Just can't do it... :o(

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  • LHarders
    LHarders Posts: 28 Member
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    yes you can....keep reading these message boards and asking questions and talking out your feelings...that is what we are all here for...YOU CAN DO IT small steps. I liked the proverb that said something like "fall down 7 times pick yourself up 8 times" One thing you have to get through to yourself is nobody can do it for you...but you are not alone.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,858 Member
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    Okay, I am putting on my best drill sargent voice, here: YOU CAN DO THIS. Right now you feel like crap and I understand that. So many of us on here understand all too well what you are feeling. And maybe you have not hit rock bottom yet in order to pick yourself up and do this thing. But let me tell you how ****ing good it feels when you start losing that weight and you clothes start getting too big and you can shimmy back into the old stuff. It feels SO GOOD.. And you can do it. You can do it for yourself, because that is all that matters. You need to put time aside to do this. You need to be selfish and take care of yourself.

    Tell you kids show some respect and shut your partner up by getting healthy and then make him beg to a get a good look at you.
  • donnaruby
    donnaruby Posts: 1
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    Well, let me start here...I quit smoking Oct of 2009. I thought it was the BEST thing I could do. I put on 35 pounds!!! I almost started again but I have a GREAT husband that LOVES me and begged me not to. Told me he loved me regardless and would help me however he could! I had some chest pain and dizziness about a month or so later and went to my doc. I was sent for a stress test which I failed miserably. On to the cardiologist where he found a prolapsed mitral valve (which will need replaced), pulmonary hypertension (high blood pressure) and mild cardiac stenosis (artery narrowing). I also was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea 15-18 years ago. I hit a brick wall! I have 4 kids that need me and a husband that loves me unconditionally. I had to save my own life. I inquired about gastric banding and was chosen as a candidate!!! They put me on a 6 month diet log with only 1400 calories a day! (That ain't much). I started Jan 25th and have lost 7 pounds so far.
    NOW, my point here. If I had not had the loving support of my family, I would have given up. I HAD to realize I had people who were relying on me to be there for them. Not necessarily for dinner and clean laundry...but because I AM MOM!!! PLEASE, do yourself and your family a HUGE favor....look in the mirror and ask yourself....are my kids worth it? If your husband is not willing to back you and help you...maybe its time for some time alone. Ridicule is the LAST thing you need honey! There are SO many health issues from being overweight...you really don't want ANY of them. They CAN and WILL take your life away from you! God bless you and please keep us posted. Donna
  • wintervixen78
    wintervixen78 Posts: 176 Member
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    I'm sorry to hear what you're going through and how you're feeling. As for your husband, talk to him about how his lack of physical/ eye contact is making you feel. But also, you need to find something that makes you feel happy. Sometimes we can walk into a room and sense things are not right. Some people ask 'what's wrong/ are you ok', others give space until that person seems to have sorted themselves out. When someone is sad/ depressed, there's often a sence of helplessness on the person that is not depressed and not know what to do, or how to help, or even what is wrong, until they're instructed. Attraction for anyone, isn't just in a pretty face or slim body, it's in the smile, the laugh, the touch, the personality, the mood and much more.

    I suffered depression for many years (I'm ok now). I thought it was one thing causing my depression, but after finally coming out of my dark place and talking, I realised it was a whole collection of problems that had happened to me all at once. But what I did, was focus a lot of hate, anger and blame internally. I won't go into it too deep, because it really was a dark place. But talking helped, no one knew, until I spoke up.

    I'm a loan parent to a 4 year old boy, I have a boyfriend of almost 3 years, we don't live together yet. So I'm raising my son alone. The only time I have to myself is every other weekend, when my son stays with my mum and about 3 hours after he's gone to bed. I can't go to the gym and take my son, I can't afford a baby sitter so I can go to the gym. All my mates are childless and spread out all over London, my mum is the other side of London and my boyfriend does shift work. Soooo, here's what I do to excersise and I hope it helps you.

    -Dora adventure, aka walking home from the station (15 mins) instead of taking the bus 5 mins. Apx 100 cals burned.
    -Dancing to MTV for 1 hour with my son, me copying the dancers. Over 400 calories burned.
    -Son's away for the weekend, turn up the iPod clean the whole house, apx 2 hours. Crazy calories burned.
    -Using the broom instead of the Hoover, ouch my back, followed by warm bubble bath.
    -3 days a week at work, run upstairs to say hello to all in the top of the office. For extra workout, offer to make coffee (kitchen in the basement and can only carry 2 cups at a time).
    -Work again, eat lunch early, walk in my lunch break around the back streets where no one thinks I'm crazy. A bit smelly, perfume in the desk draw.
    -Take son weekly to borrow books at the library, every step counts.
    -Shopping in the store for an hour, over 300 calories burned.
    -Girls night out, cheesy bar with a dance floor (lots calories burned) and vodka with cranberry/ diet coke (50ish calories), sparkling water.
    -Walking faster when I'm on my own, the faster I go the more I burn.

