Is excess skin removal surgery selfish?

13

Replies

  • radmack
    radmack Posts: 272 Member
    Not selfish to want to have skin removed. Also - think of the savings from not eating as much. It probably adds up a little each week to a decent total by the end of the year.
  • slimbettie
    slimbettie Posts: 686 Member
    When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.

    I would be VERY, VERY cautious of where you go to get surgery done outside of the U.S., especially plastic surgery. Remember, you get what you pay for.


    Oh yeah, because plastic surgery has only just reached the rest of the world, right now we're just cutting people open on the kitchen table and sticking them back together with duct tape.
    Ignorant.

    Bahahahaha. I live in South Africa and I know a lot of overseas people come here to get top notch plastic surgery at a fraction of the cost compared to the UK and US.
  • littlelaura
    littlelaura Posts: 1,028 Member
    If I ever have excess skin, I will absolutely have it removed. I don't think its selfish at all. A healthy and happy you is more able to love and give to others. Excess skin would make me just as self conscious as being over weight had. I hope in time insurance starts paying for some of these, granted in hindsight we should not of gained weight in the first place but it happened. If your strong enough to take the action to reverse this, then insurance should also take into account your emotional health and that no person should have to live this way. It is a matter of health, your own feelings about yourself impact your health more than anything else you do.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
    it would be worth it.
  • georgiaTRIs
    georgiaTRIs Posts: 229 Member
    You have done an awesome job maintaining!!! If the surgery is the last step you need to feel go and the doctors approve, go for it. Conversation with family will give you the added support.
  • 1stplace_meeh
    1stplace_meeh Posts: 1 Member
    I will actually be having the excess skin removed from my stomach once I reach my goal. My doctor has told me that after 3 children, there is no way the skin will revert back no matter how much Yoga and Pilates I try to do. Yoga and Pilates work for some, but my genetics are different and I will have to have the skin removed surgically.

    I am kicking butt right now losing this weight, and I, like you, want to like what I see in the mirror. I WILL be getting the surgery and we are saving up for it now!

    Good luck to you and keep your head up!
  • BarbieAS
    BarbieAS Posts: 1,414 Member
    2. Is it worth it to take out a loan to have the procedure done?
    Please consider this carefully. I (and any responsible financial advisor) would tell you that if you have to take out a loan for something like this, that means you really can't afford it. There are probably other things you should consider doing with your money (sorry). This is so not what you asked, I know, but please consider reading something like "Everything Personal Finance in Your 20s and 30s" (http://www.amazon.com/The-Everything-Personal-Finance-Your/dp/1598696343) before making the decision to take out a big loan.

    Ehhhhhhh.....usually I'd agree, I'm very very financially conservative. But, just because someone doesn't have $10K laying around in the bank doesn't mean they don't have the ability to save up $10K over the next 5 years or whatnot - the only difference between saving it and paying a loan is the interest, and, well, that's the price you pay. And there's CERTAINLY a benefit to getting it done now over waiting until she has the money saved up.
    Even if she currently has zero debt, a fully-funded emergency buffer, and everything goes exactly as expected, money she's spending on this is money she's not saving and earning a return on, whether that's saving up for a house, for retirement, or for anything else that might be important to her.

    But THIS is important to her. Maybe more important than a house right now. Certainly more important than the ~$500 return she'd earn on that money over the next 5 years (BTW - seriously? She shouldn't spend the money on this because of the RETURN she might otherwise earn? Honestly. Give me a break.). AND THAT'S OK.

