Strong reaction to public humiliation = Over sensitive
Replies
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it sucks but Marines are just like that... its trained into them... believe me my husband is an active duty marine for 10 years n going.... he says things about weight/food and such that a normal person wouldn't. They r taught and trained to be better than everyone... keep your head high. and good for you for telling him off.
I'm a Marine and I'm not like that. Thanks for lumping us all into one category.0 -
They do have the best uniforms. Mmmm, I could look at them all day.
My ex wore his dress blues pretty much every day. The only thing better than a man in Marine Corps dress blues is a man in any kind of cammo.
My fiance is a Navy Reservist and their "everyday" uniform now is cammo -- BDs? I can't ever remember -- and it's H.O.T.
The blue Navy fatigues will make me rubberneck more than just about anything.0 -
it sucks but Marines are just like that... its trained into them... believe me my husband is an active duty marine for 10 years n going.... he says things about weight/food and such that a normal person wouldn't. They r taught and trained to be better than everyone... keep your head high. and good for you for telling him off.
They are taught and trained to "be" better than everyone, or "think" they are better than everyone? I almost became one after college but I went into the safety of the corporate world where I proceeded to break my back there instead. I have a funny feeling no "training" in the world could have made me any more of a douche than I already am. I also think that some people who are already not douchey like another member here usmcp could never be turned into one.
Just wondering. I'm pretty sure some army people I know and some other branches would contest whether marine trainingn makes you actually better than everyone or just beleive it to be so.
Also lest this thread get derailed into being about Marines and how much douchey they may be and why I'd like to return to the topic of my fireman...
He. Was. Fine! and may have been a former marine for all I know. He was co.cky as all get out and enormously confident as well.
:bigsmile:
(I mean if the thread is gonna derail anyway, I'd like to see it go in this direction.)
Sweet Jesus. Someone set my house on fire!
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I can't seem to talk him into wearing them every day ...They do have the best uniforms. Mmmm, I could look at them all day.
My ex wore his dress blues pretty much every day. The only thing better than a man in Marine Corps dress blues is a man in any kind of cammo.
My fiance is a Navy Reservist and their "everyday" uniform now is cammo -- BDs? I can't ever remember -- and it's H.O.T.
The blue Navy fatigues will make me rubberneck more than just about anything.
Or to bed.0 -
He was being nosy and it's really none of his business, but in my opinion, yes you were being oversensitive.0
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3) why you didn't thank him for his service to our country AND your right to even have a choice of what to eat, much less brand of chocolate?
I'm all for supporting the troops but this is a VERY big stretch.0 -
I absolutely adore that you were able to come up with something to say back to him. Priceless.
He was very rude, and his comment was inexcusable.
And everyone who serves, thank you.0 -
I have 2 thoughts:
1. I've also noticed, as most of us have, that when someone sees a fat person buying something like donuts, chocolate, etc., then their mind immediately goes to "they have no self control." This doesn't happen when they see a thin person buying sweets.
2. He may have been genuinely trying to help. Sure, you didn't see it that way, but he suggested a way you can not only eat chocolate, but also save some calories while doing so. If you are trying to lose weight (and you are), that is helpful advice. You didn't like that a stranger gave you unsolicited advice... I get that, though some of us would actually use that information to help us regardless of the source (of course I would also fact check it to be sure).
Really? So say I run into you in a grocery store, and I see that your cart is filled with junk food so I say to you, "hey, you know if you ate less junk food you could probably lose some weight." you're telling me you would say "wow, thanks for the helpful advice!"
No. No you wouldn't. Nobody would.0 -
I don't think you were being oversensitive... and if he was "trying to help" he sure wasn't trying very hard. I've been known to offer some unsolicited advice to total strangers myself, but it's always in a positive way... a lady looking over an Ikea bed that I have and I love; I'll butt in and tell her I have it at home and I think it's great and it was easy to put together. I'm pretty sure she won't run away crying. I wouldn't say anything of a personally critical nature to someone I don't even know; it boggles my mind that anyone would think that was acceptable.0
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Oh give the guy a break! He's just using the personality the marines gave him
Thank you for classifying all Marines as rude. How about we turn it around and say he's just using the personality that his male chromosomes gave him? You would call it sexist and say not all men are rude. Making blanket statements like that makes you look ignorant.
Sincerely,
A United States Marine
QFT and thank you for your service usmcmp
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Well done OP; nothing more attractive than strength in a woman. I applaud you0
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You were not being oversensitive. Since he decided to make it his business, you get to respond accordingly. I quite frankly think it was WAY out of line for him to make that comment. And I commend you for not flipping him off or saying something rude (which is what I would have done). All you did was provide him a bit more information on the situation he was all too eager to comment on. I can only hope to remember to keep calm and respond intelligently as you did.
