Have you seen FED UP - the documentary?

No, but get pretty pissed off that the store has to surround her with every interesting treat and candy at the point of check out where we have to park the longest. It's pretty impossible for a young child not to yearn for that stuff. Wish I didn't have to expose her to that when I'm picking up my spinach.

THAT right there is a bubble! My parents didn't let us have candy and the moment I had money and a bit of freedom I spent every penny I had on candy. It got worse when I got a job and could drive because suddenly I could get fast food.

I predict she will either start sneaking it behind your back or she will suffer from orthorexia by the time she's 12.

RHachicho why do you keep editing your responses after posting? I can't keep up with your revisions.

Yeah it's a bad habit. Sometimes I post and then I think of a better way to explain my point and so edit. I do it a lot and I do apologize for that. In all fairness though I don't change my point I just explain it better. However you would probably have an easier time of it if you actually took the time to read my posts thoroughly rather than scanning them finding something you don't like and replying immediately.

Well, I'm sorry if my words were too harsh, my answers were too quick and you felt undervalued.

That wasn't my point ....

And for those that are talking about "parental responsibility" and don't have kids, STFU.

No

Sorry but having kids doesn't make you a special snowflake and automatically immune to criticism

Honestly the fact that you would even pull that card is kinda pathetic.

It's pathetic when someone who has NO IDEA on the difficulties of raising a child in this world, blames everything on only one factor - parents and not the environmental impact of the world around. Kids spend 8 hours a day in a school with public education (provided by government), eat in school cafeterias, see billboard after billboard in transport or in stores... but of course, it's absolutely 100% parental responsibility for the impact and education that these children receive -- especially about food.

And that's the cop out parents have used to get out of everything.

Sorry don't care about your sob story. Oh and If you read up I said PERSONAL AND PARENTAL responsibility.

Also I even said that it's not really the parents fault a lot of the time. Sometimes it is though.

And no you can't monitor everything. But you can't expect to control everything. I never made any assumptions like that. You have just decided to attack me because I mentioned that parental responsibility is a problem in many cases .. and it is.

You are just appealing to parenthood to get out of the fact that your argument on sugar stinks and it's not worth wasting any more time on you.

I didn't give you a sob story and you went from saying "The obvious culprit. And the one we want to ignore because we know it is the source.

Personal and Parental responsibility. " to "sometimes" and "You can't monitor....control everything". I see my point sank in.

When you are trying to shuffle your 4 year old through the grocery store and they are wailing for some junk they see at the counter that you have no intention of feeding them but it's there, it will even more.

Sounds like someone needs to woman up and say no to her kid more often. My 3 year old even knows that we don't buy all the snacks she would like. She doesn't even ask for them. Who the frak cares if your kid is wailing for snacks. It doesn't mean you have to get them. My 3 year old get to pick out a cereal and a snack and as many fruits and vegetables as she wants. She is still one of the healthiest and smallest kid in her class. Children need to learn balance and moderation from a young age. When that happens then the sparkly packaging and wonderous advertisements won't be so enticing. Either that or my little one is a special snowflake and I'm a perfect mom.

And my kid can say the alphabet backwards and yours can't so you need to learn to teach her better? C'mon!! If you're trying to compare how great and well-behaved your kid is to mine, please don't. You have no clue how I parent my child.

And for those that are talking about "parental responsibility" and don't have kids, STFU.

No

Sorry but having kids doesn't make you a special snowflake and automatically immune to criticism

Honestly the fact that you would even pull that card is kinda pathetic.

It's pathetic when someone who has NO IDEA on the difficulties of raising a child in this world, blames everything on only one factor - parents and not the environmental impact of the world around. Kids spend 8 hours a day in a school with public education (provided by government), eat in school cafeterias, see billboard after billboard in transport or in stores... but of course, it's absolutely 100% parental responsibility for the impact and education that these children receive -- especially about food.

And that's the cop out parents have used to get out of everything.

Sorry don't care about your sob story. Oh and If you read up I said PERSONAL AND PARENTAL responsibility.

Also I even said that it's not really the parents fault a lot of the time. Sometimes it is though.

