What if she's right?

My mum is 5' and I'm 5'9" and yet she said to me a few years ago "you need to watch your weight, you weigh more than me now". Yes ... thank you mum, my BMI is alot lower than yours though ...

My dad is one of 11 siblings. 9 of the 11 have type 2 diabetes, heart disease and are big. Why? Genetic predisposition? Yes. 60 years of poor diet and little exercise? Definitely. My sister had a heart attack and died 2 years ago at 37. She was a really big girl. She was also intellectually handicapped, and everyone thought it was best to just let her stuff her face for 37 years because it made her happy.

We all got family baggage. We can continue the pattern based on behaviours and attitudes we've learned from them, or we can be responsible for our own outcomes. Pretty simple really. I am not prepared to be on deaths door at 60 due to ill health and blame it on genetics. No matter what ****ty genetic card you got dealt, you will still have a better quality of life if you eat well and live well.

She's so wrong. Your genetics are what they are. You might have a genetic predisposition to something like obesity, but that doesn't mean that it's inevitable. My siblings and I are great examples of this. Our father had diabetes, which means that each of his three kids have a predisposition. Only one of us has developed diabetes -- the sister who doesn't worry about diet or exercise. It's only a self-fulfilling prophecy if YOU decide it will be. Don't let her bring you down.

My Mom used to be very thin before she had kids. She had a beautiful figure. She had children and must have decided to give up because she refuses to exercise and eats way too much and looks kind of terrible. I feel awful saying that, but it's true. It scares me for my future.
Two summers ago, I was taking an early morning beach bootcamp with a friend and was taking it very seriously. My mom asked me why I bothered because I am just going to end up looking like her anyway.

She also talks about how she and I are the same size (we aren't even close in size. At least 3 sizes apart). She is constantly trying to get me to go in her closet and find something else to wear.

It really hurts my self esteem, but in the back of my mind I'm wondering..what if she's right?

What if I am doing all this work for nothing, just to end up looking like her?

News flash! Your mother is WRONG!

Don't let that negative nelly into your head.

Taking care of yourself is something you do to stay healthy. It is something you do for you and nobody else. You don't want the diseases that come with being overweight.

Guess what else? You are worth every ounce of effort you put into it, AND THEN SOME.

Don't let your mother dictate who you are and who you want to become. You are your own boss.

your mom is jealous of your hard work and KNOWS that you will end up NOT looking like her and that scares her. be supportive of her, try to get her to exercise or go to the bootcamps with you if you go. moms are just little girls at heart. (trust me, i am one)

OK my mum has 4 children we are same height and before children were both tiny she went on to have 4 children in 3 pregnancies( my sis and I twins) well I have 3 hers were small babies mine were huge she had us at 34 I had my last at 28 and im done my smallest baby weighed almost 1lb more than her biggest she ended up 14-16 (uk) im 10-12(uk) she yo-yoed and smoked I don't yo yo or smoke so yes genetics are part of it but your lifestyle foods etc are different they do factor in, what if you do end up the same size but shes got a higher body fat percentage you wont look the same size you m8ight weigh the same. What if by taking on a healthy lifestyle your way means you wont? if it was me id want to be the healthiest me I could be regardless of size genetics etc and so that mindset is different to your mums what you got to lose other than proving your healthier?

She could be right if you choose like her and decide to let yourself go after having children. Don't let her be right.

Well, you control your own destiny. You are in charge of how much you eat and if you exercise. You said that your mom stopped exercising and ate poorly. Don't do those things.

This.

Genetics are only part of the equation. The person I am genetically most like in my family is my paternal grandmother. I got so much from her - my looks, height, large frame, big feet, etc. I am most like her. Except that she was morbidly obese. She had diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol. She had 2 heart attacks and a stroke before she died; after the first heart attack she lost 100 pounds and was still obese. In my whole life, I don't ever remember seeing her standing upright - she would get up from the recliner and shuffle to the door, hunched over, when we came to visit, and then hobble back and sit again. In fact, I had no idea she was tall until I was in my 20's and asked my mother where I got my height from.

In contrast, I'm a size 2. I'm fit and healthy and I've pretty much always been. She had 4 kids, but I had 3 and the 3rd was just last year, at age 40. I live a healthy lifestyle that includes regular exercise and a well-rounded diet. Over the years people have asked me why I bother to eat right and work out since I'm already thin (that's a rant for another day). Besides all of the obvious answers about health, I'm well aware that genetically, I could have ended up like my grandmother. I choose not to.

Don't listen to your mother. You are what you choose to be in terms of your health and fitness. No one is locked into a future of obesity just because another family member struggles with it.

If she's right, then you must be insane. Either you two wear the same size or you don't. She says you do, but you insist that you don't. So, one of you is off your rocker.

But even if you're the nutty one, you can still lose weight.

I love this reply! So true and :laugh:

She's not right and you know it so stop using letting her mind games get to you. If it was my mother, I'd tell her that straight up and probably even prove it by putting on her clothes and showing how they were too big for me. I don't let my Mom get away with BS like that.