Is it just a bad time to try? (grief)
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lorib642
Posts: 1,942 Member
I need to lose weight. But, life is getting in the way. I have been doing okay at home, but when I go out I go back to old habits. That might be something I can work around. Just start making better choices.
My dad is really ill. That isn't new, but hospice is coming today to do an assessment. I am driving up to visit him on Wed for a few days.My mom is actually taking it okay and he has accepted that his condition is terminal. I am just numb and nothing seems important.
I feel like saying "screw it" and stop calorie counting until I am in a better place emotionally. But, I don't know if there will always be a reason to put it off.
My dad is really ill. That isn't new, but hospice is coming today to do an assessment. I am driving up to visit him on Wed for a few days.My mom is actually taking it okay and he has accepted that his condition is terminal. I am just numb and nothing seems important.
I feel like saying "screw it" and stop calorie counting until I am in a better place emotionally. But, I don't know if there will always be a reason to put it off.
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Replies
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Life is always throwing curve balls. Do your best and try to keep logging and counting as best you can. Remember stress itself can also slow weight loss. I am sure your dad would want you to stay on your journey of becoming healthier.0
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I need to lose weight. But, life is getting in the way. I have been doing okay at home, but when I go out I go back to old habits. That might be something I can work around. Just start making better choices.
My dad is really ill. That isn't new, but hospice is coming today to do an assessment. I am driving up to visit him on Wed for a few days.My mom is actually taking it okay and he has accepted that his condition is terminal. I am just numb and nothing seems important.
I feel like saying "screw it" and stop calorie counting until I am in a better place emotionally. But, I don't know if there will always be a reason to put it off.
i'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. it's not hard dealing with this.
I will say this is a REALLY hard situation because when i'm stressed with anything, it's so easy to say "screw it"
ultimately it's your choice and your body, but i will let you know that life will always throw us **** situations. I heard someone once say "i don't know why, but the more we want something(weight loss), life will seem to keep giving us crappy situations trying to throw us off track"
be true to yourself. do what will make you truly happy.0 -
First, I'm so sorry for what you are going through.
I lost a family member somewhat recently (August), and it actually motivated me to get back on track. I used all that emotion and put it into developing a running habit, and set a goal for myself. Not everyone is the same, but I think the exercise and setting goals actually helped me work through my grief more easily. Everyone is different, and if you think that you should wait, then you should wait. Do what's best for you.:flowerforyou:0 -
Definitely a tough decision. I have been through the loss of my husband then soon after my dad then several years later my mom. Each of those losses brought me huge weight gains. I am not sure how I would have handled things had I had access to MFP. I do know we have this wonderful tool but at the end of the day you need to take care of yourself and your emotions. Try and remember the piece of cake or cookies or bag of chips (choose your food evil) will not ease the pain. Only time and memories.
Cherish your time you have right now and just remember they never truly leave us.
Huge hugs0 -
I've seen a lot of your posts and I am sure that you have been very helpful to other people. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. The unfortunate thing about this decision is that you do have to eat. Pick wise comfort foods. Many snacks out there that can still fit. All in moderation. Ultimately though, its a tough time and I hope that if you do decide to stay away for a while , it's not for too long.0
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To say, "Screw it" and stop trying will only make you feel worse. Don't give yourself excuses - just keep plugging away and you'll be surprised at how much better you feel no matter your circumstance!
I'm very sorry about your Dad, it's a tough time for you. I am going through the same thing with my mother right now and it hurts.
I wish you all the best in your weight loss journey and with your life situations!
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I've found that sticking to healthy habits actually make hard times easier for me to handle. Comfort foods are certainly comforting in the moment and I have had my "screw it" days but the next day I have an even harder time dealing with stress than I would have if I'd stayed on track. Sometimes, knowing that I am making progress towards my goal is the only bright spot in my day.0
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So sorry to hear about that, truly. I think that sometimes there are other more important things than counting every calorie. Your family will need you and you'll likely be distracted and that's more than fine. Like someone else said, you do still have to eat, so just make good choices and be sensible. Then, when you're ready you can get back to it.0
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Don't kick yourself down and hang in there. I'm sorry that you're having to go through all of that. If you make the conscious effort to select healthy foods and monitor your portions, you won't have to worry so much about counting calories. If you go out to eat, choose a location you know will offer healthier options to select from.
