Is it just a bad time to try? (grief)

I need to lose weight. But, life is getting in the way. I have been doing okay at home, but when I go out I go back to old habits. That might be something I can work around. Just start making better choices.

My dad is really ill. That isn't new, but hospice is coming today to do an assessment. I am driving up to visit him on Wed for a few days.My mom is actually taking it okay and he has accepted that his condition is terminal. I am just numb and nothing seems important.

I feel like saying "screw it" and stop calorie counting until I am in a better place emotionally. But, I don't know if there will always be a reason to put it off.

i'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. it's not hard dealing with this.
I will say this is a REALLY hard situation because when i'm stressed with anything, it's so easy to say "screw it"

ultimately it's your choice and your body, but i will let you know that life will always throw us **** situations. I heard someone once say "i don't know why, but the more we want something(weight loss), life will seem to keep giving us crappy situations trying to throw us off track"

be true to yourself. do what will make you truly happy.

Definitely a tough decision. I have been through the loss of my husband then soon after my dad then several years later my mom. Each of those losses brought me huge weight gains. I am not sure how I would have handled things had I had access to MFP. I do know we have this wonderful tool but at the end of the day you need to take care of yourself and your emotions. Try and remember the piece of cake or cookies or bag of chips (choose your food evil) will not ease the pain. Only time and memories.
Cherish your time you have right now and just remember they never truly leave us.
Huge hugs

To say, "Screw it" and stop trying will only make you feel worse. Don't give yourself excuses - just keep plugging away and you'll be surprised at how much better you feel no matter your circumstance!
I'm very sorry about your Dad, it's a tough time for you. I am going through the same thing with my mother right now and it hurts.
I wish you all the best in your weight loss journey and with your life situations!

So sorry to hear about that, truly. I think that sometimes there are other more important things than counting every calorie. Your family will need you and you'll likely be distracted and that's more than fine. Like someone else said, you do still have to eat, so just make good choices and be sensible. Then, when you're ready you can get back to it.

I lost my husband in July. For a month after he passed, I didn't want to do anything. I lost about 6 pounds in the first 2 weeks because I had no appetite. A couple weeks after that, I just didn't have the motivation to do much of anything. After that, I realized that I wasn't going to heal just sitting on my butt. I needed the gym, I needed to start eating right again. Brad would have wanted that for me. He was my biggest cheerleader in the gym. You need it for yourself.

I don't claim to know everything, but I do know this----If you keep looking for the "right time" or the "best time" to start, you'll be waiting til they plant you 6 feet under. Getting started doesn't mean starting full bore with guns blazin, wearing spandex pants and a sweat band on your head with your MP3 player beltin out the theme to Rocky. It is a process that you build on and add on bit by bit by bit. Start with water intake. Water is your best friend. At least 48 ounces a day to start if you really are not into drinking that much, but build up to 64 as soon as possible. Then alter your food---cut back on the fried stuff, a little less beef and pork, a little more chicken and fish products. Move a little more----more stairs and less elevators. You got this girl. You can really do it. Just start with one thing, then follow it up with another and before you know it, BADA BOOM BADA BING!!!

It is not a bad time, it is the perfect time. Well it has been for me anyway. I have found that during times of emotional distress, keeping track of my food, looking up healthy recipes, and planning workouts keeps my mind busy and focused. I also work out harder. I leave as much pain as I can on the pavement when I go run, or on the weights in the weight room. I tire myself out and it helps greatly. Working out releases endorphins that help combat grief, I also feel in control of my life somewhat and a bit better about myself. Running and lifting have helped me get through break ups and family deaths, but whatever you feel works for you.

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my dad last year so I know what you are talking about (he was on hospice as well). Honestly, I can't tell you what will work best for you. For me, at the time food didn't really appeal to me at all but I threw myself into anything and everything so I didn't have to think about losing him. I was a workaholic and would act like I felt better than I was but sometimes that legitimately made me feel a little bit better. Anything to keep me from breaking down crying all the time. So would it help? I don't know. Would it be easy? No. But would it be worth it? Probably. One of the things that kept me going and still is that my dad didn't want his problems to happen to me (he had diabetes, COPD, all kinds of things, although he died of lung cancer). He wanted me to take care of myself and work hard on my goals because he was always so proud of me. I'm sure your dad feels the same way.
My other random advice? Let people comfort you. This was the hardest thing for me to do but if someone is there for you and offering comfort, in whatever form, a hug, just sitting with you, accept the comfort. It will make the burden of grief a little bit lighter.

If you have two problems, one of them should not be an excuse to ignore the other.
If you are really to busy simply eat very healthy without counting every little bit. but not giving a **** for a few months will make your weight problem even bigger.

During my worst days, the gym is truly the highlight of my day. Put on the headphones, belt out the words, cry/sing/grunt/sweat - lose yourself in your thoughts or no thoughts for awhile. You will usually feel better after - it can be a great release. Something to look forward to when you seem to have nothing else to look forward to...

If I were in your place I'd leave it for another time, but that's me. I just wouldn't be capable, and life is not always going to be full of terminally ill loved ones - take time to care for yourself, and if that's counting calories and exercising then great, and if that's deep-fried cheese flavoured ice cream then great. Be kind to yourself, this is a rough time.

If I were in your place I'd leave it for another time, but that's me. I just wouldn't be capable, and life is not always going to be full of terminally ill loved ones - take time to care for yourself, and if that's counting calories and exercising then great, and if that's deep-fried cheese flavoured ice cream then great. Be kind to yourself, this is a rough time.

Agreed.


& where can I get some of that Ice Cream???

Sorry for what you are going through, my dad was recently diagnose with stage 4 colon cancer and we are not yet at that point but it is the inevitable unfortunately.

I am sure your dad wants the best for you and wants you to be healthy and happy. I wouldn't say screw it all together, but if you can, try to make the best decisions you can in that moment nutrition wise.

I would try. I just wouldn't be all hardcore about it. I'd go into it knowing that if I didn't meet my goal that day, that was unfortunate but not anything to be upset about. I'd just start again ASAP. Like others have said, be kind to yourself.

For me, it would be a welcome distraction, but then that's the way I handle grief. I can only sit in misery for so long before I MUST get out and do something else, concentrate on something else, do anything else to get a break. Otherwise, I would go crazy. Meal planning could be that distraction. Exercise could be that distraction.