    All the best and goodluck! :o)
  • kimmieko16
    kimmieko16 Posts: 24 Member
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    You can do it, don't get discouraged... try to make a schedule for the week planning out what time you will work out, even if for 30 mins. Tell your family that during those time you are busy and having time to focus on your goal.... if it makes it easier try to incorporate them in exercise to, I'm not sure how old your kids are but if they are young get them some jump ropes and hoola hoops to play with while you all do your thing for 30 or 60 mins.... the more you feel people being supportive to you, the more you should try to use that as your motivation to do well ... prove them wrong and prove that you will stick to a plan.... and don't feel embarrassed, until this month I never went to the gym cause I felt I was to out of shape, then I found that people are there doing their own thing and not paying attention to me struggling.... maybe you should try joining a class... maybe water aerobics.. don't freak out I know you have to wear a bathing suit but then your in the water... plus its a good start and workout.... find a support group and use that as motivation as well.. work out buddies are always helpful.... don't give up!!
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    Don't get me wrong, I sympathize with you, but if you think negatively you're going to act negatively. If you change the way you're thinking you'll change your behavior. Who cares who sees you working out in the privacy of your own home...maybe the kids will see mommy getting in shape and it will show them that you care about healthy living...and your partner asked for it. One trick I learned, if you really don't feel like working out, then just do it for 10 minutes...you'll notice that the hardest part is getting started, you'll feel great after 10 minutes and WANT to do more. But please, change your mind set.
    Thank YOU! What thoughts we allow to fester determine our behavior. This is about you, not your partner or kids or the others at the gym! If you want this bad enough you'll make it happen, if you want to stay put the self talk you're giving yourself now will work well for that.

    No excuses keeps us moving, excuses slow us down and in a very short time we simply give up and begin blaming others for the process not working.

    Take responsibility and simply DO IT! You'll be so glad you did and only regret it if you continue to blame others instead!
  • catofisis
    catofisis Posts: 34
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    When I first started exercising, I would have died before going to the gym. However, it is hard to get yourself motivated when you're doing it at home alone. Here is a trick that worked for me. When I did not want to exercise, I made myself think of it as STRESS RELIEF TIME. I told myself, "OK I will do 10 mins, and it will be ME time, time to think about X, whatever." I didn't listen to music cos I had the same paranoia about anyone interrupting me/ seeing me through the window!! I told myself that all I was aiming for (at first) was to work up a sweat. Once I had a sweat, I could stop at any time.

    The great thing was, even if I only did 10 mins, my energy and mood would be lifted for the rest of the day.

    I still use this trick to make myself look forward to the gym!
  • janesmith1
    janesmith1 Posts: 1,511 Member
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    I think you're just way too overwhelmed by life, weight, children, weight, children, husband, making dinners, keeping the house clean, etc. All of that is hard work, then there's the treadmill. And I'll agree with you, the g.d. tm is BORING.

    Sooo, I have a suggestion, put your tm in the garage for now, take walks with your kids, shovel the g.d. snow - you know that shoveling the snow uses calories? Get a HRM (heart rate monitor) to track your cals & hr while shoveling the snow.

    Then I think you need some exercise videos. You wanna try Zumba? Get a dvd. You want to do some yoga? Get some dvds. You want to do aerobics? Get some dvds.

    A really GREAT dvd exercise place is collagevideo.com - they have previews and loads of inspiring dvds. You should probably go for the low impact stuff. They even have stuff for people sitting in chairs! Come on you can do that! And, there's a couple of YOGA IN BED dvds right now at amazon, which are awesome, try doing a yoga in bed dvd!

    I think you're overwhelmed, you're looking at the mountain, but all you need to do is take one tiny baby step!
  • Amb1976
    Amb1976 Posts: 241 Member
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    "I can understand where your coming from....my husband has been known to be quite RUDE in his comments toward me and needing to loose weight"

    You know, beating him to death will burn some calories. :) (Sorry, couldn't help myself!) :bigsmile:

    :laugh: his attitude has changed quite a bit lately since he sees the difference. the only time he gets mouthy is when hes filled w liquid courage.:laugh: .doesnt matter....i keep thinkin all those negative comments hes ever made to push me thru:happy: .....i think hes afraid i can kick his butt now :blushing:
  • Amb1976
    Amb1976 Posts: 241 Member
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    if you need extra motivation...check out the success stories...you will see those ppl that have been there and pushed thru....then you'll think....hey, if so-so can do it....why cant i?
  • jennifer3998
    jennifer3998 Posts: 144 Member
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    So many people did a good job with the suggestions and motivation. I'm just going to say one thing. You need to put your partner in his place - a long conversation about what the meaning of "partner" is would be a good start. Second, my kids' world would come to a quick end if they made fun of me. Too many kids these days don't respect adults.....don't let your kids treat you that way! As good old Dr. Phil always says, "You teach people how to treat you." GO TEACH EM!
  • Grokette
    Grokette Posts: 3,330 Member
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    Don't get me wrong, I sympathize with you, but if you think negatively you're going to act negatively. If you change the way you're thinking you'll change your behavior. Who cares who sees you working out in the privacy of your own home...maybe the kids will see mommy getting in shape and it will show them that you care about healthy living...and your partner asked for it. One trick I learned, if you really don't feel like working out, then just do it for 10 minutes...you'll notice that the hardest part is getting started, you'll feel great after 10 minutes and WANT to do more. But please, change your mind set.

    This is the way to think!! Positive thinking breeds positive results and vice versa.

    I have thought this way in the past. No more. Even though it is 6 degrees outside and snow and ice are everywhere, i am still taking my dogs for daily walks. No more excuses!!!!

    Get up and get moving. Start small, but think big!!!

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