I'm at my wits end.
Replies
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To the OP, I feel a little sorry for you with all this advice you're getting -- stop this, cut that, measure differently.
Nobody here disbelieves you, they disbelieve your data. They are saying that your method has a problem and they are suggesting fixes. They want you to succeed.
This is a place of change. You have created years of momentum -- a lot of small habits, many of which that you will break during this process. But you won't break them all in one day.
Re-read this whole topic and pick the 2-3 things that sound easily doable. Do those 2-3 things for the next 30 days. Try hard. If you make a mistake or forget, then just try the next day. Habit change is what you're after and you don't do that all at once, you do that a little at a time.0 -
Stop trying to be xxxx lbs.
Instead, say I'm going to do this for 26 weeks.
This is pure genius! You must be the smartest person alive!0 -
OP - I hope you are still reading this. You sound miserable and I don't blame you. Perhaps the best way forward is one you can sustain for life? Decide how you want to live/eat for the rest of your life, and let me tell you it doesn't have to be skinny=happiness or skinny=1000-1200 calories for the rest of your life, or even for the foreseeable future.
Read some more on what your body needs to be healthy - there is more to nutrition and being strong, fit, and happy than calorie restriction. I like what one of the above posters mentioned about deciding on non-weightloss related goals such as
-tracking daily and as accurately as possible
-finding an activity you enjoy and doing it 3-5 times per week
-planning meals that are balanced nutritionally (get some lean protein, include 2-3 veggies/day, one or two peices of fruit, and some healthy fats, hell throw in a treat or two that you measure/weigh and track)
-give yourself permission to nuture your body and your mind with food and enjoyable exercise
-commit to this for 3 months - perhaps leave the body weight scale alone while you create daily habits that will bring you nourishment, strength and energy.
My best guess for your struggles is that you restrict, get frustrated, then binge and gain. You have rapidly lost and put on weight in the last few years which suggests that you've been cycling through calorie restriction and then over-indulgence. That can be crazy-making but it can also really screw up your metabolism. I just finished reading a book called The Diet Fix: Why Diets Fail and How to Make Yours Work by Yoni Freedhoff M.D. It was really good and helped me let go of the pressure to lose weight and just focus on daily habits that I could build my healthy goals around. The weight may come off more slowly, but I'm learning the habits I need to keep it off for good this time. Just sharing what has worked for me. Since implementing my new daily habits for the past 117 days I've lost 21 pounds - no starving, no restriction, eating foods I enjoy in moderation, and generally feeling more energetic and confident with each day that move towards my goal of tracking my food, getting some exercise, and feeling good about my goals. I am 5'4", my starting weight was 211 and I'm down to 190. I figure by the time I get to 365 days of tracking and eating under my TDEE more days than not, I'll be able to lose another 25-35 pounds by next spring. And I've been eating between 1600 - 2000 calories per day (averages out to about 1800/per, but lately been able to get down to 1600 and 1700 on average.
Be good to yourself.0 -
OP - I hope you are still reading this. You sound miserable and I don't blame you. Perhaps the best way forward is one you can sustain for life? Decide how you want to live/eat for the rest of your life, and let me tell you it doesn't have to be skinny=happiness or skinny=1000-1200 calories for the rest of your life, or even for the foreseeable future.
Read some more on what your body needs to be healthy - there is more to nutrition and being strong, fit, and happy than calorie restriction. I like what one of the above posters mentioned about deciding on non-weightloss related goals such as
-tracking daily and as accurately as possible
-finding an activity you enjoy and doing it 3-5 times per week
-planning meals that are balanced nutritionally (get some lean protein, include 2-3 veggies/day, one or two peices of fruit, and some healthy fats, hell throw in a treat or two that you measure/weigh and track)
-give yourself permission to nuture your body and your mind with food and enjoyable exercise
-commit to this for 3 months - perhaps leave the body weight scale alone while you create daily habits that will bring you nourishment, strength and energy.