And no you can't monitor everything. But you can't expect to control everything. I never made any assumptions like that. You have just decided to attack me because I mentioned that parental responsibility is a problem in many cases .. and it is.

You are just appealing to parenthood to get out of the fact that your argument on sugar stinks and it's not worth wasting any more time on you.

I didn't give you a sob story and you went from saying "The obvious culprit. And the one we want to ignore because we know it is the source.

Personal and Parental responsibility. " to "sometimes" and "You can't monitor....control everything". I see my point sank in.

When you are trying to shuffle your 4 year old through the grocery store and they are wailing for some junk they see at the counter that you have no intention of feeding them but it's there, it will even more.

Sounds like someone needs to woman up and say no to her kid more often. My 3 year old even knows that we don't buy all the snacks she would like. She doesn't even ask for them. Who the frak cares if your kid is wailing for snacks. It doesn't mean you have to get them. My 3 year old get to pick out a cereal and a snack and as many fruits and vegetables as she wants. She is still one of the healthiest and smallest kid in her class. Children need to learn balance and moderation from a young age. When that happens then the sparkly packaging and wonderous advertisements won't be so enticing. Either that or my little one is a special snowflake and I'm a perfect mom.

And my kid can say the alphabet backwards and yours can't so you need to learn to teach her better? C'mon!! If you're trying to compare how great and well-behaved your kid is to mine, please don't. You have no clue how I parent my child.

Oh so now it's you have no clue how I parent my particular child ...

Lady you're fun.

I've done enough research on sugar to only form some questions. Most of the debate I see in this thread is a blame game for obesity, whether that finger is pointed to personal responsibility or subjective. What I haven't seen is any talk about the fact that we, as humans, actually are more like the colony exhibited by the man-o-war. In our digestive tract, we have living organisms that without which, we would not even be able to receive nutrients from food. Some of my research (sorry no citations) has given a figure necessary of 80% "good" bacteria and 20% "bad" bacteria for our digestive tract to function properly. All of these bacteria have foods that they favor. The suggestions I've read seem to imply that the aforementioned bacteria may indeed even effect our own cravings, to the point that their cravings become our cravings.

Now, I agree it's really a matter of physics and not eating more than TDEE to not gain, and eating less to lose, but is it possible that an inbalance in many obese people's digestive tract make them feel hungry and desire foods that are calorie dense, more than they should? That sugar is a culprit, but not because it doesn't meet a macronutrient requirement?

The topic's documentary certainly angles from a polemicist's bias and tries to point the finger, as it were, but I at least applaud the scientific desire for truth in it's scope

And for those that are talking about "parental responsibility" and don't have kids, STFU.

No

Sorry but having kids doesn't make you a special snowflake and automatically immune to criticism

Honestly the fact that you would even pull that card is kinda pathetic.

It's pathetic when someone who has NO IDEA on the difficulties of raising a child in this world, blames everything on only one factor - parents and not the environmental impact of the world around. Kids spend 8 hours a day in a school with public education (provided by government), eat in school cafeterias, see billboard after billboard in transport or in stores... but of course, it's absolutely 100% parental responsibility for the impact and education that these children receive -- especially about food.

And that's the cop out parents have used to get out of everything.

Sorry don't care about your sob story. Oh and If you read up I said PERSONAL AND PARENTAL responsibility.

Also I even said that it's not really the parents fault a lot of the time. Sometimes it is though.

And no you can't monitor everything. But you can't expect to control everything. I never made any assumptions like that. You have just decided to attack me because I mentioned that parental responsibility is a problem in many cases .. and it is.

You are just appealing to parenthood to get out of the fact that your argument on sugar stinks and it's not worth wasting any more time on you.

I didn't give you a sob story and you went from saying "The obvious culprit. And the one we want to ignore because we know it is the source.

Personal and Parental responsibility. " to "sometimes" and "You can't monitor....control everything". I see my point sank in.

When you are trying to shuffle your 4 year old through the grocery store and they are wailing for some junk they see at the counter that you have no intention of feeding them but it's there, it will even more.

I take responsibility for my kids. If you don't then you are the problem. My 4 year old does pretty well in grocery stores. She knows what she's allowed, which does include sweets, and funny enough her pediatrician is absolutely amazed at how fit (strong) both our daughters are. It's you, not the industry and sugar. Take responsibility.

