Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but...

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misspenny762
misspenny762 Posts: 279 Member
in Food and Nutrition
I have seen a recurring thing among dieters/healthy eaters that recently is starting to bother me a little. Not just MFP but among pretty much anyone who is trying to lose weight. There seems to be a really prevalent opinion that, when we're dieting, our s/o's, family members, etc. need to support us 100% (which is great!) but that support should include not bringing junk food into the home. We all seem to get really upset to find out that hubby brought home some cookies, chips, etc. because it's such a temptation for us.

Before anyone jumps down my throat, I used to have this opinion too! But recently I've realized that we're not being entirely fair.

WE made the choice to get healthy, not them. WE are the ones on this journey.

Is it really fair for us to ask those around us to change their habits and sacrifice their favorite foods, just because we're afraid of a little temptation?

Would it be awesome if we inspired those in our lives to make better choices? Definitely! And for a lot of us, that's a reality! But for those of us with family members who still just have to satisfy that sweet tooth, we have to respect that. It's one thing to encourage them to make better choices. It's quite another to blow a fuse just because our boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/sibling/parent/roommate/whoever bought themselves a bag of chips at the supermarket.

Sure, it sucks to have that temptation nagging at us from the pantry, but let's be real. If you can't survive a little temptation, your diet is not going to hold out anyway. So you should view this as an opportunity to work out that self-control muscle.

I think of it like this. If someone in my family suddenly went vegetarian, more power to them. I would support their decision, and if they wanted to cook veggie-friendly meals for us several nights of the week, I would even be willing to do that.
But if they got upset at ME because I brought home chicken for my dinner, just because it was "tempting" to them... well, tough luck! I'd say, you made your own choice, but don't force it on me!

So I think maybe we should be a little more understanding of when this happens. Next time you see a box of Oreos in the kitchen that you didn't put there, shrug and grab some baby carrots instead. Then feel proud of yourself for resisting temptation, and just remember that every time you do it, it will get a little bit easier.

(By the way, this post was NOT aimed at anyone in particular, and is NOT responding to any one post. It's just a trend I've been noticing throughout the weight loss community and I wanted to give a voice to the other side.)

Opposing views are welcome :]
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Replies

  • aneajo
    aneajo Posts: 287 Member
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    :smile: :happy: :flowerforyou: :heart: :drinker: :bigsmile:
    Way to go. Very very true.
  • briball003
    briball003 Posts: 5 Member
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    Girl, you hit the nail on the head! Well stated & I fully agree.
  • merrillfoster
    merrillfoster Posts: 855 Member
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    Agreed, and well said :)
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
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    My pantry still has junk food in it. My kids and hubby are a healthy weight and enjoy a treat for dessert most nights. I certainly don't expect them to have to give those up just because I have issues with portion control and emotional eating. On any given day you'll find cookies, chocolate and buttery popcorn in my pantry. I've learned to deal with it.
  • YeaILift
    YeaILift Posts: 580 Member
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    I agree to an extent. However, it is exponentially more challenging to start new habits while still trying to break old ones. Also, it is even harder if you are just starting out and the temptations is right in front of you.
  • Jena_72
    Jena_72 Posts: 1,057
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    What Julie said :smile:
  • Tennessee2019
    Tennessee2019 Posts: 676 Member
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    I agree with you. WE just have to have the will power to avoid the temptations (cookies, cake, pie) that are in front of us
  • imacrafty
    imacrafty Posts: 11
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    I agree with you. I believe that I am accountable to me and its not because someone else brought something in the house that I like or there are advertisements on TV that show fast food! Its free-will for me and my choice if I decide to indulge or not. :wink:
  • LP4me
    LP4me Posts: 27
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    I agree with you. But family members should also be willing to try to keep it to a minimum. You wouldn't keep lighting up cigarettes around someone you know is trying to quit. It all comes down to COMMON COURTESY and RESPECT for others around you.
  • BreeWilder
    BreeWilder Posts: 133 Member
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    I agree. My husband doesn't need to lose weight. I do. I'm not going to deprive him to save myself. What I am going to is learn to have will power.
  • samrockrocks
    samrockrocks Posts: 251 Member
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    i agree with you that we shouldn't get overly upset when our family/friends tempt us with the foods that they enjoy but we are trying to avoid. i personally don't avoid any foods. doesn't work for me. i eat things i want and stay within my calories. i try to eat healthier, sure, but if i want that chocolate i might as well have a piece instead of trying to find something else to satisfy myself because at the end of the struggle, it would have been better on my calories to just have what i wanted in the first place.

    i, however, do not like your comparison of eating meat in front of a vegetarian/vegan to eating tempting foods in front of someone on a calorie budget. vegetarians/vegans (for the most part and in my experience) make that choice because of their views about animals and the environment. throwing (not literally) meat in front of someone who doesn't eat it isn't tempting, it's just rude and disrespectful. people have calorie restrictions because they are unhappy with their weight and it doesn't have anything to do with their beliefs and values (like vegetarianism/veganism). SOOO i hope i'm making my point in saying that the two are not the same.
  • misspenny762
    misspenny762 Posts: 279 Member
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    i, however, do not like your comparison of eating meat in front of a vegetarian/vegan to eating tempting foods in front of someone on a calorie budget. vegetarians/vegans (for the most part and in my experience) make that choice because of their views about animals and the environment. throwing (not literally) meat in front of someone who doesn't eat it isn't tempting, it's just rude and disrespectful. people have calorie restrictions because they are unhappy with their weight and it doesn't have anything to do with their beliefs and values (like vegetarianism/veganism). SOOO i hope i'm making my point in saying that the two are not the same.