My best guess for your struggles is that you restrict, get frustrated, then binge and gain. You have rapidly lost and put on weight in the last few years which suggests that you've been cycling through calorie restriction and then over-indulgence. That can be crazy-making but it can also really screw up your metabolism. I just finished reading a book called The Diet Fix: Why Diets Fail and How to Make Yours Work by Yoni Freedhoff M.D. It was really good and helped me let go of the pressure to lose weight and just focus on daily habits that I could build my healthy goals around. The weight may come off more slowly, but I'm learning the habits I need to keep it off for good this time. Just sharing what has worked for me. Since implementing my new daily habits for the past 117 days I've lost 21 pounds - no starving, no restriction, eating foods I enjoy in moderation, and generally feeling more energetic and confident with each day that move towards my goal of tracking my food, getting some exercise, and feeling good about my goals. I am 5'4", my starting weight was 211 and I'm down to 190. I figure by the time I get to 365 days of tracking and eating under my TDEE more days than not, I'll be able to lose another 25-35 pounds by next spring. And I've been eating between 1600 - 2000 calories per day (averages out to about 1800/per, but lately been able to get down to 1600 and 1700 on average.
Be good to yourself.
Great post.0 -
...I still kept my portions small, but no. I didn't count. Yes, I already felt incredibly guilty about eating out and having fun.... Desperately counting things that could be like what I'm eating, instead of relaxing and trying to get into a better mindset?
You might want to read Dr. Yoni Freedhoff's recent book _The Diet Fix_. It's one of the three best books on diet that I have ever read.
He emphasizes that thinking of "dieting" and weight loss in terms of guilt is counterproductive. You should think of your food diary as a tool. Write down what you eat. Don't feel bad about ~writing it down~, because all you're doing is recording what you have done, as a tool to review later. You don't even necessarily need to write down quantities, if you're not ready for that. Just write everything you eat. It's OK to relax when doing that, just get the data.
Freedhoff's "10-day reset" is a bit gimmicky, but only because he says you should do it in 10 consecutive days. Otherwise, it's a very useful book, especially because it turns the emphasis away from guilt and shame. One of my two other favorite diet books, John Walker's _The Hacker's Diet_, also emphasizes problem-solving, not guilt. (#3, Richard Watson's _The Philosopher's Diet_, is not really about dieting at all; people who criticize his diet advice are missing the point.)0 -
Hi,
You mentioned you are depressed. The implication is as a result of your weight problem. But are you on any kind of medication for that? SSRI's can make you put on/make it harder to lose weight and I've heard anti-psychotics are even worse.
Before anyone suggests it I'm not advocating not taking medication, just suggesting it might be an issue.0 -
Go to the doctor and see if you do not have a more serious metabolism problem, as your weight gain and loss roller coaster honestly does not sound normal at all. Also, I would eat more than 1,000 calories. That is a sure way to tell your body to hold onto all the fat it has, as it thinks you do not have access to food.
As for the depression....not sure if you could shake that one without some -serious- self-reflection. You are NOT your weight or your body. Because you wear XXL clothing now does not mean you are not worthy of love and respect. This shift in perspective is a personal choice, and it is difficult especially if you have lived your life being one body type and now find yourself in another. However, trust me, self acceptance lasts a lifetime once achieved and will greatly increase the quality of your life.
Good luck.0 -
You need to eat more. Exercise more. And cut carbs. Eat more fat. bam, you'll lose it.
Please explain how eating more would help her lose weight. Especially if she doesn't even know exactly how many calories she is eating to begin with.
You have to eat more to lose more! Everybody knows this. Look it up. It's on the internet! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
YES! I am surprised more people are not telling the OP to go to a doctor. OP - you really really really should go to a doctor and tell them about the issues you have been having with your weight the past few years.
(this was supposed to be a reply to a previous post, not sure how to put the quote in and not sure how to delete this entry....)0 -
I love this. Good advice from someone so young!Go to the doctor and see if you do not have a more serious metabolism problem, as your weight gain and loss roller coaster honestly does not sound normal at all. Also, I would eat more than 1,000 calories. That is a sure way to tell your body to hold onto all the fat it has, as it thinks you do not have access to food.