Wait until your kids are teenagers and those perfect parent/ perfect child living in a bubble ideals roll away. Great parents can still end of with kids who make bad choices -- why? because they have other sources of influence their whole lives. You may set a good foundation but they will eventually make friends, have boyfriends/girlfriends, read books...

That's what failures say about everything. It's not my fault. I can't control. Of course you don't have 100% control, but the absolute most important influence on any child is his/her parents, and if you're already making excuses with a 4 year old, all I can say is best of luck.

Not an excuse but I can say that my 4 year old is not a robot isolated in a bubble, with a personality that only I can control. A child's will is not simply built by parent.

No it's not. They're intelligent and I treat mine as future adults who can take responsibility for their actions, and learn about nutrition, athletics, and excel academically all at the same time. Set expectations high and encourage. It works. Or make excuses and blame the world around you for your children's problems.

Of course, encouragement is amazing and can really help a child grow and do well. The reality is though, great children and great parents will still have to face failures, mistakes, wrong decision making. Ideally, our children would be perfect and have a perfect environment. Poor people would easily climb social ladders through achievement on their own merits, hard workers would make the most money, the nicest would have the best relationships... etc.

Yea, it's all futile, life is unfair, give up now . . .

Of course life has challenges, so it's better to teach your child how to face and overcome them successfully. Believe it or not life skills can be taught, but you have to do more than throw your hands in the air and complain.

Yes, I agree that you give every effort for your child to survive and thrive. Doesn't mean I give up on things like criticizing the food industry for the impact they have on us, our food choices, our health. My family is ultra important and that's why social justice and accountability to those that have an impact on our health environment means that much more.

So now, is your fault or the industry's that your child can't behave in a grocery aisle? I just want to be clear here.

And for those that are talking about "parental responsibility" and don't have kids, STFU.

No

Sorry but having kids doesn't make you a special snowflake and automatically immune to criticism

Honestly the fact that you would even pull that card is kinda pathetic.

It's pathetic when someone who has NO IDEA on the difficulties of raising a child in this world, blames everything on only one factor - parents and not the environmental impact of the world around. Kids spend 8 hours a day in a school with public education (provided by government), eat in school cafeterias, see billboard after billboard in transport or in stores... but of course, it's absolutely 100% parental responsibility for the impact and education that these children receive -- especially about food.

And that's the cop out parents have used to get out of everything.

Sorry don't care about your sob story. Oh and If you read up I said PERSONAL AND PARENTAL responsibility.

Also I even said that it's not really the parents fault a lot of the time. Sometimes it is though.

And no you can't monitor everything. But you can't expect to control everything. I never made any assumptions like that. You have just decided to attack me because I mentioned that parental responsibility is a problem in many cases .. and it is.

You are just appealing to parenthood to get out of the fact that your argument on sugar stinks and it's not worth wasting any more time on you.

I didn't give you a sob story and you went from saying "The obvious culprit. And the one we want to ignore because we know it is the source.

Personal and Parental responsibility. " to "sometimes" and "You can't monitor....control everything". I see my point sank in.

When you are trying to shuffle your 4 year old through the grocery store and they are wailing for some junk they see at the counter that you have no intention of feeding them but it's there, it will even more.

Sounds like someone needs to woman up and say no to her kid more often. My 3 year old even knows that we don't buy all the snacks she would like. She doesn't even ask for them. Who the frak cares if your kid is wailing for snacks. It doesn't mean you have to get them. My 3 year old get to pick out a cereal and a snack and as many fruits and vegetables as she wants. She is still one of the healthiest and smallest kid in her class. Children need to learn balance and moderation from a young age. When that happens then the sparkly packaging and wonderous advertisements won't be so enticing. Either that or my little one is a special snowflake and I'm a perfect mom.

And my kid can say the alphabet backwards and yours can't so you need to learn to teach her better? C'mon!! If you're trying to compare how great and well-behaved your kid is to mine, please don't. You have no clue how I parent my child.

Oh so now it's you have no clue how I parent my particular child ...

Lady you're fun.

