Hurtful comments that have motivated you...
Replies
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Ex bf. I'm going to mow the lawn tomorrow.
Me. If you actually get round to doing that, I will eat my own *kitten*.
Ex bf. Sharon, there isn't enough time, you have to be back at work in a week.
I actually thought that was brilliant and still use it to this day. He was porky too.0 -
A coworker and I look similar and every time she is pregnant (this is her third pregnancy) I get asked how my pregnancy is going... Did I mention this time she is having twins!!!
This happened to me once, I just said I'm glad he thought I was still young enough to have children - that stopped him dead in his tracks but he did appologise next time I saw him - maybe he just thought he should be kind to "old people" lol.
My advice - take no notice of people like this, they are not worth spending time on. It may hurt at the time but its up to you how long you want to suffer the pain of idiots. One day you will have the figure you want, but others will still be jerks no matter how hard they try.0 -
A coworker and I look similar and every time she is pregnant (this is her third pregnancy) I get asked how my pregnancy is going... Did I mention this time she is having twins!!!
The next time someone asks you how your pregnancy is going simply say "Good, I guess. I've narrowed down the number of men who could be the baby's father to 12. Paternity tests cost a lot." Then give a real uncomfortable sounding giggle & maybe a neck twitch for dramatic effect.
I guarantee they will never ask you again.0 -
I've always packed weight in my stomach first, butt and legs dead last. I work retail and I had a customer ask me if I had "a little one brewin'." Trying to make her uncomfortable I quickly responded, "No, just fat. I wish I had an excuse like that." However, she didn't take the hint, and asked, "Did you recently have one?" To which I said, "No, never had kids. Just fat." She was a little more uncomfortable after that. Seriously...who does that?!?0
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"I was surprised you flirted with me. You don't act like someone..."
What do you mean?
"You have a lot of self-esteem for someone, you know, for someone as fat as you."
-Courtesy of a guy that I liked a little bit. He also went on to enlighten me that he only likes really skinny girls.
I went on to lose 40 pounds, date him briefly, take his virginity and break his heart so severely that he failed a semester of college and cried every day for weeks. I know revenge is terrible, but it just felt so right at the time.
(Must be karma that I gained the weight back, huh?
)
That's awesome. That's horrible. That's karma, for both of you! :laugh:0 -
I had Thundar Thighs w/a booty to match.
Coming from a Witch w/a B who had at lease 50lbs over me!0 -
At my highest weight, and my worst depression, my mother told me "Boys don't like fat girls." It KILLED me to have her say that to me, and I'm sure she forgot it as soon as she said it. I never did.
When I was younger, in grade school, there was a heavier girl that all the kids made fun of. I was a skinny kid, and I remember one time I joined in, being so mean to her, calling her a bad name. And I was even friends with her! I can still picture the scene in my mind. Fast forward about 25 years, and I still felt ashamed for calling her a name. I knew what it was like for people to make fun of you. We happened to find each other on Facebook last year, and after exchanging a few messages, I told her "You might not even remember this, but I never forgot it." And I told her what I did, and apologized. She, luckily, didn't remember it, but was very thankful for the apology. I still feel awful for doing that, but at least I got to apologize.0 -
I put on a huge Brunch Birthday party for my mother-in-law, worked my hinny off, finally joining my husband at the table, my mother-in-law swooped in, told me she was littler and would fit better in such a crowded table. Then after I totally left the room, she heckled she didn't mean anything personal about my size.0
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I have had some mean things from my dad.... when I wasn't even fat he used to call me fat because I was bigger then my sister... and taller.... then I put on the lbs after I had my 3 kids and my dad made a few comments to my partner about my weight....the one that sticks to me is that he told my partner that I complain about the air conditioning not being on in their house because fat people need air conditioning... my partner told me that my sister stuck up for me. But still hurts to hear that my dad talks about me like that. My partner calls me BB for big butt. He says that he doesn't want to see me die because of the weight....0
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"Why the hell would I go out with someone that might smother me with her stomach?"-a guy I liked at the time.
I would've punched him in the face. Dont' mean to get violent there lol, but that's kinda crossing the line. What a Jerk!
