WHY did you gain weight?

I found that a lot of people become obese because food is one thing in their lives that they have full control over....or at least they think they have full control over it, but what they don't realize is that the food actually has control over them. It is similar with anorexia . That is one study I've seen anyway. The other is like you are saying, emotional eating/ not eating... I gained significant weight when my son and father died within about a year of each other (among a few other really important people in my life passing away within that year as well...) What I found helped me though is seeing a psychologist about what the root of the problem really is.
Maybe you feel out of control with things in your life like I said above and food is the only thing in your life you can really "control" but maybe it is something deeper that you just haven't come to terms with yet.... You don't even need to see a psychologist, just try having a seriously deep conversation with a close friend ect....

Besides the obvious "I ate too much," trying to soothe painful feelings is the main reason I have had such a difficult relationship with food. In the case of my weight gain a few years ago, my beloved little pug died of kidney disease and I pretty much grieved with buckets of food. In general, this is what I've done, though. I didn't use the tools I had from years of therapy--both behavioral and talk--to handle my feelings in ways that didn't hurt my body. I've had a fair bit of trauma in my life, and overindulgence in things that could numb me--alcohol, drugs, food--was my main way of dealing with fear, grief, anger, loss etc. I'm sober now, so food is the last thing I need to work out. Slowly, I am disconnecting from food as a cure--since that "cure" is destructive. I work on the simple health part--eat less, move more--and am starting to use other tools to cope with pain.

I gained weight because I was lazy, ate the wrong foods and too much of it.

The underlying reason .. well, I think self esteem and confidence has a lot to do with it. I have to learn to love myself in order to keep the weight off. Hopefully my journey will lead up to that

I'm pretty sure I gained because A) I was lazy and I met my husband and we became fat and happy together. It turns out that I found out I have PCOS, which makes it harder to lose weight, but I won't let that be an excuse. Since I've been diagnosed, I've lost all of the weight that I have tracked on MFP. That's why I won't let myself use it as a reason I can't lose!

My weight is so bad because of many different reasons, so that's why it's so hard to lose it.

When I was little, we were very, very, very, very poor. At times, when I had to live with my biological mother, I would have no idea if I was going to have any meal at home, so I ate every single bit of my free school lunch and breakfast. It didn't matter if I was full to bursting or not. There I was, 5 years old, actually scared of starving to death. So now whenever I get food, doesn't matter how much it is, unless I'm actively thinking about it, I eat it all, whether I'm still hungry or not. I don't even necessarily enjoy it.

Along with bad habits, was that when we did have food, we weren't really given good food (healthy) or appropriate portions (too much for a small child). Then we were forced to eat it all, hungry or not. That's still stuck with me.

I never had the option of choosing what I got to eat until I got kicked out at 17 years old. I had to eat what was made, or nothing. So...heavily fried, fatty, breaded southern food. About the time I was hitting puberty when a lot of kids would lose their baby fat, I just had more and more.

I was able to keep it slightly in check for a while, but eventually my PCOS kicked in full force and losing weight just wasn't something I was able to do on my own. Trust me, I tried... which just depressed me and food became one of the only things that kept me happy.

So here I am today, on medication. The weight is coming off..slowly, depressingly slow, but at least it's coming off.

Because I started (wait for it) eating more and moving less.

So This.

Because I love food and I didn't care for sports or being active that much. It's as simple as that. I grew up eating food I loved when I wanted it, never caring of what amount was reasonable and what wasn't, and I was always overweight but it wasn't that bad because I walked a lot, then I moved to the US, where you pretty much have to take the car to go anywhere, and I gained 60 pounds or something.

Honestly it gets a bit annoying that everyone thinks there is always an emotional/psychological reason for overeating. Some of us just really love food. Add to that a special love for sweets, and there you go. In my case too I've never had a job that really took my mind off things (my only two jobs in the last 10 years were in French bakeries... need I say more?), so I've always had a lot of time to be bored and think about food. Easier to think about food and eat when your mind is not busy (and I don't think there's anything 'emotional' about this. When I'm bored I think of everything I like, and food just happens to be one of them).

I was very gangly and thin as a child and then when I went to a 4 year university I became 'skinny fat'. I could eat whatever I wanted and still maintain a nice figure however I was by no means healthy. After graduating from college in 2011, I am about 35 pounds heavier then I should be. Also, I started seeing my now fiancée in 2009 and we have both become comfortable and both of gain love weight, . I am trying to get back to exercising and eating healthy and be healthy overall.

I hate that the experts try to say that if you do this, or if you skip that you will lose the weight. I believe that each of us is individual. Each of us is totally unique - so there is no one right answer or solution for any of us. For each of us it is an individual journey and thanks to this site - there are always lots of people offering help, advice, and friendship.

