I'm at my wits end.

uponwishingstars1
uponwishingstars1 Posts: 11 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have been on and off dieting for the past four years. When I was 18, I ate 1,000 calories a day, and worked out 40 min on the wii. I lost 60 pounds in less than five months. I went from being 192 to 135. I was really skinny. I was fitting in like I'd never had before, and I felt like being skinny was like having a membership to an exclusive club. It was great. And then I got a boyfriend.

A year later I'm 210 pounds. I couldn't believe it. So I started losing weight, this time eating 1200 calories a day and working out 30 min on the elliptical. I got down to 175 in a couple of months and then the weight loss stopped. Wouldn't budge. At all.

So I researched and researched and researched. I know every little weight loss myth and pattern and everything. So I try upping calories, upping work out, nothing. I go atkins. Paleo. Vegan. "Healthy". "Portioning". Nothing. I give up.

And now I'm 21, almost 22, 5'4 and 216.6 pounds. Every time I lose a pound, I gain 3 back. I'm eating 1, 000 calories, because that's the only way I can even lose an ounce. I work out sporratically but I just can't seem to find the motivation to get up and do it. The past 24 days I've lost 6 pounds, gained 3. I'm being so good. I cut out soda, I count in a treat into my calories so I don't cheat ...

Nothing. My jeans and bra are still getting tighter, and my friends are all skinnier and losing weight. I picked up an xxl skirt, and my friend was afraid it would be too small for me. I used to fit into a size extra small.

Oct 9th is my birthday and my dad is going to see me for the first time since I gained the weight. I wanted to be at least 170 before he came but there's no way that's going to happen. I'd settle for 200. But even that seems unreachable.

I'm getting so depressed I spend most of my time crying. But I stick to the diet. I go for walks, play wii Tennis and just dance, because I can barely leave the house I feel so disgusting. My boyfriend wants to leave me because I'm so depressed and I'm just picking at salads with nothing to show for it.

What can I do? I don't want to give up, but every time I eat, it feels like a failure. I'm still gaining weight while trying so hard. I just can't take it any more, some one help.
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Replies

  • jal92475
    jal92475 Posts: 53 Member
    You may need medical assistance if everything you are saying is accurate but the suggestions I most frequently see are the following:

    If you do not have a scale and do not weigh "everything", make sure you do so. You may be eating more than you think.

    If you are not using a HRM, you may be overestimating your calorie burns. 1000 calories is very low for someone of your weight to be eating. My SW was 211, CW 197 and GW 144 so we have a similar starting point.

    You might want to open your diary so people can look and make suggestions.
  • vismal
    vismal Posts: 2,463 Member
    Agree that you need to open your diary. One of two things is happening. You are either eating much more then you think you are by not tracking accurately (a very very very very common occurrence), or you have some kind of metabolic disease that makes you not lose weight on a level of calories that would make most other people your height and weight lose. My advice would be open your diary, and have a doctor run a panel of blood work to check for metabolic diseases.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    Agree that you need to open your diary. One of two things is happening. You are either eating much more then you think you are by not tracking accurately (a very very very very common occurrence), or you have some kind of metabolic disease that makes you not lose weight on a level of calories that would make most other people your height and weight lose. My advice would be open your diary, and have a doctor run a panel of blood work to check for metabolic diseases.

    What he said. You should definitely be losing on 1000 (though that's not a great number to be eating). I weigh 202 and I'm losing on ~1600-1800 a day.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    If you are not being 100% consistent with your food logging, you have no way of knowing if you are actually eating 1,000, or 1,200 or 15,000,000 calories a day. No way at all.


    1. Set a REASONABLE goal for yourself. 1,200 cals might be enough for a small person under 5 feet who is bedridden, but certainly not anywhere near enough for a 216lb woman of average height (I'm assuming your're average) Find your TDEE and eat 20% fewer calories than that number.

    2. Buy a kitchen scale, preferably digital. Use it for EVERY. LAST. CRUMB. of food that goes into your mouth.

    3. Log every last one of those crumbs into your diary consistently, for at least two months.

    If you stick to this, you'll HAVE to lose weight. Your body must obey the laws of science and thermogenics. If you eat fewer cals than you are expending, your body will have no choice but to let go of your fat.