What do you expect? You just told me to "woman up" and judged me because I most certainly must not say "no" so that's why my child desires candy at the counter because you've got a child that doesn't? You just implied my parenting style is "yes" to whatever she desires and that created that behavior. That's not how this household runs and I'm appalled that another parent assumes that.

And for those that are talking about "parental responsibility" and don't have kids, STFU.

No

Sorry but having kids doesn't make you a special snowflake and automatically immune to criticism

Honestly the fact that you would even pull that card is kinda pathetic.

It's pathetic when someone who has NO IDEA on the difficulties of raising a child in this world, blames everything on only one factor - parents and not the environmental impact of the world around. Kids spend 8 hours a day in a school with public education (provided by government), eat in school cafeterias, see billboard after billboard in transport or in stores... but of course, it's absolutely 100% parental responsibility for the impact and education that these children receive -- especially about food.

And that's the cop out parents have used to get out of everything.

Sorry don't care about your sob story. Oh and If you read up I said PERSONAL AND PARENTAL responsibility.

Also I even said that it's not really the parents fault a lot of the time. Sometimes it is though.

And no you can't monitor everything. But you can't expect to control everything. I never made any assumptions like that. You have just decided to attack me because I mentioned that parental responsibility is a problem in many cases .. and it is.

You are just appealing to parenthood to get out of the fact that your argument on sugar stinks and it's not worth wasting any more time on you.

I didn't give you a sob story and you went from saying "The obvious culprit. And the one we want to ignore because we know it is the source.

Personal and Parental responsibility. " to "sometimes" and "You can't monitor....control everything". I see my point sank in.

When you are trying to shuffle your 4 year old through the grocery store and they are wailing for some junk they see at the counter that you have no intention of feeding them but it's there, it will even more.

Sounds like someone needs to woman up and say no to her kid more often. My 3 year old even knows that we don't buy all the snacks she would like. She doesn't even ask for them. Who the frak cares if your kid is wailing for snacks. It doesn't mean you have to get them. My 3 year old get to pick out a cereal and a snack and as many fruits and vegetables as she wants. She is still one of the healthiest and smallest kid in her class. Children need to learn balance and moderation from a young age. When that happens then the sparkly packaging and wonderous advertisements won't be so enticing. Either that or my little one is a special snowflake and I'm a perfect mom.

And my kid can say the alphabet backwards and yours can't so you need to learn to teach her better? C'mon!! If you're trying to compare how great and well-behaved your kid is to mine, please don't. You have no clue how I parent my child.

Oh so now it's you have no clue how I parent my particular child ...

Lady you're fun.

What do you expect? You just told me to "woman up" and judged me because I most certainly must not say "no" so that's why my child desires candy at the counter because you've got a child that doesn't? You just implied my parenting style is "yes" to whatever she desires and that created that behavior. That's not how this household runs and I'm appalled that another parent assumes that.

But That wasn't even my post .... why are you telling me?

It's getting pretty obvious at this point that you are just finding reasons to ignore opinions you don't like.

And for those that are talking about "parental responsibility" and don't have kids, STFU.

No

Sorry but having kids doesn't make you a special snowflake and automatically immune to criticism

Honestly the fact that you would even pull that card is kinda pathetic.

It's pathetic when someone who has NO IDEA on the difficulties of raising a child in this world, blames everything on only one factor - parents and not the environmental impact of the world around. Kids spend 8 hours a day in a school with public education (provided by government), eat in school cafeterias, see billboard after billboard in transport or in stores... but of course, it's absolutely 100% parental responsibility for the impact and education that these children receive -- especially about food.

And that's the cop out parents have used to get out of everything.

Sorry don't care about your sob story. Oh and If you read up I said PERSONAL AND PARENTAL responsibility.

Also I even said that it's not really the parents fault a lot of the time. Sometimes it is though.

And no you can't monitor everything. But you can't expect to control everything. I never made any assumptions like that. You have just decided to attack me because I mentioned that parental responsibility is a problem in many cases .. and it is.

You are just appealing to parenthood to get out of the fact that your argument on sugar stinks and it's not worth wasting any more time on you.

I didn't give you a sob story and you went from saying "The obvious culprit. And the one we want to ignore because we know it is the source.

