I dont know were this is headed anymore
Replies
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honestly, I think you need to sit down, face-to-face and talk this all out. This seems like something the 2 of you need to be discussing.0
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Has anyone suggested a good therapist?
You have issues you need to work out OP, and they have nothing to do with if this guy likes you. Take a step back from this relationship, regain your identity, work to solidify your financial footing, stop being his maid, invite him to your apartment. Talk to a therapist about why being alone is difficult and why you are so concerned with not being able to read him. Talk about if you are projecting anger.
Or just break up.
The end.0 -
Dude, it's been three months and you already have problems that other couples have after a few years.
Just move on. And the next time you meet a dude you like, don't become his housekeeper.
Ladies love being the maid though. LOL
WUT?
I change my statement to clingy ladies who need reason to be around like to clean. I don't know why. I do not like to becomes someone's world.
I don't think they are related at all.
I love to cook. I'll cook for everyone and anyone. That doesn't make me clingy.
Some women love to clean. Some women were raised thinking that it's their job. Some women just don't want to live in a dirty bachelor pad. That doesn't mean they are clingy.
Activities aren't always prescriptive.
True but I also know women that want to be with the guy and if his place is dirty then she will not come over. Then the guy rushes to clean his pad in personal record time.
That scenario has absolutely nothing to do with your comment.
Also, wanting to come over to a place that isn't filthy =/= clingy.
I apologize for the first comment. i thought it was a joke since this is the fun thread. My second comment on clingy ladies always cleaning is what I notice when I see someone cling to me or a friend way too quick. Sorry I am not sorry.0 -
Wait... 3 months? I feel like that's just getting to exclusive/seious dating time frame, not live together upheaval of your life time frame. But perhaps that's just me.0
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This is how co dependent abusive relationships start.
You know something is wrong but you hang in there.
Why would anyone want to be with someone that is angry most of the time?
Seriously, go to your house and if he wants to be with you, he will show up there.
I'd be angry too if someone was in my face 24/7. Somehow I don't think he's the problem.0 -
Has anyone suggested a good therapist?
You have issues you need to work out OP, and they have nothing to do with if this guy likes you. Take a step back from this relationship, regain your identity, work to solidify your financial footing, stop being his maid, invite him to your apartment. Talk to a therapist about why being alone is difficult and why you are so concerned with not being able to read him. Talk about if you are projecting anger.
Or just break up.
The end.
+1. You need to work on your insecurities, self esteem issues (maybe even damage from prior abusive relationships?). Having slight insecurities is human, but when they affect your life the way yours clearly are, they're not minor.0 -
Dude, it's been three months and you already have problems that other couples have after a few years.
Just move on. And the next time you meet a dude you like, don't become his housekeeper.
Ladies love being the maid though. LOL
we do? Crap, I think my memo got lost in the mail......0 -
Dude, it's been three months and you already have problems that other couples have after a few years.
Just move on. And the next time you meet a dude you like, don't become his housekeeper.
Ladies love being the maid though. LOL
WUT?
I change my statement to clingy ladies who need reason to be around like to clean. I don't know why. I do not like to becomes someone's world.
I don't think they are related at all.
I love to cook. I'll cook for everyone and anyone. That doesn't make me clingy.
Some women love to clean. Some women were raised thinking that it's their job. Some women just don't want to live in a dirty bachelor pad. That doesn't mean they are clingy.
Activities aren't always prescriptive.
True but I also know women that want to be with the guy and if his place is dirty then she will not come over. Then the guy rushes to clean his pad in personal record time.
That scenario has absolutely nothing to do with your comment.
Also, wanting to come over to a place that isn't filthy =/= clingy.
I apologize for the first comment. i thought it was a joke since this is the fun thread. My second comment on clingy ladies always cleaning is what I notice when I see someone cling to me or a friend way too quick. Sorry I am not sorry.
Well, yes, you sure are the expert on women and our motivations. Gold star for you!
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Great video...totally true
Man brain vs woman brain
http://youtu.be/3XjUFYxSxDk
Full 2 hr video:
http://youtu.be/814eR5K7KD8 0 -
Just break up so we don't have to read these posts anymore0
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OP, I understand where you are coming from with the insecurities and everything, I really do. But let me second what a lot of people have said: you really need to take time apart from a relationship and just work on YOU. Relationships are hard work anyway, you have to be where you are content with just yourself and being on your own before it can ever work in a relationship. For example, my husband and I were friends for six years before we ever even started dating. Why? Because we knew we weren't ready for it yet and we still had issues on our own that we needed to work out before we could really be there and work together in a relationship. And because we waited and got the issues straightened out first, our relationship works a lot better than it ever could have before. I probably would have sabotaged it kind of like you are doing and then I'd be without my best friend. Seriously, write in a journal, talk to a therapist, read, meditate, whatever it takes for you to figure out where the insecurities are coming from and why you don't seem to be happy by yourself and take care of it. Until then, I'm afraid all of your relationships are going to crash and burn.0
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"A)Feelings that are still there for his ex"
Are you a rebound that fizzled out?
they broke up a year ago..
but he told me he still has feelings and thinks about her.. I came to the realization that I have to get used to it..
that definitely screams rebound.
listen to yourself, something is off...so something is off.
this isn't rocket science, don't try to make beef stroganoff out of stone soup here.0 -
. I cook for him, clean his house. I have met all of his family and friends. Lately he just seems more distant.
Advice?
STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!
You've given up things that made you happy? Oh NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! These are the things that make you an individual. This is the stuff that you bring TO the relationship. This is the stuff that you do for yourself to be happy. When you rely solely on another individual for your happiness, you're just sowing seeds of resentment later.
And you've gone from being the girlfriend to being his wife/maid, in what? 3 months? O.o
I hate to be the one to say it, but GO BACK TO BEING THE GIRLFRIEND. Let go a little bit. Three months is a VERY short time to step into the role of wife, no matter how badly you may think you want that title.
It doesn't sound like he wants a haus frau. There is NOTHING sexy about cleaning a toilet three months in. If he's got his *kitten* that together, let HIM buy his own groceries. You're not living together, You don't "owe" him groceries. You can offer to cook dinner with what he's got in his fridge or MAYBE bring over a treat, but that's as far as I'd push it.
(If you've met his parents, what's the dynamic between him mom and dad? Does she wait on him hand and foot or is she off doing her own thing? That alone speaks VOLUMES, by the way.)
My advice:
Be a little less available. You don't need to be there EVERY day.
Make YOU the priority.
GO back to doing the things YOU love to do, the things that make YOU who you are.
And STOP BEING HIS HOUSEKEEPER!!
When you go back to being his girlfriend, you might find that things get better and are more fun.
this ^
and why the need to sleep with him on the first night you started dating? Where's the challenge here??0 -
Any good relationship can survive each partner having alone time and their own interests. If you feel like you have to give up the activities you love in order to maintain the relationship, you have a problem.
OP, try going back to your own apartment for a week. Go back to his place over the weekend, if he invites you, but go home for a few days. A healthy relationship can survive that test.0 -
If you don't know where it is headed, then it's not headed anywhere.
I think you should take some time - in your own apartment - to figure out where you would like to go. He'll come visit if he wants you.
...Or just stay and clean his house until he kicks you out if the sex is really, really good....
(Disclaimer: I'm not certified to give internet relationship advice. I think there was an online course that I should have completed or something first. I only offer my comments for amusement...usually my amusement...but yeah...)0 -
Sorry, but when you are with someone for the right reason, they make life better even if you are just sitting on the couch with them.
TRUTH0 -
Oh Lawd ...0
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