    Everything has a cost. The avoidance of debt should not be the be-all end-all of decision making. I'm not saying that I advocate the use of debt for any old thing - completely the opposite. In fact, I'd absolutely encourage her to find a way to do it WITHOUT a loan. But, you still have to weigh the risks/costs of taking on debt against the benefits of whatever it is that you're taking on the debt FOR. It's not as black and white as most of those in the NO DEBT EVAAAARRRR camp make it out to be. I'd have to infer an AWFUL lot to try to figure out her current financial position and life priorities, so I won't even try to do that. But, the need to take out a loan shouldn't be an automatic hard stop on the process. There are other factors to consider, that's all I'm saying.
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
    who cares if people think its selfish, vain, or whatever-its YOUR life.
  • purplemystra
    purplemystra Posts: 159 Member
    I don't think it is selfish. As long as getting the surgery is something that you can afford and your family supports you. I look at this type of surgery's price as the price of a new car. You get a loan to buy a new car, so take out a loan to get a new body you will be happy with. Just make sure you get a good doctor who cares more about their patients then making money. Good luck.
  • parkscs
    parkscs Posts: 1,639 Member
    But THIS is important to her. Maybe more important than a house right now. Certainly more important than the ~$500 return she'd earn on that money over the next 5 years (BTW - seriously? She shouldn't spend the money on this because of the RETURN she might otherwise earn? Honestly. Give me a break.). AND THAT'S OK.

    Everything has a cost. The avoidance of debt should not be the be-all end-all of decision making. I'm not saying that I advocate the use of debt for any old thing - completely the opposite. In fact, I'd absolutely encourage her to find a way to do it WITHOUT a loan. But, you still have to weigh the risks/costs of taking on debt against the benefits of whatever it is that you're taking on the debt FOR. It's not as black and white as most of those in the NO DEBT EVAAAARRRR camp make it out to be. I'd have to infer an AWFUL lot to try to figure out her current financial position and life priorities, so I won't even try to do that. But, the need to take out a loan shouldn't be an automatic hard stop on the process. There are other factors to consider, that's all I'm saying.

    Stop it with your logic and rational thinking. That has no place on Interweb forums.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.

    I would be VERY, VERY cautious of where you go to get surgery done outside of the U.S., especially plastic surgery. Remember, you get what you pay for.

    Oh yeah, because plastic surgery has only just reached the rest of the world, right now we're just cutting people open on the kitchen table and sticking them back together with duct tape.
    Ignorant.

    LOL. My statement was not ignorant at all. You must be one of those people who like try to make things into something they aren't :) You clearly haven't done your research on plastic surgery or talked to (or seen their nightmare of a nose job or breast augmentation) individuals who have gone to other countries to get plastic surgery because it is cheaper than where they live here in the U.S.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.

    I would be VERY, VERY cautious of where you go to get surgery done outside of the U.S., especially plastic surgery. Remember, you get what you pay for.

    ETA: OP, if you can afford it without your family suffering (i.e. no food, no clothes, and the possibility of losing a roof over their head), why not?!

    One should be VERY,VERY cautious of where you go to get surgery WITHIN the US as well. You do get what you pay for.. BUT when you go out of the country for surgery, your money goes further and you afford the BEST. When I had my last surgery it would have cost 20K in the USA and I got it for 4,500 in Mexico.... The doctor in Mexico was WAY more qualified than the US surgeon in my area who quoted me the 20K. there are cases of people going to other countries for surgery and realizing that the doctors are not really doctors operating out of back alley clinics.. That happens in the USA too... but if you go with a board certified reputable COSMETIC surgeon then there is no reason to be overly concerned with receiving care outside of the US.

    The U.S. is ranked as the #1 country in plastic surgery so I don't know how you would be getting the "best" by leaving the country… But do as you please :)
  • Tedebearduff
    Tedebearduff Posts: 1,155 Member
    I lost 100 pounds and have been maintaining my weight loss for 3 years. Unfortunately, due to all the excess skin I have, I still feel fat. I know I will never be able to move on and be happy with my body until I have surgery to remove the skin. I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon, who confirmed what I was never sure about, that it really is just skin and not fat. This initially made me feel better, knowing the "fat" that I see in the mirror isn't really fat, and it isn't my fault. There is really no amount of dieting or exercise I can do to get rid of it. This was freeing for about a day and a half, then it skin started bothering me even more. I know I will never be happy until it is gone. I want to have the surgery, but it is so much money. Just to get my arms done, which is the area that bothers me the most, is $10,000. I want to take out a loan to pay for it, but I wonder, is that selfish? It is a lot of money, and I feel guilty spending that much money on myself. I also worry, as with any surgery there is always a risk, what would happen to my family if something bad happened to me during surgery. Is my happiness worth all that money and risk? I don't feel like I can live the life I am supposed to live in my body the way it is, but is it worth it?