Personal and Parental responsibility. " to "sometimes" and "You can't monitor....control everything". I see my point sank in.

When you are trying to shuffle your 4 year old through the grocery store and they are wailing for some junk they see at the counter that you have no intention of feeding them but it's there, it will even more.

Sounds like someone needs to woman up and say no to her kid more often. My 3 year old even knows that we don't buy all the snacks she would like. She doesn't even ask for them. Who the frak cares if your kid is wailing for snacks. It doesn't mean you have to get them. My 3 year old get to pick out a cereal and a snack and as many fruits and vegetables as she wants. She is still one of the healthiest and smallest kid in her class. Children need to learn balance and moderation from a young age. When that happens then the sparkly packaging and wonderous advertisements won't be so enticing. Either that or my little one is a special snowflake and I'm a perfect mom.

And my kid can say the alphabet backwards and yours can't so you need to learn to teach her better? C'mon!! If you're trying to compare how great and well-behaved your kid is to mine, please don't. You have no clue how I parent my child.

Oh so now it's you have no clue how I parent my particular child ...

Lady you're fun.

What do you expect? You just told me to "woman up" and judged me because I most certainly must not say "no" so that's why my child desires candy at the counter because you've got a child that doesn't? You just implied my parenting style is "yes" to whatever she desires and that created that behavior. That's not how this household runs and I'm appalled that another parent assumes that.

But That wasn't even my post .... why are you telling me?

It's getting pretty obvious at this point that you are just finding reasons to ignore opinions you don't like.

I wasn't responding to you RH.. what question did you pose that I ignored?

And for those that are talking about "parental responsibility" and don't have kids, STFU.

No

Sorry but having kids doesn't make you a special snowflake and automatically immune to criticism

Honestly the fact that you would even pull that card is kinda pathetic.

It's pathetic when someone who has NO IDEA on the difficulties of raising a child in this world, blames everything on only one factor - parents and not the environmental impact of the world around. Kids spend 8 hours a day in a school with public education (provided by government), eat in school cafeterias, see billboard after billboard in transport or in stores... but of course, it's absolutely 100% parental responsibility for the impact and education that these children receive -- especially about food.

And that's the cop out parents have used to get out of everything.

Sorry don't care about your sob story. Oh and If you read up I said PERSONAL AND PARENTAL responsibility.

Also I even said that it's not really the parents fault a lot of the time. Sometimes it is though.

And no you can't monitor everything. But you can't expect to control everything. I never made any assumptions like that. You have just decided to attack me because I mentioned that parental responsibility is a problem in many cases .. and it is.

You are just appealing to parenthood to get out of the fact that your argument on sugar stinks and it's not worth wasting any more time on you.

I didn't give you a sob story and you went from saying "The obvious culprit. And the one we want to ignore because we know it is the source.

Personal and Parental responsibility. " to "sometimes" and "You can't monitor....control everything". I see my point sank in.

When you are trying to shuffle your 4 year old through the grocery store and they are wailing for some junk they see at the counter that you have no intention of feeding them but it's there, it will even more.

Sounds like someone needs to woman up and say no to her kid more often. My 3 year old even knows that we don't buy all the snacks she would like. She doesn't even ask for them. Who the frak cares if your kid is wailing for snacks. It doesn't mean you have to get them. My 3 year old get to pick out a cereal and a snack and as many fruits and vegetables as she wants. She is still one of the healthiest and smallest kid in her class. Children need to learn balance and moderation from a young age. When that happens then the sparkly packaging and wonderous advertisements won't be so enticing. Either that or my little one is a special snowflake and I'm a perfect mom.

And my kid can say the alphabet backwards and yours can't so you need to learn to teach her better? C'mon!! If you're trying to compare how great and well-behaved your kid is to mine, please don't. You have no clue how I parent my child.

Oh so now it's you have no clue how I parent my particular child ...

Lady you're fun.

What do you expect? You just told me to "woman up" and judged me because I most certainly must not say "no" so that's why my child desires candy at the counter because you've got a child that doesn't? You just implied my parenting style is "yes" to whatever she desires and that created that behavior. That's not how this household runs and I'm appalled that another parent assumes that.

