My husband doesn't get it!

Yes. I just this week gave up. I decided to have will power to make his (and my adult kids who are back home) meals and make my own separate. I do all my exercising while he is at work and do not discuss my diet with him at all. If he offers me anything I need to stay strong enough to say no thanks!


And no...it is not easy.

Mine goes behind my back while I am cooking and orders a pizza or something.

Well, it's all about will power! My Fiance' and I like different food items as well. You have to compensate by pre-cooking or pre-packing some of the food. Make some days easier on yourself. Like eating salads are easy to prepare for yourself. Other foods that require seasoning, make them add thier own so you are not forced to taste it and add to it. Or have them taste it. Try buying pre-cooked food from Walmart, Kroger or Target. They have roasted chicken, fried and baked. Or Kroger has a pot roast where all you have to do is mix it and bake it! You have to get creative! I hope this helps! Good luck!

YES! My fiance is a big guy 6'2 about 270, but has always been a bigger guy and we both love him like that. NOW i am 5'2 (on a good day) and 166lbs. I am not huge more shapely but i gained alot of weight after our first child.

He eats EVERYTHING, he ate a whole box of twinkies in 2 days... and he is always offering me a bite of his candy bars, or cakes, or twinkies, and then when i tell him no... he says well its just a bite... but a bite turns into me wanting 2 bites and so on.

He tells me all the time you look good, you dont need to lose weight, and i try to explain to him it isnt for him it is for me, I dont feel good.

I guess i dont have any advice... i just wanted to vent.

I will say when i am at work (away from him) i do eat as healthy as i can, that way when i get home if he does cook STEAK AND POTATOS i just limit my portions and dont feel guilty for eating what the rest of the famnily is having

I've been cooking seperately for probably over two years. Sometimes I steal some of his hamburg for his spagetti to make my salad a taco salad. I frequently eat a small portion of the meat I cooked for him with a big portion of vegis while he eats his potatoes and gravy.

While it may not help, you might remind your hubby that thin and healthy are independent traits. I've read other posts like yours and the best advice (besides "dump the chump!" which is the most common but perhaps not the best...) I've seen is to try including him whenever possible. If he says he doesn't need exercise to be fit, just say you'd like his company at the gym. Maybe challenge him a little by saying he should take a cardio test just to gauge how fit he is. A lot of us guys are game for a challenge... especially when we think we'll win (maybe I'm revealing too much here about how men are wired?)! And when we don't, well, we try to change the outcome (e.g. he may become a health fanatic to the extreme!).

Good luck, stay strong and be healthy! If he won't join you on your journey, make it your own, then spend his life insurance money on a beach home and a 20 year old hardbody (kidding, of course!).

My kids give me more crap than my husband does. I make a healthy meat and a couple of sides including veggies and a salad. I eat what I want and they eat what they want (within reason, of course).

Good luck with it. It's so hard to do when someone is hampering your efforts. I agree with one of the other posters - do what you need to do without discussing it with him. Hopefully, he'll get it when your weight starts coming off.

I just cook what I want for the most part. When I do cook meals he would prefer I just tweak my calories durning the day. But for the most part I had to stop listening to him and ignore/ cut back on the junk brought into the house. My husband is supportive of me wanting to lose weight and get healthy. He is my cheerleader. But with him being a Marine he could, for the time being, eat all the junk he wanted and be the meat and potatoes kinda guy. A little while ago he got put on light duty and gained weight. A lot by the Corps standards. So I now have him more on board with me. The veggies are eaten first off the plate now. I think you have to have a healthy balance between what you want and what he wants as far as meals.

I wouldnt expect anyone to be on a 'diet' with me. So I guess I would cook separate meals. Or get him to fend for himself. Depends if he is capable?

As for his lack of support, just dont tell him what you're doing. It's pretty boring for someone that has never had to worry about it, plus they dont have a clue, so what's the point?

Work this on your own, log on here for support, and/or try and find a girlfriend who wants to lose weight too.

Good luck :flowerforyou:

When I first started this journey, my husband had his doubts and I don't blame him. I've always gave up on my weight loss many times. Here I am on day 27 and 11lbs down. My husband sees how committed I am and gives me input when I ask. He supports me now, which I love. ♥ I do make separate meals for myself and my family. This is my lifestyle change, not theirs. They're healthy and I'm not.