Way to go! :flowerforyou:0 -
So many replies here....I can't resist though! Your response was so great. Just....so great. Myself.....I am terrible with stressful situations and usually resort to incoherent ranting when under pressure like what you experienced. And I have always, always, always been accused of being "oversensitive'. It took a long time for me to stop thinking that being sensitive to feelings was a BAD thing and going beyond that to realize that people who walk around accusing others of over sensitivity tend to be incredibly INSENSITIVE people who are lonely and hide their insecurity behind rude, brash behavior.
I applaud your efforts and your success thus far in your fitness journey. I love that you were able to articulate yourself to this young man who really needed to hear this type of response.
Perhaps, under that prickly exterior, he heard what you were saying and was EMBARRASSED inside for being called out on his bad behavior.0 -
I have 2 thoughts:
1. I've also noticed, as most of us have, that when someone sees a fat person buying something like donuts, chocolate, etc., then their mind immediately goes to "they have no self control." This doesn't happen when they see a thin person buying sweets.
2. He may have been genuinely trying to help. Sure, you didn't see it that way, but he suggested a way you can not only eat chocolate, but also save some calories while doing so. If you are trying to lose weight (and you are), that is helpful advice. You didn't like that a stranger gave you unsolicited advice... I get that, though some of us would actually use that information to help us regardless of the source (of course I would also fact check it to be sure).
Really? So say I run into you in a grocery store, and I see that your cart is filled with junk food so I say to you, "hey, you know if you ate less junk food you could probably lose some weight." you're telling me you would say "wow, thanks for the helpful advice!"
No. No you wouldn't. Nobody would.
Not something generic like that that I already know. But if you came up to me when I was buying yogurt and said, "Hey, you can get more protein by eating greek yogurt." I would say "thank you" and then check into it and perhaps even take the advice. That has actually happened. There is a difference between generic advice like "eat less junk food" and specific information like "this particular brand of chocolate has fewer calories."0 -
Maybe he meant that there's fewer calories so you could eat more?
Or was trying to flirt?
Still a jerk move though. Didn't think it through.0 -
Damn. You are a hero. What a polite response to a rude-*kitten* comment.0
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I have 2 thoughts:
1. I've also noticed, as most of us have, that when someone sees a fat person buying something like donuts, chocolate, etc., then their mind immediately goes to "they have no self control." This doesn't happen when they see a thin person buying sweets.
2. He may have been genuinely trying to help. Sure, you didn't see it that way, but he suggested a way you can not only eat chocolate, but also save some calories while doing so. If you are trying to lose weight (and you are), that is helpful advice. You didn't like that a stranger gave you unsolicited advice... I get that, though some of us would actually use that information to help us regardless of the source (of course I would also fact check it to be sure).
Really? So say I run into you in a grocery store, and I see that your cart is filled with junk food so I say to you, "hey, you know if you ate less junk food you could probably lose some weight." you're telling me you would say "wow, thanks for the helpful advice!"
No. No you wouldn't. Nobody would.
Not something generic like that that I already know. But if you came up to me when I was buying yogurt and said, "Hey, you can get more protein by eating greek yogurt." I would say "thank you" and then check into it and perhaps even take the advice. That has actually happened. There is a difference between generic advice like "eat less junk food" and specific information like "this particular brand of chocolate has fewer calories."
Oh God, it is you again. Now the toddler hater thinks rude comments are acceptable.0 -
2. He may have been genuinely trying to help. Sure, you didn't see it that way, but he suggested a way you can not only eat chocolate, but also save some calories while doing so. If you are trying to lose weight (and you are), that is helpful advice. You didn't like that a stranger gave you unsolicited advice... I get that, though some of us would actually use that information to help us regardless of the source (of course I would also fact check it to be sure).
I agree completely with this.0 -
it sucks but Marines are just like that... its trained into them... believe me my husband is an active duty marine for 10 years n going.... he says things about weight/food and such that a normal person wouldn't. They r taught and trained to be better than everyone... keep your head high. and good for you for telling him off.
They are taught and trained to "be" better than everyone, or "think" they are better than everyone? I almost became one after college but I went into the safety of the corporate world where I proceeded to break my back there instead. I have a funny feeling no "training" in the world could have made me any more of a douche than I already am. I also think that some people who are already not douchey like another member here usmcp could never be turned into one.
Just wondering. I'm pretty sure some army people I know and some other branches would contest whether marine trainingn makes you actually better than everyone or just beleive it to be so.
Also lest this thread get derailed into being about Marines and how much douchey they may be and why I'd like to return to the topic of my fireman...