But That wasn't even my post .... why are you telling me?

It's getting pretty obvious at this point that you are just finding reasons to ignore opinions you don't like.

I wasn't responding to you RH.. what question did you pose that I ignored?

No .. it's cool I can see you are getting confused with all these quote chains and stuff interweaving so I'm just gonna remove myself. I've stated my opinion pretty damn clearly. Anything else would just be a repeat. it's not that you didn't reply to one of my questions. But you replied to an observation I made about someone else's point as if i had said it and that in turn confused me.

So hopefully once im out there will be less confusion.

And for those that are talking about "parental responsibility" and don't have kids, STFU.

No

Sorry but having kids doesn't make you a special snowflake and automatically immune to criticism

Honestly the fact that you would even pull that card is kinda pathetic.

It's pathetic when someone who has NO IDEA on the difficulties of raising a child in this world, blames everything on only one factor - parents and not the environmental impact of the world around. Kids spend 8 hours a day in a school with public education (provided by government), eat in school cafeterias, see billboard after billboard in transport or in stores... but of course, it's absolutely 100% parental responsibility for the impact and education that these children receive -- especially about food.

And that's the cop out parents have used to get out of everything.

Sorry don't care about your sob story. Oh and If you read up I said PERSONAL AND PARENTAL responsibility.

Also I even said that it's not really the parents fault a lot of the time. Sometimes it is though.

And no you can't monitor everything. But you can't expect to control everything. I never made any assumptions like that. You have just decided to attack me because I mentioned that parental responsibility is a problem in many cases .. and it is.

You are just appealing to parenthood to get out of the fact that your argument on sugar stinks and it's not worth wasting any more time on you.

I didn't give you a sob story and you went from saying "The obvious culprit. And the one we want to ignore because we know it is the source.

Personal and Parental responsibility. " to "sometimes" and "You can't monitor....control everything". I see my point sank in.

When you are trying to shuffle your 4 year old through the grocery store and they are wailing for some junk they see at the counter that you have no intention of feeding them but it's there, it will even more.

Sounds like someone needs to woman up and say no to her kid more often. My 3 year old even knows that we don't buy all the snacks she would like. She doesn't even ask for them. Who the frak cares if your kid is wailing for snacks. It doesn't mean you have to get them. My 3 year old get to pick out a cereal and a snack and as many fruits and vegetables as she wants. She is still one of the healthiest and smallest kid in her class. Children need to learn balance and moderation from a young age. When that happens then the sparkly packaging and wonderous advertisements won't be so enticing. Either that or my little one is a special snowflake and I'm a perfect mom.

And my kid can say the alphabet backwards and yours can't so you need to learn to teach her better? C'mon!! If you're trying to compare how great and well-behaved your kid is to mine, please don't. You have no clue how I parent my child.

Yes, but he's allowed to say it and give an opinion because he's a parent. Right? Or am I wrong? Have the rules changed?

Because honestly, what are you arguing here? That because grocery stores have an impulse fixture at their registers and your kid screams for sugar that the government needs to step in and regulate everything?

I've raised three kids and not one of them have screamed for candy at the register. So do I win because I've raised three kids past the teenage years and they're healthy and happy and yet they're still allowed to eat sugar?

I'm very confused.....

It's been a long conversation so it's no wonder you're confused.

My point is and has always been a response so someone who said that it is all about our own will and choice in terms of our success. You put it in your mouth, you did it and that's it. I responded that I believe the food industry is culpable to a large degree about what we have been eating, what we believe is healthy and that information that is pertinent to our health -- like how bad sugar is for you has been oppressed.

The conversation has digressed a lot -- but points have been made about environment, parental control, personal control and I continue to point out that environment makes a huge impact on our choices whether we like it or not. Doesn't matter how educated we want to be, when information is withheld, we are not informed. When food industry withholds it for its own profit taking, it's criminal. Obviously, my opinion. As a sociology major, parent, foster parent (worked with kids who have had lots of needs deprived), and someone who has struggled with food addiction my whole life, I feel as if we can do better and hold industry to better standards, rather than put the emphasis simply on personal control. Yes, I am better informed in my 40s than I was in my 20s but I certainly don't expect a 12 year old to be. I don't expect that single mom holding down 2 jobs to keep up with it all and I'm pretty confident most are trying their very best.