    If you do all this and you still do not lose weight, you may have a medical condition affecting your thyroid. See a doctor if all else fails.
  • uponwishingstars1
    uponwishingstars1 Posts: 11 Member
    I don't know how to open my diary? Also, I don't weigh my food, I measure by cups and tablespoons. I'm doing exactly what worked the first time.
  • funchords
    funchords Posts: 413 Member
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/diary_settings

    Go to the bottom under Diary Sharing

    Set it to Public

    Click Save Changes
  • uponwishingstars1
    uponwishingstars1 Posts: 11 Member
    Thank you, I've opened it.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    I don't know how to open my diary? Also, I don't weigh my food, I measure by cups and tablespoons. I'm doing exactly what worked the first time.

    A food scale is going to be way more accurate than cups.

    Going through your diary I notice you don't have the past two Sundays logged? Do you use those as cheat days? You still need to log EVERYTHING, because those could be negating your deficit altogether if you don't count on those days.
  • lemonsnowdrop
    lemonsnowdrop Posts: 1,298 Member
    Meals like Friday, when you had spaghetti, would be much less accurate with just measuring cups. Pasta and cheese are better measured with a scale. Also, did you not use any ground beef for the spaghetti? No butter? 350 calories seems so low for a dinner like that.
  • EmmaOnTrack
    EmmaOnTrack Posts: 425 Member
    I don't have any advice to add to what's already been (and will be) said, but your story made me just want to reach through the screen and give you a massive hug...and I'm not even a huggy person!

    I can only imagine your frustration. It sounds like you've been working so hard, trying to do everything right and staying focussed so to not see results must be soul-destroying (I'm experiencing similar at the moment but not to the same extent).

    Somehow you (and me, and loads of us) need to stop defining ourselves by the numbers we see on the scale and letting that dictate how we feel about ourselves. Much harder said than done of course but I guess I just wanted you to know you're not alone. :flowerforyou:
  • vismal
    vismal Posts: 2,463 Member
    I don't know how to open my diary? Also, I don't weigh my food, I measure by cups and tablespoons. I'm doing exactly what worked the first time.
    If you gained everything back, it didn't exactly work the first time. Measuring cups and tablespoons are meant for liquids ONLY. I used to use a tablespoon to measure peanut butter. It has 200 calories for 2 tbsp. When I started weighing peanut butter on a scale I realized that my 2 tablespoons were actually 3. This is a 100 calorie overage. I ate peanut butter roughly every day. That's 700 calories a week, or about an entire lb of fat not lost per month. And that was JUST ONE FOOD.

    Looking at your diary, your food choices aren't the best. I know calories in vs calories out is always going to determine weight loss, but you barely eat any protein, and many of your choices are not foods rich in micro nutrients. If you are truly eating only what is in your diary, then again I urge you to see a doctor because the ONLY explanation is major metabolic dysfunction. On the other hand, there is the chance that you binge on days you don't log, or don't log 100% of what goes into your mouth. I'm not saying this is the case, but the possible things going on are limited. If you believe in thermodynamics then you either have to be eating more then your logging indicates, or you metabolism is so severely impacted by some kind of medical condition that your maintenance is around 1000 calories per day. This would be a very severe metabolic condition.
  • pander101
    pander101 Posts: 677 Member
    You need a food scale. Especially for solid foods. No reason you shouldn't be losing weight. Weight loss is a calorie deficit, so if you're not losing weight you are eating more calories than you think. Weigh your food. Measuring cups are not accurate for solid foods at all.
  • funchords
    funchords Posts: 413 Member
    If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. So when someone suggests a change, see if you can put it on a list of things to try.

    Here's my suggestion:

    Stop trying to be xxxx lbs.

    Instead, say I'm going to do this for 26 weeks.

    What's that?

    1. Log accurately everything that you eat. Every condiment. Everything. If you get pristine about nothing else, get pristine about logging. If you don't know where you are, there is no map to get you where you are going. Review your logs daily and weekly and use them to help you make changes.

    2. Walk 3x a week for 30 minutes -- someplace nice. Make this walk a treat. Don't just go around your same old block. Go downtown. Go to the waterfront. Go hike an easy trail. It seems silly to drive 5 miles just to walk 1.5 miles, but it's not silly -- it's its own reward. It will help you look forward to the walk.

