My husband doesn't get it!

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Replies

  • edinphx
    edinphx Posts: 135 Member
    Somewhere on this site someone asked how many peoples sex drive has changed since they
    started becoming more healthy. An overwhelming majority of the responses were that it indeed increase their
    sex drive by becoming more confident with themselves. Let him know you becoming healthy is
    a "win, win" for everyone!
  • kohalagirl27
    kohalagirl27 Posts: 3
    You should stop buying junk food then he won't eat it!
  • nehptune
    nehptune Posts: 138
    exactly what he said!!
    Cook what you want to eat and if he wants something different he can cook it himself. Remember you are doing this for you.


    and from all the responses i see... i have to wonder how it is that we are in the 21st century and women still feel like it is their job to do all the cooking!!!
  • alyssa83202
    alyssa83202 Posts: 334
    hmm- my bf is really supportive so no. But i think if he weren't I would make the healthy food I want and let him cook what ever kind of crap he wants to eat for himself if he's going to be a pain about it. but thats just me, I get cranky.
    Same here! lol
  • mariannekehl
    mariannekehl Posts: 66 Member
    Tell him that being physically fit makes you feel sexier. It worked for me!:blushing:
  • spacecase76
    spacecase76 Posts: 673 Member
    wow, I am so glad my hubby is supportive.

    We are a tad on the "foodie" side. He loves fresh veggies, fruit, lean meats, etc. Heck, he LIKES to cook. The small changes that we have made over the years (whole wheat pasta, brown rice instead of white, things like that), have just come naturally for us. Now, he isn't out jogging with me, but, he does keep the toddler occupied so that I can work-out at my scheduled time. And, he praises any little accomplishment I make :smooched:

    Edited to add: My kids have eaten "healthy" food all their lives, so they eat what we eat. The only thing I make "special" for them is Mac & cheese once or twice a year. Hubby likes it, I hate it.
  • Jizes318
    Jizes318 Posts: 409 Member
    My husband supports me and watched me eating all the right foods and has jumped on the bandwagon with me. We eat the same things and I am usually the one who cooks. So yea us! But on a side note If he didn't want what I cooked he can make his own food lol
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
    Wait, what is this thing? Some of you guys make a meal for your husband? I must tell my wife this, she would be shocked! :tongue:

    Just kidding, who ever's home cooks in our house.

    But here's the thing, it's difficult to grasp what someone else's feelings are, so really all you can do is make yours known in a respectful manor, and hope they understand. If you feel that his thoughts are not helpful, tell him, but tell him in a way that doesn't threaten him or degrade him. If he doesn't stop, well, you tried nice, now be forceful.

    And I would echo the advice posted before, sometimes thin is not healthy. Take my brother, master carpenter, very active, he's 6'3" and about 185 lbs, very good weight, thin, strong, athletic. But his blood work was horrific. His blood pressure was super high, his cholesterol and triglycerides were brutal, he had plaque in his arteries. Essentially he was a few months from a TIA or heart attack. Yet he could lift 80 lb bags of concrete all day and swing a hammer dawn till dusk. Just because you are thin does not make you healthy.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Are we married to the same guy??? My husband is the exact same way. I just do what I can and let him lead his unhealthey lifestyle. Hang in there!
  • curleesam
    curleesam Posts: 462 Member
    I have the same problem so now I cook dinner in the evening and he eats that and I eat a salad or something healthy and easy to do (soup, baked potato...something light!) then the next day I have last nights dinner for lunch. That way I can burn it off, I'm not wasting food and it encourages me to gym. Just watch the portion sizes!
  • cmyrick75
    cmyrick75 Posts: 187 Member
    OMG.... Did we marry the same man??? Mine gives me the same speech all the time about just not eating so much and he LIVES on meat and potatos! What I end up doing is "yesing" him and then doing my own thing. For dinner, I cook 2 variations: one for me, and one for the hubby and kid. I'll cook a balanced meal for them and I'll make myself a healthier variation. Most times, I turn it into a salad. He wants steak and potatos, I make steak and put it over a salad and either eat a very small portion of potatos, if not skip them. (depends on what i ate the rest of the day.)

