentioned that at my best I eat Vegan.....gluten-free Vegan, to be exact. I began this when I was losing the 70 lbs. because I realized that my biggest food enemies were in the animal and gluten categories.....dairy and wheat to be exact. Those were the foods I overate. Those foods controlled ME......not I them!! If I sat down with a box of Cheese Nips I could eat the whole box......then HATE myself afterwards......then do it again the next night. When I ate ice cream I'd eat a heaping bowl......then sit there trying to resist the urge to go get a second bowl.......then give in......then hate myself. I've been off the animal products for over a year, which is why I think I didn't gain the whole 70 lbs. back. But I caved on the gluten, ignored the signals my body was giving me, and eventually was binge eating.

If you can see a pattern of red flags in your behavior that are sabotaging your success, I suggest you pick one or two to address immediately. For instance, the eating out is a HUGE difficulty.....understandably so! I would ask my husband to HELP ME break bad habits by NOT eating out for a month.....at least. You're just getting your feet under you. It's hard enough to track food when you're making it yourself, let alone trying to figure out what is on the menu and resist bad choices. If you have to eat out, I'd pick someplace 'safe' where you know what you are going to order beforehand, then ask your husband for support in sticking with your resolve. If there's something that's a weakness for you (pasta for me!), ask him not to order it, also. If the wait staff bring chips or bread with the meal, ask them not to, or just ask for one.

I know what it feels like to hate yourself because of your weight. I was there before the 70 lb. weight loss. I am not there now. I see that our society places value on people based on their weight.....I've been treated COMPLETELY differently before and after!!! That is so arbitrary and untrue!!! You are a child of God created in His image, and for that reason alone you are valuable! We all are walking, talking miracles!!! THAT's the TRUTH I embrace! Not some fleeting surface image Hollywood has forced upon us. Just get healthy for YOU! No pressure elsewhere......just get healthy for you! And kudos to you for being here and being honest!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

Actually, that's not true, or we wouldn't all be here. This reply was neither helpful or necessary.

Hey there, I'll share a bit of advice I read some time ago that helps me:

No zero days: That is, when it comes to exercise, commit yourself to doing at least a few minutes everyday. Usually, when you do those few minutes, you will feel energized enough to do more. Even if you don't feel ready to do more, at least you did something. Everyday, do something.

Past self, present self, future self: Express gratitude for the things that your past self did to bring you where your are today (for example, your past self decided to post on MFP asking for advice. Your present self gets to receive advice. Thank your past self for taking that first step), and do things for your future self. Yes, eating that third slice of pizza would taste great to your present self, but what about the tomorrow you, the you that will feel regret or what about the you in two months, the you that will probably weigh more and have to buy larger clothes because of what your present self is doing today? Think about your future self (you want to be thinner and fitter). Everyday, do things that will support your future self.

Focus on where you want to be. Read a book on the importance of self-discipline. Do all that you can do for yourself!

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Random people on a forum can't fix your melon. You already know the problem, and the solution.

Good luck!

:drinker:
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Actually, that's not true, or we wouldn't all be here. This reply was neither helpful or necessary.

If you take the advice if people who say weigh and record everything, then the reason its needed is becayse it educates you into what you are putting into your body, how much of each food you get for your calories as a true reflection of how many your body needs for the work it is doing. The idea that you are getting annoyed with restricting calories just soynds like an excuse against what we all have to face up to, which is we probably all need to eat less becayse we have been burning a lot less than we eat. If you eat more then you get the side effect of putting on weight. Its as simple as that.

So what does MFP say? Creat a deficit so you burn more than you eat and that gets rid of some of the weight.

Do you need to restrict food types? Not really becayse you just eat smaller portions. Go to restaurants, but choose wisely or have smaller portions. Recording what you eat is the only way of getting a good idea what you consume. Its important you have that knowledge.

I said i wouldnt calorie count but then when I saw the benefits i.e understanding your diet, getting into a good habit, getting info on portion size, feeling more in control , then it took me 3 days to realise I was a chump if I did not. I just use it as a guide and top it up with exercise. I dont restrict what I eat, although I try and make healthier choices. Its about lifestyle change. If you want to fit into your clothes again, then it would make sense to know what it is you are attempting and how it will all work.

Btw swimming and walking are excellent forms of exercise. talk to your gp about weight loss and maybe seeing a nutritionist or a physio , the latter to suggest routines you cna do taking your back into account.

Oh and I hope there isnt anything too tough in there because , it wasnt meant to be,

Get some ood mfp friends who have direction if you need motivating, but it will still come down to you doing it for you or your loved ones.

Well it seems you have identified the main problem...making excuses.

Now that you admit that to yourself, it's time to stop them and get on with achieving your goals!

Baby steps are key! You need to pick one thing that you feel like you can change (and make it a small thing). Change that one thing the first week (or two...whatever you need), then when that small change has become habit, work on something else. I am finding that, with 2 kids, I have to either work out in the mornings, or I might not get in a work out at all, so I made a goal to get up once a week. When I accomplished that a couple weeks in a row, I moved it up to 2 mornings a week. You get the drift.
Motivation will wax and wane. You're human. Self-discipline will wax and wane. The point is, TRY. That's all you can do at this point. As long as you have it in your head to make a change in yourself, you've taken that first step. That's the hardest one! Keep going, girl! You can do it!!

I know a lot of people say that you have to wait until you are TRULY ready. But I don't know that everybody has an epiphany moment like that. I think some people have to simply decide that they want to be healthy more than they want to eat junk all the time.

This really hits home, for me. I spent years telling myself I'd get around to it, it'll happen someday, I'll have that moment that just pushes me over the edge into a blissfully happy and healthy lifestyle.

Fast forward to now. I'm 32 years old and I'm so ashamed and embarrassed by the shape I'm in. I didn't have an epiphany; nothing happened to jolt me into my awareness. But, I did realize that if I keep waiting for "that moment", I'm gonna waste the life I'm living NOW.

I'm still new to this. Well, that's not true. I've been through this many times and gave up. This time, I feel like it might be different. I don't want to go do the doctor and learn I'm diabetic and THEN decide I need to change my life. I want to avoid that day. So I'm working on it, one day at a time.

It's a tough road and I know it won't be fast or easy but the alternative is unacceptable. If I do nothing, in five years I'll be 37, severely overweight and probably sick. If I keep working, I'll feel better about myself, mentally and physically, I'll be able to run 5k's or more with my nieces and nephews, I'll have something to be proud of.

I realized that nothing and no one can change my mind but me.

Good luck to you! I believe in you and I also believe that, if you keep working on it, soon you'll believe in yourself, too!