Why do so many women care what men prefer?

Actually I mostly dont! lol

answer matches avi.

ETA: Is that a snowflake on your beanie?

Really sick of the insecurity answer. How about because it's only natural to want to appeal to the opposite sex ... it's called sexual selection. If only we could admit to ourselves that we want to secure a sexual partner instead of berating other women for wanting to do exactly that. Disclaimer: not to be mistaken for putting up with abusive, degrading, or non-reciprocating partners, aka making sammiches for a demanding man who never makes you sammiches in return and doesn't respect you.

Ding ding ding. Winner winner chicken dinner. Although I will say...some relationships are structured to make a sammich for the man that doesn't make you sammiches (because you don't eat them) and as long as both parties are into it, it's fine. Personally I also like kneeling by his chair while he strokes my hair

answer matches avi

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That's all. Discuss as you like.

It is human nature to want to be attractive to the opposite gender. Men also care what women prefer.

The problem with specific questions, though, is that if you ask 100 people what they like about something, you might well get 100 different answers. So, it's best to just be yourself and someone who prefers the kind of person you are will be attracted to you.

Women have been societally conditioned to base their self worth on males finding her attractive.

Because they need to get the D.

Duh.

Because society, advertising, shows and movies all tell us to care. So we are all brought up to think (this is the majority mind you) that our worth is in our ability to make all the men want to look at us. And women go along with it.

If the man doesn't like you how you are, he isn't worth bothering with in the first place.

The reverse applies for you, too, fellas! Let the haters hate, and find the real woman you should be with.



Edit: Damn, that ended up huge. Cartman is scary up close.

You really believe this? You reject anthropology (mentioned earlier), biology, and the obvious patterns of other organisms that don't have access to TV, societal programming, advertising?

I really wonder if I live in the same world as some of you.

You are making an incorrect assumption. We were talking about women who live in a society that has the societal norms and that influence of someone who has access to this technology. This topic was posted on a website. On the internet. Not in the village ceremonial ground. People who live in this type of social environment can easily become obsessed with appearance as that is what is pushed from childhood onward, and the influence they received through media is perpetuated by whatever nurture we received growing up. It's a self-renewing cycle.)

Anthropology....hmmm. There are big differences between mainstream culture and native populations. Not the same. People in cultures such as you bring up, without media and web-head mentalities...well that is a different ballgame altogether. Sure they want to look good to attract a mate. But I doubt the pervasive obsession is the same as in media-cultures. Sure there is a basic, want-to-procreate urge in common. That's a "duh." But the topic suggested implies, IMO, "why do they care so damn much what men prefer?" Why should what a man thinks affect your worth?" And I argue that the inundation of the obsession with visual perfection is perpetuated with media. For all you know, in a more-primitive culture, appearance is valued in addition to the individual's worth and accomplishments. Not just the visual preference of the male to the exclusion of all else. What is the woman's dowry? The reputation of her family? Does she look like she will bear strong sons? I imagine women have many suitors to choose from. They can take their pick. Not having to worry if she can catch a mate, but having the decision of which one to choose among many.

You're trying to compare bananas to turnips here. Sure they have "being the produce of a plant" in common. The similarities end there.



It is so terrible to suggest, that instead of being obsessed with what the opposite sex thinks or prefers, you should look to your own self-worth, like yourself and find someone who likes you for you as you are. Such an awful POV...shame on me. :laugh:

Because sex is the ONLY thing that is important. Wait...what? No it isn't. Sorry.

Why do so many women care what men prefer?

Why ask why?

When I get up in the morning and go to the gym, I do it for me. When I get dressed and put on my make up for the day, I wear clothes that I think make me look good. If a man looks at me an likes what he sees, that is a bonus. I enjoy being appreciated, but I am not going to go out of my way to wear things I don't like or act a different way just to get male attention.

Exactly this.

Hey, I like to get appreciative looks as much as any other lady. It's just icing, though. I'm not destroyed if I don't.

My husband met me thin, still married me 3 years later when I got fat on him. He stuck with me being fat all this time. Now I have a different shape, consistently approaching my "started dating weight", which he definitely appreciates more, but it's still me inside. Whether I'm rocking a t-shirt and holey mom-pants or dressed up. He obviously saw something worthwhile in me. Every woman deserves a man like that. I'm not saying that it isn't better with me in better shape. I wish I was strong enough to do that sooner.

It is so terrible to suggest, that instead of being obsessed with what the opposite sex thinks or prefers, you should look to your own self-worth, like yourself and find someone who likes you for you as you are. Such an awful POV...shame on me. :laugh:

It's a comfortable belief much like belief in an afterlife is comforting.

If you read solarpower's answer and my response, you'd know that I don't believe humans have intrinsic self worth. Subjective theory of value.

And I argue that the inundation of the obsession with visual perfection is perpetuated with media

Or the media reflects an existing obsession.

I don't care what men prefer. I do like looking pretty. Pretty for me, not somebody else's pretty.

If you haven't noticed "attractive" is a big umbrella.

Subjective theory of value.

I haven't read about this. But I'd like to find out if there's anything there or if it's pseudo-intellectualism. I mean it sounds obvious on the surface, doesn't it? Worth, by its very nature, is comparative, not absolute.

hmm? It's an idea spread by classical economists followed by Austrian economists, rejecting labor theory of value (Marx and others who believe value is proportional to the societal labor put in). Not pseudo-intellectualism. Not scientific fact either.

it forms the basis of modern free market philosophy

I don't.

It is so terrible to suggest, that instead of being obsessed with what the opposite sex thinks or prefers, you should look to your own self-worth, like yourself and find someone who likes you for you as you are. Such an awful POV...shame on me. :laugh:

It's a comfortable belief much like belief in an afterlife is comforting.

If you read solarpower's answer and my response, you'd know that I don't believe humans have intrinsic self worth. Subjective theory of value.

And I argue that the inundation of the obsession with visual perfection is perpetuated with media

Or the media reflects an existing obsession.

No intrinsic worth. Well, humans are naturally self-serving...but there is perceived worth. Worth we have perceived that we have earned and worth that people perceive in others. Might not be intrinsic, but what we are talking about lies in perceptions, doesn't it. Take a girl in shabby clothes with no make-up and untidy hair. Compare her a girl made-up and dressed provocatively. What worth do we project on one and not the other, based upon mere appearances?

The comforting belief: It is a comforting belief, but I think having good self-esteem is important. I used to hate myself. Now my perspective has changed. And maybe my behavior has changed as well to some degree. My husband perceives me as a good mother and wife. He thinks I am attractive. Others may disagree. In the end, my perceptions of myself, and the perceptions about me of those important to my life, are the most important perceptions to me.

I still disagree about the media. I see the media as "magnifying" underlying preoccupations inherent in the human animal. Without the magnifier, I believe the preoccupation would have less power. Would be less intense. But good point.

Because they have a penis and a wallet. Duh.

Best ( and truest, imo) answer ever!