He. Was. Fine! and may have been a former marine for all I know. He was co.cky as all get out and enormously confident as well.
:bigsmile:
(I mean if the thread is gonna derail anyway, I'd like to see it go in this direction.)
I knew I liked you MCD!0 -
Nice job. I don't know you but I'm proud of you!
+1 ????0 -
I have 2 thoughts:
1. I've also noticed, as most of us have, that when someone sees a fat person buying something like donuts, chocolate, etc., then their mind immediately goes to "they have no self control." This doesn't happen when they see a thin person buying sweets.
2. He may have been genuinely trying to help. Sure, you didn't see it that way, but he suggested a way you can not only eat chocolate, but also save some calories while doing so. If you are trying to lose weight (and you are), that is helpful advice. You didn't like that a stranger gave you unsolicited advice... I get that, though some of us would actually use that information to help us regardless of the source (of course I would also fact check it to be sure).
Really? So say I run into you in a grocery store, and I see that your cart is filled with junk food so I say to you, "hey, you know if you ate less junk food you could probably lose some weight." you're telling me you would say "wow, thanks for the helpful advice!"
No. No you wouldn't. Nobody would.
Not something generic like that that I already know. But if you came up to me when I was buying yogurt and said, "Hey, you can get more protein by eating greek yogurt." I would say "thank you" and then check into it and perhaps even take the advice. That has actually happened. There is a difference between generic advice like "eat less junk food" and specific information like "this particular brand of chocolate has fewer calories."
Oh God, it is you again. Now the toddler hater thinks rude comments are acceptable.
I don't know the back story to your comment, but toddlers DO suck.0 -
What kind did you get? Please tell me it's something GOOD
ETA: I kind of want chocolate now....
Ghirardelli sea salt soiree (dark chocolate with sea salt and roasted almonds) :]
OH MY LORD!!! I just realized I have an unfinished package of that somewhere in this house! Let the hunt begin!0 -
I have 2 thoughts:
1. I've also noticed, as most of us have, that when someone sees a fat person buying something like donuts, chocolate, etc., then their mind immediately goes to "they have no self control." This doesn't happen when they see a thin person buying sweets.
2. He may have been genuinely trying to help. Sure, you didn't see it that way, but he suggested a way you can not only eat chocolate, but also save some calories while doing so. If you are trying to lose weight (and you are), that is helpful advice. You didn't like that a stranger gave you unsolicited advice... I get that, though some of us would actually use that information to help us regardless of the source (of course I would also fact check it to be sure).
Really? So say I run into you in a grocery store, and I see that your cart is filled with junk food so I say to you, "hey, you know if you ate less junk food you could probably lose some weight." you're telling me you would say "wow, thanks for the helpful advice!"
No. No you wouldn't. Nobody would.
Not something generic like that that I already know. But if you came up to me when I was buying yogurt and said, "Hey, you can get more protein by eating greek yogurt." I would say "thank you" and then check into it and perhaps even take the advice. That has actually happened. There is a difference between generic advice like "eat less junk food" and specific information like "this particular brand of chocolate has fewer calories."
If a man came up to me while I was buying yogurt at the groceries and suggested a way for me to get more protein....
...I'd slap him.0 -
You worded that perfectly!0
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GOOOOD FOR YOU!
He is a psycho and that is psycho behavior; and this psycho is allowed to carry guns.
He incited something and went and turned it around so that it was your fault. That is psycho-behavior.
Anyway, you did the right thing. Maybe somewhere deep down you think you were wrong, but you did nothing wrong. Just be happy knowing you are not a crazy psycho like he is.0 -
I have 2 thoughts:
1. I've also noticed, as most of us have, that when someone sees a fat person buying something like donuts, chocolate, etc., then their mind immediately goes to "they have no self control." This doesn't happen when they see a thin person buying sweets.
2. He may have been genuinely trying to help. Sure, you didn't see it that way, but he suggested a way you can not only eat chocolate, but also save some calories while doing so. If you are trying to lose weight (and you are), that is helpful advice. You didn't like that a stranger gave you unsolicited advice... I get that, though some of us would actually use that information to help us regardless of the source (of course I would also fact check it to be sure).
Really? So say I run into you in a grocery store, and I see that your cart is filled with junk food so I say to you, "hey, you know if you ate less junk food you could probably lose some weight." you're telling me you would say "wow, thanks for the helpful advice!"
No. No you wouldn't. Nobody would.
Not something generic like that that I already know. But if you came up to me when I was buying yogurt and said, "Hey, you can get more protein by eating greek yogurt." I would say "thank you" and then check into it and perhaps even take the advice. That has actually happened. There is a difference between generic advice like "eat less junk food" and specific information like "this particular brand of chocolate has fewer calories."