    You don't know that you'll never be happy with the way you look that's just how you feel right now. Regardless that confidence needs to come from within.

    You should speak with a professional about how you feel about your current body image you shouldn't be asking the internet.
  • kkzmom11
    kkzmom11 Posts: 220 Member
    you have done an EXCELLENT job of maintaining your loss. yes, $10,000 is a lot of $. however, will you feel better and be able to live a more fulfilling life, and more active, when the excess skin is gone? if yes, then i say it is worth it. I don't consider it selfish, because you have worked hard and deserve to be the best you can be.
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    ... and Grandmother, for whom I am a caregiver...

    I agree with most everyone that as long as your other expenses are taken care of, this is not selfish.

    The reason I highlight this part of your statement is to add that if/when you decide to go for surgery, make sure someone else is there to pick up caregiving if something were to go wrong. Make sure there is a back up POA (health care AND finacial), as the laws in that area have changed recently. Not doing this would be selfish in my opinion.

    As for the starving kids in Africa, were you planning on donating $10k to a charity anyway? I dunno then.
  • kkzmom11
    kkzmom11 Posts: 220 Member
    When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.

    the great thing about this country is most things are your choice. regarding having ANY surgery done, especially cosmetic, outside the USA, i wouldn't. i realize it's less expensive, but there aren't the same regulations. i have heard too many horror stories about surgeries gone bad. if i was in that situation, i would just swallow my pride and pay more $ to have it done in the USA by a reputable surgeon. i would do LOTS of research first.
  • rungurl3
    rungurl3 Posts: 106 Member
    Hell, no, it's not selfish at all! The benefits you get from feeling more confident are like those you give your kids when you get them braces or other things they need. I had eye surgery last year just so I wouldn't have to wear glasses or contacts all the time. Even partially covered by insurance, it was expensive. But I am SOOOO much happier now, and that happiness is felt by my family too.
  • gertudejekyl
    gertudejekyl Posts: 386 Member
    but...there will be scars. The money is not the only thing to consider. Are you 100% sure the skin won't subside over 2 years or so and exercise...?
  • kikityme
    kikityme Posts: 472 Member
    Some burn centers offer skin removal for free if you donate it. You could actually be helping a lot of other people...nothing selfish about that.

    Sadly, this is an urban myth.

    http://plasticsurgery101.blogspot.ca/2007/09/urban-legend-debunked-can-you-donate.html
  • _whatsherface
    _whatsherface Posts: 1,235 Member
    I told my husband I would only get the surgery if I lost the 100 lbs and kept it off for 3 years like you yourself did. He told me, if you can lose 100 lbs and keep it off, you ABSOLUTELY deserve it and we will figure it out =D So I say, GO FOR IT!
  • JupeJones
    JupeJones Posts: 107 Member
    You get a loan to buy a new car

    Not everyone does.
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
    You get a loan to buy a new car

    Not everyone does.

    No, not everyone, but many people do and a lot of cars are more than $10k
  • 2dare2dream
    2dare2dream Posts: 104 Member
    congrats on your success and you need to do whats right for you sweety. Good luck whatever you decide:smile:
  • funchords
    funchords Posts: 413 Member
    Selfishness is being concerned, sometimes excessively or exclusively, 
    with concern for oneself or one's own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, 
    regardless of others.
    
    Okay, so it's selfish. But so is buying flowers because you like it, buying a dress because you like the color, or buying a house because you like the garden. There's nothing wrong with some appropriate selfishness.