In theory, I'm a pacifist. In practice, I believe that some people need to get punched in the face.0 -
At the end of the basketball season, my sophomore year in high school, the varsity coach met with each of us individually to talk about the following year's season and what our goals were. I was shocked when he brought up physical fitness and told me that I needed to lose weight, and that I wasn't the ONLY one that needed to lose weight. At the time, I was 5'5" and maybe 135lbs. (which is fairly normal for an athletic girl). I didn't let it bother me, mostly because he was always a jerk to just about everyone. But I thought to myself, I wonder how those other girls (the girls that were actually overweight) were going to feel when he said the same thing to each of them. Not a smart thing to say to a vulernable teenage girl. Now 10 years later, I will never forget that, and I will never respect him because of it.0
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What is it with stepmonsters? I AM one now and try every day to ensure my "bonus daughters" can't call me that.....
Anyway, MY evil stepmonster and stepbrother used to chant "Kelly Kelly Two-By-Four, Can't Fit Through An Open Door..." I was a chubby kid but not obese by any means. Hmmm, maybe because she was such a BEOTCH is part of the reason I soothed myself with food???? My dad was not a part of this as he worked alot...and I was always too scared of the wrath of the beotch that I never told him.
He's passed away now and I haven't spoken to her in about 18 years, good riddance! 0 -
I can't say it motivated me but I was dating a guy once that was holding my hand when he said "Look at your fingers Ana, you were suppose to be skinny." I do have really thin fingers but who says something like that?!?! When I asked him why he said that his response was "I was trying to give you a compliment." Needless to say I wasn't dating him after that.0
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This thread makes me want to fight more than anything. Parents' saying stuff like that? Really? Not that everyday in my HH is a good one, but I really try to make sure my house is a loving and comfortable place for my children. I know there are a ton of children that is not the case. I wish I could bring them home, but there is that whole resources thing.
I don't recall being told anything about my weight but I probably was. I would also like to say I've never been that mean to someone...but I'm sure I was at some point.
Before my lifestyle change I was always the "jolly fat man" and self depreciating humor was common. Now, I don't think those jokes are funny anymore. Deep down people that are over-weight KNOW they have a problem. Can't imagine there are too many people who enjoy being over-weight for a number of reasons.
I guess if anyone has something to say to me about my weight I'll just tell them: I can always lose the weight, you'll likely be an a--hole forever.0 -
At 220 they said," Why are you on a diet?"
When I stopped cutting at 146 they said," You look anorexic."
Now at 171 (very little fat) I am apparently egotistical, self absorbed, and have changed into a different person. I also roid rage (I don't use) when they were'...just joking'.
People don't want you to succeed. It shows their weakness when you do that.
I generally don't get upset at stupid remarks (well... sometimes furious depending on who said it), ust curious as to their reasoning.
I do wonder, though, if there would be less obesity if more people were rude to the overweight? I only ask because there are far more people who are kind than mean.0 -
This is why I sometimes have a hard time relating with people enough to make friends. I know not everyone is this rude or thoughtless but these things have happened to me too. It wasn't really from family that because none of them have room to talk so much. But still my mother who is about the same weight as me has said some things not just to me but about other people and it irks me. She'll be like "see that fat lady" and I can't help but think 'um mom we are just as fat' as I roll my eyes. My dad has said some to not overly hurtful but memorable that they(him and my step mom) could not believe I could wear my step sister's(5 years old) pants but they were too long. I had heard all about how she lost a lot of weight(starving herself as she could only feed her daughter no less) and was in a 9 and how they loved shopping for her. My dad's relationship with my step sister has always been a hard thing for me to swallow. He talks to her on the phone regularly while I'm lucky to get a call once a year if that. I can't wait to go for a visit when I get a lot of the weight off and to run/walk the Half or full Marathon at Disney World(one of the goals I have for my fitness).