If a man came up to me while I was buying yogurt at the groceries and suggested a way for me to get more protein....
...I'd slap him.
And I'm quite sure that is EXACTLY what he was looking for. He was spoling for a fight with anyone.0 -
I'll play devils advocate. Now I know you took it the way you took it and reacted how you did, but honestly I think he said something helpful/suggestive but just probably didn't realize it may have come out awkward. You are basing his comments on the assumption that he sees you as you see yourself: overweight, and trying to lose. For all you know that's NOT what he was thinking. In fact, he may have just lost weight himself to be in the marines or trying to keep his weight down for that, saw you choosing chocolates, and thought of a suggestion "why don't you try skinny cow?" Maybe he's tried it and liked it.
He may really not have thought you would then blow up at him over that.
My response would have been "yea I know that stuffs got less calories, but today I'm going for the good stuff. Gotta have fun right?" Then I would have smiled and brushed it off. But that's me. Most people don't see me as heavy at all so I wouldn't have taken it that way. It all depends on your perspective. I'm pretty easy going.0 -
I'll play devils advocate. Now I know you took it the way you took it and reacted how you did, but honestly I think he said something helpful/suggestive but just probably didn't realize it may have come out awkward. You are basing his comments on the assumption that he sees you as you see yourself: overweight, and trying to lose. For all you know that's NOT what he was thinking. In fact, he may have just lost weight himself to be in the marines or trying to keep his weight down for that, saw you choosing chocolates, and thought of a suggestion "why don't you try skinny cow?" Maybe he's tried it and liked it.
He may really not have thought you would then blow up at him over that.
My response would have been "yea I know that stuffs got less calories, but today I'm going for the good stuff. Gotta have fun right?" Then I would have smiled and brushed it off. But that's me. Most people don't see me as heavy at all so I wouldn't have taken it that way. It all depends on your perspective. I'm pretty easy going.
Thank you for describing this so clearly. He may have had positive intentions, and the OP possibly made him not want to help the next person. None of us really know - only the person who said it knows exactly what he meant. I see some people immediately jump to conclude the worst, some of us immediately jump to conclude the best. With all other factors known (such as that he is a marine), I can't help but assume the best. Maybe I'm wrong... and maybe those who think he was trying to insult the OP are wrong. Either way, can't we all at least give him the benefit of the doubt?!0 -
I'll play devils advocate. Now I know you took it the way you took it and reacted how you did, but honestly I think he said something helpful/suggestive but just probably didn't realize it may have come out awkward. You are basing his comments on the assumption that he sees you as you see yourself: overweight, and trying to lose. For all you know that's NOT what he was thinking. In fact, he may have just lost weight himself to be in the marines or trying to keep his weight down for that, saw you choosing chocolates, and thought of a suggestion "why don't you try skinny cow?" Maybe he's tried it and liked it.
He may really not have thought you would then blow up at him over that.
My response would have been "yea I know that stuffs got less calories, but today I'm going for the good stuff. Gotta have fun right?" Then I would have smiled and brushed it off. But that's me. Most people don't see me as heavy at all so I wouldn't have taken it that way. It all depends on your perspective. I'm pretty easy going.
Thank you for describing this so clearly. He may have had positive intentions, and the OP possibly made him not want to help the next person. None of us really know - only the person who said it knows exactly what he meant. I see some people immediately jump to conclude the worst, some of us immediately jump to conclude the best. With all other factors known (such as that he is a marine), I can't help but assume the best. Maybe I'm wrong... and maybe those who think he was trying to insult the OP are wrong. Either way, can't we all at least give him the benefit of the doubt?!
I have been reading the other comments to try and see other viewpoints on this. Your comments on this definitely resonate with me. And you're right, he may have been trying to be helpful. But then if that were true, when the OP had given her response, he might have said something more like "Congrats on your weightloss" or "my apologies, I didn't mean to offend." But instead, he called her oversensitive, which tells me he was not being entirely sympathetic or altruistic, but maybe just a little judgemental.
Or maybe we are talking about someone who had a bad day and didn't respond in the most positive way (I am talking about the young marine here.) We have all had those days where we stuck our foot in our mouth at one time or another.
By the way, to all the service men and women, I want to thank you for all you do to protect our country and our freedoms.0 -
It is good that you spoke up. His reaction is similar to men who get called out for making rude comments and catcalls. They will say they were only trying to be nice.
You are there doing your own thing and didn't need him to give you his advice. Anyone who says that maybe he was trying to be constructive and helpful is wrong. He was being disrespectful, the same way someone who catcalls women is. It is uncalled for and people should really learn to mind their own business.0
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