As for the depression....not sure if you could shake that one without some -serious- self-reflection. You are NOT your weight or your body. Because you wear XXL clothing now does not mean you are not worthy of love and respect. This shift in perspective is a personal choice, and it is difficult especially if you have lived your life being one body type and now find yourself in another. However, trust me, self acceptance lasts a lifetime once achieved and will greatly increase the quality of your life.
Good luck.
Usually, I read young people's posts and think, "In twenty years, she's going to feel like an idiot for saying things like this."
In 20 years, you're going to be...I don't even know how awesome.
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I don't know how to open my diary? Also, I don't weigh my food, I measure by cups and tablespoons. I'm doing exactly what worked the first time.
That is your problem. Cups and tablespoons will NOT measure accurately. Ever.
You have to weigh it or your are going to be over ...every day.0 -
Go see your doctor. It's not a wacky, new exciting idea, but it's the smart way to begin any weight loss journey.
If your at your wits' end and you've tried all the fitness gurus online, give doing the thing every expert advises you to do first a chance.
Or keep trying things that aren't decided based on you specifically by people who aren't qualified to help you.
Up to you! Good luck with whatever you do.
The problem with this is that I don't have a family doctor, I don't know who to see, and I haven't really got any money. One of the reasons I eat so much "bad" food is that it's cheaper.
I understand completely.
I have struggled with my weight for 18 years (since I was 12) and the death of my dad.
In the last 16 months, I have lost my job, lost my home, had to move home to take care of my mother and brother, both of whom have become disabled in the past year.
And on top of that, my home was destroyed by a tornado.
I'll be honest, I haven't looked at your diary, but your subject line caught my eye.
Yes, if you go into a store and buy things from a shelf, many times the things that are bad for you are cheaper.
HOWEVER, if you scan the newspapers, salespapers, internet, etc., collect coupons and use all of these sales and coupons together, it can save you hundreds of dollars EVERY SINGLE WEEK.
If you find yourself short on time, which is one of my biggest problems, you can catch the bags of fresh-frozen vegetables that you steam in the microwave on sale and make those for a quick, healthy meal. Just this morning, I purchased 100 different bags of vegetables with each bag having about 4 servings, that's 400 servings of vegetables for less than 15 dollars.
Just by eating at least 2 vegetables and 1 protein at every meal and making sure that I eat the vegetables first, it fills me up a lot faster than just eating in a random pattern. I try to aim for at least 6 servings of vegetables minimum a day (focusing mostly on greens) with at least 12-18 protein servings day. Protein is expensive, so I usually buy liquid egg whites in bulk from Costco (I'm allergic to the yolk so I have to pay a little more). If I still feel hungry after eating that much, then I have a small carb or fruit (no more than 150 calories).
I have been doing this for 6 weeks at the suggestion of my therapist. Since starting this, yes, I've lost 24 pounds, but the biggest thing for me is that I have been able to come off of anti-depressants. And I have have both metabolic syndrome x and hypothyroidism.
I understand that the numbers on a scale are what you are aiming for, but the truth is, you need to aim for happiness. If you are always trying to please someone else, you'll never be happy with yourself. It took me 18 years to learn this.
Bad things happen to good people, and we can't control the universe. But the one thing you CAN control is how you choose to look at those bad things and your reaction to them. Try to find the tiniest positive, because somewhere there IS one, you just have to look for it.0 -
One more thing, you may want to make sure you're not overdoing your sodium intake. Large amounts of sodium can make you retain water. Drink lots of water to help flush your system. It not only fills you up, but makes your skin look gorgeous too
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Thank you everyone for your help. I bumped my calories to 1200, and tried to eat on a more rigorous schedule. I pushed my dinner to later in the day. I'm still using measuring cups, because I can't afford a food scale. But, I've been using the measuring cups coupled with the small, cheap, food scale I already had. So far, there's only been one item that I was measuring incorrectly. Which was the boneless chicken breasts I have. I have tried drinking more water, but haven't changed what I eat. This is because I can't make a grocery store trip atm, due to low funds.
When I posted the topic, I was 216.6. Today I weighed in at 212.6.0 -
When I posted the topic, I was 216.6. Today I weighed in at 212.6.
Great progress - well done!0
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