I heard a lot of free willy growing up. Or call your friend Jenny, stuff like that. One friend who I take no hard feelings towards but constantly made me feel self conscious about my 200 lbs or so in high school by say she was FAT. UMMM she wore a size ZERO and they fell off. My other best/closest friend wore a 4-6 but wanted to put on some weight. She has always ate like a bird. Now after her 4th child she has 60lbs or so above her ideal weight. I've just remained supportive and offered advice if she asked for it. She has worked very hard to improve her health after a scare with her heart. She quit smoking and rarely drinks soda anymore which she got away with in her teens and 20s. I would never imagine saying anything remotely bad about her gained weight. She accepts me as I am and always has and I do the same.0 -
"I was surprised you flirted with me. You don't act like someone..."
What do you mean?
"You have a lot of self-esteem for someone, you know, for someone as fat as you."
-Courtesy of a guy that I liked a little bit. He also went on to enlighten me that he only likes really skinny girls.
I went on to lose 40 pounds, date him briefly, take his virginity and break his heart so severely that he failed a semester of college and cried every day for weeks. I know revenge is terrible, but it just felt so right at the time.
(Must be karma that I gained the weight back, huh? )
Yes Karma is a B, I know it feels good to get back a someone that hurt you, but next time you WILL take the high road
or your friend Karma will be back. 0 -
"Are you pregnant" from one of my 6th grade students.....I've lost 12 pounds since that comment was made
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People are such jerks, it is amazing. But it isn't the comments from rude people that get to me, it is the people who care about me most that cut the deepest. My mom is wonderful, she is amazing and brave and smart and she lost almost 100 lbs when I was in high school and has maintained that weight loss for the last seven years. Every time I start to work on my fitness she tries to encourage me, but she says things like "God, the boys will love you when you are skinny" or "think of how much easier it will be to find a wedding dress" I know she isn't trying to hurt my feelings but it does every time, not to mention the pressure she is putting on me with all the relationship/marriage stuff. Like losing weight is the key to my future and if I fail I will end up a lonely old spinster or something.0
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At 220 they said," Why are you on a diet?"
When I stopped cutting at 146 they said," You look anorexic."
Now at 171 (very little fat) I am apparently egotistical, self absorbed, and have changed into a different person. I also roid rage (I don't use) when they were'...just joking'.
People don't want you to succeed. It shows their weakness when you do that.
I generally don't get upset at stupid remarks (well... sometimes furious depending on who said it), ust curious as to their reasoning.
I do wonder, though, if there would be less obesity if more people were rude to the overweight? I only ask because there are far more people who are kind than mean.
Good thought, even though "fat" is looked down on, there is a lot of acceptance in our society, and that may be a contributing factor. Being rude? We have enough of that, maybe what we need is more support, yet firm in not accepting over weight as “that’s just the way they are."0 -
Sometimes it's what they don't say!
Me: "I'm thinking of joing Weight Watchers" - just to see what people say.
Everyone else: *silence* - no "You don't need to, you've got a lovely figure"
Hmmmm....guess they're too polite to say I'm a bit chunky :sad:0 -
My dad told me after I lost over 50 lbs that no matter how hard I would ever try to lose weight and keep it off, I would always end up gaining it back and becoming fat again. It was very hurtful. I have not gained it back (that was over 3 years ago) and am excited to lose the last 30. And then I will maintain that to prove him wrong.0
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One time at a pot-luck party- lot's of people were there and we all sat at a big table- one of these women sat accross me with her plate piled up like a mountain of food. i guess she got embaressed for having that much food on her plate and she started " talking herself out of it " so she said out loud : - wow ... i have soooo much food on my plate, if i really would eat all of this, i .. i i would end up like you ( looking straight in my face ) with a " polite smile " on her face ..
i just looked at her and usually i don't have trouble saying something but i was so cought and schoked - i couldn't respond.. my friend was next to me so she told her " what did you just say " .. so they kept talking and arguing.. i was kind of " out " couldn't believe what she told me in my face- in a huge gathering like that !?!?
While i was on WW- i was losing quite a bit of weight and a friend asked me once " how much have you lost now " i told her.. about 30 lbs- and she said " wow.. if you keep going like that you will look almost better than i do " !!'
yeah.. sometimes people just don't thnik before they speak .. i can't say i have never misspoken but i have never intentionally hurt people like that ..
also - i had twins.. so a month later after my delivery - went to the dr. for a check -up , met someone on the way there - she asked me " when are you due ? " .. i said- the babies are home.. one month old !
and so on..0 -
Flabby Abby. In 6th grade it sucked that my name rhymes so well with flabby and crabby (some times I do get grumpy).