    He says he supports me but it is a different kind of support than the kind that I get from people who have been where I am and struggled as I have. It's hard for them to understand when they have never had to be where we are.
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
    Yes I totally get it...My BF is half my body weight and eats 4x the calories I do and has lost 10 lbs since we've been together...<hating him> LOL. He thinks he is supportive but has no clue what calorie counting is like. His answer is just excercise it off...Not that simple, but trying. The one benefit is that I get to keep certain foods as mine and they all know not to touch it. :) I often still may eat some of the things my family is eating but use a food scale, eat slower or make sure to drink water often while we're eating. It forces me to slow down. When I want seconds, I force myself to wait and will do a small chore and by the time Im done, I have usually forgotten about the second portion and dont really want it. If there is something like fried potatoes with breakfast, I pass on that and maybe add something better for me instead. Good Luck with this one.
  • bdavenport62
    bdavenport62 Posts: 101
    Cook what you want to eat and if he wants something different he can cook it himself. Remember you are doing this for you.

    I agree with this. My husband does not eat ANY veggies or fruits. I can't eat like that so I make my own stuff and he makes his. If I ever get tempted by his stuff I just keeping telling myself that it is not mine and I don't really want it anyway. I can't wait for my son to get older so I can actually cook for someone else.
  • bjshields
    bjshields Posts: 677 Member
    Oh, I TOTALLY feel for you. My husband is technically supportive, but it's mostly intellectual and not actual (insofar as his own diet and exercise habits go). I make a healthy meal at night, try not to make my kitchen a diner, and leave it at that. It definitely has been difficult at times, though; I tried to give up soda cold turkey, but he would have soda around me ALL the time, and I finally gave in. Now even my kids crave soda, which just breaks my heart. It may be diet, but some people say that's even worse for you than regular.

    Take care of yourself; he's a big boy, let him make his own crappy food!
  • Hotlips69
    Hotlips69 Posts: 66
    My Husband is a terrible eater. But this change is for me to get me Healthy. He is soooo stubourn he will not eat what I eat he refuses, he eats bacon by the pound, potatoes, white bread, gravies and junk! But those are his choices. I ask him every so often if he'd like to join me on this journey and he says no! So i make dinner for him and my son and make healthy dinners for my daughter and myself. My husband as well as yours, needs to be accountable for themselves. Your husband maybe be small, but if he eats in an unhealthy way he may be unhealthy. Just go on with eating the way you need to, so that you can be healthy!!
  • kevinbc
    kevinbc Posts: 34 Member
    In our house my wife and I are both trying to lose weight so we eat the same things but if I were not on a diet the dinner is was is on the table if you don't like it you don't get anything else and that is for the kids also. And remember ladies its not a diet it's a life style change so just because your husbands\kids are skinny and can eat anything and not gain weight doesn't mean they are healthy.
  • Katz85340
    Katz85340 Posts: 206 Member
    While it may not help, you might remind your hubby that thin and healthy are independent traits. I've read other posts like yours and the best advice (besides "dump the chump!" which is the most common but perhaps not the best...) I've seen is to try including him whenever possible. If he says he doesn't need exercise to be fit, just say you'd like his company at the gym. Maybe challenge him a little by saying he should take a cardio test just to gauge how fit he is. A lot of us guys are game for a challenge... especially when we think we'll win (maybe I'm revealing too much here about how men are wired?)! And when we don't, well, we try to change the outcome (e.g. he may become a health fanatic to the extreme!).

    Good luck, stay strong and be healthy! If he won't join you on your journey, make it your own, then spend his life insurance money on a beach home and a 20 year old hardbody (kidding, of course!).

    LMAO! Love your input (and especially the input of a male)! I agree with everything you said!
  • swisspea
    swisspea Posts: 327 Member
    It seems that your concerns are more than just separate meals, it's about how he views your life choice here. Tell him straight up that you feel hurt and disrespected by his comments, and that you'd like to go through this with his support, not by being bossy.

    My partner and I are sometimes often in the kitchen cooking two separate meals and then eat together. He is a meat-eater and I am a vegetarian, and who am I to say that he shouldn't have that steak? Apart from my neurosis about having someone else in the kitchen, it works and we have fun with it!
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