    I would be interested in investigating a little medical tourism. US prices are too high.
  • Adubmarie87
    Adubmarie87 Posts: 41 Member
    Miss I say do it! Be sure to talk with your family and friends. And I totally agree that you should get it done outside the USA 10,000 dollars is too much (I think). (London Trip?) Also let your family know that you will need their support in regards to your healing. An old coworker of mine had to have surgery from her loose skin--- side story: Her skin was long enough to pull, she said she felt like she was a monster regardless of her weight loss that everyone applauded her for. She did it for her, and so should you. You are doing well to have loss the weight regardless! Congrats to you!! :drinker:
  • funchords
    funchords Posts: 413 Member
    My parents both had skin removal done after losing a ton of weight (gastric bypass in their cases) and it was covered by insurance due to risk of infections. I'd make sure you talk to the doctor about that risk before doing anything in case at least a portion of it can be taken care of that way.
    I've heard both versions of this -- insurance sometimes covers and insurance doesn't cover.
  • Timelordlady85
    Timelordlady85 Posts: 797 Member
    I lost 100 pounds and have been maintaining my weight loss for 3 years. Unfortunately, due to all the excess skin I have, I still feel fat. I know I will never be able to move on and be happy with my body until I have surgery to remove the skin. I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon, who confirmed what I was never sure about, that it really is just skin and not fat. This initially made me feel better, knowing the "fat" that I see in the mirror isn't really fat, and it isn't my fault. There is really no amount of dieting or exercise I can do to get rid of it. This was freeing for about a day and a half, then it skin started bothering me even more. I know I will never be happy until it is gone. I want to have the surgery, but it is so much money. Just to get my arms done, which is the area that bothers me the most, is $10,000. I want to take out a loan to pay for it, but I wonder, is that selfish? It is a lot of money, and I feel guilty spending that much money on myself. I also worry, as with any surgery there is always a risk, what would happen to my family if something bad happened to me during surgery. Is my happiness worth all that money and risk? I don't feel like I can live the life I am supposed to live in my body the way it is, but is it worth it?


    Have you looked into care credit. its a credit card for health operation such as dental, eyes, you can use it for your pets medical care also. I had used mine for lasik. it is still a credit card but its designed for medical use.
  • Miss_1999
    Miss_1999 Posts: 747 Member
    You get a loan to buy a new car

    Not everyone does.

    No, not everyone, but many people do and a lot of cars are more than $10k

    Exactly. Not *everyone* does, but most people who are buying a brand new car, are spending at the *very* least about 18 to 20K on a car, and the majority don't just have that in savings or lying around the house.

    When I have my surgery done, we're borrowing against my husband's 401K. That way, we're "borrowing against ourselves". The loan we pay back, we pay back to ourselves. It's automatically deducted from his paycheck, and we don't miss it (the payment that is.) I've already found the surgeon I want to do mine. I'm absolutely excited about it, and yeah, I honestly don't care what anyone says about me- selfish, vain, *****, ect, I can't wait. My back hurts horribly, and after losing all this weight, I'm going to spend, I hope another 40 or so years in this body, I'd like for it to look the way I've always wanted. I'm having a lower body lift, armlift, and breast lift (in hopes that will stop the upper back/shoulder pain as well.). Some is strictly cosmetic (my arms), and other is cosmetic and pain/health related- stomach/breasts. For me, it's going to be worth it. I know there's going to be pain. Which is one reason I'm *hoping* they'll do it all at once, but I have no idea if that's even possible. I went through 18 1/2 hours of HORRIBLE hard labor and natural child birth (to which I am NOT bragging, as this was NOT what I wanted or my choice) and then withstood two surgeries after that to repair damage to my body from a birth injury. So, it's not my first rodeo with pain. Granted, I know this is going to be a WHOLE new ballpark, but at least, I'll KNOW this going in. Therein, lies the difference.
  • happyfeetrebel1
    happyfeetrebel1 Posts: 1,005 Member
    I don't think it is selfish, but if you have not, I would try lifting heavy weights first, 100 lbs. is not that much to have that much skin, you might be surprised what more muscle will do.

    The average is 10 lbs left over skin for each 100 lbs lost

    My Dr. has told me that there ISN'T going to be anyway to fix the permanent damage that morbid obesity did to my skin. It doesn't have enough elasticity at my age to get firm again.

    I'd suspect it's the same with the OP
  • ShinyFuture
    ShinyFuture Posts: 314 Member
    You're going to spend that money anyways. Is it selfish to spend it on yourself? Well, my guess is that most of it will be spent on yourself in any event. Unless you were going to actually, literally spend it to save the starving children you aren't shortchanging them. Spending money you weren't going to send them isn't wrong.