    3. Weigh and measure once in a while and keep up your tracking stats, but don't worry about it.

    Now this assumes everything is already set up right. MFP knows you want to be 170 and lose 2 lbs a week. If not go http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/change_goals_guided and set those up. It should take you 26 weeks to be around your goal, but it won't be a straight line -- and remember, your goal is the 26 weeks of #1 through #3 above. We're going to focus on getting good information about your diet and keeping you moving in a rewarding way. These are things we can control. We're not going to worry about what the scale says tomorrow, that is out of our control.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    You still need to log EVERYTHING, because those could be negating your deficit altogether if you don't count on those days.

    This is very true.

    OP, later, as you get closer to your goal you might want to incorporate the off cheat meal, just to reset cravings and give yourself a little reward for doing so well, but for right now I would not recommend them. Certainly not as frequently as EVERY Sunday, if that is indeed the case.

    It sounds like you struggle with rebounding quite a bit. (Lose some, rejoice, go back to old eating habits, gain it all back, repeat.) So I do not recommend you kicking back or cutting loose without logging, since clearly you struggle with moderation.

    Now is the time to get a hold of your habits, learn self control, get used to what a moderate and healthy diet feels like. Once you have that down and you feel totally comfortable, then it might be more prudent to introduce the odd cheat MEAL, never a full day of free-for-all. That's the fastest way to derail all your progress. Very few people realize just how quickly a full day of unlogged calories adds up, and it can blow an entire week's worth of deficit, or more.

    If you feel you can't get a firm grip on your relationship with food, there is no shame in seeking help from a counselor. You may even uncover some underlying stressor or mental roadblock that you didn't even know you had, that was causing an unsatisfying relationship between you and your food. Just a thought.
  • uponwishingstars1
    uponwishingstars1 Posts: 11 Member
    Meals like Friday, when you had spaghetti, would be much less accurate with just measuring cups. Pasta and cheese are better measured with a scale. Also, did you not use any ground beef for the spaghetti? No butter? 350 calories seems so low for a dinner like that.
    I do have a scale which I sometimes use when I don't think the cups will be accurate. I use it for noodles specifically. It's a crappy little $5 one. All I did was make the noodles, mix in the sauce, added the cheese, and then baked it. Baking it added more flavor.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    Meals like Friday, when you had spaghetti, would be much less accurate with just measuring cups. Pasta and cheese are better measured with a scale. Also, did you not use any ground beef for the spaghetti? No butter? 350 calories seems so low for a dinner like that.
    I do have a scale which I sometimes use when I don't think the cups will be accurate. I use it for noodles specifically. It's a crappy little $5 one. All I did was make the noodles, mix in the sauce, added the cheese, and then baked it. Baking it added more flavor.

    Baking is fine.

    Did you measure the sauce with a measuring cup? Did you weigh the cheese? Start making things like that second nature, and it will be much easier to see the trend of your eating, and make adjustments as needed.
  • uponwishingstars1
    uponwishingstars1 Posts: 11 Member
    I don't know how to open my diary? Also, I don't weigh my food, I measure by cups and tablespoons. I'm doing exactly what worked the first time.
    If you gained everything back, it didn't exactly work the first time. Measuring cups and tablespoons are meant for liquids ONLY. I used to use a tablespoon to measure peanut butter. It has 200 calories for 2 tbsp. When I started weighing peanut butter on a scale I realized that my 2 tablespoons were actually 3. This is a 100 calorie overage. I ate peanut butter roughly every day. That's 700 calories a week, or about an entire lb of fat not lost per month. And that was JUST ONE FOOD.

    Looking at your diary, your food choices aren't the best. I know calories in vs calories out is always going to determine weight loss, but you barely eat any protein, and many of your choices are not foods rich in micro nutrients. If you are truly eating only what is in your diary, then again I urge you to see a doctor because the ONLY explanation is major metabolic dysfunction. On the other hand, there is the chance that you binge on days you don't log, or don't log 100% of what goes into your mouth. I'm not saying this is the case, but the possible things going on are limited. If you believe in thermodynamics then you either have to be eating more then your logging indicates, or you metabolism is so severely impacted by some kind of medical condition that your maintenance is around 1000 calories per day. This would be a very severe metabolic condition.