    Well, what do you consider to be "throwing meat in front of someone" to be? Because I definitely wouldn't consider my example of simply bringing meat home for myself to be forcing it on anyone else. I would, however, consider a vegetarian who was getting mad at me for that to be forcing his/her beliefs on me, which is in itself quite disrespectful and rude.
  • dr1981
    dr1981 Posts: 76 Member
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    Nevermind.
  • nubreeze33
    nubreeze33 Posts: 270
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    I agree 100% It's the same with life in general and if we all developed this concept in the way we live we wouldn't have road rage, and so much hatred. If people lived and let live. We set this standard and expect people to be on that level. It isn't fair at all. And after all the entire idea of changing our lifestyle is being able to be around foods that WE KNOW are not healthy choices and making the decision to make a healthy choice. It's like an alcoholic expecting all liquor stores to cease to exist once he's clean. Great post!
  • melodyg
    melodyg Posts: 1,423 Member
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    I agree to an extent. However, it is exponentially more challenging to start new habits while still trying to break old ones. Also, it is even harder if you are just starting out and the temptations is right in front of you.

    This.

    Now, I am at the point where it is easy for me to not eat junk food when others are eating it. It was much harder at other times in my life to watch others and not feel deprived. You are correct that that is my problem and not theirs... but I feel like it is common courtesy to help out your family too. If I had a friend who was struggling with alcoholism... or a family member who had been newly diagnosed with diabetes and was struggling with the dietary changes of that... I wouldn't drink around them or parade sugary sweets they couldn't have in front of them. In time, people who are learning to live sober and people with diabetes/food allergies/etc. have to learn to live in a world where others can eat and drink differently than they do. But I think part of being a family is helping them out in the transition period. Same with those of us making healthy lifestyle changes.

    (Also, this is off topic a bit but at least in my family my goal is for us ALL to be eating healthier. So... we rarely bring junk food in the house. My husband is old enough to get his own if he wants. My 5 year old is learning great eating habits. We allow for food that isn't healthy too... but overall I try to make that a treat and not an every day expected thing. I do think that would be harder with older kids though!)
  • isislc
    isislc Posts: 140 Member
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    I agree with you but I also just left a post under one of the other topics about the other side of the coin. Yes, they shouldn't be forced to change their lifestyle because we made that decision but they also shouldn't be going out of their way to purposely sabotage us. I'm finding a lot of that with some of the members of my family and it only makes it harder to be successful at what we are trying to do.
  • jlsironen
    jlsironen Posts: 39 Member
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    My husband ALWAYS has twinkies, doughnuts, pastry, Reese's cups, you name it filling a shelf in our pantry. We both have our favorite sweet things and I don't care what's in there unless it's my one favorite thing that he doesn't really care for, Hershey's with almonds. When he buys that it ticks me off because I know he isn't a big fan and is doing it tempt me and I HATE it! If it's period time I cave every time, however now that I have this spiffy little site I know what kind of workout I need to do to counteract my naughty munchies.
    It's not about deprivation or being on a diet per se. It's about getting a grip and reigning in what you're eating. I do agree that you shouldn't get upset about someone in your house bringing something that you "shouldn't" have. If you want some of it, eat it! Just set aside the appropriate portion before you take one bite so you don't get all crazy and overdo it. And if you feel guilty then go for a walk :)
  • samrockrocks
    samrockrocks Posts: 251 Member
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    i, however, do not like your comparison of eating meat in front of a vegetarian/vegan to eating tempting foods in front of someone on a calorie budget. vegetarians/vegans (for the most part and in my experience) make that choice because of their views about animals and the environment. throwing (not literally) meat in front of someone who doesn't eat it isn't tempting, it's just rude and disrespectful. people have calorie restrictions because they are unhappy with their weight and it doesn't have anything to do with their beliefs and values (like vegetarianism/veganism). SOOO i hope i'm making my point in saying that the two are not the same.

    Well, what do you consider to be "throwing meat in front of someone" to be? Because I definitely wouldn't consider my example of simply bringing meat home for myself to be forcing it on anyone else. I would, however, consider a vegetarian who was getting mad at me for that to be forcing his/her beliefs on me, which is in itself quite disrespectful and rude.

    i agree with you that it would be disrespectful and rude for a vegetarian/vegan to impose their beliefs on someone that didn't agree. i hate nothing more than someone who preaches to me!

    i suppose i wasn't clear enough on my argument. i was just trying to say that the two examples aren't very similar because the reasoning behind the choices-vegetarianism and dieting- are totally different.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    this reminds me of super size me when in it this guy made he analogy to smokers
  • misspenny762
    misspenny762 Posts: 279 Member
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    i suppose i wasn't clear enough on my argument. i was just trying to say that the two examples aren't very similar because the reasoning behind the choices-vegetarianism and dieting- are totally different.

    I get what you're saying. Dieting and vegetarianism are two lifestyle changes with entirely different motivations behind them.

    I stand by my analogy though. Despite their differences, they can have very similar effects on the family members and friends of those who practice them. My point is that everyone should be respectful of those around them and not hold others up to their own standards unfairly.

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