Congrats!!! I am going thru the same thing... but i guess u proved him wrong... im focused and really committed this time.
Great story.

Yep. My boyfriend never discusses or judges my eating, and I don't critique his. It's a rule. Also, we talk about what we want for dinner. If we both want sushi or salad, great. If he wants burgers and I don't, we each do our own shopping and cooking. Don't let it become an issue by sparring with him or fanning the flame. Just operate independently and keep the peace.

Cook what you want to eat and if he wants something different he can cook it himself. Remember you are doing this for you.

well-said! agreed!

This emphasizes the absolute need for support people to help you. By that I mean people who will not constantly give advice from their lack of experience, but who will encourage you to keep going. Sometimes people who should support us don't because of reasons in themselves. For example your healthy eating may be making your husband more aware of the junk he eats. He might not realize it on the surface, but when you ate junk with him, it makes it see less bad for him. Some people are worried that the weight loss will change you in other ways that will negatively effect them. I'm sure the reasons are as many as their are people around you who don't actively encourage your weight loss.

Now by this, I am not saying they are actively opposing you. It is that they, often subtly, hinder your efforts. For example, I have now lost 65 pounds. People will compliment me on the weight loss, but when I say I need to lose another 25 pounds they will say things like "You don't want to get too thin." Now I am no where near getting too thin. My body fat % is still around 27% which is way to high, and if I were to take off my shirt in front of them they would see the fat that covers my body. Yet, because I look so much thinner and because they care, they keep telling me not to lose more. If I asked these people to support and encourage me, or expected them to, I would be putting weight on again and probably end up back where I started.

Thankfully, my wife is not one of those, and my weight loss is encouraging her to consider more carefully what she eats.

Secondly, you can lose weight even eating meat and potatoes. It is a matter of serving size. Instead of eating lots of meat and potatoes. Eat less meat and a small amount of potatoes and pile on the veggies for yourself. If you husband wants to eat lots of meat and potatoes and just a spoonful of veggies, that is his choice.

I have no idea what your relationship with him is like, but there is a part of me that thinks if he doesn't want to eat a healthy, tasty (I'm assuming your desired meals are tasty) meal you prepared, he can fend for himself. I'm sure there are lots of things he can eat in the house. Only you can say if that would work with your husband.

As for the advice he gives you. No idea what to respond. Since I did and do a lot of reading in this area, I simply respond to people who give advice that is outright wrong with a smile and keep doing what I am doing. If they are really interested, I will answer their questions, but I find bad advice easier to ignore now that I have taken off 65 pounds.

My husband and kids do not like to eat healthy and at first my husband hated the idea of healthy food but now after almost a year he is starting to come around and eat healthier things with me. For the days when he wants his "steak and potatoes" type meals I just make a lean meat with whatever unhealthy thing he wants and then a large portion of vegetable. I eat a small portion of meat and a double portion of vegetables instead of the unhealthy item. I have found that if I fill my plate up with veggies before making it to the unhealthy food I no longer have room on my plate for it and can more easily skip dishing some up for myself. If for whatever reason I simply cannot pass on the unhealthy food I will just take a half portion to satisfy my craving but not overdo it on the calories.

I understand exactly where you're coming from. My DH has been alot like this in the past. He is skinny & has no need to loose any weight. However this time he can see a difference in how I am going about this. I have told him that this is going to be a lifestyle change for me & that I would like for him to join me. That he would still be able to have the junk & other things he wanted as long as we could change up some of the other items to things that I could have & enjoy.

So now instead of all junk to go with the meal I make him some mac n cheese, but the rest of the sides are a salad, green beans, beans, brocolli, carrots, or other types of veggies. Plus I usually do not eat the mac n cheese. I am also working on making the meat we eat better for us. Like lean cuts of meat, lots of chicken, turkey meat instead of hamburger meat, fish, etc. I am also looking for better & healthier ways to prepare the food, but to leave it to a way that we can still enjoy it. Like I fry nothing now, everything is pretty much baked or sauted. Also alot of the veggies are steamed with just a little butter & salt.

We have been talking about sitting down together & going through recipes together to find some new things to try. There is a website I am going to be using to. It is called www.skinnytaste.com. Go check it out. Also try hard to pull your DH into it. Explain to him just how important this is to you. Ask him to HELP you find a good compromise!