I took the habit a long time ago not to allow life's ups and downs be a reason to give up on my own health for any reason because I know that if I don't maintain it during those times, my own health will start going downhill and then I'm back at having to find the strength to start all over again and I've come too far to go back to square 1.0 -
I lost my husband in July. For a month after he passed, I didn't want to do anything. I lost about 6 pounds in the first 2 weeks because I had no appetite. A couple weeks after that, I just didn't have the motivation to do much of anything. After that, I realized that I wasn't going to heal just sitting on my butt. I needed the gym, I needed to start eating right again. Brad would have wanted that for me. He was my biggest cheerleader in the gym. You need it for yourself.0
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I am so sorry about your dad. That is one of those life things that is the most difficult to face! {hugs}
As far as is it a bad time, only you can answer that question. There is always going to be a reason to start tomorrow instead of starting today. Remember tomorrow never comes.... tomorrow there will always be another tomorrow. Try today and see what you can change now, even if it is something small.0 -
I don't claim to know everything, but I do know this----If you keep looking for the "right time" or the "best time" to start, you'll be waiting til they plant you 6 feet under. Getting started doesn't mean starting full bore with guns blazin, wearing spandex pants and a sweat band on your head with your MP3 player beltin out the theme to Rocky. It is a process that you build on and add on bit by bit by bit. Start with water intake. Water is your best friend. At least 48 ounces a day to start if you really are not into drinking that much, but build up to 64 as soon as possible. Then alter your food---cut back on the fried stuff, a little less beef and pork, a little more chicken and fish products. Move a little more----more stairs and less elevators. You got this girl. You can really do it. Just start with one thing, then follow it up with another and before you know it, BADA BOOM BADA BING!!!0
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Only you know. Its a challenge and requires determination and focus. Can you provide that despite what else is going on? Some distraction during these sort of things can be quite good. You need to keep the issues separate. Its either importnat enough and you wnat to lose the weight now or you dont.
A healthy diet could keep you more alert and active, it could also be an area where you can exercise control where other aspects seem to be getting away from you. Just make the choice and dont worry about it or beat yourself up about it becayse thats wasted energy.0 -
It is not a bad time, it is the perfect time. Well it has been for me anyway. I have found that during times of emotional distress, keeping track of my food, looking up healthy recipes, and planning workouts keeps my mind busy and focused. I also work out harder. I leave as much pain as I can on the pavement when I go run, or on the weights in the weight room. I tire myself out and it helps greatly. Working out releases endorphins that help combat grief, I also feel in control of my life somewhat and a bit better about myself. Running and lifting have helped me get through break ups and family deaths, but whatever you feel works for you.0
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So sorry to hear about your dad.
My mum was diagnosed with leukaemia in March 2012. My parents live nearly 300 miles away and I was on maternity leave when it happened (at that point I had a 2 year old and a 10 month old). I was so sad, especially as I had to be told over the phone. But I said to myself there's not point in being sad and fat, so I carried on with exercising. I kind of lost my appetite for a while.
Luckily my mum is in emission, although she did relapse once and went through lots of treatment again. It's been a stressful couple of years, but I have carried on exercising. I find it helps.0 -
I'm so, so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my dad last year so I know what you are talking about (he was on hospice as well). Honestly, I can't tell you what will work best for you. For me, at the time food didn't really appeal to me at all but I threw myself into anything and everything so I didn't have to think about losing him. I was a workaholic and would act like I felt better than I was but sometimes that legitimately made me feel a little bit better. Anything to keep me from breaking down crying all the time. So would it help? I don't know. Would it be easy? No. But would it be worth it? Probably. One of the things that kept me going and still is that my dad didn't want his problems to happen to me (he had diabetes, COPD, all kinds of things, although he died of lung cancer). He wanted me to take care of myself and work hard on my goals because he was always so proud of me. I'm sure your dad feels the same way.
My other random advice? Let people comfort you. This was the hardest thing for me to do but if someone is there for you and offering comfort, in whatever form, a hug, just sitting with you, accept the comfort. It will make the burden of grief a little bit lighter.0 -
So sorry you're going through such a tough time. As others have suggested, don't throw everything out the window. Do what you can in a kind way. If a "workout" feels good/distracting, that's great - go for it! But if it feels like ONE MORE THING...then take a deep breath and just get outside for an amble around the block. Breathe and take a few minutes for yourself. It's still giving yourself the gift of exercise, even if at a lower level of intensity.
Same reasoning applies to food. If you're inspired to use this as a springboard to make big changes, go you! But if logging's about all you can do, or just getting a few different food groups into you each day is all you can do...then do that.
Whatever you do, be kind to yourself.0 -
If you have two problems, one of them should not be an excuse to ignore the other.
If you are really to busy simply eat very healthy without counting every little bit. but not giving a **** for a few months will make your weight problem even bigger.0 -
There will always be something; one excuse or another to not do what you want/need to do. I'm sorry to see what you're going through, but that doesn't mean you can't make some small changes in your life.0
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During my worst days, the gym is truly the highlight of my day. Put on the headphones, belt out the words, cry/sing/grunt/sweat - lose yourself in your thoughts or no thoughts for awhile. You will usually feel better after - it can be a great release. Something to look forward to when you seem to have nothing else to look forward to...0
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