Oh and "when are you due?" I was asked this by a nurse when I was working in a care facility. " I'm not pregnant just fat"0 -
I had a guy once when I was on a dating site ... I posted current pics and so forth and I told him I was a bigger girl and he said you are beautiful in your pics I dont care. Well we decided to meet and as I got out of the car I got a text from him saying *sorry not my type* I was crushed that someone would be that mean...it opened my eyes and made me see what I needed I to do and also opened my eyes to how people judge.....0
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The one that motivated and that I strut on the treadmill thinking about was "Isn't it interesting that our guys (all friends since high school) picked girls with the same body type?" This was from a girl that I see as much more overweight than me. This was when I really realized how much I've gained and that it was time to do something about it. For an extra push I just tell myself, " I am NOT the same body type."
The comment that made me the angriest was from my boss at the time, he was my Dad's age. He actually PATTED my stomach, looked me in the eye, and said, "You know, if you lost that you could. .." Find a man? Get a man/husband? I can't remember exactly the rest of the quote. I was too shocked that this a-hole was patting my stomach and giving me advice on how to find love. I was 5' 5'' and around 165. Seriously. No, I had no spine back then so I had no comeback.
Also, my dumbest/meanest comment I ever made I was like 7 or 8 and there was a chubby girl a little older than me and we were playing together. I said, "I don't usually like fat people but I like you." I was so excited about how much fun we were having together that I didn't realize what I had really said until I saw her face fall. I still feel so bad about that, granted, I can blame it on age. Hopefully it didn't scar her to be called fat so young but I believe it was an early lesson for me about sensitivity. That was the only time I ever saw her, don't even know her name so I have no way of ever telling her sorry.
Since we're talking about mean parents: This was a foreign concept to me until a friend told me about her mom trying to enroll her in weight watchers when she was 15. Their assessment found that she was at the minimum body fat for a girl. So sad! On a more encouraging note: when I cried because I was fat at 13 my Dad cried with me (tried to hide it) and the next day began dragging me out of the house to go running with him every day. I was such a punk kid though. I whined the whole time until he finally gave up after about a month but he had coached me on despite my horrible negativity. I am so grateful now. He was trying to be part of the solution. That motivates me. lesson learned: My dad believes in me and loves me no matter my size, we are in control of our situation.0 -
I was told by a doctor that I was going to die shortly and the only way that I would lose the weight would to have gastric bypass surgery or lap band. Even though I DO NOT have High Blood Pressure, Diabetes, or High cholesterol. I love proving people wrong. I have lost 29 lbs so far and climbing.0
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I had a guy once when I was on a dating site ... I posted current pics and so forth and I told him I was a bigger girl and he said you are beautiful in your pics I dont care. Well we decided to meet and as I got out of the car I got a text from him saying *sorry not my type* I was crushed that someone would be that mean...it opened my eyes and made me see what I needed I to do and also opened my eyes to how people judge.....
That is a guy you are waaaay better off without! We can lose weight...but you can't fix a jerk.0 -
I had a guy once when I was on a dating site ... I posted current pics and so forth and I told him I was a bigger girl and he said you are beautiful in your pics I dont care. Well we decided to meet and as I got out of the car I got a text from him saying *sorry not my type* I was crushed that someone would be that mean...it opened my eyes and made me see what I needed I to do and also opened my eyes to how people judge.....
Ohhhh that's mean. :mad:0 -
I had a guy once when I was on a dating site ... I posted current pics and so forth and I told him I was a bigger girl and he said you are beautiful in your pics I dont care. Well we decided to meet and as I got out of the car I got a text from him saying *sorry not my type* I was crushed that someone would be that mean...it opened my eyes and made me see what I needed I to do and also opened my eyes to how people judge.....
Oh, that would have hurt so badly!! But you are way better without THAT! WOW.0
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