Now it is Monday and I have to pick myself up, put on my "big girl pants", and get myself back on track. Thanks for making me think about what I've been doing to hurt my diet for the last couple of days.

I ate more and refused to exercise

Because I love food and I didn't care for sports or being active that much. It's as simple as that. I grew up eating food I loved when I wanted it, never caring of what amount was reasonable and what wasn't, and I was always overweight but it wasn't that bad because I walked a lot, then I moved to the US, where you pretty much have to take the car to go anywhere, and I gained 60 pounds or something.

Honestly it gets a bit annoying that everyone thinks there is always an emotional/psychological reason for overeating. Some of us just really love food. Add to that a special love for sweets, and there you go. In my case too I've never had a job that really took my mind off things (my only two jobs in the last 10 years were in French bakeries... need I say more?), so I've always had a lot of time to be bored and think about food. Easier to think about food and eat when your mind is not busy (and I don't think there's anything 'emotional' about this. When I'm bored I think of everything I like, and food just happens to be one of them).

I don't think that anyone said that there is always an emotional/psychological reason for overeating. Sometimes...it is purely for a lack of self-control. I also think that there are times that it is a combination of things. Maybe not caring enough about yourself to just say NO.

For me...

I was never thin...always on the bigger side of life though not obese. I fluctuated from a healthy weight to maybe 20lbs overweight. I was the lifestyle that I had at the time. Then...

I had a teenager that was "unhappy"...a toddler that had health issues...a husband that was very sick and depressed...more work to get done on my own...and was struggling to keep my sanity.

How did this turn out...my daughter got pregnant...my husband committed suicide...my son was so young and confused. Me...I felt guilty...unworthy...simply because I couldn't fix things for everyone. I had always done so before...this time...I just couldn't.

During my husbands depression he said some fairly horrible things to me...while I understood they were said out of his illness and the influence of the medication that he was taking...they still took their toll on me.

To make a long story short...I hid behind food...my wall of fat that it created...that way...no one else would want me...thus I wouldn't be hurt again...nor would I disappoint anyone but myself.

So yes...food...lots of it...can be like a sedative for some of us. That might annoy you but it happens.

I don't blame anyone else...I allowed this to happen...but it was set off by events in my life that I had no control over.

When I set out to "fix" myself...I had to take a look at all of those things I mentioned...I even went as far back as my childhood looking for clues as to why I didn't care enough about myself to allow this to happen. Some of the answers were not pleasant...but they were revealing.

I still work on those things...I still battle feeling worthy of a "healthy and fit life". I have had to learn not everything in life is my fault and I can't "fix" everything. I can however "fix" myself...or at least make strides in that direction.

I've been obese my entire life. I still remember the many fast food trips my mom would take me on, every time her and dad argued and she decided to take me out of the house for awhile. I had some pretty bad eating habits early on. And while taking martial arts helped me stay active and gave me high endurance for someone of my weight, I couldn't out run my eating. Then around age 17 I ruptured a disc in my back, had to quit martial arts. Did almost two years of physical therapy because they said I was too young for surgery. By the time I had surgery at 19 I was completely inactive, almost paralyzed on one side of my body from nerve damage, and 100 lbs heavier.

I SO agree with this. I too lost my father at a young age (5) and was a pretty awkward young girl. I think that ever since I was old enough to know what "pretty" was I just didn't think it was something I had. I was bullied for being the smart kid and I was convinced that my only redeaming qualities were my intelligence and my sense of humor. To this day I still struggle with the belief that I am attractive and I am desirable. Thanks to my VERY loving and doting boyfriend I am starting to realize how unrealistic my feelings were and still are. I have yo-yo dieted ever since I was 13 years old and always lose 15-30 then gain it right back. I think the only way I will keep it off is to realize that not only do I deserve health and happiness but that I am capable of achieving it.

Feel free to add me all

1.) I love good food.

2.) My dad resented having to pay for things like youth league sports and loved playing computer games. As a result, I had to stop playing softball (not that I was good) and spent more and more time in front of a screen. The year I stopped playing ball coincides with the year I started gaining.

3.) I've struggled with severe depression since I was in middle school. I gained a lot of weight (~50) when they started me on Zoloft and kept a steady increase after they took me off. Again, around the same time I stopped playing softball.

4.) I was recently diagnosed with narcolepsy, and we're pretty sure that it started in middle school. Undiagnosed narcoleptics snack a lot in a subconscious attempt to get energy, and it's also thought to affect the metabolism. Related: unreal daily Mountain Dew consumption.


All of that boils down to: I was eating more and moving less, obviously. I had a miserable home life and my parents were too worried about other things to help me tackle it. Now, I'm an adult and it's no ones problem but mine!