If my child wasn't surrounded by candy, she wouldn't want it. It's quite well known that grocery items are strategically placed to incite desire. Have you been to a grocery counter that didn't have a pack of gum at arms reach? Do you think they see more or less gum sales from people because they are easy to pick up while you are waiting in line? Do I think that the average person waiting for gum spends time reading the ingredients, analyzing it's negative/positive health benefits or do the marketing people know that we are impulse buyers and our kids will want the candy?

And there it is. The bubble of irresponsible parenting

She really just doesn't understand that sheltering her child from candy is putting them in a bubble. She has ignored multiple comments from me (a single mom) stating that I was sheltered and I went wild when I finally had freedom.

Sometimes my kids ask if they can have candy when we are near the check out. I usually tell them no. Sometimes we have other treats they've picked out. I do let them pick from time to time and have never had to deal with a tantrum when I said no.

Didn't see your comment, couldn't keep up...

Look, that's your choice... expose your kids and then they'll be conditioned to self control? I'm more likely to say... there is a garbage can over there. You don't need to open it to know it's garbage. I'll just point and say, don't open that it's yucky. I'm glad you've got your tactics for handling grocery store lineups. I have mine but it doesn't stop and immature child from wanting, asking. Plus, you know that every kid is unique. let's not compare parenting techniques..

What do you expect? You just told me to "woman up" and judged me because I most certainly must not say "no" so that's why my child desires candy at the counter because you've got a child that doesn't? You just implied my parenting style is "yes" to whatever she desires and that created that behavior. That's not how this household runs and I'm appalled that another parent assumes that.

Yes I did say that. Because obviously you would rather blame stores and their strategically placed candy for your child's outbursts than to teach them some self control. Now unless your kid has some sensory processing disorder, kids at the ages of 3 or 4 can reason that they don't always get candy and to not have fits about it. But then I am starting to think my child really is a special snowflake.

It's been a long conversation so it's no wonder you're confused.

My point is and has always been a response so someone who said that it is all about our own will and choice in terms of our success. You put it in your mouth, you did it and that's it. I responded that I believe the food industry is culpable to a large degree about what we have been eating, what we believe is healthy and that information that is pertinent to our health -- like how bad sugar is for you has been oppressed.

The conversation has digressed a lot -- but points have been made about environment, parental control, personal control and I continue to point out that environment makes a huge impact on our choices whether we like it or not. Doesn't matter how educated we want to be, when information is withheld, we are not informed. When food industry withholds it for its own profit taking, it's criminal. Obviously, my opinion. As a sociology major, parent, foster parent (worked with kids who have had lots of needs deprived), and someone who has struggled with food addiction my whole life, I feel as if we can do better and hold industry to better standards, rather than put the emphasis simply on personal control. Yes, I am better informed in my 40s than I was in my 20s but I certainly don't expect a 12 year old to be. I don't expect that single mom holding down 2 jobs to keep up with it all and I'm pretty confident most are trying their very best.

I'm a single mom with two jobs. One of my sons is on the autism spectrum. I'm also a competitive bodybuilder and powerlifter.

I'd love to see your food diary. You should make it public. MIne is public.

I prefer to keep my private diary private but I'll share the general details. I was on a calorie restricted diet many times over and it never worked -- I failed and hungered. More recently, I've switched to a ketogenic diet and the weight is coming off effortlessly. I rarely feel like hungry, my mind is sharp, and I don't fatigue on my endurance exercise anymore. My diary tends to include limited carbs, and what does comes from leafy greens and cruciferous veges, moderate proteing 1.5-2.5 gm per KG of lean body mass, and the rest coming from fats - mostly from animal sources, coconut oil, and butter. About 1600 calories per day roughly.

Not an excuse but I can say that my 4 year old is not a robot isolated in a bubble, with a personality that only I can control. A child's will is not simply built by parent.

Except that you freak out when she wants a treat in the grocery store. Sounds like a bubble to me.

Why do you assume I freak out? I rarely even raise my voice to her.