Goodbye Pepperidge Farm
desweds
Posts: 126 Member
Goodbye Pepperidge Farm Double Nantucket Dark Chocolate Crispy cookies. Oh baby, you know you're tasty - and we've sure had fun over the years - but I've moved past you. Don't get me wrong - this morning was fun, especially with that sexy Creamy Jif making our threesome - but after it was done you just laid there, just all heavy and oily and overly sugary, and you left me feeling stuffed but unfulfilled.
Look. I was weak. I was driven by memory, not where I am now. I just hadn't seen you for a while and I thought we could maybe get back together in a moderate, adult way. I thought we could sit on the sofa and just have a little pecking. But no. Like always we went all the way. I was wrong - you and I were always a toxic mix. I guess I needed our quick toss in the kitchen this morning for me to truly - pardon the pun - digest that.
Sorry. That was cruel. Please don't get upset. You know there are zillions of folks out there who crave you. You'll find another, but just not me. So yeah, you really need to go - I'm going for a run and I don't want you here when I get back. Do you mind sharing a cab with Jif? Thanks. All the best.
Look. I was weak. I was driven by memory, not where I am now. I just hadn't seen you for a while and I thought we could maybe get back together in a moderate, adult way. I thought we could sit on the sofa and just have a little pecking. But no. Like always we went all the way. I was wrong - you and I were always a toxic mix. I guess I needed our quick toss in the kitchen this morning for me to truly - pardon the pun - digest that.
Sorry. That was cruel. Please don't get upset. You know there are zillions of folks out there who crave you. You'll find another, but just not me. So yeah, you really need to go - I'm going for a run and I don't want you here when I get back. Do you mind sharing a cab with Jif? Thanks. All the best.
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Replies
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:laugh: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:0
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LMAO! That was hilarious... well done!0
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You've earned 27 awesome points.0
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Lovely sense of humor!
But what I great idea to invent something so funny and part ways with junk food. Maybe we should all write letters0 -
Haha! Love your post. Great laugh and honestly I have had to ‘break it off’ with several food items. Just tell Pepperidge Farm Cookie ‘It’s not you, it’s me’. lol :flowerforyou:0
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You just provided me with a much needed smile! Thank you!0
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This was great. I hope you find a special someone who is more appropriate very soon!0
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:laugh:0
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Well done0
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That was magnificent. I am inspired.
...I think I'd better go have a talk with Ben and Jerry.2 -
Whew!!!! I thought the company was closing down.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition1 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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Nice!! LOL
Honestly, I usually hate posts like that, all clever puns and trickery...but you, sir, did it WELL!0 -
Whew!!!! I thought the company was closing down.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yeah, me too, I was fearing the end of Milano cookies and Goldfish crackers as we know it!
OP, I hope you at least paid for the cab! :-)0 -
LOVE this!!! :laugh:0
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:laugh:
thanks for the laugh today.0 -
Goodbye Pepperidge Farm Double Nantucket Dark Chocolate Crispy cookies. Oh baby, you know you're tasty - and we've sure had fun over the years - but I've moved past you. Don't get me wrong - this morning was fun, especially with that sexy Creamy Jif making our threesome - but after it was done you just laid there, just all heavy and oily and overly sugary, and you left me feeling stuffed but unfulfilled.
Look. I was weak. I was driven by memory, not where I am now. I just hadn't seen you for a while and I thought we could maybe get back together in a moderate, adult way. I thought we could sit on the sofa and just have a little pecking. But no. Like always we went all the way. I was wrong - you and I were always a toxic mix. I guess I needed our quick toss in the kitchen this morning for me to truly - pardon the pun - digest that.
Sorry. That was cruel. Please don't get upset. You know there are zillions of folks out there who crave you. You'll find another, but just not me. So yeah, you really need to go - I'm going for a run and I don't want you here when I get back. Do you mind sharing a cab with Jif? Thanks. All the best.
you owe me a new key board I just spit water all over it!!! LOL well done....0 -
I love your post!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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I really hate when I go to indulge in what used to be one of my favorite things, only to find out I don't like nearly as much anymore.0
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If those cookies need a rebound....send em my way!0
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Love it!0
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So awesome.0
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Great post. :laugh:0
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HA HA LOVE IT!!!0
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Okay now this just brought an actual grin to my face. Excellent post and an extremely well written "Dear John" letter!
Keep up the excellent work! It is things like this that bring some humor and make the journey towards weight loss fun!0 -
goldfish crackers make these flavored graham goldfish now, and a serving is like a million cookies and they come in chocolate. they are great because you get to take a million bites at like 140 calories or something...
i never buy regular cookies anymore because one serving is only like three bites and then it is like a teaser...
(fyi, a million is hyperbole... i forget the number but its a pile)0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :drinker:0
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Awesome, lol.0
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At 140 calories each, couldn't you have just seen less of her / them / whatever?
I'm just surprised that on page 2, no one has suggested 'moderation,' yet.0
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