How do you deal with critics?

I have similar problems with a couple of colleagues, thankfully not ones I have to see often. Like you I tend to be able to smile and ignore, but sometimes it really gets to me.

Reading your thread, a new tactic occurred to me - asking a question.

E.g. Her, "I hope you don't put it all on again like you did last time".
You, "Hmm, yeah, good point. How do you stop yourself from getting overweight?".

Her, "There' s nothing on this menu you can you eat".
You, "Hmm, you may be right. How do you decide what's a good thing to order?".

I'm envisaging the "hmms" as a slightly bored, distracted noises and then paying no attention to the answer.

Any ideas on other ways to get her snide comments to stop?

Have you politely talked to her about your concern?

I nod, I smile, I carry on doing what I'm doing.

**Side note - I used to get teased some by co workers about my food choices (I eat a lot of chocolate/crisps at work). They'd say 'Oh, are you really going to eat all that. Just so you can burn it off at the gym?'

I followed the nod, smile, carry on approach.. I still eat my chocolate. And they've stopped mentioning it.

I tend to take an upfront approach with this kind of thing (though it's not been weight-related for me -- yet!).

I agree that it's none of her damn business, and that you should not be treated this way. But some people simply cannot / will not take a hint, so being direct but professional may be the only way to get through to her.

I would find a time to speak with her privately so she can actually *hear* what you have to say, rather than in a public place where she's going to be embarrassed or defensive, which will cause your words to go in one ear and out the other.

I would simply say that you do not appreciate her comments and you would like her to please stop. And that's it. No discussion, no "here's why I don't like the comments" (you) or "I only say those things because...." (her).

If she comments again, tell her immediately that she needs to stop and that if she doesn't, you will discuss the situation with HR. And if she comments AGAIN, go to HR.

Three strikes and you're out in my book. (And yes, I realize she has way more than three strikes at this point, but until you say something directly, you kind of can't count them.)

Good luck!

PS - I do think you should start documenting her comments in case you do need to go to HR. Doing in front of her is kind of genius.

Punch her in the face.

I had someone like this in my life. Every time she said something just like what she is saying to you, I would say, "Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it." And then go about my business. I could actually see her get tense inside because she was not getting a rise from me. After awhile, my cheery attitude with her got boring to her, I guess, and she moved on to someone else. I filled the next person in on what to say....it was fun to watch as she got bored with her too. Good luck!! ~Skye :flowerforyou:

Punch her in the face.

Specifically the jaw...

Bore her mute! Next time she offers a 'helpful' comment really turn into her and start to talk earnestly and non stop about how much you've lost/how you did it/what your aspirations are/how good it feels now/how bad it felt before/what you have just bought clothes wise/macros/statistics/etc/etc -you get the idea. Don't let her walk away. Pin her down and lecture her. Every. Freakin. Time. She. Does. It.

I have never understood why some people strive to bring others down to their level of dispair just because they are too lazy or weak to raise themselves up.

Really enjoyed the comment (paraphrased) about thanking her for the advice since she has done such a good job with her own health. :bigsmile:

You did the right thing by just ignoring her. There isn't much you can do to people like that as they have no respect of themselves. Then again, sometimes they just don't realize they are being dumb *kitten* until it is pointed out. That may be all it takes. Going to HR is one step, but once you do the investigation is out of your hands and you can't stop it. I personally would approach her, with a witness, and tell her the comments are not appropriate. If the comments continue take it to your supervisor, they are legally bound to address the situation.