    I am truly telling you the truth. Yes.
  • squirrelzzrule22
    squirrelzzrule22 Posts: 640 Member
    You're young, do you drink alcohol? That really messed up my calories when I was your age.

    On that little food, you would lose weight unless you have a VERY strong metabolic issue. Just be sure you are being 100% honest with yourself and your logging. From my own personal experience I know that being depressed about my weight can lead to secret binging, and that ruins a diet even when you're careful 80% of the time.
  • Shastabaldi
    Shastabaldi Posts: 36 Member
    You need to eat more. Exercise more. And cut carbs. Eat more fat. bam, you'll lose it.
  • uponwishingstars1
    uponwishingstars1 Posts: 11 Member
    For the first Sunday, there was a barbecue that was being held all day for me and a group of friends. There wasn't a way to count anything. I used the smallest paper plate there and ate sparcely. The second Sunday was my boyfriend and I going out to try to save our relationship.
  • daybehavior
    daybehavior Posts: 1,319 Member
    You need to eat more. Exercise more. And cut carbs. Eat more fat. bam, you'll lose it.

    Please explain how eating more would help her lose weight. Especially if she doesn't even know exactly how many calories she is eating to begin with.
  • smileygael
    smileygael Posts: 1
    You have gotten great advice from all the posts here. I will add to the "see a doc". You may need ur thyroid checked along with a full blood panel. You may need to see a specialist like an Endocrinologist (sp?).
    Sounds like what u do should be working, but you don't know if there may now be an underlying medical issue that needs addressed. :)
  • uponwishingstars1
    uponwishingstars1 Posts: 11 Member
    You're young, do you drink alcohol? That really messed up my calories when I was your age.

    On that little food, you would lose weight unless you have a VERY strong metabolic issue. Just be sure you are being 100% honest with yourself and your logging. From my own personal experience I know that being depressed about my weight can lead to secret binging, and that ruins a diet even when you're careful 80% of the time.

    I. Am. Being. Honest. The only times something went in my mouth when I didn't count it and measure it strictly [I make sure to use a knife and scrape anything extra off the top off the cup] were the two Sundays I told you about.

    I don't drink. On a regular basis the only liquid I consume is water and non - fat milk.

    I do do marijuana recreationally. It's legal in my state. I strictly don't eat while doing it.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    For the first Sunday, there was a barbecue that was being held all day for me and a group of friends. There wasn't a way to count anything. I used the smallest paper plate there and ate sparcely. The second Sunday was my boyfriend and I going out to try to save our relationship.

    Let me see if I get this straight...


    Your boyfriend and you are on the relationship rocks because of your weight (as stated in your OP).

    So you go out to eat...to save the relationship?


    Do you see the disconnect in logic, here?

    And even if you are at functions involving food, you can always log similar foods in the database. It may not be accurate, but at least you'll have some sort of baseline. Same goes for going out to eat. You could have chosen a chain restaurant that has nutrition info available. My point is: you always have options. Always.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member

    I. Am. Being. Honest.

    If you are not WEIGHING your food, then no. You are not. You are not logging honest and accurate portions. A cup of chicken is going to vary VASTLY from 6 oz of chicken.

    No need to get defensive, just start weighing your food portions. It's not all that hard.
  • squirrelzzrule22
    squirrelzzrule22 Posts: 640 Member
    You're young, do you drink alcohol? That really messed up my calories when I was your age.

    On that little food, you would lose weight unless you have a VERY strong metabolic issue. Just be sure you are being 100% honest with yourself and your logging. From my own personal experience I know that being depressed about my weight can lead to secret binging, and that ruins a diet even when you're careful 80% of the time.

    I. Am. Being. Honest. The only times something went in my mouth when I didn't count it and measure it strictly [I make sure to use a knife and scrape anything extra off the top off the cup] were the two Sundays I told you about.

    I don't drink. On a regular basis the only liquid I consume is water and non - fat milk.

    I do do marijuana recreationally. It's legal in my state. I strictly don't eat while doing it.

    Well then you have your answer. There must be something medically wrong. Don't be scared, metabolic issues are treatable, but if you're telling the truth you won't get anything more out of this thread. See a doctor and maybe a dietician. We've basically all told you the same thing. Good luck.
  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,271 MFP Moderator
    I would absolutely be starving on your diet. There are no fruits or veggies in there, but I saw lots of sausages and some starbucks. One of the reasons that so many people eat LOTS of salads and veggies when they are on a restricted calorie diet is because you can eat a LOT of them for the same amount of calories as what is in a sausage, so you are more satisfied. No WAY could I eat a diet of mostly processed foods and stay at 1000 calories per day. Or even 1500 calories per day. You need more fruits and veggies, more lean meats, less processed foods. Also, saw some quick-adds in your diary and a whole day not logged. If you're quick adding calories and NOT weighing and accurately measuring your foods, you're eating more than you think you are. AND if it were me eating your diet, I'd be sneaking things here and there out of sheer desire to chew foods, and actually have something in my stomach to digest.

    Now, I'm a 35 year old 5'4" woman, and not too terribly active. I weigh 130 pounds and MAINTAIN on (an average of) 1700 calories each day. I'd be starving and wasting away on 1000 calories. YOUR BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate - what your body needs to sustain essential functions, like heart-beat, breathing, etch) is over 1700. Eating less than your BMR over extended periods can do harm to your body.

    http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/
  • meridianova
    meridianova Posts: 438 Member
    Meals like Friday, when you had spaghetti, would be much less accurate with just measuring cups. Pasta and cheese are better measured with a scale. Also, did you not use any ground beef for the spaghetti? No butter? 350 calories seems so low for a dinner like that.
    I do have a scale which I sometimes use when I don't think the cups will be accurate. I use it for noodles specifically. It's a crappy little $5 one. All I did was make the noodles, mix in the sauce, added the cheese, and then baked it. Baking it added more flavor.

    go onto amazon and look for kitchen scales. i think i paid about $15 for mine, it's digital, and weighs in grams, ounces, and pounds/ounces.

    i had the same problem you seem to be, where i was using volume measures for dry ingredients, or for things that don't measure very well like broccoli florets or sliced mushrooms. i keep the scale by my other daily-use kitchen implements (mixing stuff, knives, cutting boards, seasoning stuff), and i also have a magnetic shopping list pad of paper and pen attached to the fridge on the other side of the stove. when i'm cooking, i weigh/measure ALL the ingredients and create a recipe with that day's date on MFP. so my diary says things like "chickbrockmush 9.15.14" because dinner was a chicken/broccoli/mushroom casserole that has no prescribed recipe, other than what i want it to be that night. i divide by portions and log accordingly.

    once i started doing that, things got easier.
    For the first Sunday, there was a barbecue that was being held all day for me and a group of friends. There wasn't a way to count anything. I used the smallest paper plate there and ate sparcely.
    the only way you wouldn't be able to count your food is if you were blindfolded, and someone else took a plate of food, threw it in a blender, and force-fed it to you through a straw. if you know what foods you took (hamburger with bun, mustard, ketchup, lettuce, tomato slice, etc) then you can count them. MFP has a smartphone app that lets you log food on the fly if you need to. and worst case scenario, take a picture of your food and then log it when you get home.
    The second Sunday was my boyfriend and I going out to try to save our relationship.
    if you went out, especially to a national chain restaurant, then you can look up the food you ate. somewhere, somehow, someone will have documented the nutritional info, whether that's from the restaurant's website or from someone who logged it into another food database. you can then log the food you ate, even if you have to estimate a little bit if you either didn't finish everything or you customized the order a little. worst case scenario, you can get close by using another restaurant's version of the same meal. there isn't going to be much variation between caesar salads, hamburgers, steaks, or grilled chicken breast sandwiches.
  • pander101
    pander101 Posts: 677 Member
    Unless you rule out a medical condition, the amount of calories you are eating is not accurate. Simple as that. You don't want to admit it but that's what it is. Again, calories in vs. calories out. Weigh your food, ditch the measuring cups. If you don't believe it, try it just for kicks because you got nothing to lose.
  • uponwishingstars1
    uponwishingstars1 Posts: 11 Member
    We went out. We did things all day. We ended up eating. I still kept my portions small, but no. I didn't count. Yes, I already felt incredibly guilty about eating out and having fun. Thank you for bringing that up. However, when you're trying to get your mind off of the thing that's making you depressed, I.e. my weight, what makes you think we want to spend the day thinking about that? Desperately counting things that could be like what I'm eating, instead of relaxing and trying to get into a better mindset?

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